Desperate Housewives - bf

BabyOwen427 wrote: Did you see Desperate Housewives lastnight? What did you think of the woman who was still bf her child, at 5 years old!
I thought that was a bit extreme, and was appalled when she was doing it to 'keep her figure'.
If she wanted to bf, for the sake of bf-ing, that's one thing, but to go for that long just to loose weight is selfish. JMO

What do you think?

mckayleesmom replied: Well, I don't watch DH, but I did catch that part while waiting for Greys Anatomy. I did think that was a bit selfish.....If she was doing it for nutrition reasons...then that would be one thing, but because it was ..how did she put it "30 minutes of cardio" was just selfish.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Well, I could personally not do it. In today's society, in North America anyways, I think 5 years old is a little extreme to still be breastfeeding. In many cultures, it's natural for children to breastfeed until 3 or older... especially in underdevelopped countries...it's a good nutritional source for kids... but still.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I think you may have opened up a can of worms. I don't want to say too much on this subject for fear I may get tomatoes thrown at me. In general, I don't think we would be given teeth as infants and the ability to chew food and drink from cups by a certain age if we were suppose to be BF longer than infancy. I didn't see the episode, and I'm glad I didn't. I would have had to turn it off.

This remind me of a story. A friend of mine was in a restaurant. There was a family eating next to them that had about a 3-4 year old boy. First, the boy was drinking a Mountain Dew. Then, he asks for a drink of milk. I'm sorry...if he can ask...come on! Anyway, she lifts up her shirt and he starts sucking away. First of all...even if it's for nutritional reasons...he had a MOUNTAIN DEW!!! I don't get where the thinking is on that one! Ok, BF for nutrition supposedly, then giving your child a MD?!?! She had to been doing it for selfish reasons if he is allowed MD. It's a no-brainer. I'm not necessarily against 'giving' a child breastmilk past infancy, but come on...pump it and put it in a cup then! Children can drink from sippy cups at an early age.

Just my opinion...no tomatoes please!

C&K*s Mommie replied: I just wanted to use that smilie, nothing personal against you Jennie.

I have no opinion on this topic (my classmates were talking about bf of older children just last week-- I stayed out of the subject), but to each his own.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I was waiting for someone to post that smilie! I would rather it be you Nicole if someone is going to use it on me.

On a side note, a friend of mine BF her younger daughter til she was almost 2. I don't judge her. Do I agree with her? No, but she's still my friend. 4-5 though...hummm...personally that would raise some questions...

My2Beauties replied: Um...well a lot of people on this board have BF well into I know at least nearly 3 years old, I don't know that anyone did it past that. I'm not going to say anything about their choice, that woman's reasoning was a bit extreme, I think most parents do it 'til that age for their own comfort and the childs, that's just my honest opinion. I personally couldn't do it past the age of 7-8 months, but that is because of teeth coming in and my own personal reasons. Just a fair warning though, some probably won't reply to this thread but there are a few people on this board that breasfed long past infancy, so I'm just letting you know.

A&A'smommy replied: well I personally don't see anything wrong with bfing past infancy.. I think it totally different for everyone I personally couldn't do it until my child was 5 (2 or 3 is one thing and would not bother me) but anyway I think it totally depends on the person and it IS a personal choice.

kit_kats_mom replied: I saw this episode last year.

I'm not going to go there but I will say that when the time comes that you think you "should" wean your baby according to society's standards, you may rethink the whole extended breastfeeding thing.

Personally, I see no reason to put a kid through the trauma of parent led weaning just to satify someone else.

The weight thing was pretty stupid though.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I don't think anyone should fear anyone else's opinions. It was asked, I responded, everyone has the right to answer how they feel, without attacking someone else's post. I don't mind if someone else agrees or disagrees with me, that is what makes our world go around!

Also, when someone posts their opinion, it doesn't mean they are judging others for having a different opinion. It's meerly that, an opinion. If there is someone here who is BFing their 4 year old I could care less if they do that, it's their right. More power to them. I personally, don't agree with it, but I'm not going to blast them for doing it, or get nasty or anything. That's not what opinions are suppose to be about.

CantWait replied:
I was going to do the same thing. You beat me to the punch Nicole. LOL.

All I'm going to say on this subject is

Boo&BugsMom replied: Ya know, when I made that tomato comment, I even had that smilie in mind! LOL!!! Ha ha!

Jeffs Wife replied: I didn't see it last night, but I did the first time it was on and IMO it is just wrong. I never BF but I think women who BF their BABY's and INFANT's are doing a great job. But come on if a kid can ask for a drink I think he is too old to BF. Especially for the reason this women was giving, it made her slimmer, give me a break. That's just wrong.

I really hope I didn't offend anyone, this is just how I feel

gr33n3y3z replied: I knew someone who BF their kid until like 4 years old
I thought it to be strange but then again I was only 14 at the time lol
She was my boss.

3_call_me_mama replied: Ya know I gotta shake my head at this whoel conversation.
it really makes me sad that paretns are so quick to tell other people what is good for their children in regards to nutrition, comfort and independance. I'm really not going to add my whole opinion due to the fact ath I won't bite my tongue and would likely get booted off hte board, asd there are some of you that i love dearly and dont' want that to happen. It's not for fear of anothers opinion, it's because when i am really passionate about something I can get carried away and feeling can get hurt and I'm not gonna go there.
That said, and without turnign this into a debate, I have a few questions.
1) my children were both about 9 month old and could as for a drink, wether it be to nurse or to have a cup of a drink. Should I have weaned my child, simply for the fact that he/she could ASK for something? Becuase they had developed language early???? What if they never spoke and were mute? would you feel differently?
2) I see children as old as 3-4 years old toting bottles with milk water or whatever in them. They clearly can ask for a drink. Even at 1 year they may be able ot ask for a drink.. is it my place or anyone elses to tell that parent to stop giving their kid a bottle???? NO
3) Nutrition. Several babies and children are on formula or pediasure type things until they are 4-5 years old. Sometiems longer. Mothers milk offers teh same food source naturally, why shoudl a breastfed child be denied that nutrition and given somethign artificial simply to please society?
I agree that the woman's reasoning is the show was a wrong reason to be breastfeeding. AND quite honeslty that is why so many people have such shaded views on extended breastfeeding, stupid media publicity and television shows that people watch and think "oh so that' swhy they do that" and that one ignorant person in teh show sets teh stage starts teh belief that extended breastfeeding is to help a mom lose weight. UM NOPE! Sorry doens't work that way. Not every woman who breastfeeds will lose weight doing it.. but hey if that campaign will sel peopel on breastfeeding than by all means.. imagine how many babies will benefit from that decision.. it woudl be great!! I'm gonna shut up now

Jamison'smama replied: My son can clearly ask to nurse (at 19 months), so could Jama and they had most of their teeth before they were weaned. That reasoning doesn't make any sense to me (IMO). My son had teeth at 6 months and could use a sippy --so with that reasoning, a parents should stop nursing and pump or give them formula for another 6 months or more? Again, we are teetering on bashing other women for choices they make--I work very hard not to say things about women who decide not to breastfeed although it is one of my biggest passions--we all make choices and we need to work together to support other women. I just seems we are out to destroy each other and the media loves to stir that pot.

This kind of topic can get VERY heated and usually is not a healthy argument. It leads to (and already has) to stating "our opinions" on a topic that is very personal and really none of anyone else's business. It is ridculous to step on toes in that way and say what women should and should not do on this topic--even if it is just opinion. I hope that stops here.

BTW, I only wish it was still cardio at this stage---again, uninformed writers.

Boo&BugsMom replied: I think a few of you are reading way too much into some other posts. It's one thing to disagree or agree with something, but it's another thing to go into a 'what if this, what if that scenerio'. That's just ridiculous, to be honest. That's what starts an arguement and people getting defensive and starting to debate, rather than just sharing opinions. People are entitled to any opinion they wish, regardless of their reasonings. If you disgaree with something, then just state that you don't agree or that you do agree and why. We don't need to get irrational and get up onto the "what if's" just because someone sees something differently than ourselves. We're not made from cookie cutters and we don't all think alike. Aren't we adults here? Come on...

Jamison'smama replied: When you state strong opinions like this --

In general, I don't think we would be given teeth as infants and the ability to chew food and drink from cups by a certain age if we were suppose to be BF longer than infancy.

and this --I'm not necessarily against 'giving' a child breastmilk past infancy, but come on...pump it and put it in a cup then! Children can drink from sippy cups at an early age.

You can expect that such strong opinons can call forth equally strong reactions. By now, we all know that stating a strong opinion on a controversial subject is going to lead to strong opposing statements. It happens every time. I will state it again--I cannot believe we cannot support other women in such issues---we are not talking about abuse--we are talking about breastfeeding a toddler. The controversy for me wasn't about the 5 year old--for me it became so when the age was changed to infancy.

Boo&BugsMom replied: I'm sorry to sound harsh, but if you can not handle reading someone else's opinions that do not coinside with your own, then that is not my problem, or anyone elses. It's ridiculous. I'm sorry you feel the need to get defensive, but people are entitled to their own opinions, even if they aren't your own, no matter how radical they are. Even though I have a friend who BF her 2 year old and I love her anyways, it doesn't mean I have to like her choice. Do we always agree with everyone's choices in life? Let's be realistic. I'm sorry to have offended anyone, but for one, I am not the only one with that opinion, nor the only one that stated that here. Second, I NEVER singled anyone out for having a different opinion than mine, meerly stated what 'my' opinion was. Do you think I agree with everyone's opinions around here? No, but I'm not going to blast them out of the water for it. State you disagree, that is fine. But you don't have to act like everyone should agree with what your opinion is, which is how it seems.

Jamison'smama replied: Come on, it doesn't need to get nasty. I was explaining that when a person has a strong opinion, there will always be an opposing opinion! For whatever reason, it seems as though you don't want a reaction from others on things that you write. There are plenty of people who share your views and others who don't--when you state an opinion, I don't understand why other's can't reply to it. You are not the only one who made that statement--I only quoted yours because you responded. Belive me, I have certainly made statements that were countered. It is the nature of a board and controversial subject matter.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Just to add...did anyone here say that anyone who BF's their child past infancy is a bad parent, a horrible person, etc.? No! If it came to that, then there is reason to get defensive, but come on. Just because someone doesn't agree with BFing their child past a certain age, doesn't mean they are saying anything more than just that.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I wasn't trying to get nasty in the least, sorry you took it like that. I took your post as you were really upset that people are disagreeing on BF older children, that is all. Like it's horrific that someone doesn't agree with it, like you took it very personal. If you didn't mean it like that, I apologize. But, how you wrote it seemed like you were pin pointing what I was saying. The way you worded your posts seemed like it was typed out of anger. I have said earlier, that if someone else does it, more power to them. I don't have to agree with it, but it's their choice. I am fine if people want to post about how they BF their older children, but it doesn't mean I will agree with it, but I most certainly will not demean their choice or their opinion.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Ok you guys.... really!!

I don't agree that if a child is old enough to ask, they should be weaned... because my now 9 month old could ask for a drink at 6 months old, thanks to sign language, and body language.

This has nothing to do with whether she should have been breastfeeding the child in the first place... it's the reason behind her breastfeeding him. Just because it helps her keep her figure. Gross. Come on. I wouldn't want my child sucking on my breast just so I could keep a nice shape....

Jamison'smama replied: I will say this again and leave it at that. My entire point was that we, as women, and mother's need to stop judging each other on decisions that are made. It is absolutely fine if someone disagrees on how long THEY will breastfeed THIER child or if they do it at all--but when it is stated as though there is an obvious right time to stop it changes things. A statement on views about your own child are fine---but it's the blanket statements that start to turn things into a debate vs a conversation. I certainly realize this is a hot button for me and that's why I will stop.

coasterqueen replied:
Can I ask you one thing, if you don't mind that is? What do you think God intended for women to do with breasts? My inquiring mind wants to know. I mean, you do know that Jesus was breastfed, don't you? Do you think the milk was pumped and he was given a cup when he got teeth?

Maddie&EthansMom replied:

I don't know...are we?? I mean, does it bother you that much to see a child drinking milk from a breast instead of a cup? That's what they are for. There's nothing disturbing about it.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Again, with the overanalyzing. I am not going to say anything more because it's just ridiculous how some people want to overanalyze someone's opinion and put words in other people's mouths. I'm going to be a bigger person and walk away. Did I say it bother's me that a child is drinking from a breast rather than a cup? Please. Don't read into someone's posts's more than intended. Enough said.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Again, did I even mention a specific age? Did I specifically say that when a child get's teeth that they SHOULD be drinking from a cup? Those were NOT my words. Please don't read into someone's post's more than what they intended. Furthermore, did I even say I didn't care for breastfeeding? I plan on breastfeeding my next child. I probably wont past the first year, but for crying out loud...we were talking about a 5 year old breastfeeding...big difference!

I'm done repeating myself...

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
Ok - I have to respond to this.

Jennie - you have very strong opinions... and that really is great, good for you for being not afraid to share them. I respect people that feel confident enough to share their beliefs without fear of being blasted for them.

But to tell someone else that they are overanalyzing is a little rude, especially after most of your own posts are rebuttles and analyzing other member's reponses, as well as sometimes being condescending of their opinions, even if it's ever so subtely.

I suggest you review the terms of service.

3_call_me_mama replied: When it comes to a parental decision I think that age shouldnt' be a factor. Each paretn does what they feel is right for their child. Some sleep in bed with their paretns until almost adolescence, some wear diapers until schoolage, wether it be day or night time. To put a time limit on things such as these above and breastfeeding, it really is all about opinion and each person IS entitled to their own and REALLY NEEDS to respect those of others wehter they agree or not. Age is just a number, wether it be a 5 year old or a 1 year old... does anyone here have a 3 year old identical (or even close to identical ) to another three year old here or elsewhere? Not that I know of. WHat may be good for me and my 5 year old may not be for you and your 5 year old.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Where have I read into someone else's posts? I'm not overanalyzing, I'm simply responding to posts that are telling me that I posted something that I didn't and taking my words out of context, big difference, in my opinion. Sorry.

kit_kats_mom replied:

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
You should reread your posts in this thread.

kit_kats_mom replied:

if you do not mean to come off as a debate monger, you may want to consider either re wording your posts so that they aren't as harsh or maybe using smilies to show when you are being sarcastic/joking etc. It could be that we are all misinterpreting your posts. It does seem that you have caused controversy in many threads that in the past have been quite tame.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I'm only quoting this because this is what I am trying to say...I NEVER said I didn't respect other people's decisions to do otherwise. Where did I specifically type that? Did you even read the post about my friend? Just because I don't agree with it doesn't mean I don't respect her decision, and just because I didn't type it doesn't mean I think otherwise. Do you get my point now?

coasterqueen replied:
Actually you did say an age. You said "past infancy" - that is an age of older than 12 months. That is why I asked the question. You also mentioned when they get teeth. My daughters got teeth at 4 months of age. Others get them lot later. It would have been much different if you said a 5 year old should get a cup, not actually breastfed, but you didn't .

Hillbilly Housewife replied: It is completely possible that your posts may have been interpreted... God knows mine have been criticised in the past too sometimes. Cary is right - a good way to make sure others don't get the wrong impression is that if you're not sure how to word it... say so!

coasterqueen replied: BTW, I totally agree you are entitled to your opinion, as in debate everyone is. The only reason why I asked you the question about God and breasts and such is because of what you stated below here:



That statement right there got me curious on how you can say that when we were given breasts to nourish our children. That is one beautiful GIFT God gave us to give our children the best. The milk is designed especially for our offspring. I do not believe God gave them to us just for that very short time. Like I mentioned some babies get their teeth very early.

For me, personally, this is why I asked you the question. I do not think you should be offended by my question as I'm not reading anything into anything. I simply asked the question due to the sentence you said above.

Yes, you are entitled to your opinion, but I'm entitled to mine and I don't think we were given breast just to breastfeed for that small amount of time. I wonder how long Jesus was actually breastfed?

kit_kats_mom replied:
I would guess he nursed a very long time. It sounds like he was so well adjusted.

gr33n3y3z replied: Very well said Karen

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I'm sorry. I think I am just not explaining myself correctly, therefore, things are getting taken way differently than I intend them to be. It happens a lot on message boards with many people because it's hard to read things when people are not physically "saying" them.

I don't want to say anything more for fear I will not be able to explain myself the way I intend. I think it's gotten heated enough, which was not my intention. I don't want people to think that I am going to judge them for doing something I don't agree with, which is not the case. I don't meant to come off judgemental in the least.

So, please extend my apologies, but also understand that many times it is hard to convey someone's message in it's entirety when you read them angry or take them personally.

So, let's drop it, so no more words are taken wrong...please.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Thank you, and I will remember that. With all due respect though, it's a little hard to try and explain yourself when you feel people are attacking you, or when people are assuming. It can go both ways as well. Like you, asked a question (or it may have been Karen, I'm not sure), which is much more appropriate. Other's assumed and attacked.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Jennie - I've been re-reading to try to get your meaning.

I think you're trying to say that if the child was old enough to be able to have Mountain Dew in a restaurant, that in your opinion, the child should have been able to have breastmilk in a sippy cup rather than still "on tap".

And I think you're trying to say that if the child can eat and drink properly (as in, small bites, chewed properly, on their own), once having all teeth in, that they should be able to be weaned from the breast if their nutritional value is met through enough other foods. Like, if the mom is just breastfeeding the child because she likes it, or because of the weight issue.... rather than breastfeeding them to give them nutrition. Which comes back to Mountain Dew... if the parents think the child is getting enough nutrition to be able to have a Mountain Dew, then he doesn't need the nutrition from the breastmilk. But that if the child needs nutrition from breastmilk, then by all means breastmilk it is...

??

Boo&BugsMom replied:
THANK YOU!!! I'm glad someone went back and tried to gather it all, rather than just reading an individual post and assuming. I really don't understand the concept of the child getting a MD, then he goes and, like you said, gets the milk "on tap" nonetheless at 3-4 years old? Doesn't make at all much sense to me I guess. Kind of defeats the purpose of him drinking breastmilk when he's getting a MD.

Kaitlin'smom replied: did you all know Mountain Dew does have Orange Juice in it?

just a weird fact....

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
I think it's more that as Mod I try to be fair, and so I wanted to feel comfortable that I tried to find the reasonig behind what is going on here.

And I'm satisfied that things were just mis-written, mis-read and mis-replied by some.... and so if we could now just leave it at that. The dos and donts of breastfeeding is a very hot topic... and as a long time member, i can say that i recognize those who have the subject near and dear to their heart, and i know that they don't attack - they just try to seek the reasoning behind the difference in opinion on the subject, be asking questions, and by asking for explanations on what is posted.

Thanks everyone!

gr33n3y3z replied: very strange bc you cant taste it lol

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
it also lowers sperm count...

Kaitlin'smom replied:
I have heard that but do they actually have proof that you know of? Hummm does make me wonder about something though....anyway both weird facts and when i learnd it had OJ in it I was like thats why it tastes so weird to me.

3_call_me_mama replied:
This wasn't directed at you, more of a thought in general. Just wanted to clarify. And i also wanted to add
a little bit of insight on breastfeeding for more than a nutritional purpose. It may not be a woman's desire, simply the child's desire. A lot of children(infants, toddlers, babies and preschoolers as well as soem older children) comfort nurse. It is a bonding process that they have with their mother. It is also, IMO< another paretnal decision. Allowing children to comfort nurse in some peoples minds is equivalent to allowing them to have a pacifier. They are fed from the breast and have a natural comfort there, it only makes sense (as far as nature is concerned) that they woudl seek comfort there as well. Wether it be to fall asleep, when they are scared, upset or whatever reason. Several places that I have read (can't remember exactally where) it is stated that breastfeeding should continue and is beneficial to the child as long as both mother and child are comfortable with nursing. (Meaning that neither has a desire to end the relationship) I will look and see where i read this from. It actualyl was told to me at a WIC appt once and by my PED but I have read it elsewhere too. So maybe the child's personality and their family structure/dynamics have a role to play in this. (Not necessarily teh Desparate Housewives story, but in real people that nurse past infancy)

Boo&BugsMom replied:
It's probably such a small amount, but they put it in because they want some way to make it sound ok for you... That's the manufacturers for you.

Thank you Carrie for that insight and information.

BabyOwen427 replied: Wow, I knew this was a hot topic, I was just kinda shocked to see that on tv, but that was the point of the show. Shock value.

I personally am going to let my son bf for as long as he wants, but I will draw the line at nursing in public at a certain point. But, I don't see a problem with bf a child at any age, I think it would be best to leave it at home when bf an older child. JMO.

I hope this topic didn't strike such debate that feelings were hurt. Thanks for the feedback though. I enjoy reading all the various thoughts on the subject.

CantWait replied:
Oh Hun, I hate to laugh, you opened a whole other topic here.

Just so you know I totally believe in God and Jesus, but for others, I'm just shaking my head thinking what I may be about to read in future posts.

CantWait replied:
Great I got my Vit C today