BTDT moms- need advice about weaning

jcc64 wrote: OK, guys, I've finally thrown down the gauntlet. I've decided it's time for Corey to wean (she was 2 in Sept). While the idea of child led weaning is appealing from the child's perspective, and while I do still treasure our time together, I think Steve and I need more alone time as a couple and this is a MAJOR obstacle. I see no other way around it, and I'm ready for the next step.
I need advice on exactly how to stop. The boys self weaned, and I don't remember any discomfort. I know you're supposed to only express enough milk to make yourself comfortable. So, what happens to the milk that's building up in my very sore boobies? Coach me guys.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I'm sorry I have no advice. Just wanted to offer some ((((HUGS)))). I hope it goes well.

amynicole21 replied: Cabbage leaves? I've never tried them, but I've been told they work wonders if you stick them in your bra. It's been over a week since I last nursed Sophia, and while they might be a bit fuller than usual, I'm not having any soreness or other issues.

How often is Corey nursing, and how much do you think she's getting? I don't think Sophia got much the last few months because it was very rare that I would get full no matter how long it had been since she last nursed. Are you still filling up after a day away from her?

Have you decided to cut her off, or cut down the amount of time or sessions with her? I ended up just cutting S off, and she's done ok. No fits, no fussing. I just offer her a glass of milk when she asks and snuggle her for a few seconds. So much easier than I expected it to be.

Good luck, and hang in there! It most likely won't be as difficult as you think.

Jamison'smama replied: Although self-led weaning was what I had in mind--we kind of did a combination of sorts---lots of distraction!! We were able to get rid of the first-thing-in-the-morning session the easiest (which surprised me). She would wake up and we would go straight downstairs and have breakfast then start the day---no real trauma invloved. The nights were ABSOLUTELY the hardest--actually we drove Jamison around until she fell asleep several nights in a row instead of the usual nurse-to-sleep routine. Also, I did not sleep with her for a while to decrease the middle of the night nursings.

Edited to add that I left the milk in there--but I was pregnant so my amount would be less significant.

What happens if you don't sleep with her---just leaving her with DH?

jcc64 replied: Well, I've been trying to cut down gradually for awhile. C's just nursing at night, but it's on demand all night long, which is why I'm cutting her off. I think at her age she should be sleeping through the night, and I believe she would if she wasn't lying next to an all you can eat 24 hr buffet, kwim?
I think I have a handle on how to deal with C's issues. My questions are more about the logistics of drying up the milk. It's now been almost 48 hours since she last nursed. I can go 24 hrs w/o filling up, but this is the longest I've gone and they are getting pretty hard. Do I just leave it all in there?

amynicole21 replied: I would leave it in unless you are REALLY uncomfortable, then pump off just enough to make yourself comfortable again. I wouldn't imagine it would last more than a day or so. And look into the cabbage leaves.

MomToMany replied: You have gotten some great advice. I can't really add more. I hope it works for you!

coasterqueen replied:
Well I wanted to child-led wean Kylie too and technically she did but TRUE child-led weaning does not happen if a child weans during pregnancy...even if they wean on their own accord which is what Kylie did. So technically I weaned her. Stupid I know but true. The reason why it's considered that is because the taste of the milk and the decrease in supply is what led Kylie to choose to wean...not just because she felt she was ready. I'm still fine with it because it wasn't traumatizing for her in any way.

When I got pg it wasn't very long afterward when she would start saying the milk tasted yucky and then later on she'd say "no milk". She would still ask every so often..sometimes going a week before asking again and every time I let her nurse which ended up in a quick suck and she was satisfied. Eventually she just didn't ask anymore. Actually she asked me last night after not asking for 1.5 months and I said she could "snuggle" if she wanted to..start to lift my shirt and she giggled and said "no mom". So we were both fine with that, lol.

I don't know how your little one sleeps but Kylie was on the all night buffet before that when it came to nursing. I had always thought she'd sleep through the night at this age if she stopped nursing. Well I was wrong. She has only slept 4 nights through the night total since I got pg in July. So nursing clearly was not the issue...it's the closeness of someone being there for her that I think she needs..it doesn't even have to be me it could be Dh. She just wakes up and wants someone there with her. We don't even have to be in bed with her she'd be fine with us sleeping on the floor....she just wants to know we are there. So don't count on weaning being the all-in-one answer for being able to have more time with your DH. You may have to be prepared for the CIO method if you are really counting on that time. Something my Dh and I aren't prepared for so we still deal with her not sleeping thru the night.

If you aren't feeling full just go with the flow, if you are feeling full just pump enough to take the fullness feeling away. Good luck!

jcc64 replied: Thanks Karen. I'm sure you're right about Corey and her night waking. But when I go away on business, it seems significant that she DOES sleep through the night, albeit with dh right next to her, which is fine with me. I don't mind the co-sleeping so much as I mind the waking up every 3-4 hrs to nurse. Gets in the way of our nocturnal gymnastics, if you kwim, no matter where we do it. And it REALLY interferes with our ability to get away for the night as a couple. Hopefully, this will be a start.

coasterqueen replied: Well I hope it works for you. I know when I had to be away on business Kylie would sleep really well for DH with him there. But she doesn't do well at other people's houses still. I've pretty much given up on her, lol. I'm banking on this next one being easier.

DansMom replied: I'm entering the same mindset and appreciate all the posts on this. Daniel in the last week has been sleeping through MOST nights, which is astonishing and new (by sleeping through I mean he doesn't want to nurse before 4:30 am), and in general he is asking for it less often. I don't every fill up anymore, although I can still feel milk let down about half the time he nurses---I don't honestly think he's getting much these days besides comfort. I'm thinking too that weaning is more appealing, and also his own bed within the next year... ? I'm conflicted, but I'm closer to thinking these are good things than I was even a month ago.

Good luck with this Jeanne! I'll be interested in how it goes for you and Corey.

MommyToAshley replied: Best of luck Jeanne.

I night weaned Ashley around 10 months. After she turned 15 months, Ashley gradually cut back on daytime nursing herself and was completely weaned by 17 months. She never asked to nurse again. I did feel full at times, but I was never really hurting. (Maybe because she gradually cut back) I never pumped and the milk dried up on it's own. As far as where it went, Good question. But, I agree with the others, I wouldn't pump unless you feel uncomfortable. HTH.

TANNER'S MOM replied: CABBAGE LEAVES!!!!!!!!!

I promise it works. I don't know why or how but it really helped me. I used them when my milk came in and when I was weaning. They were a god send.

I preferred mine slightly child in the fridge, and it took the soreness and swelling right ou.

jcc64 replied: Should be a comical night tonight, just me, my torpedo tits, and my cabbage leaves all alone in that king size bed.