Can you see my head spinning yet? - Daycare vent!!!!!!!!!!!

coasterqueen wrote: My blood is literally boiling right now and my head is getting ready to pop off my shoulders and start spinning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My lovely (NOT) home sitter told me a few months ago that she was going to be taking her vacation when her DH got home from Alaska. Okay, I said that's fine just let me know in advance becuz this time of year is starting to get busy at work and I need to warn my boss. She said no problem and that it would just be a Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Well, I thought that was cool, becuz I just had to take 2 days off. Now she reiterated to me on several occassions that it would only be a friday and monday.

Well....I go to drop Kylie off yesterday and she told me she was taking a Friday, and then a whole week (Mon-Fri). So 6 days. She is only allowed 5 more paid days of vacation. I tried to keep my cool and said "oh, so your taking more than just a fri and mon?" She replied yes. And it was left at that. I wanted to say something so bad, but knew the words that would come out are not appropriate, KWIM?

So all day yesterday DH and I were scrambling to figure out who was going to take what off becuz the week after sitter's vacation I have a board meeting to put together. So really that week was perfect becuz I still had the week of my board meeting to be at work. So by the evening I was feeling pretty excitied because I got several days to be w/DD and Dh got the same. We were even planning what I would do with my time w/Kylie and Dh was doing the same w/his time.

Well.....this morning I go to drop Kylie off and she hands me a piece of paper. She proceeded to tell me she changed her vacation to....yes, you got it, to the week of my board meeting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I about lost it. I just hugged Kylie and said goodbye and left. I knew it wasn't going to be pretty if I stayed at spoke my mind.

So now, I can't take any time off with her becuz I have to plan and get ready for this board meeting and now DH will have to use all of his vacation time for this and he won't be able to take off work around Thanksgiving and Christmas. UGH!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

I am so angry I just want to cry! This woman did this to us the last time she took vacation. Of coure I immediately called DH and chewed his butt out!!!!!!!!!!! He deserved it!! He is the one who wants to keep this sitter. I know she is GREAT with Kylie, but there are a few things I absolutely despise about her, but Dh seems to think I would find something wrong with anyone else we got, which is VERY TRUE. And his opinion is "why take her out of a place she likes, just because I find some thing I don't like and will with everyone else".

I am so sorry you have to read this long vent!!!! I just needed to get my thoughts on paper or something. Most of my thoughts would be *)(&(*&(**&^#R*&^$#&(*$@#&^Q($#^*#&$^(*@Q&^#%)#($*&@_. But I know I can't type those.

ediep replied: oh how aggrivating!!! I would feel the same way....if I was closer, I would watch her for you so DH didn't have to use up his vacation time.

amynicole21 replied: How inconsiderate!!!!! Though it won't be much good now, could you work something out with her that all vacations from either party must be in writing and announced at least 2 weeks in advance? I don't know if that would solve future problems or not... I don't know what to tell you, but I am sending lots of to you!! I'm sorry!!

aspenblue1 replied: That is so inconsiderate. You may want to have her put her vacation in writing. My daycare provider takes her vacation the sametime every year. She even has it in her contract.

jdkjd replied: As someone who had to switch from a home daycare to a regular daycare (because the lady would not listen to me!), try and find somewhere else. At the age that she's at, she will adjust quickly to a new situation and will enjoy other children.

Just start asking around your friends that have small kids...maybe this will be an opportunity to find something more ideal. And when there is more than one person, you don't have to worry about when they go on vacation...

HTH

coasterqueen replied:
She did kind of put it in writing. She put it on her daily sheet that came home with her last night SIGH.

jcc64 replied: I know EXACTLY how you feel. I had the same sitter for Corey's entire 1st year, they knew each other really well, and I was very hesitant to rock the boat. But there were soooooo many things about this sitter that bothered me and made my life very stressful. I was constantly aggravated. The details are too complicated to go into now, but needless to say, things came to a head in July, we ended up in a big argument and she quit on the spot. Like you, I was always afraid to be adversarial with the person who was taking care of my child, I never wanted to ruffle her feathers, but then it ended up that I felt like I was working for her. In retrospect, I realize that this was not an insignificant problem. Although she was good with the baby, I now realize it is critical to be able to communicate your concerns, issues, problems with your caregiver. If you feel like you cannot speak freely with her, this should not be ignored. You shouldn't have to bend over backwards to accomodate her schedule, your vacation time should be spent doing what you want to do, not covering for her. Free time for working families is always at a premium, it shouldn't be squandered b/c she can't get her schedule straight. Although my sitter's sudden resignation really sent us into a tailspin for about a month, we eventually found someone new whom we LOVE, and in the end we realized that the baby is better off with her as well. Change is scary, but for us, it was so worth it. If this sitter is a thorn in your side, don't be afraid to consider other options. Your baby will adjust, trust me. Good luck, and keep me posted!
Peace,
Jeanne

Mommieto2Girls replied: That's awful. I can't stand it when people are just so darn inconsiderate. Here's some big hugs and I hope everthing works itself out for you guys.

coasterqueen replied:
You said everything I feel, but I just am so scared to change. What if the next person I find is the same way or I find things wrong with them? Then I will have to change again. This just sucks because we spent 9 months finding someone who we thought would be the best. We wanted someone in our school district, so when Kylie is in school she can get off the bus there. We live out in the country where finding a sitter in our school district is almost none!!! We got so lucky to find this person. AND she lives right down the road from us and her Dh works at the same company as my DH. So it just seemed golden all the way around.

We know of another GREAT woman, I've never used her for sitting, but my SIL loves her. She didn't have an opening when we first were looking or we would have went with her hands down. Even though she doesn't live in our district and she is WAY out of our way to go to work. Now she has an opening, or at least she did a month ago when we turned it down. I just am so afraid to change. That just means that I would have to leave even earlier from work and have less time with her. It would cost us double to have her and that means we would have to give up the cleaning lady, which we've only had for two weeks, but since we've had her come I get to spend A LOT more time with Kylie. Which is GOLDEN becuz w/work I just don't have time to do everything. That also means I would have to find someone later to watch her before/after school when she starts preschool.

UGH! Why can't everything just go the way I want it to!???!!!

CantWait replied: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr what a rotten thing to do, Can you "FIRED"!!!!!

jcc64 replied: Not sure if this is your 1st baby or not, but I've been at this working mommy thing for 11 years now, and my experience has been as follows. The "right" person for your child will change over time. A person who's great with babies maybe isn't as great with toddlers. And a person who's great with toddlers may be boring for school age kids. Where you may want one on one care or smaller ratios for young babies, you may want your older kid around lots of other kids for socialization. That's not to say that you should be going through sitters like paper towels, but be realistic about your expectations. I never had the same sitter for my older kids from birth through school. Your needs, and those of your child, will evolve. When your child is school age, you'll have met other moms who can help put her on the bus or take her after school. Try not to plan too far into the future. Find the situation that is best for right now, and ride it for as long as you can. The older your child gets, the more people you will meet and can "network" with about all the available childcare options in your area. For now, I'd check out the sitter your SIL loves.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I'm so sorry your sitter did this to you. It doesn't sound to me like she really thought what she was doing through and should have given you a lot more warning. I hope you can make other arrangements for her time away so your DH won't have to use up all his holidays. Is there someone else you could try, see if you like and if you do say GOOD BYE to the sitter? This would be the perfect opprotunity for you to sitter shop! Good Luck!

MommyToAshley replied: How inconsiderate!! GRRRRr!

I am sorry you have to deal with this!

chloe&tysmommy replied: wow, your sitter sounds like a real %#@%^!!!!!!!!

I feel so sorry for you, hopefully something works out for you and your dh won't have to use up his holidays on this.
I agree with trying to get something in writing for the next time, and I would definitely tell the sitter what kind of comotion(sp) she started!!!!
Let her know that its not that easy for you or dh to take time off!!!

Big hugs for you

A&A'smommy replied: wow im sorry you had to go through this!!! im sure i would be !)*)&%$#*(@&#($*#)(@*$)(* up and down too!!!

MomToJade&Jordan replied: I would have changed sitters the first time she did this. When you run a business like this you have to be straight forward about what you are going to do. You just can't change your plans after you have said what was going on. I know you are scared to switch, but I think it would be a good idea. Your holidays are going to be messed up because this woman can't make up her mind. I will probably be starting a home daycare in the near future myself and if I want to take off I will make sure the parents know two weeks in advance. I hope this gets better for you.

Heather replied: I would be pi$$ed too! I would change too, I am with you. Sounds like she is trying to run you guys. HA, I would have to give her a piece of my mind. I dont' think I would have had the strength to hold back on what I was thinking. Kudos to you for doing that!!