Am I the only one? - ok with leaving child overnight
Our Lil' Family wrote: I was just reading Karen's post about leaving the girls for the night with her parents. It seems a lot of mommies are hesitant or uncomfortable leaving their little ones.....except me! We're actually leaving Thomas for the 2nd time, next month for our anniversary weekend. The first time we left him he was 6 months old and my mom stayed with him here for the weekend. Don't get me wrong, I did and will miss him like crazy but I think it's healthy for DH and I to have time alone and for Thomas to be away from us. I know he'll be fine and will have fun so I don't really worry about him.
Anyone else ok with leaving the young ones?
mckayleesmom replied: My kids have never even had a real babysitter before besides family, but they have been without me overnnight...because of hospital stays....I can tell you everytime too
Mckaylee
Age 21 months
Event....Having Russell
Gone 4 days
Babysitter....my little sister
Russell and Mckaylee
Age 4 weeks and 22 months
Event .....Emergency gallbladder removal
Gone 2 days
babysitter....my mom
Russell and Mckaylee
Ages 11 months and 2
Event....night out for me and dh
gone....1 night and the kids were asleep when I left and just getting up when we returned
babysitter....dh's mom.....
Russell and Mckaylee
Ages 1 and 2
Event...Breast reduction surgery
gone 2 days
babysitter...my mom
CosmetologyMommy replied: I have not left Aidan over night yet but I think I would be if it was someone I knew well and trusted, such as my grandpa or mom.
PrairieMom replied: I'm not. I have never left Ben overnight with anyone but DH. The only people who have babysat him are my mom and sister, and the lady down the street who watchies him for 3 hours every other monday so I can sleep after working my weekend of night shifts.
Its a bit better now that he is older. My mom is going to watch him memorial day while I work, and that will be the longest time anyone has watched him from about 9 am until about 6 Pm.
My inlaws are also comming to watch him when the baby gets here. They will be here for a week, about 3 of those days I will be in the hospital.
Part of my problem is that I don't ever want to inconvinience anyone by sticking them with my kid for an extended period of time. I feel more guilty about that than about actually leaving Ben!
C&K*s Mommie replied: with close family (like IL's or my mother) sure. We do it often, with my mother. Christian has stayed in TLH twice with my IL's with no hitches, and my MIL is
planning a third soon over the summer. My MIL loves to have her stay.
With an overnight service like a 24hr daycare. No way. 
With my BIL/SIL for Christian, I would say yes. With Kel-- I would not put my BIL/SIL through that misery. So right now no, as far a Kellie staying. When she gets better adjusted, I could.
jcc64 replied: I didn't leave my kids overnight when they were infants b/c I bf on demand, but in theory, I see nothing wrong with it, particularly if they're with someone you know and trust implicitly, like grammy and grandpa.
Our Lil' Family replied:
I feel that way a lot of times too, he's our child...our responsibility. But his grandparents ASK for him....so I kinda feel bad not letting them have that special time alone with him and I'm afraid they'll think I don't trust them.
PrairieMom replied:
Dh's family lives 12 hours away, and I know they would love to have more time with The Boy, but My mom lives 3 minutes away, and i KNOW it is an inconvience for her to watch him. (she has complicated dynamics in her home) 
coasterqueen replied: I was a big stickler on Kylie waiting til she was at least 2 before spending the night with anyone. She was just a bit before 2 when she actually did. For her she did 'ok' while she was with my parents but was freaked out to stay with anyone for MONTHS afterwards and always thought we were going to leave her. It was terrible. Now she LOVES staying with anyone who will let her, lol.
I've become more laid back with Megan. Maybe the reason I am is because she is severely attached to my father. I don't get it. Kylie was afraid of everyone and really isn't attached to anyone now. But Megan, wow, she sees my father and she wants him IMMEDIATELY. It's actually great to see it. But I'd freak out just thinking about my girls staying with my IL's. She's stayed with her other grandma once BUT because she was staying there with SIL and her cousin. Otherwise I wouldn't have allowed it and Megan wouldn't have stayed either. With my FIL, they can't handle my girls for 2 hours let alone overnight, but eventually we'd probably do it.
Also I'm a bit more at ease that I live 2 miles down the road from my parents so I could go get the girls at any time.
I was not comfortable at all leaving them when they were just babies, though. I also breastfeed so it made it kind of hard to leave the kids for the night, since that is when they nursed the most. I was shocked at how well Megan did with that issue though the other night.
I say to each their own. It doesn't make you a bad mother leaving them with someone for the night and it doesn't make someone a bad mother for not leaving them.
AlexsPajamaMama replied:
Alex has had many sleep overs at my MIL's and at My Dad's house. We have never asked them to take him, they are always asking to have him even if its just for the day.
He has never had a baby sitter other than family...My Nana or his grandparents thats it.
Maddie&EthansMom replied: Ethan's never been away from me for more than a couple of hours and never overnight.
Maddie used to stay with my parent's often. The last time she stayed a few days with them she was 2. She hasn't stayed the night away from home since then. We won't let her. Not that we don't trust my parents, but they have a lot going on and I don't want Maddie or Ethan around some of the situations there. Now if they would come here and watch the kids I'd love to have a weekend away with DH, but they won't do that either.
b&bsmom replied: I have left mine overnight with family but not so much when they were babies. In fact probably not at all. My mom asks for my dd to sleep over sometimes and has just had ds stay a few weeks ago. My mil takes them any chance she gets, which is not often but we let them stay. My thing is I can not be far away. I have gone to the poconos for a overnight lady i nannied for had a house there. However it was only an hour or so away. I would not leave them for an extended period or where I couldn't get back in case of an emergency. A few hours away but not too far.
jacobsmama replied: If DH and I want to go out which is rarely  Then Jacob would stay with my mom like 10 minutes away and my sister also lives at home still and jacob loves her. He has also stayed at my dads before but that is the only 2 places and I don't have a problem leaving him with those 2 people but it does make me feel Guilty if I do. Isn't guilt terrible?? 
A&A'smommy replied: ooh well I have to say I left Alyssa the first time overnight with Jeremiahs mom when she was 8 months old DROVE me crazy all night couldn't stand it so it didn't happen again until she was almost 2 (I was sick) and she has since then spent the night 3 or 4 times `its usually when her cousins are there too (except maybe once). I like to leave her sometimes its a little breather for me and its only one night and she is like 3 blocks away if she stays with his mom and 5 miles up the road to my moms. She has also spent the two nights in a row with my mom twice once when I was sick and I was SCARED to death she would get it and another time when Jeremiah had a business trip (it was suppose to be 3 nights but we cut it short so we could get home to her) and even though I missed her I think it was good for her. To each there own, it totally depends on the dependability of who their staying with, reason behind it, how often and most importantly the child. Alyssa LOVES to spend the night at her grandmothers she begs to sometimes and then the next day she is SOO excited to see me and Jeremiah its nice for us.
can I ask does anyone think its wrong to leave a child overnight with parents? I know I loved to spend the night with my grandparents when I was a child and sometimes I wish I had, had the chance to be closer to them and I think its a great oportunity for alyssa to bond with her grandparents
PrairieMom replied: I don't think its wrong. I just personally have guilt problems with it. I don't even like to leave the Boy with DH for the weekend!
I say if you trust your sitter, and you feel good about it than go for it!
My2Beauties replied: Oh my, I am definitely the odd ball one here because I leave Hanna with my mom every Saturday night, she has went to Alabama with my dad 3 times now for a week each time, and I have been to Vegas twice for 8 days since she has been born and each time she stayed with my mom. When Brian and I wanna go out on a night other than Saturday night, his mom and dad will keep her or his grandma will keep her (but his grandma hasn't kept her overnight in a really long time since my mom started taking her on Saturdays). Hanna loves to go "bye-bye" as she calls it and she isn't scared to be without us. I think it's good for us as husband and wife to have alone time. Sometimes we'll go visit MIL and FIL and when we get ready to leave Hanna will say mommy can I stay here to play with papaw and Ken Ken - so we will sometimes let her. No one besides family has ever kept her though I will say that.
3_call_me_mama replied:
That' spretty much how I feel too.
My general rule to stay overnight away form BOTH of us is
1) they had to not be nursing anymore
2) they had to ASK to stay somewhere
3) The first overnight has to be 5 minutes away or less.
4) I had to feel 100% ok with it.
That said Cameorn did saty away form us one time befoer he really could ASK. My MIL came and stayed here at our house when I went to kathleen. Dh stayed with me at teh hospital. We stayed 1 night and cameorn left us at 7 pm adn returned at 8 am. SO it was 13 hours and he slept 12 of it. Hospital is 12 minutes away. He was 22months. After that teh next time he stayed anywhere was a few months ago. Maybe february. He was almost 3 1/2 at the time. he asked if he could have a sleepover with Nana (my mom ) who lives about 5 minutes away. So he did. I as 100% ok cause I knew he was so close and he had asked and mY mom would bring him home in teh midle of teh night if he needed or wanted.
The second time was about a month ago. We went on a shopping trip with 2 other couples and thier kids. It was about 1/2 hour form where my inlaws live he asked to have a sleepover with Meme ang Grandpa rather than go shopping fo rhte 2 days. So he spent 2 nights it was about 25-30 minute drive from our hotel to their house and I know they woudl have brought him in teh middle of the night if he needed or wanted to. he was fine. slept all night.
Kathleen has never slept away from both of us. She will for teh first time when we have this baby ( unless it is a homebirth) and she will just over 2. MIL will stay with them again. (Hopefully she'll wean herself by then LOL) And her next sleepover after then will probably be at age 3 or so.
Neither kid has had a real babysitteer. It's always a grandparent or close friend or uncle. ANd it's never for more than a few hours. Cameron will for the first time be going on a playdate without me, to a firends house that we have just met recently (they go to our church adn the boys go to teh same preschool), Tomorrow. We have a funeral to attend and my friend is takign kathleen and the littel girl I watch adn Cameron is going to his friends house for about 5-6 hours.
We're kinda wimpy I guess and the guilt of thinking that they might need me or want me while we are away is too overwhelming to actually leave them much...
BUT with that said we do have a honeymoonish type trip planned for May 2008. We are plannign to go to Sandals somewhere in teh Bahamas sans children.
We never took a honey moon and we think by then we'll definately be ready fo rone ! LOL> and the guilt will be long forgotten in teh sand!!
cameorn will be about 5 1/2 Kathleen 3 1/2 and the baby 18 months or so. and by then my inlaws will eb living up here so teh kids can take turns between the 2 grandparents for teh week!
Sorry that got REALLY LONG!
luvmykids replied: I am absolutely ok with it, they have stayed with my parents, both of DH's parents/step parents, and with a couple that we are very close friends with.
I have no issues, no guilt, no nothing. I guess because I trust these people so much and know what a great time the kids have.
AlexsPajamaMama replied:
This happens when we visit my inlaws too!! Especially when Alex's cousin Sammy is over there too.
Brias3 replied:
My thoughts exactly. My kids have only been left twice with someone other than family and that was with a close friend AFTER they were already in bed for the night so it was pretty much asking my friend to come over just for her presence. My husband and I have been away quite a few times alone over the course of the last nearly eight years but I've only ever left them with my parents or sister. During their lives, my in-laws have babysat only a handful of times (they aren't as "kid-savvy" as my mom is). It was really hard when we lived overseas, so far away from family. The long and the short of it was that we just didn't go out alone, except when my sister was there (she came and stayed with us for summers, as she was in college at the time). When she was, she'd let us sneak away for nights alone and we even did a couple of overnight trips to London and Paris alone.
I'm actually currently trying to find someone to come over and entertain them a few hours a week while I'm home studying (I'm headed back to school for my master's) but even then, I'm only going to be comfortable with it because I will still be in the house. It's totally my personal preference though. If you have found people you know and trust with the kids, by all means enjoy the time to yourselves! I myself know that I've always enjoyed the needed time away when I know they're in my mom's hands.
edited to make sense
luvbug00 replied: ohh lets see. with non family she has never spent a night away. with family Every weekend. She was formula fed and so Anyone could care for her. ( I always have my cell phone on and charged and a tank of gas if she needs me. )
My3LilMonkeys replied: My girls have both stayed overnight with MIL & FIL. They go camping a lot during the summer and love to take the girls for a night or 2 - Brooke went more often than Madison last summer because Madison was so young, but this year they'll probably both go 3 or 4 times.
I would let them stay with both of my SILs if they needed or wanted them to. I would not leave them overnight with my parents b/c my parents make me feel like I am inconviniencing them to ask, KWIM?
holley79 replied: Yep I am fine with it. My mom kept Annika Saturday night and Sunday night about a month ago. Needless to say she was just under the three month old mark. I did miss her but I was at work so it didn't really matter. DH had Naval training and I needed sleep. Now if I can just get her to keep Annika for DH and I do have a night to ourselves.  Does this make me a bad mom. LOL
JAYMESMOM replied: Okay I am really the odd one out. Jayme was about 6 months old when I left her for the first time overnight. She was still breastfeeding but they gave her a bottle and I pumped while we were gone. She was with my sister.
At a year we left her overnight with our daycare lady for New Years Eve-Still breastfeeding but she used a cup when I was not around.
I dont have a problem with my kids staying overnight. I don't feel guilty but feel they deserve to be with other people besides me and I still need to be a wife.
My cell phone is always charged so if there is an emergency and this summer they are going with my mom for a week camping. I will be at work but Jim will stay home so we can enjoy some time together at night.
mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: It's not easy, but I am comfortable with leaving Wil with others. We have had a babysitter for some time now...not for overnight...but for a few hours so that DH and I can go on a date. She works with DH and Wil loves her! We don't have family around, so we unfortunately don't have the option to leave him with only family. I have left Wil overnight (3 nights) with MIL when we went on vacation back in March. But MIL had to fly here! You all heard me vent about it, but now that it's over, I would do it again in a heartbeat!! He did great! I feel it's very important for our relationship...
moped replied: I leave Jack lots....we just went away for 2 weeks and frequently MIL takes him for an overnight and others too - I need to go out sometimes....................
moped replied: He has had sleep overs since he was quite young........bad mommy
Our Lil' Family replied: Glad I'm not the only one! He's never stayed with a sitter, only grandparents, however I do have a girl at church that I'd like to start using. He's familiar with her because she works in the nursery and at Mother's Day Out....we'll see! I just know I'm excited about DH's and my weekend away next month!!!
ions_momma replied: I dont have a problem with it at all. Ion will stay with my parents, DH's parents, his aunt and uncles, and a couple of our close friends over night. He stayed for three nights, 3 hours away from us last summer, with DH's parents and with his sister. He did great and could care less. He has stayed with family alot since we had him. The longest we have ever left him was for five nights, and that was because we were on our honeymoon. That was when he was two. I think it was harder on me, than it was on him. Of course, I miss him like crazy when he is somewhere else, but I am glad that he is comfortable staying places other than at home with us and having a break every once in a while in nice!
ilovemybaby replied: My mother babysits Abby. My sister has once. And also Pauls best friends mother but that was just for about one or two hours while we went to the beach to go fishing.
I found it hard to even leave Abby with my mother. But then she has given me reason to not trust her completely like giving Abby a sip of white wine at 4 months old. Even my sister gave her things like a bit of chocolate biscuit and a cream puff. They knew I wouldn't like it and did it behind my back (when I wasn't looking).
Just recently my sister gave Abby a peanut. She has peanut butter (smooth only) and has done since 15 months but that's not a choking hazard. I've been told not to give a child under 3 peanuts. By the time my mother and father saw her giving her the peanut it was too late because she already had it in her mouth and wouldn't give it back (couldn't get it off her).
I think my mother has babysat Abby about 5 times and nothing has happened. It gets easier each time. I didn't let anyone babysit her though, until she was about 7 or 8 months old. I was really over-protective of her.
And my MIL will NEVER babysit her. I only leave her with my parents or my sister.
BAC'sMom replied: I will let my kiddos stay with my Mom (she’s next door  ) and my sister (same town) over night. I know they will be watched like a hawk. My DS #1 usually goes to FIL house in the summertime for a few days. I do not feel my DD is old enough yet, she still needs her Momma  . Other than DS #2 staying at my Mom’s I have never been away from him.
MyBlueEyedBabies replied: My kids stay with the grandparents one night every week or two...and with katy the first time I left her over night she was about 2.5 months. Matt has never been away longer than the one night but katy has gone to Colorado (when we were still iving in California) for a week, California (after we moved to Colorado) for a week a couple times, and to Texas (to visist my sister) once or twice.
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