The Upside of the Downside

I don’t have a favorite kid.  Honest!  Ok, that isn’t true, I do have favorites.  Kylie is my favorite to hang out with in the kitchen, my favorite to shop with, my favorite to watch TV with.  Macie is my favorite to work outside with, read with, and my all time number one play dough partner.  Colt is my favorite to go exploring with, be it in our own backyard or a museum.  He’s the one I love to pray with too…he has such a sensitivity to him that amazes me when he prays, he sounds so wise and thoughtful.

In spite of my favorites, I try very hard not to let on.  I don’t NOT do any of these things with the other kids.  I don’t NOT enjoy it with the other kids, either, but there is just something that clicks more with one than another, if that makes sense.

 Anyway, tonight Macie was in our room watching cartoons.  I asked why, she said Daddy told her she could.  I said “Really?  How come?”.  She said “Because, I’m your favorite kid!”  I had to laugh, of course, but instead of correcting her, I told her she was right.  It dawned on me that it might feel pretty great to each of them to at least *think* they’re the favorite.

Just in case word got out about Macie being the favorite, I had to cover my bases.  I went and found Kylie and asked if she would give me a makeover.  She was happy to oblige, of course.  While she did I told her she is my favorite six year old girl.  My favorite make up artist, and my favorite shopping pal.  I told her that I don’t just love her; I really, really like her too.  I named as many of the things I could think of that make her unique, and make me proud. 

That left Colt, who was fast asleep already.  I figured what the heck, we’re on summer break, it’s worth waking him up.  I did, and when he asked why, I told him I wanted him to know he’s my favorite son.  That I love the little man he is, and I am so excited to see the man he becomes.  I told him how much I appreciate his thoughtfulness, his tenderness towards me and the girls, and the sweetness deep inside that allows him to rough it up with his friends and say goodbye to them with a hug and an “I love you, buddy.”

I realized tonight that it’s ok to have a “favorite” kid.  I think it means a lot to them to know that although there are three of them and one of me, they each have their very own special place in my heart and are in some way, my favorite kid.

What is it with my kids and “always” and “never”?  As in, “You never let us have ice cream” or “You always make us clean”.  Neither, of course, is true.  Is it their “limited” vocabulary, that isn’t so limited any other time?  Or childrens’ sense of drama and extremes?  Anyone? 

Here is a short list of the few “always” and “never” scenarios in our house:

I NEVER play with them.  I NEVER let them take a bath.  I NEVER let them buy anything at the store.  I ALWAYS make them go to bed early.  I ALWAYS change the channel in the middle of a show.  I ALWAYS yell at them.  I NEVER make dinner they like.  I ALWAYS forget to snuggle at bedtime.  That one really made me laugh, ONE NIGHT out of six years did I “forget”, and I didn’t really forget.  They were up late and I sent them to bed and laid on the couch for a minute….next thing I knew it was 2am.  They were already asleep, of course, when I tucked everyone in and kissed their sweet little faces.

Anyway, if anyone can explain the “always” and “never” syndrome, I’d love to hear it.

It’s not everyday you can please everyone in a family of five by getting in the car, driving somewhere, and spending five hours in a town you love and hate at the same time.  But we did just that today, each of us had our own version of how the day went down and each one was equally fantastic. 

FIL invited DH to play in a Father/Son golf tournament today in Taos.   This was something they both really needed to do….DH needed to know that FIL understands his passion for golf and realizes how good he really is, and with FIL moving and us possibly moving, who knows when they’d have a chance to do something like this again.  More importantly, with some of the chaos and turmoil of the last year behind us now, those two desperately needed to be “father” and “son” and enjoy some time together without business talk.

The kids needed it too.  We went with DH and had an all day picnic with MIL at the park.  They’ve been needing some run around and be as wild as you want time, and two of their cousins were also there.  Again, with MIL and FIL moving we have to take advantage of these times. 

I needed it too.  I hated living in Taos.  I mean really, really despised it.  And I’ve been sad about that ever since I left.  As a kid, my parents and I went skiing there every year and those trips are some of my favorite memories.  But living in a place you love to visit doesn’t always work out the way you intend, sort of that “too much of a good thing” thing.  Today I got to experience Taos the way I always loved to, as a visitor.  I loved the energy on the Plaza, relished every drop of my Amaretto Latte from World Cup Coffee, a very funky and hip coffee place, and I saw the breathtaking scenery with all the mountains, aspens, and river the way they should be seen; wonder and awe at God’s magnificence and appreciation for the fact that not everyone gets to soak in this piece of Heaven on Earth.

At the end of the day, I’m pooped.  We left at 7am for a three hour drive, played in the park all day, picked DH up and drove another three hours home.  But it was so worth it, and I think we’ll all remember today for our own reasons.

Or, to the rest of us, caterpillars and spaghetti.  It dawned on me today when Macie caught a callapitter that I foolishly thought I’d remember all the cute ways my kids have mispronounced words over the years, and sadly, I don’t.  I remember Kylie calling a rainbow a “bebo”, and both twins called their Uncle Brad “Beaglered”, but thats about all I remember.  My dad even told me to write that stuff down and I thought “Maybe other moms do that, but I’ll remember everything! These monumental (and not so big) things will be forever etched in the sterling silver of my memory.”  Not so!  And now I feel badly that I won’t be able to tell my kids what their first word was (unless “babababa” counts, lol) or when they said it.  I’ll only be able to take a semi educated guess at when they crawled or walked.  I’ll have to sneak a look at pictures to estimate when first teeth arrived.

So, to those of you with baby books that actually have filled in blanks, my hat is off to you.  Can I copy yours?