Could your DH do it?

amynicole21 wrote: I have a business meeting in Phoenix in November and I will be away from home for 3 nights and 4 days. There is no way that I can bring DH and Sophia with me. DH is great when keeping Sophia for several hours during the day, but has never been alone with her for an entire night. It worries me because she wakes a lot at night and wants to nurse. I'm trying to wean her from this now, but it's not going so well. Also, we co-sleep, but I do not trust that DH would wake as quickly as I do if she begins to wake up.

Heck, I don't know if I could handle her by myself for that long!!

MIL might be able to come over during the evenings to give him a break, but who knows?

I'm also worried about her weaning herself while I'm gone This STINKS!!!! I wish I didn't have to go, but I can't get out of it. WaaaaaaH!!! Maybe he'll surprise me with his caretaking abilities... I can only hope!

Any advice? Could you trust your DH to do it?

Mommieto2Girls replied: OMG, My DH could never handle it I think. I don't know what to tell you, but she just might fully wean herself if your not there. It might be easier for her. No temptation, KWIM... Good luck to your DH, he is gonna have a busy few days ahead of him, giggle giggle... lol

MomToMany replied: Hmmm...kind of a toughie there. I'm still nursing Hannah, too. It's the only way she will go to sleep. I'm not sure what I would do. I know I wouldn't want Hannah to wean, either. Would you be able to pump? Even if you can't save it, it would help keep your supply up. How is she doing with regular milk? Has she had that yet? Does she take a bottle? Just thinking out loud here if she gets really fussy at night. I don't think she would "forget" about nursing, either. She would probably be very happy to see you when you get back! My DH was here alone with the boys when I was in the hospital with Hannah, and things went pretty smoothly, and the house was almost spotless!

I think my DH would surprise me with his abilities, but would go crazy, especially since there's 4 kids here. Maybe then he would appreicate what I do more.

Sorry I can't offer more advice, and I hope everything goes well!

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I think you will be surprised. My DH doesn't really do much or act like he knows what he's doing until he HAS to do it.

I went out of town last December. I was gone for a few days. Maddie was 2.5 y.o so it was a little different than your situation, but DH had really never been with her alone overnight. My dad was here to watch her during the day (since mom was with me) and DH would take over at night. They were both really good with her and she was really spoiled. She ended up sleeping with DH b/c she didn't want to go to bed. DH even put her hair in a ponytail!!!!

amynicole21 replied:
I will definitly bring my pump, though I don't think I'll be able to keep anything I express. She takes a bottle well, and we are almost completely switched over to cows milk besides nursing. I doubt she'll forget about it too, but you never know

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Amy I wouldn't worry! You would be surprised what men can handle when they have too. I was in the hospital for 2 weeks without Claudia and she is still breastfeeding today! This might be good for both you and Sophia. And you will be surprised at how well Sophia will do while you are gone. I know it will be hard for you, but remeber that it is only for 4 days and they will go by so quickly!

supermom replied: Before yesterday, I would have said my DH could handle it!! LOL - but he had a really bad time at work with Anders and it was basically a free-for-all by the time I got back from the doctor with Emily. However, I imagine at home it would be different because there Anders could get more undivided attention.......

ITA with teddybearmom - I don't think she would forget about nursing, but your supply would be the issue - and pumping would be important, both for supply issues and also comfort (your physical comfort) issues. Maybe this would be the perfect opportunity for night-weaning?? I know it sounds cruel, but maybe daddy is just the person for the job.....

I am sure it will all work out - to you!

MomToJade&Jordan replied: I am going to have to agree with Supermom about the perfect time to night wean. I know that you have been wanting to do this and it might be easier since you won't be there. When Jade finally stopped nursing at night we started to get better sleep. She sleeps in her own room, but still would get up a couple of times a night. I don't think she will forget about nursing on you. Just bring your pump so you can keep the supply up and I hope that everything goes well for you.

DansMom replied: I sympathize with your situation---it's too bad you can't get out of it. Another year would make a difference in how you feel about leaving her, with the nursing and sleeping situation still a question mark. I can see why you're already anxious about this even though it's a couple of months away.

I would try to get a commitment from MIL. I bet DH will do a great job, but I know my DH would need someone to help out a bit to give him a break. I think my DH could do it, but not without help, or at least I'd feel better knowing he had someone he could call for help.

They'll both appreciate you more when you return Kids are resilient and adaptable when it comes right down to it, and spouses can usually handle more than we think they can.

Kaitlin'smom replied: Wow thats hard. I know I would not be able to leave Kaitlin right now due to BF, but I think in a year or so when she is no BF DH could do it for a couple nights, but he would probably have some help. I know I can do it, he had to go away in Aug for a week, and he leaves again this Sunday for a week. Its tiring for me cause I dont have him to get up when I get totaly exausted and tell him your turn. Thankfully she does not wake up to much at night. I am hoping its smooth sailing next week for me alone. Good luck to you! The days will go by fast, and pumping is deffinatly gonna help you. Big hugs to you!

MomofTay&Sam replied: I wish I could comment on the BF part but have no clue about it. My DH would be able to handle it and than some. He has always given 100% when he is home. Sammy wakes for bottles a few times a night, never really wakes but wants to eat. Like nursing in the night I guess? Daddy always gets the bottles and always puts them up after Sammy has had his fill. I never get up at night. I think everything will be ok and maybe you will get a mini break from everything. Take some nice long bubble baths(while pumping ofcourse). Treat yourself to some special alone time.

maestra replied: Don't think my dh could, but I live in Phoenix, so let me know if I can help with anything while you're here!

CantWait replied: Good Luck I don't think my dh could do it. It would be fishsticks, oven pizzas or fast food the whole time. And bath, what is that???? If he did remember, my son would have a face and eye full of soap. I love my dh to death, but I don't think he could handle it.

jem0622 replied: I was the same way with my DH when my eldest DS was the onlie. It really doesn't help any of you to be the one in charge 24/7. They can do more than we think they can when given the opportunity and this will help to strengthen the bond also. Pump while you are gone. If you need a double electric I could share mine w/ ya...depends on when you are going though. I am down to using my Isis. You would just need horns (unless you wanted to sterilize a pair of mine (I have 3 sets of horns). If weaning happens, then it happens. Not much you can do and you don't want to end up with Mastisis from trying to offer the boob and get rejected.

It's really time to trust DH more and give him the chance to be a Dad and do things his way. He would never do anything to endanger his own child.

HUGS
Julie

amynicole21 replied:
Thanks for the offer, but I've still got my PIS so I should be all set. I think you're right that I need to trust DH more... I have a problem letting go of control when it comes to Sophia I know he wouldn't do anything to endanger her, but sometimes he just doesn't think. I try to explain my resonings for doing certain things, but for the most part I think he thinks I make it up I'm sure he'll do fine, but I'll still worry

MommyToAshley replied: I know my DH could handle it, but I still get anxious even when I leave Ashley for a few hours. A few months ago, I left her with DH for 6 hours and I was worried because of BF. (She still nursed every two hours). But, DH was great with her and it was fine in the end.

I was going to say the same thing that the others did... it is the perfect time to night wean. You all might get some better rest when you return.

I know you are going to worry no matter what, but maybe you can schedule friends or relatives to come at different times to help your DH out for a few hours. It might make you feel a little better.

<<HUGS>>

Heather replied: My Dh does it about 3 times a week. I work nights 7p-7a, so he takes care of her while I am at work. And then the next day while I am catching up on my sleep. I was so worried the first few nights. He does really well, I am happy to say! I pumped while at work, so I kept up my supply.

Maybe you can give him a list of things to do and to remember just in case...he will have that info. I know you will hate being away from her for so long! (BIG HUGS)

3_call_me_mama replied: You'd be amazed what they can handle when they have to. I was away at a convention in St. Louis this July for 6 days and left Cameron, who was still nursing and only 8 months old with my husband and he did a fabulous job. I had pumped enough so that there would be PLENTY while I was gone adn pumped while I was away and able to freeze it and fly it home with me, so it replenished the supply. It really suprised me because Cameron nurses to sleep every night and when i left he was still taking a pacifier, much to my disliking, but when i came back he had given up his paci and refused to take the bottle so pretty much perfected the sippy cup that week. He was eating pretty much everything at that point so i wasn't too worried about his milk intake. HE did however pick up nursimg like I had never left So it wasn't as traumatic as i had imagined it would be.

You'll probably enjoy the break and really look forward to the hugs and kisses when you return, and they will be fine:)

amynicole21 replied: Thanks Cam's mom... I'm starting to feel a little better about leaving them now. And you guys are all right, I am really going to love some time to myself... as bad as I feel saying that "out loud."

BTW Cam's mom, I love your avatar... he is so cute!!

jcc64 replied: Hey Amy,
BTDT- when Corey was about 8 months old. Went on a business trip for 4 days. Had the very same concerns that you do. I was so worried that I asked my 11 yr old to "keep an eye on Dad". My dh basically assured me (admitted actually) that he's A LOT more responsive at night when he knows I'm not there. We also co-sleep, I also bf all night long. He did great! My older boys backed him up. She did wake up and cry a few times, but when she knew he was the only act in town, she settled for simple cuddling. I pumped and dumped with my little Advent Isis, and had no problem keeping my supply up. When I got back, she latched on like a champ. Didn't skip a beat. And I managed to get in a few great kidless dinners on the company expense account. Have fun and don't worry!
Jeanne