Anyone have to deal with an alchoholic?

TeagansMom609 wrote: Well when Shawn and I first got together all we did was go out to the bars every nite and drink till we couldnt drink anymore. Then I got pregnant and that changed. Well for me atleast. Shawn still went out and got drunk. Well now he is a full blown alchoholic and we have had so many bad incidents with his drinking that everyone, inlcuding me and his family have had enough. We had an intervention a few months back and he went to some AA meetings, his uncle became his sponser and he was doing really good. Then we got into a fight here and there and he would go get drunk. Last weeked after doing really good again for awhile we got into an argument and he went over his parents and snuck into their liquor cabinet and stole a bottle and came home drunk. I was so dissapointed, so let down..AGAIN. So after some yelling and him throwing stuff at the wall like he always seems to do when he's drunk, I made him call his sponser to come over and I left with the baby and went to his parents. I didnt let him come home that night and when he did you better believe he was going to take his a** to a meeting everyday until he gets better. Well he apologized and has been going to a meeting everyday and last night a guy actually came to the house to have a private meeting. So lets hope and pray he can get over this. Its not good for Teagan. I grew up with it, my Dad is an alchoholic so I guess its normal for me, but I dont want it to be for her.

kimberley replied: (((hugs))) i am sorry you are dealing with this. i grew up with an alcoholic/ drug abusing father also and know that pattern all too well. do you guys have Al-Anon where you are? it is a support group for family of alcoholics. they are really helpful. i know it is hard when you are dealing with the illness and want to protect your baby, but look at the positive side... he recognizes there is a problem by going to meetings and apologizing afterwards. my dad never did is your DH in couselling as well as AA? it would really benefit him because he has to relearn how to cope with stress or he will fall off the wagon everytime something difficult comes up. many hugs to you and Teagan and prayers for your DH. i am here if you ever need to talk

Josie83 replied: I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this . . . but its good that you're helping him out. Teagen's lucky to have a mum like you! I really hope things start to go well for you, you're in my thoughts and prayers. Don't forget we're all here for you whenever you need us! xx

TeagansMom609 replied: :sniff, sniff:...thanks guys! No he's not doing anything but AA now. He doesnt have health ins. so he cant. We do have Al-Anon around here and I was thinking of going. I really should.

Boys r us replied: I'm realy sorry you're going through this!!
I've never had to deal with an alcoholic before..well, not in my personal life anyhow. I wish you luck and don't give up until you've found the right help for him!!

amynicole21 replied: My DH is what is known as a functional alcoholic. He never gets abusive and rarely ever gets falling down drunk... Most people can't even tell when he is drunk. But, he drinks about a 6 pack of beer every night. He doesn't see any problem with this, and when I say something to him he blows me off. He likens his drinking with my affinity for ice cream... I hardly see the similarity

Anyway, I really don't have much advice for you. I haven't been able to make any headway in our household either. Here are some and lots of sympathy.

Kila replied: I am so sorry! No one should have to put up with an alcoholic. It's just not healthy. In my opinion you really need to look into going to Al-Anon. It helped for me. My ex was an abusive alcoholic and I needed a support program to help me understand what was going on because HE sure wasn't going to sit down and have a heart-to-heart to help fix the problem. It helped me a lot! It really did. I think that your main priority is to make sure Teagan's not negatively influenced. Try and get as much support from your/his family and friends as possible and take care of yourself and your daughter. Remember that we are here to talk if you feel that you're getting too overwhelmed. Take care and remember that you will get through this.

MyBlueEyedBabies replied: I am really sorry you (or anyone) has to go through this. I grew up in a house with my dad who is a...I suppose a functioning alcoholic and it's hard. I remember not wanting to bring friends home, or hating it when he showed up to my soccer games. YOu can find a lot of good advise on http://soberrecovery.com/forums/ I have some friends that have learned a lot from the people there.

A&A'smommy replied: ((((BIG HUGS))))) I'm sorry that you have to deal with it but I'm proud of you for being SO wonderful to him and taking care of him! We are always here if you need to talk!

TeagansMom609 replied: Thanks everybody! It really helps to talk about it...well I mean type about it. LOL Thanks for being there. I just hope he gets better or Teagan and I will have to move in with his parents until we can get back on our feet. When is enough, enough? Who knows...

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I grew up in a alchoholic family! And it is not a good environment for anyone. But I should say that you can't force your DH to get help unless he really wants too. Forcing him to go to AA meetings is only going to make him more resentful and drink more. It has to be his choice. I'm sorry, I don't mean to upset you. But I know this from experience with my DH. The more I nagged him about smoking, the more he would smoke. I'm glad that you have the support of his family. I also wanted to say that if he has been drinking for a long time, then it is probably normal for him to have setbacks. If he is serious and wants to go to AA, then just let him have the set back, don't tell him how disappointed you are, because that will only make him feel worse. Just say "Yes this is a setback, but I'm here for you and we will get through this together!) He needs to know that you will be there for him no matter what! I hope I have not upset you. I have a friend who is a recovering alchoholic and while he doesn't have a family (wife and kids), he did have a set back, but we were all (friends) there to support him and it has now been a long time since he has had a drink. Don't give up on him, there is hope!

favre4fan replied: Sorry to hear that u have to go through this. My dad used to be an alcoholic as well as several other members of his family so I know this story all to well. I actually also had to deal with an alcoholic boss here at work, she would come to work hammered and go out to her car several times during the day to drink, you could literally smell the alcohol on her. It was terrible and I was miserable at work several of us called HR to address the problem but the other head boss here chose to ignore it. She lost it last september and quit and unfortunately she passed away from alcohol poisoning 2 weeks before xmas last year. I felt terrible that we did not reach out to her more. It is good that he has the support of you and his family to see him through these trying times. i agree with the others that you should seek support foryourself as well.

jcc64 replied: I'm really sorry you have to deal with this. I agree with the others that Al-Anon is a good place to start for you. I realize how difficult this is and that it is a lifelong struggle, unfortunately. Keep posting and let us support you in any way that we can.