At wits end...

holley79 wrote: (CCP= Child Care Provider)


Well my CCP put me on notice when I went and picked Annika up from her house. She said I was going to have to make other arrangements for Annika's care. She said Annika is miserable at her house and is not adjusting at all. I don't understand this. Needless to say I cried the entire way home. I have no clue what to do. I called the Child Care Center I had found before CCP took Annika. It was still early enough someone was there. Well the first thing the lady asked me was (I'm still floored) is she breastfed? I told her yes. She said they wouldn't take her. Seems moms and BF babies are overally attached and they don't have the staff to accomidate (sp?) a BF baby. Has anyone ever heard such a thing?? I am going to try and find something close to home instead of close to work. This way DH can pick up Annika on his way home from work, which is 2 hours before I get off work. Maybe this will help a bit. I am totally at a loss. I don't know what else to do. I'm losing my mind here. All I night I have asked myself, Am I a bad mom? Is Annika really that bad? I don't know. I'm so lost. Anyone have any suggestions how I can help Annika get use to being away from home?? TIA!

A&A'smommy replied: Oh honey I'm sorry!!! You are a wonderful mom and I can't understand WHY they won't take a bf baby!!!

ashtonsmama replied: That is utterly ridiculous.

As a nursing mom, I would be outraged. Breastfed babies are no more needy than any other babies, if anything they are better adjusted!

JMO.

mummy2girls replied: Thats is insane!!!!!!!!! Jenna's old dayhome provided terminated care becauise she felt jenna was not adjusting.. i felt horrible. I cried all night and for days because i felt it was my fault but i came to fibd out she was being bullied. your a good mom so dont worry! Some providers just cant handle some kids.. go figure!

I wish you lived near me i would take her in an instant!!!!

boyohboyohboy replied: I think kids have a good sense of who they like and who they dont, maybe annika just doesnt like that woman. Or the woman is not all that caring, and nurturing. Maybe she doesnt take the time with her she should....maybe she is one who thinks kids need to entertain themselves...?

I also cant imagine a center that would out right say they dont want to take a BF baby, isnt that some sort of discrimination?
you are not a bad mother, and her crying should reflect on you.
I hope you find someone so nice an sweet for her.


Maybe you could see if your local child care agency can make some recommendations? Our state affilation does that.

amynicole21 replied: WTH?!? I can't believe that they wouldn't take a bf baby I would be livid! She's 8 months old for goodness sake - it's not like they are looking at a newborn with constant nursing needs.

I think that if she isn't adjusting at the old place, I would be pretty quick to take her out. Sounds like the lady doesn't have a lot of patience, of Annika really just isn't happy there. I am sure you will find someone that will be a better fit quickly.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: I didn't BF, but I wanted to put in my two cents worth. When I was looking for a center for Logan there were several who didn't want to take BF infants, when I asked why, they said that that they couldn't properly guarantee the safety of the storage requirements for BM and also, it is a body fluid. Some people just don't want to mess with that, BM can carry several contagious diseases. Hepatitis B is one of them as is cytomegalovirus. I hope you can find somewhere safe for Annika, Holley.
BTW, the center I enrolled Logan does and will take BF babies.

BAC'sMom replied: WTH that's crazy!

mckayleesmom replied: Well I had the pleasure of meeting little Miss Annika today and she is a delight and you are a great mom. Granted she was with you today and Im sure that sure made her happy, but what do these daycare providers expect? You are her mother....They are not suppose to replace you, so there is going to be a period of adjustment and getting used to new surroundings....If they think that 2 weeks is a huge amount of time for that to happen then they shouldn't be watching kids.....Every kid adjusts at a different level, just like they reach milestones. This lady just sounds like she doesn't want to handle the adjustment period.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I agree with Bri in that there is an adjustment period. Every DC should be well aware of that. I'm sorry you are having so much trouble finding a place for her.

garrettsmom replied:
Just curious, how are they better adjusted?

C&K*s Mommie replied: So sorry about that Holley.

That is what I am thinking too. Esp the part about children sensing things about others.

It could be as Kelly (idahoboo) said, there is the issue with dealing with bodily fluids that puts some dc's at an unease.

Also, was mentioned (cannot remember by who)- children go through the attachement/detachment phase around this time. I think Christian went through it around 8/9 mos. Up till then she was great with any and everyone.

"Baby Agaga" is a doll baby, I cannot understand why 2 have given up on her. You are a great mother, don't let them bring you down. This gives another opportunity for you to find a truly loving caring person for Annika. Another door has been opened. Wish you well.

Bamamom replied: That's the most insane thing I've ever heard. I bet you could sue over them not taking her cause she's breastfed. That's outright discrimination.

Hope you find a better place soon. Annika looks too sweet in her robe so I know she couldn't be any real trouble

kimberley replied: that is truly the most idiotic thing i have ever heard!! i am sorry your ccp is being a witch. Annika is NOT bad, you are NOT a bad mom but these people ARE bad ccp's!!!!!!!!!!! ALL babies... bf or ff have issues adjusting especially if the environment they are in is not nurturing! i would more be questioning their ability to care for children than i would of your parenting skills! you are a great mom, Holley, don't let these morons make you question that. i wish i was closer because i'd quit my job and K and A could play all day together. i hope you find someone better suited to yours and Annika's needs.

luvbug00 replied: When I worked in daycare we took BF babies of course but for us the BF babies had a hard time ajusting with the switch to bottles. We stuck it out because we loved the kids but we too have facilites arround here who are not willing to take it on. now I'm not sure if your child is going threw this.
I Also wonder to myself if she just doesn't want to put forth the effort of helping your baby ajust to her new surroundings and I think it's better your daughter isn't there.





I'm sure you weren't trying to start somthing but as a mom who fomula feed I did take some offence to this statement. just so ya know.

holley79 replied:

Fortunately this is not the issue because she takes the bottle just fine. I did read where Kelly said something about the BM handling issue. I could have handled the CC place saying something to this effect then the attachment issue.

Thank you all for your vote of confidence. I am trying to get paperwork caught up this morning so I can make some phone calls. I already told my LT I was going to have to leave early one day this week to check out a few places. Thank goodness he's ok with this. If it gets to the point where it's going to cost me more to come to work then we are looking at me staying home. If I stay home then I will be keeping my sister's little one after the first of the year. I'm seriously thinking about resigning at the end of the year and taking care of my niece and Annika. We will only have 5 more months of CS at that time so that will make up for what little I'm bring home now after everything.

It's just so frustrating. I want to be home with my daughter but right now (finacially) I can't do it.

C&K*s Mommie replied:
It will all work out in time.

JP&KJMOM replied: I am so sorry you are having such a rough time. But just know that it has nothing to do with you or your parenting skills. You are a great mom to a beautiful princess and don't think anything else. Good luck with finding someone to have the priveledge of keeping Annika.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
As a childcare provider and teacher, former childcare director, and current childcare owner, I have NEVER heard of such a crazy thing!!! I've dealt with tons of breastfed babies and I have had more issues with others than those who have been breastfed. Being breastfed or bottle/formula fed has nothing to do with seperation anxiety. Usually the causes of these situations are either the child is never left along to play or always held, they are going through a tramatic time (being seperated for too long of periods, etc.), or the infant just for some reason isn't connecting to the provider...these are some examples. NONE of it has to do with the way a child is being fed.

I think that center needs to do some more research and someone needs to investigate for discrimination. Tisk tisk.

Perhaps Annika just doesn't like her? Is she always frustrated with her? If she is, babies can sense it. Tanner had a daycare teacher (he was colicy) who was always frustrated with him because he would always cry. He could sense she was always tense. She just didn't like children, period. Luckily she was soon fired for forcefeeding an infant (a now current daycare child of mine). Kids just know!!!

holley79 replied: Jennie, even if Annika wasn't BF and a DCC told me this there is no way I would chose that place.

I think Annika's biggest problem is she get bored easily, she wants to be mobile and she does look into getting into things. I cleaned carpets all weekend (well when I wasn't with Bri and Nicole ) and she self entertained.

I think Annika just needs to be able to stay some place long enough to get use to where she is at. She's not a bad baby she just likes to have attention when she wants attention and to be left alone when she wants to be left alone.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Sounds like her and the daycare provider just weren't good matches possibly? It happens. It is probably for the best. If the provider can't have the patience with her, then she deserves someone who does. Hopefully you can find someone who will connect with her. At this age it's so important.

After reading more posts, I am outraged that there are other centers that wont take BF babies. I just can't understand it I guess. I can't think of a single center or daycare provider that has such a policy around here. Is this a new thing sweeping the nation or what? Will they allow a child who is BF at home but takes bottles of formula at the center? I've just never heard of such a silly thing before.

holley79 replied:
Totally floored me also. Annika takes a bottle just fine so that is not an issue. The center I spoke with said it was because they have too strong a bond with the mother and they just didn't have the staff/ means to compensate for that. I can understand what Kelly was saying about the bodily fluids. I can see that. But just to no take a child to not take a child is just insane.