Discipline - whats your form....

moped wrote: what form of discipline do you use and does it work for you??

I use time outs for what I consider bad things.........ignoring for annoying things and I throw valuable toys away for really bad things - they are gone forever...

sparkys2boys replied: We use time out alot, sent to your room, loseing tv, or computer and when the toys don't get picked up they get pitched(only some) or taken away in a garbage bag until they earn them back.

moped replied:
How long does it take them to earn things back?

My sister does that but I just throw it out and it is gone in the Tuesday garbage

Anthony275 replied: my mom did nothing except yell at me really

sparkys2boys replied:
It depends on why that lost it. If it is major like fighting, hitting or sassing me back they losr puter for 1 week. If in that week they do the same thing they lost it for, then the week starts all over. Yes, I am maybe to strict to some but I also have very polite, well mannered kids that normally don't fight alot. So, I think I am on the right track..lol.. most days

moped replied:
I have been known to yell on occasion!

sparkys2boys replied:
Ummm.. yea..lol!!!

stella6979 replied: We do timeouts as well and even though she'll scream the entire time she's there, she WILL NOT move. And if she hits people with any of her toys (mainly her drumsticks) they are taken away immediately and not given back until we decide.

moped replied:
Yeah i do that sort of thing too - and I have been told I am VERY strict, but I feel you ahave to be........we are the parents right

sparkys2boys replied:
Honestly I don' think that I am THAT strict with the boys. Well, don't ask them this but..lol. I do what workd for us and this seems to. I have also been known to give things back early for amazing behaviour, so it really works both ways. I don't use time outs so much as I do sending them to there room. All I have to say is march.... and they know I am not amused and they had better just go upstairs..lol

Calimama replied: Time out, time out, time out.

Anthony275 replied:
you don't seem to be the type that's so strict- say it aint so!

My3LilMonkeys replied: Mainly time outs - some yelling of course though I try not to . No cartoons sometimes, or getting their toys taken away.

One of the worst ones for my kids - if they're bad they get sent to play in their room. Even though that's where most of their toys are they hate to be away from the action.

AlexsPajamaMama replied: time outs
getting special privileges taken away...like playing on the computer, a movie after dinner...whatever will make a real impact. If he isnt really into the computer at the time then I wont use it as ammo.

moped replied:
I try not to yell often. As far as strict, I am trying my best to raise a wonderful, polite, social and a good boy who listens to his mother........

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: I use time outs. And mostly just the threat of losing a toy or 12 is enough to make him pick up. And I have given him a swat on the rear before, but only for stuff that I felt needed to be impressed on him. Like not running into the street, that is a no forgive thing.

redchief replied: Time outs and loss of privilege as they got older. It really does work in the long term. We rarely have to get tough with them today.

moped replied:
I hope I can say that when my kids are older.....

moped replied: I just thought of something.......Dr.Phil said one day that IF you are going to get into a fight or something with your child, make sure you win it! LOL....I try to remember that

Boys r us replied: Yeah, I live by that Dr Phil rule of thumb too Jen! Pick your battles wisely b/c you HAVE to win the ones you pick!

I have a wide age range of kids, for Tanner(11 yrs old)..I make him write me essays on why he did something along with loss of a priv. that is important to him. I introduced the essay when grounding b/c run of the mill to him..he HATES having to write for me!

Braedon (5yrs old)- he hates having to stand nose to the corner...omg..it infuriates him. So..that's what we do. Also, I will ground him from nick.com which is his new fave past time!

Allie(1)- I put her in her pack and play when she's out of control tantruming. She is the worst fit thrower I've ever seen! I don't put her in her crib b/c I don't want her to associate her crib with punishment. But we don't use her pack n play for anything besides time outs now. for just everyday "no-no's" with her..I try to redirect, but she's very head strong..VERY head strong..so it doesn't always work..but we try! hey..she's 1..I really wouldn't punish at all..but when she throws her fits(which is every 5 minutes now a days) if I don't intervene, she bangs her head against the wall or the coffee table or whatever hard surface is near by..so I put her in her "padded room" for 2 minutes until she can chill it out!! LOL

My punishments may not be 100% or foolproof or perfect..but I have 2 very good boys that I am always proud of when they are at school or out and about..so I think I'm doing okay. We'll see how the diva turns out!

A&A'smommy replied: depends

spankings (don't hate!!!), & grounding ... time outs do NOT phase her, but sitting in her room on her bed not doing anything makes her think that listening to mommy or daddy is a good thing!!!

Mommy2BAK replied: My mother in law always commends me on the way I pick my battles with Blakely , but with a strong willed 3 year old, you HAVE to be able to chose wisely. Blakely goes to stand in the corner for most things, more serious things get her t.v taken away, but thats only happened twice so far.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied: For the little kids, if it's not going to matter in the big picture, I don't worry about it. If someone is getting hurt, that is immediate removal from the situation and they get a talking to on why they cannot do that, and they stand in the corner until I'm done tending to the hurt one. They are then allowed to play, as long as they stay separated for awhile, until the one doing the hurting apologizes. It's always within about 5-10 minutes, and they are fine again after that.

For the bigger kids, we discuss it & explain why it was wrong etc., and we try to let them figure out what might be a better thing to do next time. They do get loss of privileges too. Live & learn!

I don't sweat the small stuff, I don't need the stress.

Our Lil' Family replied:
I have a friend with an 8 year old boy that does the same thing! She makes him write lines, always a positive..like "I will be polite" 25 times. Each time he fusses about it she goes up 5 lines....it's kinda funny to hear him and her duking it out about writing lines. And if they are sloppy he has to re-do all of them!

As for us....for now it's a mixture of spanking and time outs...sometimes just a warning is enough for him. Flat out defiance definitely gets a spanking. Tim and I are about to start a class at our church about discipline...I'm really looking forward to it.

TheOaf66 replied: well for minor offenses they are put in the hole

major offenses warrant either the wrack, 20 lashings, or 1 week of hammering rocks


well lets see

usually for minor things time out in the corner or sitting in his room on his bed

major things he gets stuff taken away (computer, tv, etc) and then banished to his room for the day

My2Beauties replied: I'm looking for suggestions because I have tried everything and nothing works on Hanna She is so controlling and strong-willed (the sad thing is she gets it from me )!!

Danalana replied: I haven't had to discipline, but I am a firm believer in spanking. NOT in the moment when you are angry, but later, when you can talk to the child about it calmly. Ummmm, this is if you know the difference between spanking and beating. People who don't should definitely use the "time out" method.

Teesa®© replied: I also try to praise good behaviour - a little overly to reinforce it - when they've been acting up.

For those having issues, have you tried a Sticker Chart? Write down the behaviours they have issues with and every time they successfully don't do what they're not supposed to [or do what they are supposed to], put a sticker on the chart. When they have so many stickers, they get a treat - something from the dollar store, help bake cookies, extra time on the puter, whatever you decide.

I took it one step further: I made blinkies - one red, one green - and made my chart on a website. They get a blinky instead of a sticker. I did it this way because, 1. I'm always losing the darn chart, and 2. it's more of a special visual for them because the blinkies are animated and flash. The green one flashes a happy smilie dude and the red one flashes a sad smilie dude.

jcc64 replied: I think what works with one kid doesn't with another, and that's the most critical piece of good parenting- being able to adapt on the fly. With the older kids, it's always about taking away the PS3 and/or the computer- it's their life blood. With Corey, all I have to do is let her know I'm disappointed with her- she just crumbles at the slightest hint of displeasure from me. Noah (12 yo), on the other hand, could care less if I'm upset with him, unless and until my anger contains tangible consequences. Every kid is different.

lisar replied: When Raygen pitches a fit I send her to her room and when she is done she is allowed out. I also use time out.

For Lexi I take things away like her 4-wheeler or going outside to play.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: We do time outs, spankings, and taking toys away - only temporarily though. He ususally gets it back later in the day, or the next day.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Now I know what goes on when I am at work. That's why you dug that big hole outside hey? Totally kidding people.

We use a mixture of a lot. Tanner has gotten spankings, but not very many. They worked at the time they were used. Time outs only work for Tanner if it is for a LONG period of time...not any of this "minute per age" stuff. He gets his stuff taken away and his priviledges mostly...Webkinz, computer, tv, and if we're really serious his music (which is his FAVORITE) gets taken away. Now that he writing, I think I may use that sentence writing next time. Hum...

Crystalina replied:
Hey! Those are the rules we go by also. Nothing like solitary confinement and bread and butter for dinner.


We to the time outs. Neither kid likes that. When they are really mouthy (like arguing while in time out) they get t.v. and computer taken away.

MommyToAshley replied: With Ashley I use timeouts. For more serious issues, she gets grounded, or the Xbox 360, computer, or Wii taken away. We don't have to use those often because she is a lot like Cory and will just fall apart at the thought of being in trouble. I always make sure we follow-up any punishment with a talk about why it was wrong and let her come up with some ideas on how to better handle the situation the next time. I think it's the most important part of the discipline, and it's also when I see the tears turn to hugs.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: We don't so much now, but it used to be time outs... on occasion still do.

usually an "excuse me?" is enough to get them to stop the action and apologize.

kimberley replied: for the girls, we use time out and no treats.
for the boys, grounding without video games, computer etc.
and always a talk about why they were punished and an apology.

i think i may steal the essay idea.

TrulyBlessed replied: Time outs don't seem to phase my kids, so we use the loss of privelages and spanking.

Bamamom replied: Depends on the offense and how many times it's been done that day. For example hitting - major offense. He is sent to his room. The next time he does it he get's a spanking. If he does it again (on same day) he is spanked and sent to his room. Thankfully he's never committed a major offense more than 3 times in one day cause I don't know what I'd do next!

We have a no yelling rule for us and the kids - the only excuse to yell is if someone is in trouble - ie running into the street, or if it's a sporting event, ect where you have to yell to be heard.

We also try to pick our battles. My friends think I'm nuts but he's allowed to jump on his bed, and throw balls in his room - I mean, he's a kid for goodness sakes! In a few years he won't want to do either of those things so why fight about them now?

danahas4monkeys replied: We do alot of timeouts, taking away privileges, the bigger kids do write sentences occasionally. We also do the occasional spanking, well I do lol dh is the good cop and I am always the bad cop, but to his defense he works midnights and sleeps all day so I am left to do it all! It really depends on the offense .

~Roo'sMama~ replied:
We're the same way - actually he's not realy *supposed* to jump on his bed because his toddler bed has wooden mattress supports and I don't want them to break, but I do let it slide a lot. He and Allie both love to jump on mommy and daddy's bed though - sometimes I take them upstairs just to do that!

We play ball in the house too... the only thing he's not allowed to throw in the house right now is the frisbee because it has way more potential for knocking something down or hurting somebody.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I didn't read through the whole post to see what others wrote...Which I SHOULD because I need big time pointers on discipline. I stink at it! Seriously. I try to do a little love and logic by giving the boys choices. This way hopefully they will THINK about the consequences of their actions, instead of just thinking "oh mom is mad again...For why, who knows, but she's mad". I want them to figure out for themselves why they should or should not do something. It's hard, especially at this age, but I'm hoping that it's sinking in some. I do yell A LOT, especially lately with the stress of the move. They are feeling the transition and they are acting out BIG TIME. So it's hard, but I give lots of 5 minute warnings and time-outs for hitting/stealing toys from each other/bad talking. I'm trying to make fun things, like an outing to the park, a priveledge to them...So if they act up, the privelege to go to the park goes away. Sometimes I use candy for good things, but I know that's a bad habit to get into. They are smart and they know how to weasle me out of candy if I'm frustrated and just want them to keep quiet.