CIO - **NO DEBATES ALLOWED**

holley79 wrote: OK ladies (and gents) I am totally at the end of my ropes here. Annika has been co- sleeping because I have been too dang tired to do anything else. For the past two nights I have let her become familiar with her bed. Tonight I took the side off and let her climb in and out of it, laid down on it with her and we played a bit. She also plays mostly in the living room so I brought a bunch of her toys upstairs into her room so her room wouldn't be a "strange" place to her. I am ready to have my bed back.

Last Night:

I rocked/ nursed Annika to sleep. I laid her in bed and she instantly woke up and started crying. I got her back out of her bed and rerocked/ nursed her. Waited for "limp limb" and laid her back in her bed. Instantly awake again. I took the let down side of her bed off, half laid in the bed with her and nursed her this way. She would fall asleep then wake. I would switch up breast and it would be the same thing. I finally gave up because she was just using me as a human paci. I put the side of the crib back on and walked out of the room. (Cried at the top of the stairs myself.) Finally after about 15 minutes she went to sleep.

Tonight I did pretty much the same thing. Now I have goggled CIO and baby sleeplessness and all kinds of other baby related sleep things and can't find what I am looking for.

Here is my question: What is the rule of thumb for CIO before going back in and comforting? I would love to not have her CIO but it just seems dang near impossible.

Anyone with any advice I would greatly appreciate it. I am at the end of my rope but am tired of just being too tired to put her to sleep in her own bed. Again please no debates on this topic.

Thank you everyon.

CantWait replied: I don't think there is a general rule of thumb, I think everyone has their own way of doing it.

I wouldn't go back in at all. If Anthony was still crying, I knew he was ok. If he was wimpering, I knew he was ok. For us, walking in only made things worse.

Does Annika know how to climb out of her bed yet? Once she does it'll make things a lot harder.

We've had to go through this process twice. First time, it worked really well, although was the hardest thing I've had to do, but it went by quickly and Anthony was yet to be walking. The second time, he was walking, and climbing out of his bed, and it was pure horror and took so much longer.

Good Luck, and hope you get some rest soon.

PrairieMom replied: I let them cry for 10, go in and check, then wait 15, go check, wait 20, go check.

If it makes you feel anybetter the Peds. sleep specialists here encourage CIO.

mummy2girls replied: well i let jenna cio .. it took a few days and she is awesome to put to sleep now. My thing is if the cry turns into a cry where you know she is scared or just a not a good sounding cry then go in. i know no cry is a good sounding cry but you can tell the difference. ((HUGS))) it will get better!

what you could try.. is put her to bed when she is alseep and then if she wakes sit on teh floor and reasure her that you are there and she may go to sleep then fater a while put her in when she is awake and sit on teh floor and reassure her you are there and then gradually you can slide out of the room where you dont have to even start on teh floor. I did this to a 12 motnh old i nannied and it worked. took a coyuple weeks but now she goes to sleep on her own...

sorry for all teh spelling mistakes but im too stressed to even fix them

redchief replied: What you're doing sounds fine to me Holley. I know how hard it is to listen to her cry, but you're right... She's using you as a human paci, and she doesn't need it. Most of all you both need to sleep.

~Roo'sMama~ replied:
Andrew was the same way. We tried going in at different intervals, but it just made him mad and he'd just cry longer. We finally figured out that we had to just put him in there and not go back in unless we heard the nuk drop on the floor. It was hard but I knew he was ok. Mad, but ok.

For some though going in every few minutes helps ~ if that seems to work for Annika then I'd do that. Just keep increasing the number of minutes you are gone from her room, and don't pick her up or nurse her when you do go in, just talk to her and pat her back for a minute. Good luck I know it's hard!

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: I have to say, I agree with what everyone else has said. I never co-slept with Logan, he's been in his own bed in his own room since day one. But that was what worked for me. It sounds like Annika may be one of those kids who does better faster with fewer interruptions. I started with Logan at 8 months, after his first surgery his sleep schedule was MESSED up. It took 3 nights of me just laying in bed listening to him cry before he got the hang of self soothing. But he's a champ at it now. The only time I go in is if he has the "Scared, Had a nightmare" cry or the "something hurts"cry. I know it's the hardest thing in the world to have a crying baby, but you NEED to sleep. Otherwise, what kind of mommy will you be the next day. Our bodies need a recharge. Good luck, Holley.

kimberley replied: i have never used CIO but i wanted to offer hugs. i hope it works out for you and you get some much needed rest

moped replied: I would leave her to be honest - she has a habit to break and if you go in she knows if she cries you will be there, therefore she will cry more - you know her cry and that she is ok

My3LilMonkeys replied: You've gotten lots of great advice about the CIO, so I'll just add my 2 cents about the bed - I would suggest leaving it as a crib until she's older. We didn't move Brooke to a toddler bed until she was almost 2 1/2 and she has understood from day 1 that she can't get out of bed unless 1) she has to go potty, then it's to the bathroom and right back to bed or 2) she wakes up and it is already light out. Any other time she needs something, she sits in her bed and calls for DH or I to help her.

CantWait replied: I forgot to mention Holley, we did a revised CIO after Anthony learned to climb out of bed. We'd sit on the floor about a foot from his crib and every minute slide out of the room about an inch till we were at the door. Once he was asleep we could scoot out the door. We had to be very quiet leaving though since we had very creaky floors.

mckayleesmom replied: One thing I heard and always stuck to was DON'T PICK THEM UP.....If you have to go into their room to soothe them or for any other reason.....you can comfort them in their crib or bed, but don't pick them up.

chellesings replied: Hi! I'm not sure what CIO is, I'm guessing it is Cry It Out? Anyway, I have the same problem with my little foster child. He has now gotten to the point where he is standing up in the crib jumping up and down. I've always been one who thought that babies had to learn to put themselves to sleep, but I'll have to admit, it is soooooo hard hearing him scream! Perhaps I'll need to try what several moms have suggested about sitting on the floor and gradually ease out of the nursery.

I hope that you get a good night's sleep really soon and that Annika does also.


Michelle

holley79 replied: Thank you everyone.

Her bed is still a crib. I had just taken the let down side off for her to crawl in and out of the bed while we were playing in there. There is no way I could leave her in a toddler bed yet. She would be running amuck.

We did CIO Friday night and Saturday night. Saturday night was a little harder and longer then Friday night. Sunday night there were too many fireworks being set off to try and put her to bed. She fell asleep on Daddy's lap and I just put her to bed. Last night was the hardest year. She was screaming at the top of her lungs so I did relent after 15 minutes, pick her up, nurse her and then put her to bed for her to awaken again. I finally just walked out, shut the door and went to my room. I noticed the pauses in her fussing were getting longer and longer till she finally went to sleep. Makes for a long night but I think we will get there. I have tried the sitting next to her crib but I think that is worse for her and I. She just screams louder and puts her hands to the outside of the crib wanting me to pick her up so that's been scratched.

Shawn and I are trying to start "settling" down for the night around 830. Turn down the lights, sound down on the TV, and book time with Annika. Hopefully we can get a better routine and hopefully get her sleeping better at night without so much fussing.

Again thank you everyone for the tips and everything. I was able to pop on and just take a peek to see what else I could do but this is the first time I was able to really respond.

I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year.

flirtycuddle replied: We did CIO with my dd when she was 9 months old and just like your dd being in there or going back in made it worse. It took Jackie about 3 or 4 days to where she will just go to bed. The first few nights she screamed for 45 mins each and I thought for sure it wasnt going to work but then it was a half hour then not at all.

kit_kats_mom replied: I did not read any of the responses but here's what worked for us.

We could not bring ourselves to CIO but we used some of the tecniques from "the no cry sleep solution" and made the rest up as we went along. K has been sleeping in her own bed for a long time now. Here's how we did it.

We put her crib mattress on the floor in our room and we put her to bed earlier. She was overtired which was making bedtime even worse. I did the before bed routine and rocked and nursed her to sleep. DH took over when she woke up (usually right when I put her on her bed). He laid on the floor next to her until she fell asleep. When she'd wake up, I'd nurse her before 11 but after that, daddy would take over. He did end up sleeping on the floor next to her bed for a few weeks...not perfect but it worked. She ended up sleeping through the night in our room that way until we moved when we put her mattress in her room. She stayed there from then on. HTH

b&bsmom replied: I did the CIO method but revised it to fit me, what I did ( and mine was more for breaking the pasi from bedtime) is I would go in after 5 min not pick them up but lay them back down, pat their back for a min, leave, wait 8min repeat, then 10 min and so on. till finally they would go to sleep. I would only go in if they were still crying when the time was up. It worked well for us.

The best advice I can give you is whatever you decide, stick with it, if you go back to your old ways just one night, you will have to start all over. So just be consistent. Good Luck. KUP!!!

KingMom replied:
This is what I do. I'll go in after 10 min and offer the pacifier, and the same after another 15 min, then another 20 min. Usually she's asleep well before this but these are the rules at my house

If it goes on too long, I usually offer to nurse or give expressed milk in the bottle (just another ounce or two) and then lay her down.

Good luck! I can't imagine how hard it would be with her at this age!

blue72 replied: I feel for you. I was in the same boat about 1 month ago. We were to the point that we feared we would inflict bodily harm upon our 2 year old if we had to get up every 3 hours to comfort him back to sleep. Jake would go to sleep fine at 8:30 but had a nasty habit of waking every 3 to 4 hours for comfort. Thus, we decided we had to try the cry it out method. It worked. We finally stuck with it and it was difficult. We had 3 very rough nights (crying for 1.5 hrs the 1st night - he was a determined little thing). I wouldn't offer any comfort. Just let her scream, scream, scream. She'll eventually fall to sleep.