First time Mom needs help! - Crying baby - We took away his pacifier

klunsford11 wrote: I guess I should introduce myself before I beg for help. My name is Kimberly and my husband and I are the proud parents of Bryce, our 2 month old baby boy.

Here's our predicament: Bryce has had a pacifier off and on ever since he came home from the hospital. At first he was only using it sporadically throughout the day. Some days he wouldn't use it at all. Then his dad watched him at night over the weekend about three weeks ago (I get up with the baby at night during the week and DH gets up with him on the weekends). Anyway, some nurse at the hospital told DH that he could stick his finger in the baby's mouth as a comfort measure and apparently he did that all weekend to get the baby back to sleep after his feedings. After that, Bryce started wanting a paci at night too. So I gave it to him. Things just went downhill from there. He progressed to having the paci in his mouth 24/7. He would fall asleep with it in his mouth and the paci would fall out and he would instantly wake up screaming and crying until I put the thing back in his mouth. This kept going on until neither once of us (me or the baby) was getting any sleep at night or any rest during the day for putting the darn thing back in his mouth every 10 seconds. So, DH and I decided to take away the paci and be done with it. So last Friday we took the pacifier away cold turkey. We endured three days of screaming and crying fits and I was certain we had made a mistake and wanted to give it back. My husband was adamant that we were doing the right thing and so this week passed with no pacifier. The baby got somewhat used to it at night, and while it takes me forever to get him to sleep at night, once he was asleep he did really well. He would wake up, take his bottle and go right back to sleep. The nights were great. During the day however, he has screaming spells. Usually when he's really, really sleepy. So twice a day I'd have to hold him and rock him and bounce him until he's completely exhausted and falls asleep. (This lasts anywhere from 30 minutes to and hour and a half.) This weekend has been even worse. He's been cranky and fussy all day long and I just want to give him his pacifier back and be done with it because I know it will quiet him. Before we took the paci away at least we had periods of time where he was quiet and content sitting in his swing, or laying in his crib. Now it seems like it's constantly holding, rocking, cajoling time. However, if we give the pacifier back, I'm afraid it will be the same thing that it was before with the not sleeping at night and crying all day for the paci. I'm so confused. DH is so confused. We have no idea what to do and feel like pulling our hair out. Is it possible to give him his paci only during the day? Should we continue to not let him have the pacifier? Is it mean to take it away only to give it back? We really don't know what to do and we only want our little sweetie to be a happy baby. This is our first child and I feel like we're doing everything wrong! Please help.

Kimberly

huggybugboy replied: I had kind of a similar predicament with Miles. He wanted that darn thing all the time and he couldnt keep it in his mouth, so I kept having to put it back in his mouth. I too tried to take it away but it didn't work too well. I tried to get him to suck his thumb but it didnt take. Finally I gave up and he uses it when he's going to sleep and in the car. Now he knows how to get it in his mouth himself which is nice but he's older. I still don't like the thing. I don't want him to be so dependent on it. But I did it for my sanity. I figure, if that's all he wants, why deny him it? Plus he wanted to nurse every second of the day, which I just couldnt deal with. It's a matter of personal choice but I decided (after a lot of frustration and arguing with myself about it) that whats the big deal? So he sucks a pacifier. At least he's not 5 years old and doing it.

moped replied: I think at 2 months they still need that sucking comfort, Jack had one until about 6 months and now nothing, well actually he has 2 puppies in bed wih him only......................you could give it to him only when he is tired to sleep and not when he is awake and happy.............................HTH

DblTblDad replied: When Kenzie and Kyler were little their pacifiers were a godsend. We had and still do have those clips that attatch the pacifier to their clothes. They woke up sometimes when it fell out of their mouth too, darn thing. Babies suck to soothe themselves, is what our doc said. I think at two months it's a good thing for them to have. it's not affecting his teeth because he doesn't have any I know it's annoying that its falling out all the time, but he finds it a comfort object and soon enough he will be able to put it back in his mouth on his own. I would go ahead and give it too him. Kenz and Ky are 19 months old and still using their pacifiers, which is going to be a pain to take them away, I just haven't had the heart too yet. I would suggest weaning him later, but before 1 year.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Welome to MOTHERHOOD!!!!!!!!!!

jk - my daughter will be 2 in december.... and although she does not have a paci at the sitter's, at my mom's, at DH's mom's, she INSISTS on having it just about 24/7 at home.

And we give it to her - because let's be frank - letting her have the darn thing shuts her up.

At 2 months of age though, it's more of a comfort thing really. Have you tried other types of soothers? We noticed that as babies, the kids had problems keeping newborn pacis in their mouth - we gave them the next one up, which was bigger, rounder, they seemed to be able to keep that one in their mouth just fine.

Good luck....

aspenblue1 replied: That is a hard question. At 2 months babies suck to comfort themselves, Kyrsten my dd wont take a paci. She sucks her thumb or my finger to comfort herself.

Good luck!

mckayleesmom replied: sorry...both my little ones rejected the pacifier....but Im glad because thats 1 less thing to take away from them. Good luck and welcome to parentingclub.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I would probably try giving the paci back to him again just during the day and see how that goes. Now that he's doing good without it at night it probably wouldn't hurt to let him have it during the day when he is crying for it to give you some sanity. I agree babies just need to suck on something sometimes.

It's worth a try anyways and if he goes back to wanting it all night again then you can take it away again. Good luck!

massagemommy replied: Babies don't have any way to calm themselves down or soothe themselves, except sucking. I wouldn't worry about pacifier issues down the road while your little one is so young; honestly I'd have been grateful if my son had accepted a pacifier at that age because it meant all his sucking needs were satisfied by hours of non-nutritive nursing (a little exhausting). But at 9 months he finds a bink useful once or twice a week for settling into deep sleep for nap or night, and never wants it the rest of the time. What concerns you about pacifiers?

CantWait replied: My first son was a paci lover, but was off of it by time he was around one and a half for sure. My second was a booby lover and that's how he got his sucking...I'd much prefer the paci then constantly giving my baby booby to help calm him down.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
I agree with Jen...maybe just try giving it to him at sleeptime since you've already got him off it for awhile. Reintroduce it slowly and maybe he will only want it at certain times of the day. My DS still takes a paci at naps and bedtime. And sometimes during the day, but not often. It's typically when I know he's overly tired. I see nothing wrong with it. I find it similar to older babies who may still BF for comfort. Those darn things do fall out, but they eventually learn how to put them back in on their own.

I also wanted to add that your son is only 2 months...he will probably awake at night several times with or without the paci. Just sounds like normal infant sleep patterns. Hang in there! Hope it gets better for you!

angelhair replied: at 2 months i would give him the paci until he is older. he will not always be dependent on it. when my ds was 2 we did the cold turkey on the paci and after three days he was fine. young babies sometimes need to be soothed and it is psyically impossiable to take on the task of being his only source of comfort. it will work out in the end love dee

My3LilMonkeys replied: Welcome to the boards!

IMHO 2 months is just too young to take that away from them. My oldest needed a paci to sleep until she was 8 months old and then gave it up on her own. My youngest gave it up at 2 weeks when she realized there was no milk coming out of it. She is now a thumbsucker instead.

At that age, they need the sucking motion. I would agree with the other moms who suggested giving it to him for sleep if he needs it. He will give it up when he is ready.

~*Just the Three of Us*~ replied: at two months sucking is still a big comforter for the little guy. so i wouldn't worry about too much right now. Sebastian loved his binki at that age. but when you want to get him off of it ( and strting early is never a bad idea, the best way to go is slowly and gradually. just taking the binki cold turkey will only make things harder on you guys. you decided what times of day you wont allow him to have it.. and that when you just carefully hide it... also when he get solder and is movin and a grovin he will be putting other things in his mouth and the binki will become less important and less intresting. Sebastian is now nine months and he onlys puts his binki in when ever he stumbles upon it, and that usualy only last till somthing much more fun to put in his mouth comes a long.

also eventually we started only giving it to him after he had a ba ba.

i hope this helps.. good luck!

and welcome aboard!