Do i seem like a bag?

mummy2girls wrote: Im just wondering...because my sister phoned me last night and told me her hubby and her are seperating. And that she wants him out of the house they bought together(she is buying him out) and he wants to go back home(winnepeg). She said she wants me to move in with her.

I dont want to but she is in a big bind. She cannot afford to live in a house by herself as a single mom. she doesnt make that much. She has a lot of bills because ever since being with her hubby she got a new car and has 250.00 a month car payments plus 100 for insurance. plus many other things. I just feel bad im not helping..do i seem like a bad sister?

There are many reasons i dont want to live with her...I lived with her for 1.5 years so i know what its like. Its like im living with my mom. she wants to know where i am going, with who, when ill be back. and i f i dont leave a note for her she phiones everyone to track me down. she doesnt clean or cook so im left with all that to do. Ill end up being her live in nanny that gets paid nothing because she works shift work and at night. Ill have no time to myself. I cant have jennas dad over or to spend the night because she thinks its not good for her dd to see her auntie with a guy in bed. (but its ok to see her own mom with a guy in bed that is not her daddy). she has 3 bedrooms so the living arragment would be me in one room, our dd's sharing a room and my sis in the 3rd room. I would be ok with that but her dd wakes up at least once a night crying and calling for her mommy so that would interupt jenna and then ill be paturbed.

She says id be saving money if i moved in with her but in reality i wouldnt. Because i live in an apartment for 579 a month and have to only pay power phone and cable. with a house you pay rent, and all utilities so in actuality i probably wouldnt save much.

My big reason i dont want to is because i dont want to put jenna into a lifestyle not healthy for her. Her happiness and well bieng in my first priority. Being just me and her it quiet and more relaxed and jenna is much happier. plus my niece can get very bossy and mean and that im not wanting.

Is it bad for me to want to live on my own?i just feel like a bag not moving in with her.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Your'e NOT a bag!

I say don't move in with her, and these are my reasons:

First of, she always put you down while you were pregnant...always told you that you wouldn't be able to do it on your own. Yet here you are, and yuo're doing GREAT. Why ruin a good thing? If it ain't broken, don't fix it.

Secondly - I think that you have adopted a lifestyle that is best for you and your child. Why would you put yourself in a negative situation? You come on ehere and vent about your sister - why would you WANT to go live with her? Seriously - think about it. Don't put yourself in a bad position.

She kicked her hubby out - meaning she's now on her own. It may be hard for her, yes, but she'll cope. Really. This may be the slap in the face or the kick in the butt that she needs to smarten herself up and do good. Isn't she the same person who doesn't even want the daughter that she has? That can't be healthy for the child - but you never know, all things happen for a reason. Maybe the dad will have custody? That way everyone is happy.... well the parents at least... I'm sure yuo'd miss your niece...

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh - and I don't mean to offend if I did - but I have no patience for impertinent people. Your sister has caused you alot of grief - but please stand your ground. If you don't, it will become a cycle - she will walk all over you, you will be miserable, and she will take advantage of you. Especialy if you live with her - she'll expect you to watch her daughter. Like she did with her husband.

Take care....and keep us posted.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I don't think you should move in with her and don't feel bad for not doing so. From what all I have read about her, it would not be a healthy situation for you. She seems to treat you terribly and that wouldn't be good for Jenna to see on a regular basis. JMHO!

mummy2girls replied: you werent harsh..i am glad you told me how you feel. i welcome everyones oppinion even if it is harsh.

mckayleesmom replied: Don't do it....You need to stop feeling sorry for her and her problems..They are HER problems. You already said that she is mean to Jenna..Why would you want her in an enviroment with her? She might be seperating from her husband and have alot of bills, but she should have thought about all this before she married this guy and didn't think it throught. There are alot of things she can do to make ends meet without you moving in. Tell her to sell her car. There is nothing wrong with a used car with cheaper insurance. I personally think your sister just loves to take advantage of you because you usually do it. Half the time she only talks to you when she needs something. What happens when shes mad at you and you live together..Maybe she won't come home. What happens if you get into a relationship with someone and want to move out....she'll be mad at you. I just wouldn't do it. Sorry...not trying to be harsh. I just think that she always wants you to come along and fix her problems...you have problems of your own Im sure.

mummy2girls replied:
That is why i am not moving in with her. She doesnt not treat jenna right and jennas happiness is more important that anything right now.

And i know how she is when she is mad at me and im living with her. I experienced it alot the last time. And i know she will make it difficult for me if i wanted to move out.

You werent harsh..thankyou for your oppinion. I am not moving in with her i told her no last night when she asked and will coninue to say nop. and if she makes me feel bad i just wont answer my phone as i have caller id..

mckayleesmom replied: Caller ID is a blessing isn't it?

Kaitlin'smom replied:
I could not put it better myself!

DONT MOVE IN WITH HER, Its not yor problem she kick him out, she need to deal with it on her own. I would hate to see your lives uprooted and unhappy just to help her out of the suitaton she made for herself. She maid the bed she must lie in it. It does not make you a bad sister, Jenna and you have to come first. No amout of saving money can be worth health and happiness.

Please consider this move carefully before you make a choice.


Of course I will say it again DONT DO IT!!!!

mummy2girls replied: dont worry guys im not moving in with her....jennas happiness is way to important for me...

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Good for you...and I'm glad I didn't make you upset. Some people don't like to hear it told how it is... lol

(I'm one of them....but I can accept criticism if I ask opinions, just not unsolicited. Lol! )

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I tried to post earlier, but Claudia wouldn't cooperate! I don't think you should move in with your sister. It does not sound like she really respects you. I don't think you would feel good about yourself being her live in maid and nanny! Especially if she isn't going to pay you. I would tell her if she wants to leave her DH than she should make sure she moves into a place that she can afford! I'm sorry you have to make this decission, saying "NO" to family is always so hard! But if you don't put your foot down things will only get worse!

aspenblue1 replied: Don't move in with her and you shouldn't feel bad for not moving in with her. She put herself in that situation and she needs to get herself out.

DansMom replied: I agree with everyone else, and you made the right choice. I think your sister has real psychological and emotional problems. She's abusive and self-destructive. She may need to hit rock bottom before she seeks help. If you moved in, she would find a way to transfer all her self-hatred to you, thus delaying her own growth. I hope she figures it all out, I really do. I feel sorry for her, but it's you we care about, and Jenna! Congratulations for standing strong.

A&A'smommy replied: ITA i dont think you are a bag or anything like that!!! i think she is very lucky to have you as a sister but i dont think you should move in with her!