Allowances

coasterqueen wrote: Kylie will start getting an allowance along with a set list of chores she has to do starting on her 5th birthday (next week). She's always had set chores to do, but we also have to keep after her to do them. This will be where she's responsible totally for these chores and if they get done she gets the money for them, if not she doesn't. We won't keep nagging at her to do them and then turn around and give her the allowance.

Another reason why we want to do this is because she complains constantly when we are out that we don't buy her things that she wants, etc. This will give her the opportunity to save her money and buy things she wants (within reason).

My parents never did this with me and either did Ryan's so this is new territory for us.

Anyone have any tips, suggestions, do's and don'ts etc? I'm willing to accept all the good and bad with this. I have a feeling DH and I haven't thought of all the things we should before implementing this plan next Friday.

Here is our thinking:

Chores - keep room cleaned, put dirty laundry in laundry room once a week, keep toys picked up throughout house all the time, clean your dirty dishes off the table and put in sink.

Not sure what else to add - any suggestions on that welcomed as well.

We were thinking a $1 a week per chore (maximum of 5 chores, $5 total for the week).

ETA: One question that runs through my mind is - Is this a lot to ask of a 5 year old? I personally have a habit of pushing my children more than I should. I constantly have to remind myself of their age, but I don't remember what I was asked of at that age so I always wonder if I'm not pushing her enough or too much.

boyohboyohboy replied: i think a chore list is great. we give caleb a chore list, but we do have to keep after him, if i have to do it enough times, i tell him then he loses his allowance, we also dont have a set amount we give. sometimes he is happy with just a quarter...(he isnt really into money yet) but he sets the table, clears the table, keeps his room clean, makes his bed, and dusts..he has the option of saying no, but then he loses privledges. so he rarely does. we also reward him with doing things he likes to do or going places he likes to go, not always money.

i think teaching kids about money is great, we also have started the 10% tithe, 10% savings thing, our parents didnt do that with us, and we want to instill a little better idea of how to manage money then we had. i hope caleb never uses credit cards...

he also donates some of his piggy bank monthly to a charity that he picks to help him have some compassion for others, and this we are so proud about, he never needs to be pushed to do that, he always loves helping others.

luvmykids replied: Kylie may know this already, but I know with mine I have to be specific...."keep your room clean" specifically means make the bed, toys have to but put away properly (not shoved under the bed), etc...

I think what you've got so far sounds good...at first glance I thought $20 a month was a lot for a five yo but I spend that buying them junk anyway. I think it's a good idea to have two piggy banks or jars or whatever, where she has to save 10% each week in one, towards bigger things, and the other is "spending" money.

luvbug00 replied: http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Colle...nAllowance.aspx

i read this and follow it to a T and it is working well. Mya gets $7 a week and chores are expected to be done because she is a member of this family not because we pay her to do them. I was raised to do chores and gt paid for it and so this was a new approch for me but i reccomend it.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Maddie has a chore chart, but has not been real consistent with it. She is getting better and more involved as time goes on, though. I'm like you, I didn't want to have to remind her to do these things, therefore I let her sort of figure it out on her own. It seems she finally gets it, but she is also saving her money for something special. That seems to be a huge motivator in getting things done. I'm working on letting certain things go like the way she makes the bed, etc. And it helps for me to be more consistent as well, and I haven't been until recently.

I think $5 is fair.

Maddie told me the other day that she didn't want to do her chores, that she would rather just get money by losing her teeth. I told her that her teeth would stop falling out one of these days and she'd stop making money, but the work never runs out. Life lessons.

Mommy2Isabella replied: Nadia i read that article and Bella is only 1.. and I thought it was great!!

Anyways! i have no input I was just curious to see what others had to say on the subject! Hope it all goes well!

Boo&BugsMom replied: Can you be my mommy? Tanner does all those things and we don't pay him for it. Poor kid, he's getting dupped.

I'm not sure when or if we will do allowances. I always got one, but not until I was about 10, and I don't think Troy did at all so we may have some arguements about it. Tanner does get money from my parents though for picking up their dog doo-doo...and he does it, willingly. Ack!

I think the reason we have never thought about an allowance is because Tanner has so much stuff, that he really doesn't "need" to buy anything with allowance money. So, it just hasn't been an issue yet in our house. The money he does get on occassion he does save for special things, but it's not a whole lot...a dollar here, a couple dollars there. He has chores and he has always been expected to keep a clean room. We have just never paid him for it, it's just expected because it should be, money or not.

momtoMegan&Alyxandria replied:
I was raised to do chores too. However, I was only paid when I was younger. Once I hit 12 and my mom went back to work it was expected of me. My brother and I did all the dusting, vacumming, dishes (setting and clearing table included), cleaning the bathrooms (which I did, b/c brother don't care how clean or dirty they were), putting our clean clothes away and keeping our rooms cleaned. We switched back and forth every other week on most of them. We would also be asked to help with laundry as well. Also on days my mom worked late I was responsible for having dinner on the table at 5:30 when dad got home. Like I said I didn't get an allowance, but I did get stuff I asked for a lot.

To this day I hate doing dishes and I hate doing laundry. I don't know if I would look at it differently had I been "Paid" for it or not.

momtoMegan&Alyxandria replied: Meg does have chores that she does. She has to clean the dog poo and she has to empty the dishwasher. She of course also has to keep her room picked up and her toys picked up through out the house. I typically just transfer money from my account to her account, but then there are times when I have cash, that I give her. When she says she doesn't want to do something then she doesn't get the money.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Claudia gets $5.00 for her allowance. She has to clean her room (which includes bringing her dirty laundry to the hamper) and she sets the table, which is really cute to watch and heaven forbid you try to help her!

5littleladies replied: We don't pay our kids to do chores. They are members of this family and are expected to help take care of the house. They do get allowance, but I'm not quite sure at the moment what they get-That is dh's department. I think at most it is $5 a week and that would be for Madeline, Brianna would be getting less than that I'm sure.

coasterqueen replied:
Jennifer,

Can you elaborate on your system? When you give the girls money do you tell them why or how do you do this? I do feel that the girls are a member of the house and they should do chores without being paid and have been taught that myself from my parents, but I didn't get an allowance. I'm afraid if I just give the girls money and they expect it for no reason, what does that teach them?

I'm not saying your way is wrong, please don't take it that way. I'm really interested in your method and how teaching them that they do chores as part of the family, but a lesson in money too and how that all works.

TIA.

moped replied: I don't think we will do allowances, and i think that Jack should do chores and not have to recieve money for it.........

If he wants something and we feel it is ok then we will get it, but liek Jennifer said, he is a member and has to pull his weight!

Althought who knows what i will do in a couple of years

mom21kid2dogs replied: Here's what we use. This book was recommended as a resource in a Women & Money conference I went to a few years ago. The presenter did her homework~great resource for teaching kids about finances!
http://www.amazon.com/Money-Doesnt-Grow-Tr...88419992&sr=1-2

FWIW my husband & I were in completely different camps about allowance. He was in the "if you live here you work here and no one pays you for it" camp and I was in the "but how do you teach a child about money if they have no way to practice?" camp. We both read this and it really helped resolve the conflict for us.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
This is more or less my thinking as well.

5littleladies replied:
Hmm....well now I have to think this through. Forgive me if this sounds muddled-In my head I know how this all works, but I've never tried to explain it.

As far as chores go-We all live here, we all mess it up, we all clean it up. Jas and I don't get paid to do it-The girls won't get paid to do it when they move out, so why should they get paid now? I will pay them extra to do things above and beyond their chores though. For example, last week they got paid to clean our mud room-I didn't want to do it and neither did Jas (lol!), so we paid them to do it. Yes it comes under the realm of cleaning the house, but it isn't one of their assigned responsibilities right now, so they got paid for it. Maybe when they get older they will have regular chores and also things they get paid regularly for, I don't know. At this point in their lives, this-learning what our family needs to function well-is what we feel is most important for them to learn.

I received an allowance when I was a child-It was hinged on nothing, but it did teach me the value of a dollar. If my dad gave me $5 at the beginning of the week and I spent it all that day, where did that put me by the end of the week? That is more of our thinking in terms of allowance. Not so much how to earn the money-they learn that elsewhere. I hope this is making sense. It sounds much clearer in my head.

I guess that is how we do things in a nutshell. I'm sure I will think about this all day and think of a better way to say it, but this will have to do for now. I know everyone has their methods-different things work for different people, this is currently what works for us!

luvbug00 replied:

coasterqueen replied: Nadia, thank you for the link - Dh and I will read through it.

Cheryl - thank you for the link to that book - definitely one we'll look into

Jennifer - your response was perfect and lot for me to ponder on. Very good logic there - you and Jas are great parents IMO.

I see from the responses that I really do have a lot more thinking to do before implementing any plan, so next week is not going to happen.

Thank you everyone for helping me see both sides of this and giving me a lot to think about before making my decision.