Does your worth come from how clean your house is? - I was made to feel like crap today.

ma2many wrote: Hello, sorry my first post is such a downer, but I've been feeling like crap most of the day b/c someone's comments. Let's just say this whole month has been probably the most stressful months of my life. Anyway, I'll cut to the chase. I hired a cleaning team b/c i moved into a bigger house for my brood. For those who aren't familiar with post housing rules, regs etc, when it comes to clearing, they are pretty strict. The house has to look immaculate, like it was just built yesterday, the floors have to be stripped and buffed 4 times, to pass inspection. If the tub, sink etc, has a spot,you clean it then and there, or you don't pass inspection. If it is bigger than a spot, you have to rescedule,or you don't pass inspection, even if you paid a cleaning team. Anyway, I failed the inspect b/c the team I hired failed to clean some things or didn't clean it good enough. When I called the cleaning lady and asked for part of my money back, she went off on me saying the house was horrible, it was the worst house she's seen, and i was lucky they only charged me 400 dollars. Needless to say when i got off the phone with her, i felt the size of an ant.


Now I may not be the best housekeeper but I don't think I'm the worst either. My kids cleaned their bathrooms and bedrooms(deep cleaning) once a week, my livingroom and kitchen is always clean 95% of the time. I admit, my boys walls were terrible, and in the 3yrs we lived there, they have only wiped em down mybe twice. They also weren't the best bathroom cleaners(they have their own) but they do laundry, dishes,vacum, my oldest even cooks every now and again, I'd say they have a good amt of chores, more chores than most kids.

We also have two large dogs and more than 3 kids, so our house WILL looked lived in. I'm sorry but if I'm paying somebody to clean my house, why would I DEEP clean it before they came? Also, I have a hubby who is deployed and I was doing the work of two ppl, so forgive me if things weren't spic and span.


I called my friends and asked them if they ever felt like my house was dirty when they visited and they were like ''WTH? Uh, no''! I still don't know why I'm letting this eat at me, I have been in tears on and off all day b/c of her words. Maybe it's cuz I'm a SAHM, and i feel like my worth comes from how clean my house is.?

Thanks for letting me vent, my first post lol.

momofone replied: Welcome!

I am sure your house is fine don't worry about it

My3LilMonkeys replied: Welcome! Try not to let that rude person bother you - I know that's easier said than done, but IMO whether or not your house is spotless should be pretty low on the list of things to count your worth by.

My house is far from spotless. I have 3 kids and work full time; my DH works nights so when I get home from work it's just me & the kids. We do keep it picked up but deep cleaning is not as frequent as it should be - sitting here I can see cobwebs in the corners, window that could use a wash and my kitchen floor needs a scrubbing really badly. My attitude is pretty much anyone who doesn't like it can stay out! I know you don't have that luxury though with having to pass the inspection - good luck

mckayleesmom replied: I was just talking to Lisa about this. I told her last night that I would never live on post again if I could help it..They expect it to be in better condition then when you moved in.

Are you guys leaving? Because if you hired a cleaning lady...they are suppose to be responsible for the housing office and you are free to go...They will have to keep cleaning till the work is done. You just pay obvious damages...Like walls with marks that don't come off....we had t pay 100 bucks for them to repaint.

Did you go to your cleaning inspection meeting? They would give you a list of names contracted through them to clean....You are free to go once the initial inspection is over.

ma2many replied:
That's the tricky part Kay. They used to let you hire a cleaning team, and all the responsibility was on them. If they didn't clean it right, they didn't get paid, but you passed. Now, it's..you pay a cleaning team, if they don't do it right, YOU are responsible. If you don't pass, they charge you $898.00, that's THEIR fee to have maintenance clean. I needed my BAH,(i wouldn't get it till i cleared) so I had to absolve responsibility over to their maintenance team. They didn't clean the diswasher, the boys walls, and their tub good enough. Three of the carpets needed to be replaced, b/c of.... gasp.. a few stains. Nooooo...it's not good enough just to shampoo them, they have to replace the whole thing. So we had to pay just under two grand. Thankfully, it'll get prorated. This is what happens when the military privatizes and hires out civilian contractors. You get nickeled(thousands) and dimed(hundreds)

It was a local move btw. Post-to-post. You're right tho, never again will I live on post . Then again, we have in the past, and never had this sorta bad luck.

ma2many replied:
Thank you, and momofone. I just get really sensitive about what others think when it comes to my abilities. The way she went on just really made me feel like dirt. I can understand her getting defensive once I threatened to report her, or get half my money back, but I wasn't rude about it. What she called ''irrepairable damage, is what I call normal wear and tear over a pd of time. Actually I wasn't going to say anything until one of the guys said I should complain before they do it to someone else. I was just gonna suck it up.

Now, I find myself anal about not letting ANYTHING out of place. Hope I don't turn all OCD, now lol.

youngmomofone replied: Which post are you on??? I cleared housing over at Ft Polk just over a year ago and they just made sure we got everything out of the house, the carpet wasnt a disgrace, and we had all the blinds on the windows. Also put primer on the walls if there was any markings.

I live off post now, but I prefer on

luvmykids replied: If my worth came from how clean my house is, I wouldn't have any I do my best but by most peoples standards, it's probably not good enough. I have a DH who has been working out of town most of the last year and three kids....some things I just flat out refuse to do daily because really, what is the point? My kitchen and the bathrooms are always clean, but other than that there are no guarantees.

Of course I like it when we seem to be on a "clean streak", and I am aware that some people DO judge you as a mom/wife based on how clean the house is. But I have lowered my standards to some degree, I mean we DO actually LIVE here!

mckayleesmom replied: What branch of service are you in? We are Army and I have friends that are Army and still hire cleaning teams and leave.

ma2many replied:
Army as well. Trust me, I'm not making this stuff up lol. Not every post housing MGR is as anal as ours. I've been on posts where as long as there weren't any obvious damages, you passed, and cleared. Like I said they just recently changed the rules[here] to where you can't pass if it's not clean, even AFTER paying someone. However you can still CLEAR, you just have to pay their outrageous fee. I don't wanna mention what post I'm on. Small world and I'm a pretty private person LOL! My hubby says he's going to complain about it, b/c it's not right. I told him it won't do any good, they(Army) hired them and agreed to this system and changes. Of course I don't know how how he's gonna complain "over there''

mckayleesmom replied:
Did you pay her directly? Because we paid the housing office and for every day our cleaning lady's job wasn't complete..they docked 25 dollars. She didn't get paid till the job was done.

jem0622 replied: I am sorry that you paid all that $$ and you got negative nancy to go with it.


I do not measure my worth from how clean my house is. Why? Because my kids are priceless, can't be replaced. I'd rather have happy kids than a spit spot house. And I need some sanity left too. As the kids get older, then we can accomplish more.

redchief replied: My house looks like a hurricane just came through. I always said, "if you're coming to visit me, you're welcome anytime at all. If you're coming to visit my house, make an appointment - I may be able to fit you in in a couple of years."

If I ever went in to a home and told someone this was the worst plumbing I've ever seen, what do you think the odds would be of my ever being called to come back again? The lady from the cleaning business won't be in it very long if she keeps treating customers that way. In fact, were it me, I would be sure and share my experiences with the company to help them find another field to work in wherein they don't have to deal with people.

A&A'smommy replied: first of all she has horrible customer service and when your in a business where you deal with people you CANNOT treat a customer like that. I would NEVER even think of treating a customer like that. I'm sorry she talked to you so rudely It doesn't matter what your house looked like if she didn't like cleaning your house she shouldn't be in the cleaning business!!

ma2many replied: Thanks guys your support is encouraging. I guess in a small way I can see why she got defensive and went off, since i said ''if i don't get half my money i'll report you''....but anyway, trying to put all that negative energy behind me.


Kay, yes I paid the day her cleaning team came(she came later), and they gave me a receipt, what good the receipt does now, I haven't a clue, as it was a waste!!!

mckayleesmom replied:
On most posts that is a no no...You don't pay till after services are complete. You actually pay the housing company and they deduct for every day it isn't up to parr.

ma2many replied:
I know. What I think happened here, is that the cleaning ppl got so overwhelmed that they complained. If any one cleaner, or cleaning team gets 3 fails, they get pulled off the list. being that the mgr is overly anal(he had me try to get a 1/4 inc rust mark off of some piece of metal on top of the stove..ok, who's gonna look up there) The first list I got from the HMGR was two pages long, but when I got the updated list from housing it was only half a page long. Many of the names, no longer do it, and I'm assuming it's b/c they got canned. Like I said, it really wasn't so much the money(we are at a good place financially, and they are pro-rating it) but the feeling of being degraded! It was the equivalent of saying ''I was a bad mom''.

ma2many replied: ETA-Why can't you edit original post lol? I meant to say oven[inside] and not stove, but couldn't edit.

For those who are familiar, and still scratching your heads; this IS one of those posts where they have post housing "off'' post as well. I am ON post now, so the rules will be the standard rules when we leave, ie just have it ''standard'' clean,you don't have to pay a cleaner etc.

mckayleesmom replied:
I think after so many hours you can't edit anymore.