Family and other hazards

Danalana wrote: As some of you might remember, I have an eating disorder. I have done ok with it for most of the pregnancy, but some things are really bothering me. I know I'm supposed to get big, but I'm worried about HOW I will lose the weight afterwards (I'm not so good at doing it in a healthy way). Anyway, the main problem has been body image.
SO, I went to see my mother, grandmother, and aunt yesterday. They all live close to each other, and I had to take some medicine to my mother. My grandmother wanted to see how I looked cause it had been a while. I get out of the car, and she says "wow". LOL, I didn't know how to take that. Next, I go to my aunt's house, and she points out that my butt is big. I said "my butt has always been big" and she said "yeah, but not this big".
I guess you can always count on your family to be a source of encouragement...

Bamamom replied: Girl you will be amazed at how the weight falls off when you breastfeed. Now it may take 6 months to get it all off but that's six months of losing weight with NO dieting. I'm talking eating brownies and ice cream every day and still losing weight. Don't worry about the weight - you need it to have a healthy baby.


Oh yeah - you MUST eat to breastfeed. No dieting. You need the calories to make the milk.

And we'll be here if you need support!

redchief replied: Hmmm... not hard to see where your eating disorder comes from, at least some of it. Worry about being a good mom to your child. Don't worry about whether you have a big rump or not.

Celestrina replied:
ITA.

Danalana replied: If only it were as easy as simply not worrying about it, I would have it made...

redchief replied:
I know, and I'm sorry. I only hope that motherhood gives you the strength you need to stay healthy and realize that you don't need to be in such complete control that you do harm to yourself. If you find you can't stop yourself, get help!

Danalana replied: Good news! I started back in counseling. I went a couple of weeks ago, and I go next on the 7th. Unfortunately, my insurance will only reimburse me (they don't file it), so I have to pay $100 each time...plus, it's a 2-hour drive each way. So I have to find a way to afford it.

luvmykids replied: I know it's easier said than done but keep in mind your baby needs you, and needs you healthy...and will continue to need you and love you no matter what size you are

Danalana replied: Yeah, I know. And I have only gained like 7 or 8 pounds. I guess it just looks like a lot more because of how everything has changed. That's what I worry about--nothing will ever be the same.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: No, sweetie, nothing will ever be the same. Nor will you ever want it to be. And shame on your family for being so insensitive.

ZandersMama replied:
I know its hard , i have gone through ( and will continue to go through) the same thing. People suck. You have to be healthy for your baby. Breastfeeding does wonders for weight loss, but you NEED calories to make milk. What did it for me was this beautiful little person in my arms that was completely dependent on me. You need to be healthy to give baby all he needs. Some days are better then others, somedays are easy and others just suck. But remember baby needs a healthy mom. pm me any time if you need someone.

gr33n3y3z replied: I think your family didnt mean anything by it but maybe they should watch how they say things better yet not say a word.

msoulz replied: We had a post a few days ago talking about how old ladies just say what they think regardless of how it feels to others. So sorry they were unkind!!

Yes, the breastfeeding thing just melts away the pounds. That was the last time in my life I was able to eat whatever I wanted and lose weight. THe trouble comes in when you stop nursing but keep eating as if you were . . . . . .

Regardless, your baby need a healthy mom and that is much more important than the size of one's behind!!!

Boo&BugsMom replied: Do you think given your situation Dana that maybe you're looking further into it than others might? Just a thought. I'm sure she didn't mean it like you took it. Just remember that your baby's health will only be as healthy as moms, esp if you're breastfeeding. I think you'll be amazed at how your body will bounce back, especially since it's your first.

amymom replied: Dana, I am sorry they were insensitive. But remember your health is important, and this little one is long waited and long loved.... Don't let anyone take that away from you. I know you will stay healthy for this baby. Keep up the good work and I am so looking forward to meeting your little baby.

Calimama replied: Does your family KNOW you have an eating disorder? You think they'd not say something like that, joking or not, if they did. Anyway gaining weight will all be worth it when you see that little boy!

Danalana replied: I was going to add that, in their defense, they don't know about the ED. And I know they didn't mean it in a bad way. It just got me thinking about it more, you know? And my aunt is an alcoholic/drug addict (prescription drugs), so she isn't even herself a lot of the time.
So the only damage was that it made me think about it even more than I already was.

Calimama replied:
Maybe you should think about telling them. I'm sure at some point you could use extra support.

Danalana replied: I could definitely use extra support, and that's why I will NEVER tell them
Let's just say my family isn't strong in the support department.

PrairieMom replied: I would suggest you really work on BF. ( I know you intend to do it, but its real real hard in the beginning for some, and easy to give up on)
BF will Force you to eat healthy so you have milk for your baby. plus, apparently, it helps that weight just "melt" off. (it didn't for me )
Its true that things will never be the same, but hopefully your body shape will be the least of your concerns once your little man arrives.

Also if it helps any, you gained a ridiculously small amount of weight. I gained 70 with Ben, so you are already ahead of the game in that department.

Okay... it occurs to me now that if you have only gained 7 pounds or so, that you will actually be lighter Post Pregnancy than you were Pre-pregnancy. Remember, that baby will weigh about that much when he is born, plus the placenta and all that.
you officially suck.

Danalana replied: LOL, well, I lost 10 pounds because of nausea...so that's why I haven't gained that much. But it looks like a lot to me.

Oh, and don't forget...I have around 7 weeks to go!

PrairieMom replied:
Yeah, I'm sure you will gain that extra 60 in that last 7 weeks. You are doing great.

Danalana replied: You almost made me wet myself!

PrairieMom replied:
hee hee

jem0622 replied: Right now you are nuturing a life within you...so screw them! Sorry that you were subjected to that.

Second...with every pregnancy...I lost at least 20 lbs right away. After that, it varied.

I did sweat a lot and lost a lot due to nursing my kiddos. Can't beat that!

Just enjoy your pregnancy and the little kicks. It all goes by so fast!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I agree to what everyone else said. Life IS different after having a child, for the better, just you wait! For me, it was a total wake-up call - there is another person completely dependant on you to be healthy. It also helped me to not take myself so seriously, meaning that your weight and your outer appearance isn't what makes you who you are. Life is full of so much more, especially now that you are a MOM, so why waste your time with an ED.

I was fully recovered from an ED before trying to conceive my first child, but I will admit that it pops up now and then (in my head), and the extra weight from PG wasn't easy. I just kept in mind what the others said, you are nurturing a human life, and if you're not healthy, your child won't be. Both physically and mentally and spiritually IMO. And that goes for after having the baby as well. BF mothers need EXTRA calories, so depriving yourself of food or purging will completely deplete your supply. Again, like the others said, BF really does take the weight off for most people, fast. But if you have trouble nursing, don't think that there aren't other healthy options.

Sounds like you have come a long way Dana, you should be very proud of yourself!!



Edited for typos.

HuskerMom replied: I never ate very good before having a child but while I was preg with Keith and even after he was born I started eating better. I think I just got into the habit of eating better when I was preg and then kept it up without even thinking about it. And it's nice because I'm hopefully teaching him good eating habits too.

Wow only 7 weeks left! It's gone so fast!! Ok to me it's gone fast!

Danalana replied: In a way, it's gone fast for me too!
First, I never thought 5 weeks would get here (I had never made it that far).
Then, I never thought the u/s in the 6th week would get here.
Then, I never thought 12 weeks would get here.
Then I never thought 24 weeks (viability) would get here.
Next, there was the wait for the last trimester.
And now, it's just around the corner!
It seems like I was always waiting
I'm trying to just enjoy it and not wish it here too fast...I know pregnancy is something you only experience so many times in your life. And I love feeling him move! I could sit and look at my belly move all day, if it wouldn't interfere with things such as work

CantWait replied:
Unfortunetly Dana, bf doesn't do the trick all the time. I lost all of nothing during the 14 months that I bf. The best thing is eating healthy (which you will have to do anyway when bf) and excercising. If you're not big into going to the gym, walk, lots. I'm sure the baby will love to be put into the stroller and walked around, who wouldn't.