Donor milk?

MyLuvBugs wrote: Would you ever use donor milk? Our doula has told us that if I have a "supply" problem like last time that I can just go to this store and get "donor milk".....And for some reason I'm complete grossed out by that.

mckayleesmom replied: I would if it was a family member.

MyLuvBugs replied:
Yeah...if it was like my cousin or my sister or another family member I think I'd be ok with it...still a little grossed out, but I'd be happier than a total stranger. Not sure why?

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: They do screen mom's who donate. But I can see your point too.

CantWait replied: I wouldn't because I'm not comfortable with the idea.

Nina J replied: I'm not comfortable with the idea, either. Something about it just grosses me out.

kit_kats_mom replied: I would have some trouble with it and I'm not sure if I'd do it or not. I would think that since pumping is such a commitment, that the women who are donating are probably taking good care of themselves. I mean, why else do it if not for the good of babies right?

Donor breastmilk is the third best food for babies according to the WHO (Nursing, EBM, Doner BM, then Formula). And, if you think about it, it's what wet nurses were for back in the day. Of course, people did also lived without A/C back then and frankly, I'm not going for that. LOL

3_call_me_mama replied: I'm not sure. I dont' think i would be able to, not knowing what that person put into their body. I know what my child recieves when i nurse them, because i know what i put into my mouth,body etc. I know it's "safe" and tested and all that but I just couldn't get past that wonder factor.. Kinda why i don't use formula.. cause i dont' know what it used to be so to speak. I dont' necessarily find donor milk gross and I'm glad it's there for those that choose to use it.

coasterqueen replied: I never thought I could until I met someone on a BF board that gave her life pumping to help other mothers who desperately wanted to give their kids the best. She didn't even charge, so it wasn't a money thing. And the thing was Sharon was/is poor. I mean she barely scrapes to get by, her and her family. She also works full time. I just think she is what we were intended to be.......selfless. I never got to meet her IRL and we haven't spoke since Megan's birth, we both stopped posting on that board because of time and well...you know how that goes.

Anyways, the only thing she required was the person to meet her 1/2 way to pick up the milk or in some donor cases the cost to ship it to them. She would drive hours just to meet someone. I can remember stories of her rushing after work with her children to meet a flight to get the breastmilk on the plane for a donor-ee.

I could never be as selfless as she is. Now with all that yapping said, now that I've "met" someone like that, I'd take donated milk. I'd give it to my child if needed be before I'd give formula. Why? First off people ARE screened before they can donate milk. What is taking donated milk any different than having someone be a surrogate for you?

There are no banks around here and they are extremely few and far between in the United States. If I needed donor milk I'd find someone close to me, that I could go with them to all the screenings, etc, and that I knew their lifestyle very well. Heck, if Sharon was still pumping and I needed the milk, I'd ask her.

Anyways, that's my thought on the subject. Seriously, we let our children drink cows milk.....how can that really NOT be more disgusting than letting them drink donated milk? At least we can be in control of the screenings and the person we want to get the milk from. We have no control over what the cows are fed, how they are milked, the process the milk goes through, etc. And really, if you've actually looked at some of the things they put into formula and that they just kind of throw things together to make formula....well I see none of this any different. I'd take donated milk any day.

3_call_me_mama replied: Gee Karen, now that you put it that way...... The more I think about it the more I probably would. But I dont' think I could let my child nurse form another person nor could i nurse another person's child. But i'd be more thatn willgin to pump for someoen elses child If i could. And you mentioned surrogacy, that I could never do (well be one, not recieve a child through that)
But now you really got me thinking about that cow's milk thing..

And how awsome of that woman to do such a thing.. I only wish i could be as selfless.

mckayleesmom replied: I would still only use a family member....With a family member, you can see what they are eating and talk on a daily basis. You can't always know what the donor ate and if it is going to upset your childs stomach. Also, what if your child is allergic to something the donor ate.

coasterqueen replied:
Yeah, I will have to admit I couldn't do wet nursing or allow it for my child, but at least I'd have donor milk so it would be the next best thing.

As far as surrogacy, I don't think I could do that either. I know a lot of people are in to that though, so I was just trying to point out there really is a similarity there for those who might be having the issue with donor milk but not the other .

DH and I had a convo about this after Kylie was born and I told him if something happened to me I wanted her to have donor milk. He said he never thought he could do that, respect my wish, but that he would if it wasn't hard for him to pursue. Thank goodness I've never had to be in that situation (well him) but he at least knew just in case. It definitely would have to be someone that I knew their lifestyle inside and out, though, not necessarily a family member or close friend, but someone I could "see" what their lifestyle was on a daily basis, because even though they are screened..that's just a one time thing (unless you get it from a bank where it's screened every time).

coasterqueen replied:
Yes, but you can't know that even by what you eat. It's a trial and error sort of thing, which CAN be dealt with w/donor milk. IF your child is allergic to something they eat then you can deal w/that as well.

mckayleesmom replied:
Yes, but the origional post was about going to a Store to buy donor milk.....and in that case I wouldn't for those reasons. You don't know what was put in their bodies on a daily basis...kwim?

coasterqueen replied:
Ok, true...you got me there. I didn't even read the word "store".....now that...I couldn't do. Well that's not true, because it has to go through screening/testing too so I don't see how it would be ANY different than cow's milk. So I would STILL buy it in the store AFTER I did extensive research on the USDA's screening processes.

holley79 replied: Well Dec 31 of last year I ended up in the ER for a UTI. My milk had just come in and Annika hadn't had a drop of formula. I remember the nurse telling me I wouldn't be able to nurse Annika for 17 days. She did mention donated milk though when I became upset my child wasn't going to be able to BF. I did think about it and I was going to go with it. Fortunately for my own sanity my mom making some phone calls I was able to take an antibiotic and still nurse.

If it came down to it I would do it.

3_call_me_mama replied: I wasn't aware that donor milk could be bought at a "store" like a real store. I was only aware of milk banks, where you would purchase milk from and teh applicants are screened and i believe the milk has been pasteurised or something. (Don't quote me on that... I'll have to look up why I thought that.... but it wasn't like right from the tap milk. ) Not like going to get your groceries and picking up a jug of breast milk.... HMM off to research that

3_call_me_mama replied: Found it
It is pasteurized.... and you are screened for a bunch of things (just like when they screen you for donating blood) here's one link i found...
Breast Milk bank
and another with a lot of great info on it... what I didnt' realize was the perscription needed, according to this site..
Milk bank 2

coasterqueen replied:
don't you just LOVE how informed the medical profession is about BF? 17 days from Bf for a UTI?

coasterqueen replied:
interesting Carrie. Thanks. Yeah I didn't know you could buy it in the store either, but I pretty much bet like you found out that you would HAVE to be screened. They wouldn't just sell milk that way.

MyLuvBugs replied: It's NOT a store like a "grocery store". We have a store here called Milk works. They are strictly a breastfeeding store. Offering supplies, counciling, books, classes, bras, etc. Now they are getting large refrideration units and taking in donated milk for mothers that need it. That's why I said Store in my original post.....The milk will be pasturized, but it still isnt' something that I would ever do unless it was a family member. Sorry if that upsets anyone, but it just gives me the heeby-jeebies.

mckayleesmom replied: I just read the requirements to donate and I don't see anything about how they regulate their diets......How do you know the person you are getting the milk from is eating healthy....Being healthy doesn't mean you eat healthy.

coasterqueen replied:
Can't answer that for you Brianne, but I know my LC and friend who is a LC told me it's MUCH MUCH better for a non-healthy eating mother to Bf than it is to give formula, as long as the mother is taking some sort of vitamin, which will give the baby what they need. Why you ask? Well, because I had severe food phobias so I do not get a lot of the healthy foods most people do and so many vitamins give me and my BF babies what they need. My OB told me the same thing when I was pg.

Also, more than likely someone who is donating milk has a bit more common sense IMO If you met the type of people who donate milk they are selfless people and they lead good lives. Yes, they may not eat healthy 24/7, but do any of us? I mean, we are all guilty of eating crap while PG too . Of course there are badl apples in every bunch, but can you assure me cows are eating healthy? I can guaranty you a 100x that they aren't eating ONE ounce of healthy products, unless they are raised organic

MyLuvBugs replied:
First - Sorry, but that is just an opinion and not necessarily a "fact".

Second - There is nothing wrong with formula feeding a child.

I know plenty of formula fed kids that are healthier than BF kids and visa versa. So it's really genetics if you ask me.

Now, unless there is scientific evidence (that is NOT bias based in either direction) PROVING that one is better than the other 10 fold, you can't honestly make a statement like that and say it's "factual". There are benefits to both and downsides to both. And Donators can Lie about themselves and what they eat/drink, or what drugs they take, or alcohol they've consumed, etc.

I'm sure it's a great idea for some women, just as formula feeding is a great idea for others. But it's not the ONLY way and might not be the best way......

Brias3 replied: I don't know, I just don't think I could do it. Karen shared a wonderful story but I still just don't think it would be for me. I am sort of grossed out by the idea and can't say I'd go through with it, especially since I've formula fed three kids.

coasterqueen replied:
Actually there is a lot of 'evidence' out there to prove breastmilk is better but I don't have time right now to entertain your thoughts. Second, I never said there is nothing wrong with formula feeding, it is the 4th best way to feed your child. Plain and simple. I think this is why you posted this in the BF forum, isn't it? I'm allowed to say what I feel about BF vs. formula feeding, aren't I? So there is no need for you to get upset about it. I am only stating why *I* do not think it's gross to use donor milk. Isn't that why you asked the question? If you didn't want my opinions you should have stated that in your original post.

AND if you understand the concept of screening, etc as well as pasturization and homogenization you'd understand a person could lie through their teeth but couldn't get away with it. The screenings would catch it and pasturization and homog. kills the crap 100x over out of everything. Why do you think that's what they do to cow's milk?

Again, I could display evidence of how breastmilk IS best 100x and you are going to dismiss it, so I'm not going to do it. I don't think there's ANYTHING wrong with someone else formula feeding, it's just not for me and that's that. I'm just simply replying to your original post as to why *I* don't see donor milk as such a gross thing. You stated donor milk is gross....I think formula is gross. Enough said .

MyLuvBugs replied:
I'm glad you don't think there's anything wrong with formula feeding, and it's fine if you think it's gross. Doesn't matter to me. And again my original post was merely asking "would you ever use donor milk?" and then I stated my PERSONAL opinion that I thought it was gross and couldn't do it. I never asked if others thought it was gross. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Just keep an open mind though that not everyone is going to share the same thoughts and ideas as everyone else.