A Pet for Hannah... - How to Suffer Pet Loss?

asweetnectarwomb wrote: Hi All,

The last couple of weeks my DH and I've been debating on pets, whether we're giving 1 to Hananh or not.

DH's been convincing me to but I prefer not to because I lost one cat before when I was little and it hurt me so much that I don't want my baby to experience the same thing...

What do you all think I should do?

Hannah's been chasing my neighbor's cat lately...
;D

MamaJAM replied: I think pets are wonderful for kids...they teach them about unconditional love - friendship - loyalty...and, coping with loss.

We've had many pets:
~DD#1 had 3 hampsters (all died)
~we had a guinea pig (had to get rid of him beacuse after 2 years the cat suddenly decided to torment the poor thing in his cage)
~we've had 6 different cats -- 2 of them our old apartment made us get rid of -- 2 died (one had a mental problem - the other had sudden and complete liver-failure) -- 2 of them we have now (got them as kittens back in Dec)
~we've had our golden retriever for 8.5 years....and we had another dog who now lives with ILs (long story)
~and hundreds of fish in several different tanks over the years

Yes - the losses of some of the animals have affected us all (especially the two cats who died). But - dealing with their deaths has helped us discuss the life-cycle to the kids.

mom21kid2dogs replied: Death is a part of life and all of us will have to deal with that at some point. How that happens for your daughter likely is more determined by her personality than anything else. Exposing her to it via pets is actually an individual choice.

Because we generally get pets at a young age in their lives, be don't usually deal with death for a while (unless we're talking goldfish~then it's lots more often ) so she would likely have more time to mature and understand. More sensitive kids (the kinds who feel everything deeply) obviously will have a harder time with this no matter what age they are. Most children recover much more quickly than adults IME.

We've lost 2 dogs (and a fish) in less than 6 months. One dog died of an unsuccessfully treated ailment at 22 months and the other of a stroke at 13 years and both were voluntarily euthanized. The animals in our house (well, not the fish) are family as much as anyone else. Olivia was a part of the process both times. She's grieved in a much faster way than we have and is ready for the next dog. That's how she deals with most everything, though. She is a very caring, loving child but not at all sensitive. Another child might have been very crushed emotionally~it really depends on the child.

luvmykids replied: I've lost pets and still miss them dearly, but the only experience my kids have had losing one was when my moms dog died a few months ago. They were sad but took it pretty well, we just told them the dog was in Heaven with great grandpa and that they were happy and having a lot of fun.

b&bsmom replied: It is hard to deal with the loss and see the heartbreak but it is also so nice to see them loving and caring for their pet and making good memories as well. When we had our two cats go to heaven and Brittanys hermit crab and fish she now calls them at night to keep the bad dreams away.

I have always had a pet and I don't know what I would do without one. It is ultimately up to you. I think our children enjoy having a pet and I do too. good luck kup!!

asweetnectarwomb replied:
well, i think ur right...

nice though...
i'll discuss this with my DH

asweetnectarwomb replied:
great idea!

i'm thinking of giving my hannah a goldfish for her birthday (june)...

it's a pet...

i'll check with my DH!

thx

asweetnectarwomb replied:
yeah...i think that's what i'll tell my Hannah if something happens to her future fish...
;D

but I think it's just my being traumatized...it's just me being too sad about losing my cat in the past...maybe it's me who needs help...

asweetnectarwomb replied:
thanks...

i think my hannah will be too...

asweetnectarwomb replied: not important --> hubby disagreed on the gold fish! <--but need to share...

ilovemybaby replied: Abby has already lost one of her pets (our bird). Although she is a little too young to really understand but she does point to the bird cage and say "birdy" still and when we found it dead she looked sad. But she didn't cry.

I agree with Mamajam.

I would definitely stick to a pet that should live for at least 5 or more years. Something like a kitten or a puppy or maybe a Cockatiel?

ashtonsmama replied: We already had 2 Labs when Ashton was born, so he's going to grow up with animals, I think it's a good idea, like Judy and some others said, it does introduce kids to loss sometimes, and that can be an ok thing, a good learning experience I think. JMO.

asweetnectarwomb replied:
sorry for Abby's lost...

about a longer life kind of pet...it seems like a good idea, but what i'm afraid is that Hannah will be too close to it then get sad if it's gone...

or...hm...is it just my trauma?

actually i also find it amusing to have a kitten or puppy here in the house...

thx for your suggestion i'll think it over...

asweetnectarwomb replied:
hmm...you're right...it's gonna be a learning experience...
well, i talke to hubby last night and we decided to 'make the decision' at least by the end of the week...

'silly decision'

NEWMOM05 replied: Good luck with your decision. I loved all my pets and was sad when they passed, but still wouldn't have changed a thing about having them.