WhimsyME

I’m 31 years old.  I’ve been married 10.5 years.  There are things that I’m simply not good at.  I could name a hundred things I excel in. Okay, maybe not a hundred. Probably just a handful if I were to be completely honest.  But, I try to be the best in everything I do.  There are things I simply lurve to do.  There are things that give me such total satisfaction when I complete them.  Cleaning is not one of these things, m’kay.  I hate hate hate to clean.  Hate it.  Did I say hate?  Hate.  I love to cook.  I’m a great cook.  I love to be creative and do fun things like paint.  I’ll paint the walls in my house, even.  It relaxes me.  But tell me to clean my house and it sends me into a rage.  I kid you not.  It’s ugly.  Like green eyed, three headed monster ugly.  I’ve tried to pretend I enjoy it.  I’ve tried, thru the years to be the good wife and keep my home clean for my neat freak husband. Oh boy he is such a neat freak!!  I’ve done everything short of hypnosis to get myself to enjoy cleaning.  Unfortunately my committment issues keep me from sticking with a plan.  I failed miserably.  I’m not a good housekeeper.  There.  I’ve said it.

Last night while catching up on one of my shows my dear dear husband was slaving away in the kitchen, organizing the pantry and mopping floors.  He’s one of those people who are constantly cleaning.  When we go to dinner at someone’s house he’s the one doing the dishes after dinner while I socialize.  It just doesn’t occur to me.  I’m one of those people.  I will cook dinner for people all night long…I just don’t want to clean up after them.  I guess that’s fair.  I know people who had rather clean than cook.  Not only do my housekeeping skills leave a lot to be desired, my organizational skills and time management skills are worse.  Perhaps this has a lot to do with not having a job for 7.5 years?  I’m not a therapist, I’m not about to diagnose my own mental problems, but I do wonder if this is something that can be improved upon?

So, Scotty is in the kitchen cleaning up the mess and organizing the pantry (all labels facing forward.) When he finally comes into the study to sit down I look at him (in all seriousness, I might add) and say “Well, after 10 years of marriage I have to tell you something.”  He kind of gets the deer in the headlight look and cautiously asks me what is on my mind.   I continue, “I’m not and will never be a good housekeeper.  It’s not in me, I hate it and no matter how hard I try, I will never be good at it.  I hope you don’t expect too much b/c it just ain’t gonna happen.”  He burst into laughter.  What was I to expect, really?  The man knows me better than I know myself.  He just replied with “Am I supposed to be surprised?”

It’s one of those things that no matter how hard I try, I will never live up to  his standards of cleanliness.  I’m actually jealous of the people who can manage to keep their house clean and they can do it without their head spinning and green stuff spewing from their mouth.  But, I’ve accepted that I’m not one of those people.  I admit it and I accept it.  It’s so freeing.  It’s not an excuse to not clean.  I will still clean my house.  I don’t have to enjoy it, though.  And I don’t have to be so hard on myself from now on.  Letting my husband know that I’m aware of this and saying it out loud was so therapeutic!

I’m getting to be such a big girl!!