Feeling blue tonight...

Maddie&EthansMom wrote: I am so tired of DH not being home. I know and understand why he is working, but I can't help but feel like I don't matter. Why do I have to be the understanding, patient one here? I'm tired of not being able to communicate with him on a daily basis. I'm tired of getting him when he is sick and exhausted with no energy for his family. It just isn't fair to me. I asked him if he could get off early tonight....nope. I've tried to tell him that I need him here without nagging at him. I know if he is here he will just be worried about work and he will be utterly useless to me and we would end up fighting anyway. I certainly don't want that. But, what do I do? What do I say? I feel like it will never get better. Our relationship does not need tension right now but I am so hurt and angry that I just want to yell at him.

My parents will be here Thursday evening. I want to say it will be better when they get here, but they will gripe that they never get to see DH. Atleast I will be able to accomplish more on the room when they get here. And my garage will be free of extra furniture so we can put DH's car back in there.

And I know I have no right to be disappointed about the shower being cancelled, but I am. I don't blame them for cancelling it. I would do the same thing. I was really looking forward to it though and now I know it won't happen. Such is life.

On the other hand, I have my sweet Maddie to keep me on my toes. A few minutes ago I walked in the living room after cooking and she was folding all the laundry I just put on the couch. What a sweetheart. I just wanted to cry.

I'm ready to have this baby. Don't get me wrong, I love every movement and have relished in the time I have been pg b/c I know this is the last time. Even though I have been sick I have still enjoyed every minute. I'm just feeling really fat and helpless right now. Blah! I can't sleep and I have horrible bags under my eyes. And I have been so hormonal. I know that won't get better when Ethan is born, but I might be a little more comfortable once he is here and I can hold him.

I'm so sorry to complain and whine to you guys. I know I'm just being a big baby and I just need to get over myself. I think I will go to bed early tonight. I'm not accomplishing anything anyway. Thanks for reading if you got this far.....

A&A'smommy replied: awww sweetie im soooo sorry you feel so down!!!! But you are not being a baby i completly understand how you feel!!! Have you tried writing him a letter just telling him how much you love him and miss him? i know that last few weeks are SOOO uncomfortable and you cant wait to have your baby in your arms. i dont really have any advice for you but i just wanted to give you a big hug!!!!! (((((BIG HUGS)))) And to let you know that your are not being a baby and that its not easy to feel better just worse.... maybe you should gently tell him how you feel its not right for you to feel that way!!!! ((((BIG HUGS)))) and dont worry your almost there!!!

kimberley replied:

you're not being a baby at all. i felt all the same things when i was pg and even now sometimes. IKWYM about wondering why you have to be the patient one who makes all the sacrifices. i guess i just accept it as part of a mom's job but it does get me down sometimes too. None of these feelings are easy and being pg too makes it that much harder. ((((big hugs)))) to you. not much longer now. Jessyann's idea of a letter to DH is a good idea. for some weird reason things sink into their heads faster when it is in writing. i am glad you can find some comfort in Maddie. she is such a sweet little girl.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I'm so sorry you are feeling blue tonight! Do something just for you tomorrow! Go and get a manicure and a pedicure, pamper yourself! Your sweet baby will be here before you know it! Try to sit down and explain to your DH that you would like him home early at least one day this week! Plan a date for just the 2 of you, when your parents come go and have lunch with him!

Maddie&EthansMom replied:

You know, that is a great idea. He gets paid this weekend and we could grab a bite to eat and maybe go to a movie. I will bring it up with him. The pedicure and manicure are much needed as well. Thank you all for being so sweet to me. I feel so irrational sometimes, like I don't have a right to feel blue, but I can't help feeling this way.

~CrazieMama~ replied: Sweety, you have every right to feel blue. Just remember that it will get better. Things will be bright again. Go have lunch with your DH this weekend. Have a great time!!! Just tell him how you feel and let him know that you love him very much and are hormonal at times. But that you really need to spend some quality time together. That should be enough right there for him to say, "Honey, I love you more than life itself, let's leave Maddie with your parents and let's go made a day long date". I am sure you will feel better berfore you know it. Lots of hugs to you.

CantWait replied:
I know how you're feeling. DH is always putting other things ahead of us it seems and he always comes home cranky, tired or sick. This hurts and that hurts, and when I hurt, who cares. He's extremely useless to me when it comes to the house and baby. I hope that things get better for you guys soon.

Me, I'm on my last straw, and we'll be trying counselling on Friday, if he can get an hour or so off work.

Hugs to ya

paradisemommy replied: aweee sweetie... i'm sorry you are feeling that way. i was going to suggest sending him flowers with a small stuffed animal and on the card make it really simple like "please come home early one night - i really need to spend time with you" then maybe it will sink in a little more to him and you are being really sweet (and not nagging)..might make him feel a little guilty.

either way, i hope you are feeling better soon. you aren't being irrational at all - i completely understand how you feel. when i was 7 months pg, dh had to go to school for about a month on the mainland. then after ds was born, he had to leave again when taven was 6 to 9 weeks and i hated having him gone both those times..they were prime emotional times for me...luckily my mom came over after i had taven so at least it made it a little better!

MomToMany replied: I'm sorry you feel that way! You're not a baby or whining! I know how it feels to to make all the sacrifices and do all the suffering. There are times when I feel like a single parent; it seems like he's always gone. DH has mandatory overtime starting today, so he'll be gone that much more. I told him last night that there was only 7 weeks til my due date, but it'll be more like 9 before baby is here. He said, "You're going to make me wait THAT long??". Yep, everything is about YOU, mister! I was a little shocked, but said, "Do you really think I WANT to wait that long?? It's not up to me; have a talk with your baby!" (yeah right! He won't even touch me .). UGH! It gets SO frustrating! You got some great ideas on how to spend time with him.

I know I would be disappointed if my baby shower got cancelled, too. I haven't had one since Logan (oldest) was a baby, and I don't really NEED one, but SOMETHING would've be nice, even if it was just family getting together for dinner. And how sweet of Maddie to fold laundry like that! She must know how you are feeling, and is trying to help out as best as she can. Bless her little heart !

I know I'M ready to h ave this baby now!! We're in the same boat there! I'm getting really sick of being so big and fat, and hardly able to move. It hurts to walk, it hurts to sit, and I can't lay on my side anymore at night as I've always done because it hurts too much. I want to see and hold this baby, not to mention to see Hannah's reaction to him/her! It's gping to be a long wait now! I hate it when these last weeks just drag by!

More to you! I hope everything works out for you! Let us know how it goes, and if you were able to go on a "date"! I wish there was more I could do for you, seriously!!

Kaitlin'smom replied: big hugs to you....a date with you DH will do you wonders. It sure helped me feel better since we used to go on them alot and had not for well over a year. In fact I need to schedule another one with him, I had such a nice relaxing time. Got do something for you also.

We are all hear for you...

DansMom replied: Hugs to you

If my baby shower got cancelled and my DH was never around, I would feel exactly the same way. You want to be sharing this time with others, especially DH, and celebrating the future. I hope he will slow down and spend more time with you soon. I'm sure he's stressed out too---it sounds like he's under a lot of pressure, even if it's self-imposed pressure.

Maddie&EthansMom replied:

I've been there, too. Counseling is a good thing. I'm glad you are trying that. Maybe since DH was gone he just isn't understanding of how much you go through with the boys. Aren't men funny creatures sometimes...why do we always have to be the ones to 'read into their feelings?' We are constantly trying to figure them out and dig deeper. It gets frustrating. Hang in there and here are some ((((HUGS)))) for you.

Maddie&EthansMom replied:

Awww! I am so sorry! I can't believe he would even say something like that to you!! This time in our pregnancy is the most uncomfortable. It is so hard to move, breath, eat, sleep, etc. Let alone think about what we need to be doing for our men! How insensitive of him! I hope you feel better soon. I'm glad to know I am not the only one whose DH can be so insensitive at times.

MomToMany replied:
Thank you Aimee! I'm feeling much better today . Men can be so insensitive sometimes; I wish they could experience being PG first-hand!