Babyproofing: necessary or not? - sorta long

mysweetpeasWil&Wes wrote: I went to a birthday party yesterday at a friend's house and her neighbor came by with her almost 2 year old son. I overheard her telling another mom that she convinced my friend not to babyproof her house AT ALL because "it helps them learn faster"...I interupted, trying not to sound defensive and said "learn WHAT faster?" At first she didn't really have a clear answer...she just kept saying they "just learn faster in general". Then her response was that she thinks children learn faster when they're not restricted from things. And she said that parents who are so paranoid all the time (those who babyproof) restrict their children from learning. For example, her son started walking at 10 months and she believes it's because she didn't put gates on her stairs and therefore he could go up and down whenever he wanted. She thinks this is how he learned to walk. She was so proud that he could go face forward on his own. Well I didn't want to argue with her since we just met and it's really not my place, but this didn't make sense to me. I do agree that if they're confined all the time or restricted from moving around and exploring, well then yes, maybe they will learn less quicker than others, but IMO, children learn to walk on their own time and that it's very important to set limits in your home (ie. going up and down stairs, opening cabinets, etc). Sorry if that may sound critical, because babyproofing is really a personal choice I guess, but why would you take the risk of a child falling down stairs?

We have babyproofed the whole house...ESPECIALLY the stairs. We have gates on both the bottom AND the top. My FIL had a cousin who died at the age of four because she fell down stairs. I feel that I allow Wil to explore and I don't keep him confined in a playpen all day, but I really feel it's important to set limits. And I think that THAT is helping him to learn right from wrong, plus gain independance because I don't have to watch him every second. I do feel that it's important he learn to go up and down stairs eventually, but I'm going to be there every step of the way. And I certainly don't think that's going to teach him to walk any quicker. I guess I'm a paranoid mom in her opinion, but you know what, I'm okay with that!

Opinions??...without a debate please.

moped replied: Sure I will bite on this one because Tom and I argue about his all day long!

Ask her what the child would learn from falling down stairs or grabbing a knife or a hot frying pan or something? IMO, it is important to babyproof everything from stairs to cupboards (I leave one for Jack - plastics) and his bedroom drawers and stuff. That way they can play without you following their every move and wondering what they are getting into. I go upstairs with Jack and shut all doors and watch Oprah for a full hour and he is running the hallway and occassionally bringing me something to look at.............................

I know people that do not babyproof because it is inconvenient for the adults - and to each their own but if something is in their reach it is OUR fauly if they get hurt because it wasn't removed.

I know someone that leaves the laptop out on the couch all day and got mad because their child deleted everything - who's fault?????

I dont even have coffee tables right now because of 2 accidents in two days that resulted in a cut open lip and a nice black eye - I am certain Jack learned nothing from either

ian'smommy replied: I can agree with the 2 of you on this... What will they learn by hurting themselves? The babyproofing isn't there to hamper their learning but to keep them safe. I still use a babygate to block the kitchen, and Ian is 3 years old. He can get over it but it at least slows him down... lol
I block it off because there is kitty litter in the back porch. I don't need him getting sick. When I didn't have the gate up he went into the kitchen, got ahold of some india ink that my husband uses for art, and he got it in his mouth. I had to call poison control. Luckily it wasn't toxic. If it was, what would he have learned? And if he was poisoned was it worth the lesson?
My stairs are no longer blocked but even when they were he was always careful about going up and down them. He has fallen twice however. He was fooling around. But now at 3 he has the option to go to his room and play. The gate that was at the stairs was no longer keeping him out anyway and I preferred to take it away becuase if he did fall at some point, I wouldn't have wanted that gate in the way.
I don't know anyone who doesn't babyproof... The kids didn't develop any slower and they were safe.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Big time baby proofer here. As soon as Logan started moving on his own I plugged all the outlets and locked all the cabinets and our bathroom door is now shut at all times. (That is more to preserve the toilet paper. LOL) But Logan still gets to play with pots and spoons and plastic stuff. He loves playing in the newspaper recycling bin. He gets to explore his environment, pull up on chairs, peek out the screen door. And I don't think he is learning slowly.

kit_kats_mom replied: Well, here's my opinion on the subject. That lady is coo coo!

Katherine was walking at 9 mos but we had stair gates, plug protectors etc. I made it a point to not buy "sharp edged" furniture for the living room and I covered up the fire place with a chalkboard so she wouldn't get in there and eat ashes. I basically made the living room, totally baby proof. That way she could explore all she wanted and I could leave her there for a few mintues while I peed or whatever and not worry about her safety.

I do think that some people go overboard all at one time. For example, padding every hard edge in the house. How would a child learn not to bonk into things if it didnt hurt at all. KWIM? Buuuut, I'd rather they hit their heads on the rounded edge of a coffee table than the metal and glass ones I used to have. There is a time for everything and some kids don't need all of the stuff either. Why would you put doorknob handles to keep a kid from opening the door if the kid can't even walk yet?? LOL we invested in the TOT Lok cabinet locks but Katherine never ever showed any interest in opening a cabinet. Not once. Drawers? Yes, cabinets no.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Yeah, the lady was looking at Wil crawling and gave me that "is he walking yet" look. He will be 13 months next week. And Wil was playing around on the first step of the stairs while my DH watched him and her husband said to his son "here, show Wil how you do it". His son is two. Wil is reaching milestones regardless of how paranoid I am about babyproofing.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied:
Logan isn't walking and I refuse to get upset about it. He is slightly delayed in some milestones, but if I had surgery at 6 mos, I would probably be delayed too. I HATE that my child is better than yours thing that some people do. Each child is different and SPECIAL.

MyBlueEyedBabies replied: We absolutely baby proofed our house. Maybe not to the extent that a lot of people do but there is a gate at the top of the stairs, befor Matt learned how to go up and down safely there was one at the bottom also. I think the biggest thing is to let them explore and learn but do it when you are there to help them and keep them safe.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I agree with everyone here on this. I probably won't go pshyco baby proofing my house when Andrew starts moving around but I'll definitely put gates up by the stairs and plugs in the outlets - it's just common sense.

And the part about baby proofing hampering their learning is just plain crazy.

MomToMany replied: This is just my opinion.

Babyproofing is done to keep babies/toddlers/kids safe. I don't think it's inhibiting or preventing them from learning in any way. It's about keeping them SAFE. Imagine if that child fell down the stairs; would the mother call it a "learning experience"? What would that teach the child? It would probably make the child afraid to try new things and THAT would inhibit the child from learning.

I baby-proof as much as I can. I think it's the parents' job to keep their child(ren) safe. You can help your child learn by giving them safe places to let them explore and safe toys to play with.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied:
Very well said.

luvbug00 replied: WHAT!!! OH MY!! We baby proofed our stairs and our cabinits and outlets. And blocked off the kitchen and blocked the corners on the sharp tables. You can never be too safe! I hope her child doesn't burn, fall, cut or hurt themselves in any way! I went phyco with it!!

CantWait replied: We've babyproofed things like stairs, and the entrance to the kitchen (where cleaning supplies are kept), plug outlets, and that's pretty much about it. Drawers with CDs and movies are not locked up because it's not going to harm the baby. With Robbie we didn't baby proof anything at all, we lived in a tiny little apartment so there wasn't anything he could get into that we couldn't see. And let me tell you they both starting walking at the same age (10 months), there's no difference, what a rediculous thing to say

Hillbilly Housewife replied: ok - not to put fire inthe pan - but I can see what she MEANS. She probably just didn`t say it right.

I babyproofed my house - but my proffing isn`t exactly up to you guys` standards I don`t think.... lol Here`s what *I* did for our house.

We had a baby gate a few stairs up - since our stairs started, then angled to the left, we had the gate there, so there was about 4 steps that the kids could access.

We had a baby gate blocking off the kitchen area. The bathroom door was usually closed, with one of them knob covers that you have to squeeze on the rubber buttons to open it - dh and I had a hard tiem with it ourselves... lol We had one ont he door to the basement as well, and the 2 other bedrooms upstairs, as well as the bathroom.

The only door they could open, in other words, was their own bedroom door.

We didn`t have any exposed electrical outlets, so we didnt`bother with covering the hidden ones... (like behind the couch)

We had mahogany oval coffee tables - we left them there. We didn`t have little things on them, but there was a lamp on one of them, a plant on the other side table, and the kids didn`t play with them at all.

Ou living room / dining room was one big room, with the stairs to go upstairs in that room.

We let the kids play with whatever they wanted (toys) in the living room - and the things we didnt`want them to touch (like the tv buttons, the entertainment unit cupborad doors, the fireplace) we let them know they weren`t allowed to touch.

We never ran to them when they fell... so they didnt`become cry-babies - now they can fal off the couch while they`re playing or something... and they`ll just look stunned for a second. We know that if they cry when hurt, it`s because something really hurt as opposed to crying because they`re stunned at a fall.

They were always allowed to go on the 4 stairs... of course, we were right there with them. We wouldn`t let them tumble to the ground - but if they fell back one step, no big deal - they`ll learn. It`s not hurting them... so why not?

Zach was walking at around 9 months, and Emilie was walking around 7 1/2 months.

Sure - they tripped sometimes on toys that were left lying around, but who hasn`t?

Sure - they`ve picked up something off the ground that shouldn`t have been there and put it in their mouth - is it dangerous? germs? No more than the germs on their toes or their hands from crawing around when they`d put THEM in their mouth...

I didn't go overboard with the babyproofing. Babies and children adapt to their environment, it`s true. I`m sure that`s what the lady meant - not that by hurting themselves they will learn. Although - I`ve let the kids touch really cold things before, too see why I say no - as well as warm things (not hot to burn or anything), and they dont`touch it again. They see that it can hurt - and maybe it is hot for them, but it`s definitely not hot enough to really hurt - and that I don`t want them to touch, becuse it can hurt.

It`s really funny - actually - when I give the kids hot chocolate or hot food - they see steam when I first make it - and even EMilie (21 months old) tells me to blow on it because it`s hot and can hurt. (bow it mommy, it`s hot and can bobo)

Now I have plants on my coffee tables (square wood and glass), I have more fancy things in my entertainment unit, they have breakables in their rooms on their dressers. I can leave some coins in a little bowl on my counter, and they won`t touch it, because it`s not THEIR money. They have their piggy banks.

I don`t have anything toxic in my bottom cabinets (unless you count lipstick toxic) that they can get into. They don`t go into my bathroom on their own, or at least without telling us they`re going in there to pee or whatever, and `we`ll stand outside the half-open door.

They don`t go into our bedroom, because that;s mommy and daddy`s room. No toys allowed.

They don`t go into the computer room unless they ask - and then we`re with them, to paly a computer game.

I don`t have any baby proof stuff around my house anymore - we don`t need it. The kids only play in their rooms, and there is nothing in their rooms really that they can get hurt on, other than falling off their bed, their slide, their horsey, or pinching their fingers in the doors. Which is why the rule is, when playing in the rooms, doors stay OPEN.

I do dbelive that kids need to experience somet hings in order to learn from them... however not htings that can really hurt them. A bruis from falling down on the floor when trying to walk is different than a burn from a cup of hot coffee left on the table. I would never leave a hot liquid out on the table - but then again, some people leave their kids alone in a room with hurtful objects for several minutes at a time, no supervision - one isn`t necessarily better than the other.

You can`t possibly watch all children for every second... you need to pee too, know what I mean?

But - if all the real dangers are gone - and falling 2 steps down isn`t REALLY a danger, seriously, unless it`s like concrete or something on the floor - there isn`t a need to be psycho about baby-proofing.

I`m not trying to start a debate - this is just what I`ve done - I`m not trying to convince anyone to do this, or otherwise. It`s just muy opinion!!

PrairieMom replied: I not only baby proofed MY house, but I baby proof other places that we stay.
Last year we went on a family vacation for a week and I brought plug outlet covers with me. It's just not worth the risk IMO. I don't go crazy about it tho. I am really a "get up and brush it off" kind of mommy.

ChildSafetySpecialists replied: The level in which someone babyproofs, I have found is individual. Not babyproofing at all though, can pose serious hazards, and worse. My job is to cover all possibilities, and bring awareness about potential hazards in the home. My DD for instance needed fort knox as she was inherently curious and adventurous! Other parents may not find a need for such extremes. You can check out our babyproofing checklist at our website www.safe4mychild.com Also if you or anyone you know has a "problem" area and they need help with deciding how to babyproof it, send me an email, and I will send you some ideas.

JAYMESMOM replied: I am very laid back baby-proofer but agree that some things are needed. Any outlets visibly accesible are covered but the ones behind couches or entertainment centers or up high are not.

We ahve locks on the cupboards but not on doors or drawers. We have no stairs so I don't have to worry about that. But my in-laws do and there has never been a gate at the top or bottom.

I have a cedar chest in the middle of my living room and right now she does have a bruise from horsing around on the couch. She fell once and I told her to stop well she did it again and got knocked. She hasn't done it since.

Jayme has never been confined to a playpen unless sleeping. She has had free roam of the house - minus the bathroom. She started walking around 8 months. She climbed stairs before a year. I think it depends on how confined your child is more than how baby-proofed.

Boys r us replied: I did not baby proof my home either time..with the exception of moving cleaners out of reach.

I am one of those who I guess believes everything can teach a lesson. I'm not overly protective, I want them to learn and explore. I didn't put up my breakables, yet taught them to be gentle or listen when I say "please don't touch". Now when we're at other people's houses who don't have kids, therefore don't have their house babyproofed, it's not a nightmare for me or the hostess!

I didn't babygate either set of stairs going up but instead sat behind them as their little bums decided they were ready tochallenge the stair case..b/c I wanted them to learn how to master the stairs, not b/c I really cared to have them climbing up them or down them all day, but rather b/c I don't want the one time I forgot to gate them to be the time I'm cooking or in the bathroom and they start up the stairs and have no idea how to do it.

That's my take on it. I personally don't think there is any need to babyproof..I think that each new challenge a baby encounters can be used as a valuable learning experience and if the parent is actively involved, there poses no danger.

Boys r us replied: ohh we do have plug protectors..but that's just common sense!

JAYMESMOM replied: Oh yeah as far as breakables - they are all in their spots - I feel it helps to teach them what is not theirs and what is theirs. Now when I go to others homes it does help that she understands when I let her know it isnt hers.


On a side note - my husband moved the stuff around when we got our satellite installed last week well I caught Jayme with my curio door open touching stuff. Which is very odd. I told her to shut it and don't touch mommy's stuff. She said "No momma clean" He had put one of my candle holders that goes by the tv in the curio cabinet and she was putting it back where it belonged. Once we did that she shut the door and went on her way.

Too bad daddy or mommy wasn't that observant.

Debra replied: I'm with Jaymesmom & Zen Mommy.

We babyproofed some but not as much as others. We put a gate at the top & bottom of our stairs when we lived in the townhouse & also blocked the kitchen. We've always kept the doors to the bedrooms/bathrooms closed & still do & the kids are 6 & almost 4. lol

We never had the outlet plugs but the kids were always in our sight & never went for them.

We kept some collectibles down but nothing that important.

We never got rid of our coffee or end tables. Not because we wanted the kids to get hurt but we also knew that at some point, our children will get hurt. We can not protect them from everything but will do what we can to an extent. Sometimes I want to get rid of the coffee table because as an adult I still run into it! lol

I agree that she probably just didn't word what she wanted to say in a more understanding way.

And I also agree that we would babyproof to an extent but not to the point of what I felt was overboard. We all have our own comfort levels & do things that will make us feel our children are safe.