WhimsyME

Have you ever lost anything precious to you?  Maybe it was your wedding ring.  I’ve done that.  It was my first ring.  The one Scotty had made for me.  The one he put on my ring the day we said our vows in front of all our family and friends.  I still get teary eyed when I think of that missing ring.  But, it’s just a ring.  It’s replaceable. Still, I remember when I went to put it on and first realized it wasn’t where I left it.  My heart started beating really fast, my knees got weak, I frantically searched the house looking in every nook and cranny.  Then the tears came.  The realization that my ring was gone hit me!  I would never have it again.

Well today I lost something more precious than diamonds. Something irreplaceable.  I lost my daughter.  Scotty was working in the bathroom with his cousin and I was in Ethan’s bedroom with him.  Scotty got ready to leave for a minute and started looking for Maddie.  He came to me to ask where she was.  I didn’t know. How do you not know where your child is?  We looked all around the house.  We have dozens of people around our house right now b/c we are getting a new roof.  This thought scared me even more.  I don’t know these people.  But, Maddie was no where to be found.  Scotty is frantic, running the streets.  I’m running up and down the alley way (in my pajamas.)  And I notice Ethan’s scooter at our neighbor’s back door and her gate was open.  I knocked on her back door and Scotty was standing at her front door.  There sat Maddie on their sofa.  I grabbed her up and told her to go to her room until I calmed down enough to talk to her.

And when I finally went in there to talk to her I asked her how she felt when she lost something precious to her.  I cried.  Have you ever cried while disciplining your child?  I did today.  I told her that she is my most precious possession and if I lost her, if someone took her from me I would never forgive myself.  She said she told her daddy where she was going.  But, she didn’t ask permission.  She didn’t make sure we heard her.  I think we are clear on this now.  We were both busy and she took advantage of that to do what she wanted to do.  This has never happened before.  I’ve never lost one of my children.  It’s an awful feeling.  Ethan was in there when I was talking to her.  I hope he learned something from it, too.

I took the opportunity to tell her about another little Madeleine that would never see her parents again b/c someone took her from them.  I told her that there are mean people in this world and we can’t trust everyone.  I explained that her daddy and I were scared b/c we have strangers working on our house and they may or may not be good people.  She was crying.  She understood how scared I was.  And she has been pretty clingy all day.

It’s been an eye opening experience.  A reminder of how fast it can happen.  The what ifs haunt me.  And I realize that I’m pretty darn lucky.  Even if she was gone for only a few minutes, a lot can happen in a few minutes.  It’s a lesson to me to never assume that Scotty has an eye on them or knows where they are.  I still need to be sure I know where both of them are at all times.