A debate about Desperate Housewives topic - spoiler included......

coasterqueen wrote: Ok, last night's DH got me thinking. Do you think it would be right for a women to ask for YEARS of back child support if SHE chose not to tell the father for so long?

I'd like to have a healthy debate on this if we could because I find it very interesting and would love to know all the sides one may have on this discussion.

aspenblue1 replied: I personally don't think its right but I know the state goes back. My uncle was in a similar situation where his daughter was 10 before he found out about her and he paid back support.

C&K*s Mommie replied: No. She made the choice to 1) not inform the father of his paternity & 2) made it on her own without his aid. She should not be entitled to back child support in any way. She should be honest as so many women are, and come forward, and tell the fathers that they have children to love. That is also if the children are grown and of legal age.

If the child is still fairly young, and she finally comes forward to announce who the father is, then certainly I think that she should be entitled to back support. Maybe from that point on he can pay, then the back payment could be tacked on at the end, not at the same time as the current support.

I say this based on your question, as I have only seen a portion of the convo last night on the show just enough to know that they lady was acting wierded out and such.

Kaitlin'smom replied: If the woman chooses NOT to tell the father than NO she should have NO right to back support, from that point foward yes but not back. However if the state goes after it, IMO it should be put into some kinda of IRA or college fund for the child, NOT payed to the mother.

coasterqueen replied: IMO I think a women who waits any amount of time should not be entitled to back child support. Especially the woman from DH last night. She CHOSE to do this. Why should the father have to lose so much just because NOW she wants money? She should have come forward in the beginning. Not just financially is it wrong, but I think it's wrong in general to not tell the father he has a daughter and then years later saying "oh, btw you have a child, now start paying". It's wrong to the child too for the mother to be so selfish.

If that happened to me I'd fight that women for everything I was worth and for the child too. I have a lot more to say, but I get worked up about this too much.

mckayleesmom replied: No....absolutely not. However....it would be his word against hers and in that case I think the money should go into a college fund, not in the mothers pockets.

TANNER'S MOM replied: Well if she made the choice to CHOOSE not to tell a man he had fathered a child..and she made the choice to do it all alone..why can she suddenly undo her decision..and he can still have no choices?

I think every man should take care of his child. It is one reason my DH stood out to me..it was because he paid child support..and he never missed a payment. He was a man who took care of his children. I hate when a friend of mine says.. Oh he has kids but she won't let him see them..cause he can't afford child support..and make the momma a bad person. But My Dh always has taken care of his child.

But this is something completely different..Can she give him back the years he didn't get to see the child NO.. and that girl was just looking for control in there lives..

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: If the father had no idea, than no. Not fair IMO.

My2Beauties replied: I'm in the consensus here, if the mother chooses not to tell the father that she is preggo and chooses to raise that child on her own and the father has no clue he's even fathered a child, I do not think it's fair to come back even 1 year later and say hey gimme some money buddy I changed my mind! The law shouldn't allow it IMHO.

ashtonsmama replied:


I agree with all of the above.

My3LilMonkeys replied:
VERY well said Mel, and ITA!

gr33n3y3z replied:
I agree with that also

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Okay, not to change the post, but for a mother of two boys, does the law protect men from this happening? Is there anything out there that states that if a woman chooses not to let the father know and to raise the child solely on her own, she can not expect any money after X amount of years?? I sure hope so.

I'm hoping to raise my boys to know better, to respect women and to not sleep around, but accidents do happen. It's scary to think that years can go by and all of a sudden some woman can completely change your life! Can this really happen or is it just TV drama??

holley79 replied: Well in the state of FL if they come forward with paternity the father will have to pay back support, even though he did not know he was the father of a child.

Do I think this is fair? No absolutely not. He did not chose not to pay she made that choice for him. She should have been honest from the begining. If the woman comes forward and names a father for her child, informs the father, then yes that is where it should pick up and VISITATION should be allowed to that father if he wants it. If he decides not to be a part of that child's life he should still support the child. JMHO

luvmykids replied:
Exactly what I was going to say.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: I think him having requested and taken a paternity test proves he didn't know - so I say too bad so sad lady... but by all means, child support should be given in the future.