Big Girl Bed - Sleeping alone in a big bed

amf11214 wrote: Our 2 year old has started to sleep in a twin bed. We made the mistake of laying with her until she went to sleep to get her used to the bed. Now she won't go to sleep without one of us. How do I break her out of this? If I leave the bed, she gets out, or she cries so hard it breaks our hearts and we give in. Any advice?

ammommy replied: Have you tried laying on the floor next to her bed? Then you can slowly creep out when she falls asleep.

atlantamomof2 replied: You might try to calm her by letting her know you'll be nearby if she needs you (Maybe just outside the door, reading a book or something-but not in her room) Also, you could try letting her take a few stuffed animals to bed with her as a reaplacement for you (but maybe not tell her that that's the reason). What about a chart that she could put a sticker on in the morning if she goes to sleep by herself the night before? Kids love positive reinforcement! Even if though there's no reward at the end of it, my DD loves just the putting stickers up!

Good luck!

Valerie

Kolesmom replied: Hello. We just switched Kole (21 months) to a toddler bed Saturday. Saturday night I sat on the edge of the bed until he went to sleep. Sunday, I told him I had to go and check on Sasha (our dog) and that I would be right back. I waited about 5 minutes and went back. He was sound asleep and slept through the night. I wish you luck.

Abbie replied: JUST MAKE HER KNOW WHOSE BOSS . . . SHE'S JUST BEING MANIPULATIVE. SHE'LL LEARN SOON ENOUGH

Alice replied: Does she nap?? Maybe you could start there, when there's daylight and it's not so scary. Read her a story, play some classical music, whatever it takes.

Or, a different plan: take one afternoon and play in and on her bed. Play dolls and do puzzles and whatever you can think of, all sitting on her bed. I bet it isn't so intimidating once she's had fun on it.

coasterqueen replied: I can totally sympathize with you on this subject, I've been there and am still kinda going through it. I don't think showing her who's boss is really a good technique since it sounds like there may be an underlying problem to the entire situation .

First off, I do not think you made it a "bad habit" by sleeping with your child. I despise the word habit because comforting your child in a way they need to be comforted is not making a "habit" .

I co-slept with my DD for a long time, all the way up until she weaned at 24 months. It's hard not to co-sleep with them when you are nursing for sure, lol.

Anyways, before I got pg Kylie would fall asleep in her big girl bed with me or Dh laying there with her. Then we'd sneak out of the room and she would sleep 4 to 6 hours in there all by herself. When she'd wake she'd get scared and one of us would finish the night in there with her. Seemed to work fine for us.

Then I got pg and all of a sudden she wouldn't sleep 10 minutes in there by herself. We later discovered that she thought there were monsters in her room and that's why she wouldn't sleep in there by herself. She didn't even care if you slept on the floor she just wanted us in there and if she woke up and we weren't there she'd freak out.

That was starting to take a toll on us so we bought a little Dora The Explorer sofa bed for her and put it next to our bed. She's slept every night all the way through the night since and that's been about since January 1st.

We tried everything we could to exterminate those monsters from her bedroom but she won't have it. We figure when she's ready she WILL sleep in there by herself.

I can totally understand why children are scared to sleep in a big bed by themselves. I guess I'd say if the situation is not working for you try sleeping on the floor so you can sneak out better. If that doesn't work you just need to do trial and error til you find something that works for your family. But I suggest sitting down with your DH and finding out exactly what you can handle as far as a sleeping situation and what you can't. THat will make finding a solution that works for you much better.

((HUGS))

Alice replied: Karen, my friend's daughter also had a room that was inhabited by monsters. She tried a few things, but here are the two that eventually worked:

1) She filled a spray bottle with water and told her daughter to spray it around her bed (or something similar, I forget the details.) Everyone knows that monsters are afraid of water.

2) She gave her daughter a small flashlight to use when she was frightened. Everyone also knows that monsters are also afraid of light.

I'm pretty sure that these strategies were suggested by her brother, the psychologist. I think he said that telling her there was no such thing wouldn't work when she was so sure there were monsters. So they tackled the problem as one of how to get rid of the monsters, not how to convince Mary that the monsters don't exist.

Anyway, for what it's worth, it worked.

coasterqueen replied:
Alice,

Thanks. I actually designed an aerosol spray bottle especially as "monster spray" to get rid of them....she didn't buy it. I can't believe I went through the trouble of designing a piece of paper and glueing it on the bottle.

She also has a nightlight on in there for that very reason, but I honestly can't say I've tried the flashlight.

We tried to put her in there the other night after not doing so for a month or so and she woke up within 10 minutes. I think we'll give it some more time and then I'll try the flashlight thing.

We've even had her room carpet cleaned letting her know it was "ridding of the monsters" and that didn't work.

She's a handful.

loveydad replied: HTH is she being manipulative!? She's a small child! She may be scared she may just want mommy to sleep with her. I have no real advice but I'd say don't just ignore her and say she's manupilating you - I don't think she is. I think she wants mommy by her side and that's a very sweet thing.

Josie83 replied:
ITA> And it souns like you've had some good advice. All little children want their mummy/daddy sometimes, its perfectly natural. I love the idea of the monster spray, btw!! xx

Jamison'smama replied:
THis was us exactly--a couple of things we have tried is "sitting" by her in the bed instead of laying next to her, then we progressed to sitting on the floor--finally we did the "be right back" technique where we would leave the room for a second, come back and sit on the floor, leave again for a little longer--you get the idea--eventually she'd go to sleep. We did have to let her know that she had to stay in bed or we would stay outside the door until she got back in bed---THis was working for us until the kids got sick and now she is back in bed with my DH and I am sleeping with a sick 6 week old.