Finding your passion in life

amynicole21 wrote: Lately I've been feeling very unfulfilled, lazy and flat emotionally. I don't have any hobbies or interests (other than my kids) and I can't even think of anything that I would be interested in pursuing or learning more about. I've gone to some volunteering websites to see if there was anything that caught my eye, and nothing seems to jump out at me. I've thought about going back to school, but I have no idea what I would do.

So my questions to all of you is these: What passions do you have in your life? What do you do that makes you feel happy? What do you have that defines you as a person, other than being a parent and spouse?

I need some direction/motivation/ideas.

moped replied: I think about this too - my hobby seems to be my child/dren.............I don't know, I wish I had some great passion! BUT I DON'T

Jamison'smama replied: I am looking for it too! I think I was following a path when I was working full time and most of the women I worked with continued on the path of working for women's issues, some with speaking, politics, organizing, etc. but since I no longer work in the field I also feel I am falling out of any sort of passion at all. I too have thought about how to find that thing you are passionate about---askde from kids and PTA ----good topic to explore~

lovemy2 replied: Hmmm-above all else my children are my passion - for sure - but I also have a huge passion for my career - I try to excel and grow in it but am sometimes very torn about the time it takes to do so and my children - I am a tax accountant and tax season can be very consuming of my time and attention - it isn't always easy finding the balance during that time - other than that - recreationally - I am very into scrapbooking and have recently joined the YMCA with my DH and the kids and am hoping it will become a good healthy activity we can all do together - I love it there and so do the kids so......

But ask me again tomorrow and I may feel alot like you - flat, lazy and worthless

coasterqueen replied: Good question, Amy. One that I don't have the answer for, myself. I don't have the time with working full time and two kids in activities.

This has to do with kids, but I want to get more involved in our school district now that Kylie is going to school there. I joined the PTC, but have yet to find the time to go to the meetings.

redchief replied: My passion is teaching. I love to do it, so I've found ways to make that happen even though I've never been able to afford college for myself. I got myself certified in fire service instruction, coaching, and CCD instruction. Someday I'd love to go back to school and finish my teaching degree, though I fear I'd be too old to use it by then. Who knows?

Aside from that, my kids and my family ARE my passion. My liking teaching doesn't define me as a person. My being the fire chief doesn't either. I mean, I'll have a small spot in Avalon's history books and my name will be a blurb in the local museum fifty years from now, probably as the fire chief who commanded the largest fire incident ever in Avalon... twice over. But these things are not defining. My kids are my real legacy, and my family is who will be left to carry on my memory and my dreams when I'm gone. So I say, don't feel sad or unfulfilled because your parenthood defines you. In the end, that's what will define us all. How our children perceived us will be the memory of us that is taken into the future.

mom2patrick&jalin replied:


I sooooo totally agree!!

luvbug00 replied: ITA with Ed. But i also have a passion for jewelry ( looking at and knowing about, not owning) and i have decided to make it my career path. i know i will be doing somthing that i love.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: that's a good one. I'm still trying to figure it out a little bit.

Mostly I'm kind of obsessive compulsive about stuff, and I make those my passions. It's odd. I have a compulsion to clean evrything such and such a way... and I write tips etc for ppl when they ask how I keep my home so organized. I love love love cooking and baking etc... so every year a couple times a year, I start taking orders from family, friends, neighbours for tins of goodies...like christmas, easter, july 1st...

other than that... i'm pretty even keel, but I cold probably use more hobbies

TANNER'S MOM replied: Well my children and family are my passion. I mean I think it's that way for all of us. But guess what.. our children grow up. They leave the nest and we have to have something that fulfills us besides them. I know it sounds mean to say it that way. But I am the parents of older children. When they are teenagers they need you but in a different way. I think by having a few things I enjoy I teach them alot about being who they really are and about being a person..not just a mommie or wife.

I have a few hobbies..horses and books. I love my horses and my children now that. It is something they grew up doing with me and something they know I will do with out them. It's something we can do together or when I need a moment I can saddle up and ride by myself.

I think we all need something that is ours. I know it's hard not to get lost in being a mommie..but I don't think there is anything wrong with being you. I know our families come first. But we have to come second..or one day you wake up with grown children and realize you haven't done anything for yourself.

coasterqueen replied:
This is so true. I have several things I want to do in life, but those I am setting aside until my kids are older. For me, it will probably be when they are out of the home. I want to go back to college and take classes on different things that interest me. I want to volunteer more than I do now.

HuskerMom replied: Other than family the only thing I can think of that I LOVE to do is write. I love just sitting down where it's nice and quiet and write short stories, it's very relaxing although writer's block is painful.

redchief replied:
You're absolutely right, Mel. And I've seen plenty of moms, and more recently, dads, struggle with this as the kids grow up and move on into their social lives. Truly the time that they need us lessens and I can see where holes would be left where the time was previously filled with child care.

There are really two times when those life holes become evident, aren't there? One when the kids begin school full-time (unless you're home schooling of course), and again when they are more grown and no longer need us as they become and begin to enjoy their independence.

I suppose it hasn't struck me as hard because I've simply become busier in my careers as the kids needed me less. Everyone does need to find that place or thing that gives them purpose, I guess. Now I look for times to spend with the kids, especially all together, because those times are so few and far between now.

kit_kats_mom replied: Oh Amy, I'm sorry you are struggling.

I've felt more alive lately due to a few things. 1. I've started with the counselor to help revive mine and DH's relationship, 2. I've started the mothers group in our neighborhood and met some other moms who I'm learning new things from 3. My best girlfriend and I are thinking of starting a party planning business which has my brain firing a lot more 4. I'm working on starting the Daisy scout troop and 5. I've been trying to really work on myself as a human being.

It's really hard to find your passion or do any good for others unless you are secure with yourself and who you are. Once you know yourself pretty well and you are happy with that person, then you can really find your peace and your passion. That's also when you are able to help others more.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Oh I can totally relate Amy. I've been asking myself this question a lot lately too. But I'm not sure I can answer it yet. There are things I "like" to do, but I don't think I'm passionate about them. I like to cook, I like event planning, I like art projects, I like working out. I agree with Ed, my family is my passion, but I believe you're asking what lights our fire, what makes us want to get up in the morning, what do you do for yourself that doesn't necessarily involve your family/home...am I right? I really don't know right now. As you all know, DH is looking for a new job in CA so we can be closer to family. It may mean a pay cut, which means I will have to go back to work. So it's on my mind a lot right now. And I admit to feeling less than motivated. Nothing really seems to shout out at me!

Calimama replied: Surfing and design are my passion.

A&A'smommy replied: you just have to remember what you LOVED before you started to work/motherhood/maid/cook/ ect.... But anyway I found what made me happy I loved dance and photography and now i'm a freelance photographer I have done quite a few weddings and some portraits and I LOVE it plus I can earn some extra $$$

I hope you find something that you can really enjoy, and makes you happy!!

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I workout everyday. That pretty much defines who I am as well. (other than being a wife/mom, of course) I love how it makes me feel and I know that if I ever have any down time that I can hit the gym and feel awesome about myself within mins.

I also love painting and restoring things. I love sewing, scrapbooking, photography.

Recently I enrolled in a bible study and the MOPS group at our church...I'm hoping I get some fulfillment thru that and maybe it will lead to more volunteer opportunities.

Can you tell I had the same thoughts as you recently? I'm trying to fill my time with things that make me feel good about myself. I wanted to go back to school, but really it's not my thing and the funds aren't there.

danahas4monkeys replied: I'm having the same problem. I want/need something to do with my time. I just dont know what, I want to go back to school but for what, I'm at a point now where I could go to work or school but I dont know what would make me happy. I've always just been a mom/wife, I started young so I never had the chance to find myself and now I feel lost. Dont get me wrong being a mom and wife couldnt make me happier but I feel like I coudl be so much more but not sure what! I hope you find what you are looking for!

mummy2girls replied: My passion and once Marcus is done his schooling I am goign to go to school to achieve this goal/passion... I want to get my rehabilitaion practitioner diploma. I want to work with the disabled.. from mild learning disabilities to the major physical diasbilities. Such as downs, spina bifada, paralyzed children, cerebal palsy.

Our Lil' Family replied: I'm searching for that as well lately. I am in that rut so badly it's killing me to find something that will pull me out. I used to enjoy scrapbooking but it takes me so long to get my creativity flowing that I just put off pulling it all back out....which leads to my wedding album and Thomas' 1st year still currently works in progress.
I can't sew, I have no artistic ability, I loathe sweating (so working out is not for me). I love shopping but have no extra $ to do so. I do love party planning but am so afraid of starting a business.

So as you see I'm asking myself the same questions. I hope you can find something to help you....if you do let me know what it is!

MommyToAshley replied: I have always been jealous of those that have found their passion and make a living doing it.

I was very career oriented before Ashley came along... but I wouldn't really say I was passionate about it. Being passionate about something takes on an entirely different meaning. I struggled in college to find my passion and I changed my major a few times trying to find it before settling on business with a minor in economics. But, again, I would never say I was passionate about it.

I have a few hobbies... gaming with DH, photography (strictly amateur), scrapbooking, etc. But, I am not really passionate about any of these either.

I never really "planned" on becoming a Mom, but it is the most rewarding thing in my life. Before I got married, I never would have imagined that I would say being a wife and a Mom is my passion. But, it is the only thing I can honestly say I am passionate about it. It does define who I am and I can probably forsee some need for adjustment as Ashley grows older and needs me less.

I used to struggle with the same thing you are, but the Mom and wife role has fulfilled that for me. And, it really is surprising to hear myself say that.

Good luck... I hope you find what you are looking for.

Twelve Volt Man replied: I used to do a lot of backpacking, but it seems that I just don't have the time anymore. That was my passion, as there was nothing I'd rather do than spend a few days in the wilderness. Now that I'm a dad, I look forward to getting back into it, and sharing my love for the outdoors with my son.

luvmykids replied:
That is me too....I have interests but not a lot of passion, and the things I am passionate about just don't seem to be practical right now. I haven't given up on them entirely but I wish I could find a passion that I can fit into life now instead of 10 years from now.

There are some things that I am sort of good at and passionate about but not "good enough" at so I struggle with feeling like I'm wasting my time.

CantWait replied: Amy I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time. I have my moments when I think that I could be doing so much more then just being a mom (as if it's a JUST).

My passion right now is photography and the outdoors, and after I get a better camera (and I'm thinking of asking dh to put one on credit) I want to put up signs and start taking pictures for other people.
What better way to combine to things you love.

I'm also really enjoying volunteering for cadets and working with 9-13 year olds. Working with kids is something I never would have guessed for myself.

My only suggestion is think outside the box and try things you wouldn't think to try because it may surprise you. Volunteer doing something, if you don't like it, you don't have to keep doing it.

ediep replied: this is hard for me to answer as well, before I had kids I was very passionate about my job, teaching, I was very into working out and would go to the gym or go running every day.

I have been trying to get back to the gym and I have started scrapbooking. My sister and I are trying to start a scrapbooking business, making premade and custom scrapbooks.

so I guess, thats it.... besides my kids and my husband, my passions are trying to get my body back and scrapbooking..... sounds pretty lame

Boo&BugsMom replied: Other than my children, who are my true passion, I have a passion for music. I write occassional songs, sing at church, and love to just play music and jam. Playing the piano and singing are my outlets for stress when I can utilize them. I wish I could make a living playing music, but God hasn't allowed me, but I am content with that as long as I can still use my gifts somewhere, which I do.

DansMom replied: I'm sorry you're at a low point in motivation and confidence, Amy. If you don't love your work, and your non-work time is focused solely on parenting, there are rewards there obviously (the parenting part), but it can feel as if something is missing---the old you and the time to self-reflect and look inward.

Lately, I'm into doing cardio/weights at the gym for an hour three days a week. I couldn't swing this until Daniel was older, but it's helping my mood and self-image a lot. I've been watching independent and foreign films in the evening. I've been reading good literature. Basically returning to some of the stuff I used to do before becoming a mom is helping restore my sense of identity and purpose as an individual.

I'd still like to do more---an art class, perhaps. I used to usher for the Musical Society as a volunteer---saw lots of concerts for free, but it involves too much commitment.
One reason I want to take a drawing class is to also set an example. Daniel lacks confidence and motivation in this area, and I'd like him to see me working at it too.

Kaitlin'smom replied: my passion other than family is Theatre and working back stage. I LOVE it and I am working on going back to it every so often. I wish I could do it more often but working full time and family it does not leave time for it, but I am tring to find some time. I have a show this weekend that I am helping out with on costumes and props and I am sooo excited. Its a benifit so I wont get paid but I really dont care about that, I love doing it and I will be back at my old HS and see some former classmates from the theatre. I have rehursal tomorrow night. I hope this can be the start of me back at it.

holley79 replied: I'm not a motivator right now. I am in the "funk" right now and kind of in the same place you are.

Do they have extracirricular activities at any of the community colleges near you? Ours has a wide array of things to do but I just have to get motivated and join.