*Sigh* Just Another Vent From Me

3xsthefun wrote: I know I've been talking about my dad alot. I know everyone is probably getting tired of hearing about it.

Sunday, my mom watched the girls while we went to a mud bog. Well sometime that afternoon my dad and brother came down to cook on the grill. This all happened while we was at the mud bog. My brother had taken my dad to the store to buy couple of beers.

Well my mom said they got into, she started walking up the road and my dad was spinning tires. My mom finally told him she didn't care if he had the occasional drink long as he don't get back to where he was before.

*If* my dad did do this it would not bother us so badly. But I just do not know how this will end up. My mom done told him she is going leave if he starts drinking heavy again.

Anymore I feel so distant from my dad, not because of the drinking. Just seems like every since the accident I can't seem get close to him.

Rob and I was talking about it. But we are really starting to think he was not drinking that much when he wrecked. Yes he was drinking. But it took alot get him drunk! We believe something happened with the truck. His truck was lefted and old. Rob said those trucks are dangerous since he has one of his own. We think my dad got into some gravel tried to whip truck back on the road. That is when he lost it.

I'm not trying make accuses for him. I just know how the trucks are and his truck had little more power then Rob's. So more then likely it took him for a ride.

I wrote him a poem for him to give to him on Father's Day. I'm almost afraid give it to him. That is bad isn't!

Oh, well I am done.

mckayleesmom replied: Just hang in there. I think you are just going through the emotions...Its hard to find out that your dad was driving drunk...trust me . People are killed everyday by drunk drivers and its hard to believe that someone you love could have been behind that wheel. Just concentrate on trying to get him to get better. Thats really all you can do...I would give him the poem.

mom21kid2dogs replied: So sorry, Tina, this stuff keeps happening with your dad (especially with your daughter around ). Feel free to your brother a good one over the head! Ummm. . . what was he thinking?

I don't have any bias against drinking, I tip an occasional wine glass myself. But there is a huge difference between a "responsible" use of alcohol and an irresponsible use of alcohol. Those in the latter category are generally alcoholics~they will never be able to handle alcohol responsibily~totally sobriety or abstinence are they only cures for this disease. It can be a real challenge for an alcoholic not to be tempted to drink, especially if he is surrounded by drinking, even if the others drinking are being responsible about it. BTDT with several family members and a friend of the family. At least for the time being can your family not use alcohol with him?

I hate to see the pain in your posts over this issue. Is there an Alanon group in your area that you can connect with? You can this info from a local AA group. Other area service providers, like a local counseling facility or even your local law enforcement or court should be able to help you find one. It really is an immense burden you seem to be carrying about this and the people in Alanon can be so helpful with this!

to you. I hope you and your family can get some peace of mind in this matter!

mckayleesmom replied: I just wanted to add that even if you, your husband, mom and brother are not alcholics,,,its probably not helping him if you drink around him. That probably just fuels the fire..kwim?

Kaitlin'smom replied: Sorry your dealing with this, but it does sound like your dad should not be drinking at all, and shame on your brother for taking him to get beer I hope you can get back with your dad and just be honest with him.

3xsthefun replied: We don't drink around him my mom told us not to. We are going by her wishes and I know it would make it worse. There has been no one around him that has been drinking. My brother is not old enough to even buy beer and I don't think he even goes out and parties anymore.

It is my dad that wants a drink. I believe he has alot of issues. He is home alot on the weekends my mom works most time. My brother still lives with them but he goes out and does what he wants. So my dad is there alone and that is when he would drink. That is probably one of biggest reasons he wants to drink again. I don't know if he is lonely or what.

I don't know of a Alanon group around here. I'm sorry but I'm not going force my dad into getting help. I love him to death but he needs make what decisions he believes is right. I do believe deep down he will be ok but right now it is just not looking that way. I just needed to vent.

Also if my mom really does not want him to drink. She could talk to him more about getting help. But she just gives into him and lets him do what he wants. I just do not think they will split up. She has threatened him for years to leave from time to time. Never has done it.

But thanks for the support it means alot.

Kaitlin'smom replied: your right you cant force into help, if they dont want it it will not work and they may end up resenting you. Its frustrating but you do have to waite until they reaslise they need help. All you can do is be there for him, maybe you can suggest some hobbie for him to help him drinking from boardum....just an idea does he have anything he likes to do?

3xsthefun replied: Ok, I thought I sounded a little rude. I've just been under so much stress. We are going try move back into our old place that burned some back in December. Plus with some marriage troubles..well they are not as bad. We are doing better but still have some sore places. My dad's issues don't help either. There are tons other things going on to.

I didn't sleep very good last night either. Maegan kept getting up for some reason.

I know I probably sound like a grouch. I'm sorry if it sounded like I snaped.

Yes, he is the one that needs realize he needs help. I could or anybody can tell him until we turn blue in the face. I've told him way before all this stuff started happening how I felt. But he just shrugged it off. All I can do is just talk about it some hoping it makes me feel better and it has. I'm glad that I have some really understanding friends to talk to here.

Kaitlin'smom replied:
dont give it a sceond thougth, I hope I did not come off that way either, I am a bit grouchy myself (darn AF and cramps)

it does sound liek he needs some type of hobbie other than drinking

3xsthefun replied: You didn't come off rude at all. AF just left my house yesterday *thank goodness*

Yes he does need to find a hobby or two, we'll get him help us out at old home some. It is not like he has nothing to do. There are plenty things he could do around there house. It just seems like he don't wanna do them.

mom21kid2dogs replied:
Actually Alanon is not for the alcoholic~it's for the people who love them. Sorry if that was confusing. Olivia interrupted me about 85 times when I was trying to type!!

3xsthefun replied: Oh, ok I still don't think we have a group around here like that. We live in fairly small area so it is hard to tell.

A&A'smommy replied: (((((HUGS))))) I wish I could think of something to say but I can't I just want you to know that we aren't getting tired of hearing about your dad... or anything else you are going through a difficult time in your life and we are your friends hear for you when you need us!!! ((((HUGS))) I hope everythings gets back to being good for you guys!!