Do you think it is ok to BF at a dance recital?
MamaMartie wrote: Hi Everyone
Meggie (our 4 year old) has her dance recital tomorrow night , and we're all going including the in-laws. I think it is perfectly fine for me to BF at the recital. It will be pretty dark and I doubt anyone could even see what I was doing, and it is much better to feed Hannah than let her cry. My mil "suggested" that she stay home & give Hannah a bottle. But I don't want to do that. I am not ready for Hannah to take bottles, unless it was some dire emergency. I don't think a dance recital constitutes an emergency, and I don't see how Bfing a 7 week old at a recital (in an auditorium) could be offensive to anyone. I really think she is making her "suggestion" b/c my fil is mortified any time I BF in my home & he is here. He thinks I should hide in the bedroom. 
I really do love my in-laws, and this is one of the first things we haven't seen eye-to eye on that I've felt the need to not give in for the sake of family harmony. So what should I do? I plan to wear a tank top with a built in bra under a button down shirt, which should make it next to impossible for anyone to see what I am doing in a dimly lit theater. That should cover any "embarrassment" factor my in-laws have. Normally, I am shy about feeding Hannha in public, but even I don't feel self concious in this setting. Am I right?
Thanks in advance for your advice!
Hugs,
amynicole21 replied: Personally, I think it's fine to bfeed anywhere. Of course, I am too self conscious to really do it in a big group of people - but, I'm working on it!  Maybe, in order to make FIL feel better, you could sit towards the back of the room and feed her? Though I hate even suggesting that because it makes it seem like it is a shameful act.  Guess I haven't been that much of a help! 
MamaMartie replied:
[QUOTE]
It is in a theater and we have "assigned seats." I think I would have to leave the auditorium totally. Well, come to think of it, maybe not if there were empty seats in the back. I was going to have him sit in the seat furthest from me. There would be 5 seats seperating us. I really don't think he'd be able to see a thing.
Ugh! I am totally stressing over this. 
Kaitlin'smom replied: Go for it!  I feed Kaitlin anywhere and everywere needed. Sounds like you will be covered so no one will probably even have a clue your feeding her!
jcc64 replied: With all due respect to your FIL, this is his issue, not yours, and definitely not your little baby. I BF at my DS's baseball games, in broad daylight, as well as basketball games, movies, restaurants, wherever we happen to be. I'm as respectful and discreet as possible, but I will not apologize for something that is as natural as breathing. If it makes your FIL uncomfortable, perhaps he should be the one to leave the recital.
Sorry to sound so militant, but you can and should be able to do both things at the same time w/o having to feel bad about it. Good luck
Jeanne
victoire2002 replied: Ridiculous!! You should go, enjoy the performance and bf your baby. I have BF'd everywhere, and i mean everywhere. I went to Paris for 6 wks and did it in parks, chuches, cafes and restaurants. No one looked at me, and most people were very nice about it.
Some people have an outdated point of view about breasts. They are for nourishment, not for ogling! it's the most natural thing you can do with your child, and it's acceptable to do anywhere you feel right having your child.
Just my 2 cents!
victoire2002 replied: Sorry if I came off wrong, but I get riled up when others get puritanical about breastfeeding. I understand what you're feeling, but I agree with others---respectfully your FIL should leave the area if he has a problem with it. My aunt actually asked me to leave the living room one day to feed Aidan!!! She couldn't bear the site, I guess!!
Vicki
Julie (jem0622) replied: Go and enjoy that recital AND feed your baby in public! Old fuddy duddies! Just bring a blanket and drape it over your shoulder and then over the baby.
Do not feel ashamed of nuturing your child! It is a natural thing!
Julie
Schnoogly replied: I totally agree! I have done it at work, in front of my friends, in front of many many doctors and nurses. I've even leaned over the table when iain was getting an echo with my boob bumping the tech's hand...didn't care as long as my babe was happy! I'm not very modest though.
Steph
Susan replied: I think you should do it. I think breastfeeding is beautiful no matter what age. Screw your MIL. She had her chance.
Mommieto2Girls replied: I agree with everyone else, go have a good time and feed your baby when she is ready to eat, if FIL has a problem then he should be the one to leave not you. I would ignore all comments made and go about your own business. You do what's right for you , nobody else.
MommyToAshley replied: Go to the recital and BF your baby. I think it is very generous of you to offer to sit five seats down from your FIL, although you don't have to, I think it is a great compromise and everyone should be happy!
shelrae00 replied: I agree too! I bf Sarynn on the airplane last week and only one person even paid attention (of course it was a guy in his 20s though! We all know they are are pervs) But on all of the flights no one even noticed or paid attention. I think sitting furthest from your FIL is all the effort you should have to make. If that is not enough to make him comfortable then he can move or stand in the back!
Shelly
supermom replied: And you are asking the woman who WOH and sits at her desk (with customers coming in and out) dealing with the public?? <J/K>
OF COURSE it's all right for you to feed her at a dance recital. It's alright for you to feed her anywhere!!! - especially with your attitude about it.....and if you are comfortable, she will be and so it goes....you should do fine - wear a shirt or something easy to cover up with and no one should even know what you were doing, like you said....
And I agree with everyone else, if your FIL has a problem with it, then he should get up and leave. However, if he's paying attention to what he SHOULD be paying attention to (your 4 yo) then he'll probably never know you are feeding her.
Boy, talk about a bunch of militant bf moms!! teehee - it's GREAT!!!!!
Oh, and Shelly (shelrae00), I am going to tell my DH (who is in his 20's) what a perv you think guys in their 20's are!! <J/K> - that was soooo funny!!!!
MamaMartie replied: Thank you so much everyone. Your posts made me feel better and even laugh about the whole situation. Sometimes I get myself so stressed out I can't think straight. Funny, I never even thought to tell my fil that he could leave or stay home if he was afraid of the embarrassment of me feeding in public.
It is so good to be able to post somewhere and get good advice & support. Thanks again
Hugs,
Mommieto2Girls replied: Be sure to keep us posted on how the show goes. Have a good time.
supermom replied: YEah, when you get back tonight, be sure to let us know how it went!! And I hope that you told them poohpooh on them!!! teehee
CantWait replied: well I guess you got enough words of encouragement so I'll just say GO FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hillbilly Housewife replied: So how did it go??
MamaMartie replied: I am sorry I couldn't post this weekend, but I have to let you know things went really well. It's an interesting story, so getb yourself a snack & enjoy.
I knew I'd have to feed Hannah during the recital, so I warned my dh & the in-laws before we left. I went tothe bathroom (my mil had Hannah)before we went in to sit down & they went in w/o me. So when I went in the theater, there is my family sitting in the very back of the theater b/c they decided "It would be better b/c of having the kids." I was flabbergasted. We had great ticket so the 8th row, and they were sitting in the 50th. I kept asking my mil & dh why we were sitting in the back when I wanted to actually see Meggie dance. But they kept saying sitting in the back would be better. And then to top it off my mil wouldn't give me Hannah! She wanted to give me "a break." What a load of BS! I really think it was b/c they didn't want me BFing her "in public" (give me a break it is a children's dance recital, not the moscow ballet).
So I sat there and stewed for about 10 minutes. Thinking about how I was the one who took Meggie to every dance class, how much I wanted to be able to see her while she danced, and now I was stuck in the back of the theater. I knew this was one of those things I'd be peeved about forever, and my dh would hear me complain about it for the rest of his life. I decided that the whole situation was rediculous, and I was going down to my seat to watch Meggie dance (she was the 6th act). I told my dh and the in laws that they could stay there, but I was going down to my seat. Of course, my mil wouldn't give Hannah up.
I got to see Meggie dance, and she was wondeful. She worked so hard all year. She loved being on stage and it showed. She was so good and I was very proud of her. After she was done, I went back to where the rest of my family was, took Hannah and proceeded to BF her for over an hour. Then I went back down to my seat for the finale. Meggie won a trophy for perfect attendance, and she was beyond excited. It was so cute to watch her & there is no way I could have seen her from the bakc of the theater.
My dh was shocked that I "whipped it out" in the theater. Like you could see anything! I told him it wasn't an easy thing to do in public, but since he & his family peeved me so much it actually made it a lot easier for me. I told him that I would be"whipping it out" whenever and wherever Hannah needed to be fed, and his family would have to deal with it. He swears that it doesn't bother him. I am not sure about that but if he has a problem he'll just have to get over it. It should be very amusing at Joey's b-day party next month. We're having an all day party here, so I'll be "whipping it out" all over the place with lots of people here. 
So I guess I am BFing for the long haul. Not only does Hannah bennefit, but I can annoy the you-know-what out of everyone by doing it.
Thanks for all your support!
Hugs,
MommyToAshley replied: All I have to say is "YOU GO!"
That is a great story!  I think it is awesome you didn't give in and you went down to the 8th row to see the recital! And, I am glad you didn't let in-laws ruin your day with your daughters!
You're attitude towards BF is great!
supermom replied:
YOU GO GIRL!!!!
That is so awesome, and I am so happy that you decided to go for it!!
Sorry that your FIL/MIL have to be such PIA but good for you!!
Can't wait to hear about the birthday party - teehee
Mommieto2Girls replied: Good for you, WTG. I am so glad you had a great time. Don't ever feel emberrised to BF your baby. That's what there their for. Have fun at the bithday party to.
ediep replied: Way to go! I was wondering what happened!!
CantWait replied: you whip it out girl LOL
amynicole21 replied: Good for you! It's amazing what a little spite can do for our confidence~ LOL!!
Hillbilly Housewife replied:
No kidding.... I thrive on Spite. It gets me moving! 
Way to go!!!
MamaMartie replied: [QUOTE]
You aren't kidding ladies. I've always found spite to be my best motivator.
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