Boy's and Clothes

Chrisport wrote: Am I out of line or what. Let me explain. My son is 12, almost 13 and skinny, maybe 4-11 -100 pounds. Im soooo fed up with the clothes , the baggies and stuff that last week I went out and bought him a nice pair of shorts, not baggies but perma pressed shorts tailored above the knee etc. Yes ladfes I admit I got him a pair of kneesox that matched his sport coat and on Sunday we went to a nice restaurant, just the two of us. I got all dressed and had him wear a shirt, tie dark blue sportcoat, the beige shorts and dark blue kneesox. Well he just about died, but I insisted. I wanted him to look nice and no by nice I don't mean like an old man-he's a boy. (No I didn't tell him the kneesox were girls, I couldnt find them for boys, but you cant really tell) Was I wrong. He looked so sweet and once we got there he got along fine.

jcc64 replied: I have a son the same age, and I have to say I disagree with what you did. At this age, I feel kids have a right to assert a certain amount of autonomy about their own appearance, within the confines of what is appropriate for the occasion. When it's important that my son look "neat", it is entirely possible that he do so without humiliating him with clothes he is embarassed to wear.
You may have won this battle, but you'll lose the war. Trust me, I went through this with my own parents, and the more they made an issue of my clothing choices, the more I pushed back, resented, and turned away from them.

Chrisport replied: Thanks for your reply. I think I know what you are saying. That's why Im having some second thoughts about it. At the same time, though, after we were at the restaurant for a while he seemed to "forget about it." So, I guess I was just hoping that maybe it was something he could get used too.
We're going to HAwaii next month, just my son and I, and Id planned on packing his outfit I also have whilte kneesox that I think would go great, but maybe Ill telk to him a little more about it. Thanks again
Chris

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
OMG - if my parents did that to me, I'd embarass them so much they'd take me home right away!!!!


I have to agree with Jeanne that at that age, they really do care what they look like. Maybe he got "over it" becaues he realized that no-one he knoew was around?

In any case..... it's your choice of course, but I would be mad as heck if my parents forced me to wear certain things at 12 years old....

Chrisport replied: Thanks again both of you - I guess opinion is against me so far!! I promise too I'll spell better! I meant to say white not whilte kneesox!
Ok, I know I shouldn't force and you're probably right, no one knew him at the restaurant. So, my question is this. I admit Im silly and all but he looks adorable. So...without pushing him too hard, I would love to have him wear the outfit at least once for me in Hawaii. No one there knows us and I would be sure it was only for dinner at a nicer place. I know short pants and kneesox with a coat and tie isn't "usual" but he looked so sweet! I was thinking the white kneesox more because of the heat, cooler but dressy. Am I pushing too hard?

ediep replied: my nephew is that age and he wouldn't ever wear that. he would refuse to go, I'm sure. I understand that you want him to look nice, but I don't think I'd even make my 2 year old wear knee socks, he'd definately be wearing pants with an outfit like that especially out to dinner

Chrisport replied: LOL Im losing here! LOL Is anyone going to support me!!

MommyToAshley replied: Sorry, I have to agree with the others.

But, I am glad that you are having second thoughts about it and that you have decided to talk to him about it. I hope you decide not to pack the outfit when you go to Hawaii.... and I really do hope you have that talk with him.

Now, I do agree with setting limits not allowing certain clothing that is inappropriate. I know that jeans hanging half-way down and showing their underwear is in style right now, but I would never let a child or teenager wear that. I think it is ok to enforce certain limits, but I don't think you should force a certain style on him that would embarrass him.

I am glad that you are open-minded here and have considered other opinions.

ammommy replied: Can you do the outfit without the kneesocks? Maybe with a nice pair of boatshoes without socks so that he can still look fashionable? Honestly, when you described the outfit, it made me think of the things they wore way back when in England...in say, the 1800's or so
I can understand that you are fed up with the baggy, saggy sloppy look (I'm praying that it's long gone by the time Alec is into that type of fashion), but could you find a happy medium?

loveydad replied: okay you got to be joking. Knee socks?

No let him chose what he waears as long as it's not really innapropriate to you. My son wears jeans and a tshirt he's never even OWNED kneesocks.

loveydad replied: Yeah but even if the people didn't know him they'd be making fun. Sorry to say this but my OWN Child would be making fun . That's too out of date for him to wear. I mean it's a bad idea.

Chrisport replied: Wow Quite a few replies. Well, first thank you everyone. Sexymomma I guess the problem I have is that since we'd be going to a nice restaurant, I think he'd need to wear socks of some kind. (OK, I admit I think the kneesox are sweet!) He could wear the blue blazer with a shirt and tie and with white perma press shorts maybe. I got him beige black and white-There all about 8 inches or so above the knee -I had them hemmed. WOuld the white kneesox work then or do you still think it would be a problem? SShort white ones?

kit_kats_mom replied: Most people don't even wear shoes in Hawaii. It's considered very dressy if you are wearing a nice pair of flip flops without blow outs. LOL I don't think I even owned a pair of socks when I lived there and I was 9-12 years old.

Seriously, he'd look like a freak in HI & probably come after you while you are asleep. Hawaii is all about casual laid back comfort. A pair of kakhi pants, leather sandals, and a nice button up top with the first few buttons open would be fine. Pick up an aloha shirt while you are there.

loveydad replied: Dude seriously you need to give up on this blazer and nice clothes idea. He's 12! Let him wear what he wants!! DOn't make something as stupid as clothing cause a huge fight with you guys. HE's not your little toddler to dress up in cute outfits anymore he's a big boy and I'm srory but you have to let him dress (appropriately) but in the way he likes.

Chrisport replied: Good morning,
Thanks everyone, again.Ill try to keep checking during the day for comments.
Chris

MomToMany replied: I agree with the others. I have an 11 year old, and I'd NEVER make him wear something like that! He would be so humiliated!! Let him wear what he wants (within limits of course). He's too old to be dressed up like a little baby.

gr33n3y3z replied: My boys like to wear Nice clothes but they fit loose if you know what I mean
If I ever did that OMG lol
Now a suit they get those to fit them to a tee
But I'm glad it worked out for you this time.

texasp3 replied: I have an almost 16 year old who would love me if I would buy him a tux so that he could wear it to school! He loves nice clothes - total clothes horse - and has one of those lean bodies on which EVERYTHING hangs perfectly. He would KILL ME if I put him in the outfits you're describing. He is taller than me and stronger than me, and I promise you, we would NOT leave the house together. And, by the way, he is a well behaved, respectful teenager (no, really, honest... they do exist). Oh, and he does wear shorts and kneesocks in public... on the soccer field!

Regarding kids and clothes in general... short of a wedding or funeral or following the school's clothing guidelines, I say let them wear what they want. Ditto for hair, by the way, which explains why Michael looks like Cousin It these days. Clothes and hair are just not worth fighting about... laughing about? Sure.

Chrisport replied: Ok, well it looks like the majority is against me! Oh I have to admit Im still fishing for someone out there to say its OK. What if I ask and not insist lol? Well just trying. Thanks again though, I am really surprised by the number who responded and that's great.

Chris

ammommy replied: Asking him is totally different than insisting. If you can get him to go along with it, go for it
As for the sock thing, Hawaii is pretty casual so you could get away with no socks.

Chrisport replied: Ok, Il try asking. But like I mentioned earlier, I really really would love for him to wear the kneesox as well lol so Ill start with the whole outfit and negotiate! lol
Chris

mckayleesmom replied: Im with the others...the outfit you described reminds me of what they were wearing in the movie..LORD OF THE FLIES.....I think you need to give up the idea of knee socks already...you are living in a fantasy world if you think that is cute on a 12 year old.

mckayleesmom replied: PS...the fact that you had to find the knee socks in the girls section should have tipped you off on todays youth fashion. Do you really want your son to end up in therapy over knee socks his mommy made him wear when he was 12? Also...I don't think that shorts and a sports jacket are all to hip either...personally I think it looks silly.

Boys r us replied: okay, I don't mean to sound rude here, but my first thought and actually the only one I can even begin to comprahend is that you are joking around with us! Knee socks? Again, I'm not intending to be rude, but the reason you can find knee socks for boys and were forced to buy girl's socks is because they don't make them for boys, b/c the only males I can recall wearing knee socks are the ones in the pictures I've seen of George washington and Thomas Jefferson in their knickers and knee socks. I'm not sure where this idea came to you from but I really think it's a horrible idea to force your son to dress like that.

Boys r us replied: This is my 8 year old son all dressed up!!! Which he LOVED!

Chrisport replied: Wow, feel like Im being roasted! Honestly though, I wasn't kidding, I really do think it is a very nice way for a boy his age to dress. But, I understand I am definitely in the minority.

Chrisport replied: Sorry, we had a bout of the flu here for a couple of days, but Ok, Ill just drop the subject. Happy now?

gr33n3y3z replied: I hope everyone is feeling much better now
We've been having any where between 8 and 10 kids going home a day at our school I told my boss I better not get it lol

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
You know I read recently that somewhere... (I'd have to get the article back somehow) they are thinking of making it a public offense to show your underwear in public - so that fashion will soon be obsolete....

Here it is:

http://gnn.tv/headlines/1083/Underwear_Pol...n_Low_Cut_Pants

It was VIrginia, and they took back their bill, it was causing them too much embarassment!!

jodiec1973 replied: I have a thirteen year old who would have died if I had made him wear that. It is okay to want him to look nice but the knee socks might be a little extreme.

texasp3 replied:
LOL!! Oh that's too funny.... I think all they would end up with is a problem enforcing something like that. As if kids are going to stop wearing their pants around their knees just because it's a "public offense." *chuckle*

Frankly, I'd rather see their underwear than what their underwear covers! Although I usually have this overwhelming urge to walk up behind them and yank their pants up. I actually find myself laughing out loud when I go to pick Michael up from school in the afternoons... some of the boys wear their pants SO low that they have difficulty walking because the crotch is between their knees... they look like penguins! It's a scream!!

loveydad replied: *laughing* yeah. The only time I see my son's butt is becuase his pants don't fit! Luckily or us all he wears a belt.

jolene555 replied: WOW! i'm sorry that i've been away for a while and missed this post. my prayers are with your son as he's destined to be beat up in the near future. you've obviously not realized that your son is not your dress-up-doll. how old are you??? this sounds dreadfully close to a style my own mother tried to inflict upon me, but i was six, and she wasn't so insistant.

why would you want to make a fool of your own son?? making him to resemble the von trap boys is not going to help anyone.

MomToMany replied: LOL !!!! Jo, that is TOO funny!! But the sad thing is it's TRUE!

Maddie&EthansMom replied: You people are BRUTAL! I think this is a very European style. I can't imagine seeing a 12 year old wearing it over here, but for God's sake Prince Charles wears a kilt!! How old is he??? His sons (William and Harry) DO wear things of this nature and I happen to think it would be cute on my son, granted he is only one.

Chris, I think if your son objects to this then you shouldn't pressure him to wear it. You may have some control issues, here. There are several different ways to dress him so he will look handsome and mature.

Chrisport replied: Thank you so much Maddie&EthansMom. No I won't force the issue, but maybe I can convince him. But, no, no forcing I agree.
Thanks again
Chris

3forme replied: My son is tha same age as yours. Kevin would absolutely die if I made him wear something like that. I figure if clothes and hair are the ONLY battles I am not going to fight them. He can wear pretty much whatever he wants as long as he is clean. Now, if his grades started going down, and he was into drugs or alcohol, I might pull the clothing into that battle (peers, wearing weird clothes, etc.). I have to agree with the majority of the things I have read. You were not right in making him wear that. He is on the threshold of being a teenager and you seem to be wanting him to dress like he is four. Give in, give him leeway on clothing. Like I said, if that is your only battle, don't fight it. By the way, Kevin's new thing is dyeing his hair with the funky colored gels. He has about 4 different colors. I know it is a phase. And it may be a little of "let's see if mom will wig out?" So I figure, I will ignore it, let him do it, and soon it will pass.

Just my

Chrisport replied: Hi 3forme
Oh, I don't think he'd die from dressing as I suggested, but Ok, I will ask, not force Jason for our dinner.
Chris

MomToJade&Jordan replied: Aloha Chris. I just wanted to let you know that I live in Hawaii. It's actually quite rare to see someone wearing socks out here. Like others have said before most people wear sandals or flip flops. My own child doesn't wear socks, but sandals. It can get rather warm here and socks can make it a bit hot. I think the only time I wear socks is when I put my tennis shoes on and that is pretty rare as well. You are going to find that there is a very laid back attitude out here. I hope that you enjoy your visit to the islands. They really are a fantastic place to be.

Chrisport replied: Thank you Carrie, we're looking forward to our trip. Actually, Ive no doubt we' ll both be very casual on the trip, I've just been talking about one "special" or more "dressy" dinner that Id like to do while we're there. But, Ill ask not force the issue. Thanks again.

GavinsMommy replied: I had the same thought as Nichole. Seemed like a joke...

If it's not a joke...and please don't take this the wrong way, I'm not trying to be hostile at all...then I think what you're doing is potentially damaging. It's 2005! These days kids get beat up for dressing like that. Kneesox? That's very extreme in my opinion. It's my experience that seeing kids or ANYONE dressed like this would warrant others to say much more hurtful things than that the individual is "gay". Kids are cruel. Your son is basically 13 years old. People are supposed to generally fit the time. The time isn't a hundred years ago and I'm just assuming you live in America. Though this may be an okay thing in other countries, we're not them and we live by different "rules".

It sounds a bit odd to me that you want him to wear the outfit for you in Hawaii. Why? What do you get out of it? I personally don't see how any 13 year old would look adorable like that. I think it's cute for little babies or VERY small children, but even that is a little weird to me.

He can look nice without looking like a girl and that is exactly what people are going to say to him. If anyone saw him that he knew you can bet he would never hear the end of it and the effects of the peer abuse he would suffer would not be worth you wanting him to look "adorable". Take him to the mall and get him a pair of nice khaki pants and a polo shirt, or even a dress shirt with tie. He'll look just as adorable and much more like a little man than a little child, which he isn't...he's growing up and almost in high school.

redchief replied: I'm an official member of the "Anti-kneesox for Boys and No Blazers with Shorts League".