"The Business of Being Born" movie

mommy~to~a~bunch wrote: http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/

Has anyone here seen this? I haven't yet, but I want to. I've reserved a copy of the DVD when it comes out.

I had one homebirth, and LOVED it. It was WONDERFUL, and yes, giving birth can be wonderful! Any more babies will be born at home.

I hope that more & more women see this movie, and realize they DO have choices when it comes to their body and their baby. The C-section rate in this country is absolutely ridiculous and outrageous. There's no need for it to be that high.

A GREAT book to read is The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer. Every expectant mom should read it. Doctors don't always know what's best, or have the best interest of the patient in mind.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied: Bumping this up.

A&A'smommy replied:
I completely agree!!! ANd I would like to see this I think I heard about it before but I can't remember where...

I HATE that I was robbed of having a normal delievery.. that I ended up having a c-section because of a dr wanting me to hurry up and have my baby so he could go home

luvmykids replied:
That is AWFUL I hope you have a much better experience this time Are you going to try to do VBAC?

A&A'smommy replied:
no... I really, REALLY wanted to BUT the things that could happen to me during labor scare the living )(&)(* out of me.. and on top of that I have big babies so the chances of me tearing are a bit higher than someone having an average size baby.. but it will be a MUCH better experience because its a MUCH better hospital!!

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
OMG Jessica! That is AWFUL . Women are so often treated like cattle, it is sickening. Our bodies are violated without our permission all the time. It needs to stop .

A VBAC is actually safer than a repeat C/S. A great article to read is Cesarean Birth in a Culture of Fear. Mothering is my favorite magazine. Some other websites that might be helpful:

http://www.vbac.com/
http://www.vbac.com/uterine.html
http://www.childbirth.org/section/resVBAC.html

Your risk of tearing is quite low. It's all about YOU controlling the pushing phase, not the doctor or nurse yelling at you (UGH!!) to PUSH, PUSH, PUSH!! I birthed Abby who was 9lbs. 2 oz. without a single tear or mark; I pushed when I wanted to, how I wanted to.

How big was Alyssa? An average baby weighs 6-10 lbs. or so, what almost all babies weigh when mborn. So I don't think you have a problem birthing "big" babies.

luvbug00 replied: They couldn't get us in and out in one day. lol! but here the hospital i delivered at was nice and they let you stay 2 days and give you really comphy suits, no room sharring here! I have real issue about the prenatal care here though. IT STINKS!

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
"Prenatal care" is a really misleading term most of the time. More like "prenatal scare" because of all the needless worrying it causes. And most of the care is unnecessary too. It helps doctors feel like they are doing something. Next time, I won't be getting ANY testing done.

Bamamom replied: Okay I'm going to have to be the dissentor here on the prenatal care thing. I agree that SOME of the prenatal tests are unnecessary - for instance we opt out of the down syndrome one - we're having a baby - If it has Down's it has Downs - so be it. But I think at least one ultrasound is wise. I have a friend who found out during her routine ultrasound that her son's kidney duct was blocked and his kidney was extremely enlarged because the urine couldn't empty out - this was easily fixed with surgery. However if it hadn't been he could have died at birth. I've also heard many stories about babies who's heart valves don't develop correctly. If found during the routine ultrasound this can be fixed before birth.

Basically I think you have to use good sense in your medical care. If you're more comfortable giving birth at home that's great and I think you should do so. But I think not seeking proper prenatal care is irresponsible and could place you and your baby at risk. JMO

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
I am using good sense. I can do proper care for myself, as I know myself better than anyone. I've given birth a few times too, so I'm well aware of what hapens. You just read my post about how I feel about prenatal care, so don't come & lecture me on why you think it's wrong.

These "many" stories you've "heard" about could be wrong too.

Kaitlin'smom replied: I hated having a c-section but I had to other wise its more than likey I would have lost her.

I do admire those who can have homebirths its just not for us, if I were to ever have another child I would do a few things different and hope for a VBAC, as long as its safe for my child.

BAC'sMom replied:
I totally agree with you Rhonda

Sometimes a routine ultrasound can pin point a possible problem and I THINK it gives you better time to prepare.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied: If I felt something was wrong, or the care I was giving myself didn't seem right, of course I'd seek further care, from a midwife, not an OB. I wouldn't be so careless to just ignore potential problems.

Calimama replied:
I tore and Miabella was only 6lbs! It wasn't too bad though, and I def. prefer that to the C/S my doctor tried to give me.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
Yeah, the size of the baby doesn't matter. Some people have the most trouble delivering a 5-6 pounder, then have an 8-9 pounder that was a lot easier.

Calimama replied:
Is there a way to prevent tearing for our next baby? Besides an episiotomy? (sp?)

holley79 replied: Well Annika was an easy birth. I had awesome prenatal care and the u/s put me at ease that she was doing well. We did opt out of the DS test because I don't see the point in it. If my baby has DS then s/he has DS and I will love it no matter what. My sister HAD to have a C-section because C was Frank breech and was not turning. I am all for prenatal care, I trust my Ob/Gyn with my life and the life of my child, I also know that if she tells me I have to have a C then I have to have a C.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied: The list here will help prevent tearing: http://www.mothering.com/articles/pregnanc...otomy-side.html . Hopefully you won't need an episiotomy either.

Calimama replied:
Thank you!

A&A'smommy replied:
Thanks so much for the information I have been searching the internet and have LOTS of trouble finding something PRO VBAC

Alyssa was 8lbs 9ounces.. the dr did say that i have GREAT baby hips if that means anything

mommy~to~a~bunch replied: I never understood what that meant either. Hips aren't what's important, it's how the pelvis is built. I'm glad I could help out . LMK if you need help with anything else.

My2Beauties replied: As far as the VBAC I agree with Mollie on that one.

Now for prenatal care, I'd go crazy if I didn't have an ultrasound because if something was wrong and they died at birth and it could've been prevented by having an u/s I'd never forgive myself. I had to have an u/s at 10 wks with Hanna because I was bleeding and turns out I had Placenta Previa, which, if it doesn't go away can be very serious. You can't lift anything over 10 lbs, no sex, etc...so had I not went and had this checked out then I would have never known and could have harmed her.

Mollie, how would you know for example of a kidney problem such as the one mentioned or a heart valve issue if you don't have any prenatal care? I'm just wondering, please dont' be defensive, you can't "feel" those things going wrong.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
I wouldn't. Some people can just tell when something's not right. But I'm sure DH would kind of freak if I didn't have that 20 week U/S, just to make sure everything is OK. I'd really have to think about that before I got it done though.

coasterqueen replied: I hated having to have a c/s with Kylie - should have never listened to the doctors then. BUT that being said, my Megan would not be here if it wasn't for docs, prenatal care, bedrest, ultrasounds, etc. so I'll thank them for that and say to each their own on how far they go with OB care. We don't have midwives around here, so you don't really have a choice but to use an OB.

My2Beauties replied:
Oh ok, I thought you meant you didn't get any type of u/s at all.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
I'd prefer not to have any at all, but I know it would really ease DH's mind if I had one. This next pregnancy is going to be extremely low-tech, which is the way normal, healthy pregnancies should be in the first place.

HuskerMom replied: For me, an ultrasound was nice to just put my mind at ease if nothing else.

I had a c-section last time and will have one this time too and I wouldn't want it any other way. I think even if my hospital did VBAC I wouldn't go for it. But that's just my personal choice.

Bamamom replied:
I'm sorry I upset you. That wasn't my intention. The "you" wasn't directed at you personally - but rather as a general pronoun. As I said in my original post - I think to each his/her own - but I do think that people have a responsibility to the child/children they concieve to give them at least basic medical care. IN MY OPINION (you don't have to share it) I think a basic ultrasound is part of that.


Why do people on this board always get so defensive when someone disagrees with them? It doesn't mean I think you (again you in the general sense) are a bad person or parent if I disagree with you - just that we have a difference of opinion. The world would be pretty bland and boring if we all agreed on everything. No need to just down my throat for expressing a different line of thought.

People please don't start a debate here. That is not what I'm after. Just let me express this (and of course give Mollie a chance to respond if she wants) and lets all move on.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
I'm sorry too. I thought your post was directed to me. My child(ren) will get excellent care, just not from a doctor. I don't know if that will include an U/S or not yet.

Danalana replied: I'm not trying to argue, but what is your (Mollie) distaste for doctors? Admittedly, this is my first baby, but I have loved my OB and the prenatal care I have gotten. he asked me if I wanted most of the tests, and I opted out of most of them (Down's Syndrome, spina bifida, etc...). I had ultrasounds and the sugar test, but that's about it. I'm just wondering if you had a bad experience with one or if you don't think they know what they're doing. Again, not trying to debate...I just haven't ever understood such contempt for doctors. I know we can educate ourselves and do a lot of things ourselves...no arguement there. I haven't had experience with midwives because, as I said, this is my first. The lady on my pregnancy board who is having an unassisted home birth also really dislikes doctors, so I'm just wondering if I missed something. Personally, I have always had good doctors. But, as someone mentioned, it's every person's decision.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
I educated myself on what birth really is, or the way it SHOULD be, which my first 5 weren't. I learned a LOT about pregnancy and birth when I was pregnant with Abby, more than with any of the others. I really think that a completely natural, stress-free, drug-free delivery is BEST for babies, and FOR ME, that can only be at home.

As for doctors, I've had my eyes opened to their dirty scare tactics and lies. I really don't think they have the mom's or baby's best interest in mind 100% of the time. I've had first hand experience with this, and has caused me to question everything I am told. I research and come to my own conclusions, instead of blindly trusting someone who is in it just for the money.

I am sorry if I sound bitter about this, it's because I am. I feel like I was robbed of the most important moments of my life. I can't change it, but I would in a heartbeat if I could.

Danalana replied: Oh, I see. Well, I guess that's the difference between us. I haven't experienced any scare tactics or anything like that. My doctor's like "Do you want such and such test?" and I tell him whether or not I do. Of course, a lot of it could be that I have had a very uncomplicated pregnancy...no reason for scare tactics. *shrug* I went with this doctor because I know several people here who are his patients and they love(d) him. And maybe part of it is that I'm jsut so darned happy about having a baby that I don't give a lot of thought to anything else. If we can get the baby here safely, that's what I care about. As for stress-free deliveries, I don't know much about that. I think lots of babies are born into stressful or emergency situations...are there long-lasting implications from that? I have known 2 people who had energency births and baby was just fine...well-adjusted and thriving. But, like I said, I really don't have any experience with what you are talking about. All I have to go on is what my friends have gone through and my personal experience with my OB.

Brias3 replied:
I really agree with everything you said here.

I guess I find it difficult to see eye to eye with those who feel the opposite way, but it's only because in three pregnancies/births, I never faced the "scare tactics" and other situations others might have. I felt that I chose a doctor each time that suited me and I was always kept in the know and in charge of my choices and preferences on tests, etc. My last pregnancy was considered high-risk and I feel very secure and happy with the care I was given throughout the pregnancy, as well as the birthing process.

Had I gone through less pleasant experiences, I probably would have felt inclined to research other options, but for me, I felt most comfortable and safe in a hospital environment where I believed the best resources existed in the case of an emergency situation. I'm sure some could say that this provided a stressful birthing environment but I don't feel as though any of that has had any negative implication on my children- I have three happy and healthy kids who seem "none the worse for the wear".

I do respect everyone else's personal decisions of course and actually find it quite interesting to hear about opinions opposite of mine- I find it to be a great learning experience!

Mommy2BAK replied: I'm just curious... what is your thought on multiples? Do you think it would be safe to go with out prental care when your labeled "high risk"? I just keep thinking that if i hadn't gone in for prenatal care, when would I have figured out that i was having twins? I'd probably be thinking i had one HUGE ACTIVE baby

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
All of my pregnancies were normal & uncomplicated. I've never even had morning sickness. I've never had scare tactics personally, but reading others' experiences & traumatic birth stories, I don't want the risk of that happening to me. It doesn't matter how great you think y our provider is. If you think you're getting great care, great! Hopefully you will have a great delivery as well. I don't really buy the line "As long as the baby is healthy, that's all that matters." At what cost though? It doesn't matter what they do to you, as long as the baby is healthy?



As for multiples, I don't know. I'd probably get 1 U/S to determine where the placenta(s) were & if there was 1 sac or 2. I'd still give birth at home with twins.

luvbug00 replied: Not having prenatal care for me wouldn't be the best route. i'd be high risk. my worry is what if you devlop pre-eclmpsia or somthing like that? or there is a kink in the babies spine that can be fixed before birth and have a chance to start to heal so when the baby is born the futher surgeries will be minimal to not exsitent? I dunno. for me too many things can be cought while in utero. My worry would mainly be risks of undetected gestational diabeties or preclempsia for mom.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
GD & pre-e can be monitored at home. I would test my blood sugars and blood pressures, watch for abnormal swelling, etc. I would have prenatal care, just not from a doctor.

Danalana replied:
LOL, you make it sound like they stand over you with torches, devising ways to torture you. Of all the people I have known that have given birth (in real life), none of them have ever regretted anything that happened in labor or delivery. Unless they happened to tear, which isn't very pleasant. Also not the doctor's fault. Anyway, I guess I will go on my own experience. If they do end up standing over me with torches and devising ways to torture me, I will definitely change to a midwife next time!

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
Most people don't know better though. Some may think getting an episiotomy is NORMAL, some think C-sections are NORMAL, IV's are NORMAL, inductions are NORMAL, but they AREN'T. That is NOT how birth is supposed to be. We (as women) have allowed this to get completely out of our hands. Birth needs to be taken back.

Danalana replied: yeah, i don't agree with all of that. back when they couldn't intervene, there were a lot more deaths, whether it be the mother or baby. Lots of babies wouldn't make it if it weren't for c-sections. I agree that not all of them are necessary, though. As for episiotomies, I don't know that much about them. i know my friend didn't want one and got a 4th degree tear. They massaged and let the head stretch the opening, and she still tore. So I think episiotomoes are good sometimes. And if you think about it, so much of what we do isn't natural. Most of what we do has come about through innovation...new technology. I guess some people see it as procecures that don't need to be done...but maybe they miss the fact that many babies wouldn't make it if it weren't for those procedures. Of course, I'm not talking about run-of-the-mill deliveries. I don't know about you, but if I have an emergency, I want some of those doctors who might do something that isn't natural. If my baby's life is at stake, I'm not going to be questioning and wrestling with whether or not it's a natural procedure.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
I agree with you. Emergency C-sections have saved thousands lives. But there's a BIG difference in an emergency, than say, someone who doesn't want her vagina stretched out, or other selfish reasons.

Look at other countries. Their primary care is done by midwives, and babies are born at home the majority of the time. If the midwife suspects any problems, that mom is referred to an OB. To me, that's the way it should be.

Danalana replied: Yeah, I agree with that. I don't understand not wanting to go through labor, even though it will be painful. But it seems like you can get anything you want now, if you pay for it. I guess if a person is willing to risk it, it's their choice. I mean, everybody's so big on "it's my choice", so why not? Like I said, I don't understand it, but I don't understand a lot of choices people make.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
I don't understand those choices either. But there are risks to the baby with these "routine" procedures. I think it's extremely selfish to put yourself above y our baby.

Danalana replied: Yes. But remember that we live in a society that legally kills babies before they even get to BE born. That's particularly dangerous to the baby's health.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
Yeah, I know . I hate our society, which is why I've turned into such a hippy. I want to be as far from mainstream as I can get. I still have a ways to go though.