Can I Move away????

mummy2girls wrote: Far far away where aron cant find me? You guys are the only people i can vent to...so if you dont want to read no worries!

Aron came over last night and he really drove me to the boiling point. He was sitting with jenna on the couch looking at a picture book. jenna knows objects and animals and sounds and such... But jennas personality is that if she doesnt want to say or do anything you ask she wont! No matter what anyone does she just wont budge. I call her stubborn headed! LOL. Anyways aron got mad because she wouldnt answer him when he asked what each things was. He started to actually yell at her. I told him to stop doing that to her. He then asked me if there is anything we can put her in (schooling). I said at 3 she can go to preschool. He said no NOW. He wants to put her in a better daycare that will work one on one with her. I told him that in a daycare setting a child cant get one on one attention. because its 3 or 4 kids per adult. So its kinda hard. plus i told him that if she is moved to a different daycare then he has to pick her up on the days i work till 6. Yeah right!

This part is what confused me to want to slap him....I tiold him if he is that concerned on her education abilities at 2 to go out and buy a bunch of leap frog educational toys for chrsitmas for her age group. and books also. He then says this... she wont sit down long enough to listen. Ok that is what confused me! You complain she isnt learning but you wont teach her because of her attention span??????? Im confused. Also he is mad that she cant talk according to him. He thinks she should be spitting out flippimng paragraphs by now. She can talk. If she wants milk she will say more milk, she will say no, yes, what foods she wants, tell me she hurts, she loves me, she can sing songs, the abc's. but to him thats not good enough. to him she should be saying. Hi daddy I miss you so much, can you please play with me, I want to have supper etc etc etc. I am so mad i could scream!

I am to a point to where no matter what i say he doent understand. He is so mad she wont do more but he wont step up and and be a father and help. I didnt know that i had to do 100 percent of everything. I raise her by myself emotiionally he helps financilally but thats it! If it wasnt for me what would he do if he had to take her and raise her without me there. I am the one waking up at night with her, getting up at 6 every morning, taking care of her while she is sick, goign to work fulltime no matter how tired i am, i cook her meals, i do EVERTYTHING a mom and dad does. So you can call me the mom and dad combined...is there a word for that...MAM DOD....LOL!!!!!

Im so mad i can scream!!!!!!

MomToMany replied: Ugh, what a moron. Jenna is doing great! I know Hannah clams up for people too, and she won't talk like she normally would (which is a LOT, LOL). I wouldn't talk to him either. She's a smart girl .

ctymom replied: He has some kind of past issues with learning. B/c he's not thinking logically when it comes her. She's doing just fine and yet it's not good enough. He also wont listen to reason. I would ask him if he has some issues growing up regarding learning and therefor placing them on her b/c his expectations are not logical or realistic.

And I cant count how many times I've said, "she going to make a liar out of me" lol Kids never 'perform' when you want them to...that's their nature!

I know he makes you mad... but you do just fine and she is doing great. His issues are simply his and HE needs to deal with them.

Hang in there.
Pamela

mummy2girls replied:
well he hasnt had a good childhood. from age 8 till 18 he was in foster care... and he has had a very severe case of ADHD so the teachers just passed him to get rid of him . so it wont surprise me her attention span and her not wanting to sit very long is going to be related to that as time goes on. he knows that too.

It upsets me that he puts that all on jenna and expects more. Its very frsutrating! I can only ignore to a certain point.

ctymom replied: ah ok.... I knew there had to be something behind it all. It doesnt make his actions right, but there's a reason behind his insanity. He needs to come to terms with things from his past b/c there's no way of changing until he does. In the meantime, it's driving you insane and you and Jenna both dont deserve that.

And I know you cant ignore it all the time. Easier said than done. And just wanted to mention that I'm in no way giving an excuse for his actions... just for me, it made things alittle easier when I understood what fueled some of my DH's actions in the past. I could make those the issues rather than his actions. If that makes sense at all. I wish I had advice for you.

Pamela

Kaitlin'smom replied: yes please do, you can come live here, I would love to met you and that adorable Jenna.

I tell you if I ever met Aron I just might hull off and smack him, he has some real issues and he better get them under controll she in no way need to grow up around such negitivity.

kimberley replied:

if he EVER yells at her again, i would seriously consider revoking access! that poor little girl is going to have major issues the way he keeps putting her down. poor Jenna!

My2Beauties replied: Ugh he makes me so mad I could scream myself Shelly!!!!!!!!! I don't understand where he gets off yellijng at a 2 year old to make flippin' animla noises, who cares! Jenna is vibrant and smart and full of life and that is all that matters. When is he gonna get it through his thick skull that children learn at their own pace and personally I think Jenna is doing wondefully, way more than I can say for other two year olds I know ,they barely speak at all!

Maybe you need to show Aron this board so that he can realize what others are saying and so that he can be scared for his life next time he says something negative to you or Jenna, because we moms stick together and all want to him in the head one good time!

Maddie&EthansMom replied: He really needs to back off and quit being so hard on her. She is only 2 and she is a very smart and well rounded little girl. There is absolutely nothing wrong with her.

A&A'smommy replied: have you tried confronting him about putting his problems on Jenna? That really isn't fair that he is doing that to Jenna. I understand it must be difficult but she is VERY smart and he shouldn't put that on her! ((((HUGS)))

mummy2girls replied:
I have confronted him many times. but its like talking to a flipping wall. nothing i say he cares to listen. Thats what is very frustrating about this all!

A&A'smommy replied: I'm SO sorry Shelly, its not fair that he is putting YOU and Jenna through this!! I just don't understand some people!!!

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Shelly, that's what we are here for! Don't ever feel badly for venting to us! We care about you and Jenna! Try not to pay much attention to what Aaron says. He doesn't spend the same amount of time with her as you do, so Jenna probably isn't comfortable with him. You know she's smart and well adjusted! We're here for you Shelly!