Bridal Showers - Registries

coasterqueen wrote: I was just curious how many people buy bridal shower gifts off the bridal registry or if you buy something else. If you buy something else what would it be? I'm trying to decide if I'm going to buy from my cousin's registry or something else.

mckayleesmom replied: I always buy something else.....1. Because I still kind of think its tacky in a way to ask for certain things and 2. Most of the time some people don't mark off what they already bought and people get duplicates.



I also want to add....that I do usually look to get ideas, but for the most part I don't use them.

CantWait replied: I voted no, but I think it depends. Am I invited to both the bridal shower and wedding? If yes, then the bridal shower I tend to get something more personal, something small for the bride, and get something off the register for the wedding.

luvmykids replied: Just depends on whether or not anything on the registry strikes me.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I normally buy a place setting of their china or flatware.

There have been times when I've gotten things off the registry, though. Like for my best friend if it was something I knew she really wanted, but didn't want to register for it, I bought it for her.

cameragirl21 replied: Karen, I absolutely deplore registries of any kind. This is basically telling someone what to buy you and how much you should spend!
When I go to a wedding or baby shower, I tend to buy whatever I feel the person would like. And I never have registries either...the way I see it, if I know you well enough to invite you to anything of mind that would normally require a registry then you should know me well enough to know the kind of things I like and want.
For a bridal shower, lingerie is always a safe bet IMO, you just have to know the bride's size.
Crystal vases and/or goblets are a safe bet too.
And so is anything made by Waterford or Lenox....

MoonMama replied: For me is depends, but I voted yes because I often do. Mainly because I am bad at coming up with gifts on my own.

ETA: I also wanted to add however that I have never done one before and don't think I ever would. I feel like I am telling the person what they should and should not get for me, and really I don't think thats the idea behind a gift at all.

mom2my2cuties replied: I think buying off a registry is a good idea because then you KNOW you get what the person likes, wants and what they need.

luvbug00 replied: I would get whats on the shower list. For example I purposely put no gift cards because I have no use for that.

CantWait replied:
HAHA I'm the type that would get one just to be spiteful.

A&A'smommy replied: yes unless they don't have one.. if they don't have one they get a gift card!!

luvbug00 replied:

LOL!

coasterqueen replied: I like to go with registries so I don't have to think about it, ya know. That's so bad, but true. I'm so busy I just don't have time to go running around to different stores trying to figure out what to get. I like to print off the registry on-line, go in there and get it and get out. Viola!

BUT I was thinking of getting something more personal, something not on her registry, and getting something off the registry for the wedding gift.

BTW, this is for my cousin. I feel so weird about this whole thing anyways and don't even want to go. She's the cousin of my aunt who took her life last year. My cousin was also in my wedding and I sorta thought maybe I'd be a part of hers, even if it was in a smaller way, but I'm not. NONE of our side of the family is in the wedding except my little cousin who is going to be the flowergirl. All of my uncle's ( ) side is in it. For those of you who know about my aunt and why I don't really like my uncle this whole thing is very hard for me. I'm only going for my aunt.

ataylorm replied: I would probably invite my parents to my bridal shower if I were a bride, but I can't "EXPECT" them to know everything my new family is going to need. I don't like it when anyone is so nosy they know everything I have in my cabinets.

Registeries can be a great way to find out what kind of thing someone needs. When your starting off a new family, those needs can be the most pressing things, and stuff like vases will just get returned to pay for stuff like sheets and dishes.

If your setting up a register, be sure to include items from a broad range of prices, for the people who can spend, and the people who can't spend. You may feel that something else is more from the heart, but if your wanting to be remembered for what you did, something they will use everyday is a better bet. Plus buying other stuff is surely just going to make the bride feel like they "HAVE" to keep it and display it, even if they don't like it, or could really use the money for a blender.

People create a register because they need something that will make their life better. So you can't go wrong, going on the list.

cameragirl21 replied: Karen,
I don't know your story but you sound really conflicted about this. I think it's great that you want to honor your aunt and I'm sorry to hear that she took her own life.
It's very important IMO to honor those who are dead but I believe that it's more important to honor the living. If you really don't want to go, especially if you feel your cousin has disrespected you by not allowing you or your side of the family into the wedding then maybe you shouldn't.
Or at the very least, just go to wedding but not the bridal shower, if that is what this gift/registry is for.
I hope whatever you decide, it works best for you and your family.

Boo&BugsMom replied: I buy things off the registry or give money usually. The main reason is because when someone I knew got married I saw how many people didn't go by the registry and they were stuck buying a lot of things themselves. That is the reason for the registry and why it is there. Plus you can keep track of who bought what so they don't get duplicates of things (as long as people remember to tell the store to record it...a pet peeve of mine!). It's less hassle all around for the couple to be.

Just want to add that only the couple knows what they need, not anyone else, and I don't want to give someone something that they aren't really going to use. I like to be practical.

holley79 replied: I usually try to stick to the registry for the main gift but I will buy something small as an extra that isn't on there.

coasterqueen replied:
Thanks Jennifer. I think I'm also doing this for my children. My cousins and I used to be very close, then we went our seperate ways as teens and I always thought when we were all married and had babies we'd get back to being close. That WOULD have happened IMO and was starting too before my aunt took her life. Now that the circumstances of her death and my uncle just doesn't sit well with my family it's hard for everyone in the situation. So it's not hard for me to be around my cousin, just her dad's family. For my kids sake though I need to just do this for them.

kimberley replied: sorry you are having to revisit this situation again so soon. i know how you have struggled with your feelings on this. i hope you can find some way to enjoy the wedding and avoid your uncle.

i go with a registry if they have one or cash to pay for my plate at the reception. don't feel bad that it isn't as personal, because you are getting them something they actually want/need. so you can't miss.

ediep replied: I go with the registery because it is easy

Boys r us replied: No, for the bridal shower I always buy a big oval basket and fill it with girly things...lotions, bubble baths, bath beads, slippers, cooling gel eye masks etc etc etc...then I strategically place white tissue paper all throughout the basket to cover the items and right before the shower (and I DO MEAN right before) I take pink buds and carnations and cut the stems very short and place them in the little nooks of the tissue paper....the outcome is beautiful and everyone swoons over it!
Plus the bride loves it!

I get a gift off of the registry for the wedding..to me, the bridal shower is about the BRIDE!

hawkshoe replied: It depends on how well I know the person. If I don't know them well, I am more likely to use the registry as a guide. If they are good friends, then I most likely will not.

coasterqueen replied:
Great idea Nichole! Unfortunately I have a two hour drive and a van packed full of people with barely enough time to get there on time or else I'd try your idea.