Blended families...

kimberley wrote: how do you and your spouse deal with "the ex"?

Jamie is an absolute SAINT the way he puts up with my ex considering he rents our basement. after all the lousy things my ex does on a constant basis (lives like a pig, leaves garbage for Jamie to take out, disappointing the boys, even had a woman upstairs in our bed when we were away ) Jamie still maintains control when i want to strangle him! sometimes he has to remind ME that we are doing this for the boys and hope they will see him for who he is eventually. plus the extra money helps even though it isn't much. just wondering if i am the only one having difficulty dealing with an ex. if i had it my way, Jamie would adopt my boys and their dad would leave the country!

favre4fan replied: Oh my that is a lot to put up with. that is pretty admirable of him to do that. Iain is great with the ex , hes never going to go away so we just try and make the best of it. Even though the ex irritates the crap out of me i just won't show it!!

MomToMany replied: DH doesn't have to deal with my X, thank goodness, or he'd smack him good! He lives 3 hours away.

Jamie, you're a saint for putting up with that!

God, I can't imagine the X renting out the basement! I could never deal with that!

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Kimberly I had no idea your ex lived in your basement!! Jaime is a saint!

kit_kats_mom replied: Well, I never married my EX (thank god!!) but I was engaged to him and we were together for 7 years. Woody is very nice to him and they run into each other occasionally since he owns a store in the mall. Woody actually told "T" that we were pregnant again. I thought that was pretty funny LOL Woody's convinced (along with everyone else on the planet) that my ex is gay...really he isn't . He is a Metrosexual though and he sure does look gay! LOL

His ex wife lives far away and I've only met her once. She's kind of wierd....bouncing around from being super religious and going on missions to doing really wacky things. The last time they talked, she told him that she had pierced a portion of her "female parts' and was experimenting with women. WTF?

Maddie&EthansMom replied:

Is this the one that abused you, yes? Woody is a saint, too. DH could never be so kind to ANY of my ex boyfriends.

jolene555 replied: well, all i have are ex-boyfriends, and barry made me promise not to run them over should i see them again.

barry's ex-wife is deceased, his long time on/off again gf is now his best friend, and the mother of his son gave up her rights at his birth. so i suppose the only ex to deal with his his friend, and she and i are so close now that i trust her more than barry most of the time.

kimberley replied: we were never married either. Jamie and i have the same attitude about dealing with him. it just gets hard sometimes. for the most part, Jamie is polite for the boys' sake but gets upset because he has been more of a dad to the boys than he has. it is sad really. Jamie is close friends with a girl he dated in high school. she is really nice.

mama3x replied: Neither of us really has any contact - visual, audial, whatever - with my ex and with his.

I let DS handle most issues with my ex unless it's unreasonable then I lay into my ex. He used to abuse me, tried to kill me and stalked me after our divorce so needless to say, I keep my distance. 'Cause I just may accidentally whack him unconscious. DH now would have a hard time facing my ex without strangling him.

As for DH's ex...we never see her so that's a good thing because she really screwed him over and I'd love to whack her too.

Ah exs bring out the best in some of us...

favre4fan replied: [He used to abuse me, tried to kill me and stalked me after our divorce so needless to say, I keep my distance. 'Cause I just may accidentally whack him unconscious]

I hate to hear that because I had one of those kind of exes too.

TANNER'S MOM replied: I can't imagine living next door , above or underneath mine or my husband ex. That would be insane for us.

It is best if we only talk about the children and go on with our lives. We didn't communicaite while we were married and try to do as little as possible now. I actually try to talk to my ex's girlfriend to resolve any issues I have and that works out well.

But I would like to say that we have a very blended family. Two of mine, one of his and one of ours. And that is the #1 reason I love my husband. He has always treated my kids like they were his. No difference and No question. Sometimes I even have to tell him to lay off he is favoring them. But in the same token I have been with him since his little girl was 2, and she is my heart. Just as much my baby as anything, I have wiped that butt and stayed with her when she was sick. Kissed her BOO BOO's. God, I love that girl. SHe is 11 now. And so darn pretty. I am very proud for her to call me her super mom. She used to call MOm, when she was little. As she got older she felt like that was betraying her mom. So she kinda has knicked named me super....which means super mom instead of step mom.

darrylswifeskylersmom replied: Jamie your soo understanding..I wouldnt be!
I would never let darryls ex live in our basment I would end up
getting in a fight with her!

redchief replied: In all honesty; I could not do it.

~KARA~ replied: My dh would kill my ex if give the chance. I was married to my ex for almost 5 years, and abused all 5 of it. My oldest dd is my ex's dd.
My ex actually told my dd that he saw my dh ands I out and my dh beat the sh*t out of him. Ok had my dh touched my ex he would be dead! I wish he were cause my life would alot better.

Boys r us replied: Well, we never had to deal with my ex until the last year when he decided he remembered he had a son..the same son he'd forgotten about both physically and financially for 7 years!

I have absolutely no respect for the jerk at all, but Rick is really good at keeping me level headed when it comes to making decisions concerning he and Tanner..so we actually have all been doing great! He's been coming to get Tanner for about 7 hours every other weekend as agreed upon(first he only had court ordered 1hr a week supervised visitation) and he's finally started paying his child support and I have no desire to be his best bud and hang out..but I can see that he is making a true and constant effort to be a part of Tan's life now and I accept that!