Expecting anytime, alone and scared... - Expecting in June
Tyesmom11 wrote:  Hello,
I am new to this website and am seeking out support from other mothers whether single or married, ones that may have been in my situation or not, all suggestions and help is greatly needed... My name is Michelle and I am the single mother of an 11yr old son, Tyeler, and am due June 10, with a little girl. The father left once I announced that I was pregnant and has not been around at all. I am in the process of getting child support for my son and will proceed once I have this baby. Instead of this being one of the happiest times of my life, it has been one the most stressful times. I work full time but the company I work for, does not offer paid time off for maternity leave and I do not have anymore vacation or sick time due to I had to use it up for bedrest for awhile. I have applied for assistance with the state but I make too much for assistance and not enough to survive on. I only needed the help for the 2 months I was off from work with my new baby. I will have no income at all and do not want to lose the roof over our heads, my car, insurance or utilities. The other agencies I have gone to, say that they will only help me if I am getting evicted or am homeless. I do not understand why it has to get that bad. I want to prevent my situation from getting that bad. So basically, I am one of the women that fall thru the cracks because no one will help me. I have been looking to work 2 jobs, even something on the internet but no one wants to hire a pregnant woman. Is there any hope out there? I keep hitting brick walls. I'm about ready to resort to holding a car wash or something to raise money for my situation. Is there anyone out there that may have any ideas other than what I have tried? believe me, I have researched and researched for months and have applied and called and written and emailed all that I've found.
I would greatly appreciate any words of wisdom or suggestions that anyone may have.
Michelle D. 
amynicole21 replied: Hi Michelle, I'm so glad you found us  I'm so sorry that you haven't been able to enjoy your pregnancy due to all of this crap  I wish that I had some advice, but I really don't know where you can go for more assistance. What a nightmare. I really hope that someone here has some advice for you - you shouldn't have to worry like this when you're pregnant 
CantWait replied: Hi Michelle  I'm so sorry you're going through all this. It should be one of the happiest times of your life. I don't have any advice for you. I just wanted to offer my support. 
Guest_angelhair replied: I knwo it can be a harrowing experience with all this uncertainty and confusion and like the others wanted to add to my suport and love. emotionally we are here for you so you do not have to be all alone. maybe you could talk to your peditrician and gyn for suggestions on what to do. they probably have resourses for parents in situations like yours.also, are there food pantries or even church organizatins that offer food usually once a month. when my husband and I had our son we could not have made it without all the free samples of formula that both the gyn and peditrician gave us. we to make to much on paper but not enough in reality even with me working part time!!! I cannot imagine being single love deee
MommyToAshley replied: I am sorry you are in such a tough situation, and have to worry about all that on top of being PG. I didn't realize that maternity leave pay was a voluntary thing, I thought it was law. I guess they just have to allow you so much time off, it doesn't have to be paid?
I agree with Angelhair, have you tried your local church? They will probably be more than willing to help or point you in the right direction, and they don't have all that red tape and strict guidelines.
Hang in there, things will have a way of working out... you'll see. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and please keep us updated on how you are doing!
Kirstenmumof3 replied: I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all of this right now! Is there anyone in your family that can help you until you get back on your feet again? Have you contacted WIC? I don't know what they can do for you, but it wouldn't hurt to call them. Offering you my support and prayers!
MamaKasie replied: Hello Michelle;
My 4 year old son and I wound up homeless for the last 4 months of my pregnancy with my twins. I finally received a settlement from an accident which happened a year prior to the birth of the babies (born May 15th). The settlement was just enough to get an apartment and buy some used furniture. My doctors nurse suggested that I get a doula to assist me with my birth, so I wouldn't have to go through the birth alone. Luckily I wound up with 2 wonderful doulas, who assisted me through the birth and they helped me hook up with other services after the birth. They performed their services for free and they found me free postpartum doula services. They had me call a pregnancy crisis line and they helped me with baby items and food and other necessities. Is there a pregnancy crises line in your area, and is there a non-profit doula services in your area, the doulas are so kind and helpful. 
I hope that things will work out for you.
Best Regards
Mama Kasie
Amelia replied: I just wanted to offer you my support and hope that you are able to enjoy at least a few moments of peace with your newborn!
My thoughts will be with you that someone out there, somewhere can offer you a shoulder right now
Take care.
jem0622 replied: I would find your local pregnancy aid/crisis center. You can at least get help there. Also, sign up for WIC. At least you'll have certain foods (milk/bread/cheese/beans). Contact local churches or your church to see what they can do. If you aren't going through your local health department then do so. My mother did when she was expecting my brother b/c they had a lot of medical bills (my oldest sister was dying of cancer).
How long have you been working at your job? How many employees does the company have? Because you are protected by the Family Medical Leave Act. That means you can take 12 wks after the birth of your child and they can't fire you or replace you. You are not entitled to pay if you have no leave but at least you know your job is safe.
HUGS
Jamison'smama replied: Big hugs to you---check into short term disability --my employment didn't offer paid maternity leave and didn't fall under the family leave act (too small) but I was able to get short term disability and it was helpful. --Worst case scenario--you get an eviction notice due to unpaid rent---(this is only if you rent of course) There are usually agencies who will help pay that rent with the notice (many won't help without the notice)--hopefully they won't file until the second month --then by the time you need it again, you may be back to work----same with the utilities--if you get shut off notices, many places can help. Here in Ohio you can be put on a percentage of income plan for gas and electric to pay just what you can afford--it is an option.
Good Luck!!
jcc64 replied: I'm so sorry you are struggling like this, it shouldn't be this way. I do believe there must be some resources that you are not aware of in your area. One is disability, which I believe your company is required to pay. If the human resources person at your company is not helpful to you, call the social services dept of the county you live in, and ask them to assist you. I would also call Planned Parenthood, and even some local churches and womens' shelters. It's hard, and you may have to spend a lot of time filling out papers and making phone calls, but I'm sure something will work out for you if you're persistent. In the meantime, feel free to post anytime. The moms here are vert supportive.
smullin replied: FONT=Courier]I am so sorry about you having to deal with all this at this time. Some options I know about is WIC which my friend did and the only thing that happened that changed is her martial status which she didn't need it by then so that was fine. WIC will help pay for baby food(formula and diapers) and will help buy food for your other child(cereal, milk, dinners, etc). They just issue you a check and have you buy certain brands of items. I know this helps alot. Another is STD, short term disability which I know ladies have mentioned. It can last for about three months and usually pays at least 50% of your income in a monthly check tax free. More options would be pregnancy clinics. Planned parenthood can help but not always the best help if you are keeping the baby. My friend had gone there and all they kept saying her was why don't you just abort it ? That was out of the question so she tried other places and ended with wic and the pregnancy clinic, Aveda. Now that is the name of one in Minnesota. What state do you live in ? That would help. I know all states have clinic like this. These kind of clinics like Aveda help with all aspects. Money for bills, clothes, food, and places to live or help with rent. I hope that you find this kind of place near you. Sometimes they are to find. Just type in a search engine teen pregnancy help or young and pregnant. I know you are not a teenager but the places that help them were first started to help women of all ages. I hope some of this helps.
Sarah[/FONT]
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