DH and I have to be the worst parents ever!! - I am just sick with myself.....LONG!!!!!

Mom2Boyz wrote: OMG I don't even know where to start!!! I have been bawling all night

A girlfriend of mine called me this evening not feeling well, and wanted to know if I would go with her to the dr. I told her I would, but I would have to wait til Larry got home so he could watch the kids. He got home from work, and I waited on her to get to my house so I could follow her up there. When she got to the house, Conner was watching t.v. and Caden was asleep in his bed. Dh was in the restroom, and I told him I was leaving, and would be back in a little while. I gave Conner a kiss and told him I would be right back.

I had been at the hospital for about 2 hours when I realized that I'd left my cell phone in the car, so I decided to call and check with Larry to make sure everything was all right and tell him it wouldn't be much longer. When he answered the phone, I could tell something was wrong. He said "I've been calling you for the last 2 hours, where is your cell phone?" I told him I forgot it in the car. He said "You need to come home right now!!!" I asked him what was wrong, and he said DFS (department of family services) is comming over, just get here and I'll explain!!. I immediatly start to freak out, and tell my friend I'm sorry, but I've got to go.

I get home, and dh tells me that when he came out of the restroom he couldn't find Conner anywhere, and he assumed that I had taken him with me. (that is when he started trying to call me)
He said he checked the whole house, even checked outside, and when he couldn't find him, he was sure I'd taken him with me.
Conner had scooted a laundry basket over to the door, turned it upside down and climbed on top so he could reach the door knob and went outside!!!!
He made it about 2 blocks away and our neighbors found him, called the police, and went door to door trying to find out where he belonged When they came to the door with Conner, dh said OMG I thougth he was with his mother!!! DH said our neighbors and the police were both very nice about it. They understood that it was a total accident, and didn't try to make us feel like bad parents, but we both feel just awful!!!!! The police said that in any case like this that they have to report it to dfs. They didn't come tonight, so I'm expecting them first thing in the morning.

I am just SICK!!!! Things like this don't happen to me!!!! I just keep thinking about what could have happened in those few minutes that he was out of the house.
What if he'd been hit by a car?
What if someone not so nice had found him?
Every time I think about it I just start to bawl
God was definatly with my little man tonight

Up until tonight I thought dh and I were pretty good parents, but now I'm not so sure.
Hopefully this all made sense. I'm still a nervouse wreck!!!

CantWait replied: OMG Amy I am so sorry. Thank goodness Conner was found safely. You're not a bad mother at all, this is just pure coincidence. First thing you should do before DFS gets there in the morning is go out and buy a sliding lock or something of that sort to place high up where he'd never be able to reach it. At least then they know you're taking protective measures to make sure it never happens again. Big hugs to ya hon, this isn't your fault at all

DblTblDad replied: That is really scary! I am always terrified my kids are going to do something like that, that's why they're still in their cribs. You're not bad parents, everyone makes mistakes!

amymom replied: OMG! I am so sorry.
You so are a good parent. Things happen and this will someday be something you tell his girlfriends about.

Take care.

Alice replied: Please don't beat yourself up over this. He could have done the same thing in the middle of the night, with both of you there. Kids are incredibly imaginative... it's hard to predict what will occur to them.

You left Conner in good hands. Your husband didn't just assume he was with you.. he called and called and searched.

So it was a total fluke. Both the police and Children's services will understand that, although they have to follow procedures anyway.

Try, as much as possible, to give yourselves a break.

gr33n3y3z replied: Things like that happen alot
You and your hubby are great parents dont either of you beleave your not.
The most important thing is he was found and safe
Hugs

amynicole21 replied: Oh how scary! I'm so glad everything turned out ok. You are NOT bad parents - this was a fluke. Everything will be ok. I agree about the sliding lock though, or some kind of hook lock at the top of the door or doorknob cover. We had to get those about a year ago when we learned Sophia could open the doors by herself

mom21kid2dogs replied:
Kids CAN do those sorts of things! I'm so glad that Conner's guardian angel was with him and he was returned safely to you. The thoughts of what might have been are just the worst thing ever.

I TOTALLY agree about getting to the harware store and installing locks on all your exterior doors (don't forget the garage~next thing you know he'll be driving the car!!) that will be too high for him to reach. CSB will definately see that in a favorable light and, given his recent antics, it might be the only you'll ever sleep peacefully again!

to you and your hubby. That is a terrifying experience!!

ediep replied: OMG! How scary!!!! Thank God he was found safely!!!

You are not a bad parent at all, the same exact thing could happen to anyone. It was an accident. Definately get a lock or a door knob cover for all your doors that lead outside!

punkeemunkee'smom replied: That is my worst fear! You are not a bad parent-you just have an adventurous child! A similar thing happened with one of my brothers,kids are amazing-Conner probably isn't concerned at all.I agree with the lock suggestion.Good luck with dfs this morning just stay calm and explain what happened. to you! You are a good mommy!

luvbug00 replied: OMG you are NOT a bad parent. ITA with all the other mommies. I think the added lock is a great idea! I'm sure CPS will understand. for you and DH!!

Kaitlin'smom replied: OMG how frighting. I would have been freeked out as well. Glad he was found safe. i agree get something so that little smartie cant do it again.

Mom2Boyz replied: Thanks everyone for the reassurance Lord knows I need it!!! I am waiting on my mom to get here so I can run to the store and get a lock for the door (Conner is still sleeping or I'd go now)
DH went to work, but wants me to call him when dfs gets here so he can come home and be here to hear what they say about it. He just feels awful!!! I'm sure everything will work out fine I know I"m going to be a nervous wreck until they get here and get it over with though.

Thanks again everyone

redchief replied:
First off, Connor showed himself to be pretty resourceful, and you guys shouldn't beat yourselves up so badly. Everything turned out okay, and I'm sure you're going to take steps to make sure the little squirt doesn't pull an escape on you again! I'm not sure how I feel about the "up high" lock idea because of fire safety - I'm thinking a door alarm would be a better choice (like they use in homes with pools).

As far as the police having to notify DFS goes, I'm not so sure about that. I know that when things like that happen here (and it happens often because people are renting houses that aren't their own and they can't put in locks and such), it's up to the police to decide whether or not there was actually any wrongdoing on the part of the parents. In your case it would obviously have been an unfortunate case of miscommunication and a really smart little kid. Our police would likely not have made a call to DFS. Missouri's laws might be different though.

At any rate, you are not a bad parent if your child escapes from the house. It's obvious your DH was just as upset about it as you were considering his frantic calls to your cell. Take a deep breath and then a good look around and decide what you need to do to make sure the little escape artist doesn't get out without your knowledge again.

My2Beauties replied: Oh no! I am so sorry, but honey believe me this could happen to anybody. About 2 months ago, Brian was driving down his parent's street with Desiree in the car and there was a 2 year old baby in the middle of the street, he stopped and picked her up and was going door to door asking people if they knew who his mom was, I can't believe I never told you all that story. Anyways, the mother and the rest of the family come barrelling around the corner screaming and crying and thanking Brian for helping them and stuff. The same thing happened, the little booger found a way out of their house! So believe me, it happens. You are not a bad mother nor is Larry a bad father! I agree with the lock or some type of door alarm, anything to give you peace of mind! to you hon, I'm sure DFS will realize that you're not bad parents and will be out of your hair!

moped replied: I am so sorry - that is so scary, but he is fine and DFS will understand that when they visit, please let us know how it all goes.......................

TANNER'S MOM replied: You aren't a bad parent.. but one who learned a valueable lesson.

We live in the country.. and I was always afraid Tanner would get out and go to the pond. I would lay in bed.. and think of that.

He SLEPT in bed with us. When he was 2.. he got out of the bed with us.. we didnt hear him.. he crawled over us..never said a word. Got a chair.. and opened the chain lock.. went right outside to feed the horses. He got a bucket with a handful of feed..and got in the STUD pen. He was walking around wild unbroke stud with a feed bucket.. oh I cried and cried. I had never been so scared in my life..but thank GOD..that GOD woke me up.

It was a lesson for me.. I felt so bad. We changed locks.. to a dead bolt that he couldn't work..and even put locks on the corral gates so he couldn't open them..

We aren't bad parents..we just have smart kids!

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I should have added this first Tay has tried to go to the arena to get her daddy or to the cattle pens (about 1/2 mile down the road) to go see a calf-thankfully I have always caught her!! Walmart has a pack of 4 alarms for windows and doors for around $15 they sound when they come apart but you can turn them on and off...I think as long as you show dfs that you are making an effort to correct the problem you will be just fine! Dh coming home when they get there is a wonderful idea and shows that you are both concerned parents!

jcc64 replied: I hope by now you realize that although it was a scary episode, and your little guy most definitely had an angel on his shoulder during his little "walk", it is by no means evidence that you are bad parents. I'm so glad he's ok, and I'm certain DFS will conclude it was all a terrible mishap. I know there are childproofing products that you can put on your doorknobs to prevent this sort of thing- but tbh, I've never used them either, so don't feel badly. I'd never even heard of them until I saw them at a friend's house recently. And my oldest is 13!

3xsthefun replied: Omg! That is very scary! You are not a bad parent. I'm glad that he is ok!

Mom2Boyz replied: Well, Someone from DFS called a little while ago and asked me what happened. He was very nice about it, and when I told him what had happened he said that they would still have to come out and make a "Visit", but not to worry about it. He said they would mostly just see what we have done to keep it from happening again, and see if there are any more preventitive measures that we can take. Apparently they're not too worried about it because they're not comming until next Tuesday.
I went this morning and got a lock for the door, and when I go to wal mart tomorrow I'm going to get some of those alarms that punkeemunkee'smom was talking about.
Thanks again everyone

holley79 replied: Amy Sweetie. I work for the Sheriff's Office. You are a wonderful parent. It was a simple mistake. We have one mother, that still has her 2 year old, that never keeps an eye on him. He has been found several times near the INTERSTATE!!! Talk about a freak out. We pulled the same things on my mom when we were little and I know it scared her, then mad her

You and your husband are wonderful parents!!!!!!