For all the Mom's with a 2 year old... - or have BTDT

CAMSMOM1 wrote: I don't know if it's the 2 year old curse, "terrible twos"...but man, has my boy changed! He still has his sweet moments, but lately his tantrums are happening more and more. It's driving me nuts!!!!

And the part that gets me, is he ONLY does this with ME!!!! DH watched him today, while I was at work, and he said he never had a temper tantrum with him today. Grandma, who usually watches him, says he's the "perfect little angel".

So just a couple of questions for those of you with 2 yr olds, or who have BTDT...

1.) Did their tantrums seem to get worse around their 2nd birthday?

2.) Is this a phase? When do they grow out of this?

3.) Do they act up more with you? Do they act better for one parent and not the other?

4.) What works best for a 2 year old?

5.) Did they ever cry so hard it seemed like they were hyperventalating?

6.) How often do they have tantrums? And how long do they last? (like 20 min, ect)


The past 2 weeks have been horrible! I miss my sweet little boy! And I feel like I'm the problem, since he only acts up with me. Any words of wisdom? Thanks for answering my questions above. TIA!

Edward's Mommy replied: I don't know about all the questions you asked. But I do know that children will throw temper tantrums with the people/person they are most comfortable with.

Crystalina replied: Isn't it fun? It makes you want to pull out your hair.


Evan is 2 and wow he can have an attitude. His thing lately is crying just because he woke up. He will wake up and cry for about half an hour! And guess what...he only does this with me. I think he knows that I'm the one who will baby him or who has in the past. Even if I tell him "NO, Mommy is not going to hold you while your screaming like that. " He will still hang on me and follow me from room to room. When he's done though, he's done quick. He'll just stop crying and ta-da, Evans back. I don't know what causes them to act like this. Izabella (she's 4 now) stopped about 3 yrs old but she was never as bad as he is.


It's amazing how he can be with Daddy and the minute I get home from the store and walk in the door he starts getting cranky and whiny (sp). DH will say " I don't know what's wrong with him all of a sudden. He's been great the whole time you were gone."

It's just amazing and all we can do is hold on for the ride.

amynicole21 replied: 1.) Did their tantrums seem to get worse around their 2nd birthday? Yup, and they continue well through the third year

2.) Is this a phase? When do they grow out of this? Get back to me in a few months and I'll let you know!

3.) Do they act up more with you? Do they act better for one parent and not the other? She is an angel for her grandmother, but for DH and me it's Jekyll and Hyde.

4.) What works best for a 2 year old? Plugging your ears and ignoring them. Without an audience, the tantrums USUALLY lose steam pretty quickly.

5.) Did they ever cry so hard it seemed like they were hyperventalating? A few times I thought she was posessed. She was frothing at the mouth, her heart was going a mile a minute and she didn't seem in control of herself. Scary stuff.

6.) How often do they have tantrums? And how long do they last? (like 20 min, ect) With Sophia, it's about 4 times a week and they last about 20min each.

MamaJAM replied: I have definately been there....heck, I still am! What works for one child during a tantrum won't work for another -- I've learned with my 5 kiddos that each needs their own special way of being handled at the worst times. I don't really have advice on what to do (other than the standard 'ignore' the tanrtum....when possible).
What I really can offer you is TONS of sympathy and plenty of ! Hang in there.....he'll get over this before he's a teen (then the 'real' fun beings ).

My3LilMonkeys replied: 1.) Did their tantrums seem to get worse around their 2nd birthday? They didn't really start for us until that time.

2.) Is this a phase? When do they grow out of this? Still working on that....


3.) Do they act up more with you? Do they act better for one parent and not the other? Not Brooke. She is comfortable and used to being around DH, me, MIL, SIL, and my mom and will throw tantrums for anyone.

4.) What works best for a 2 year old? At home, we put her in her bed until she stops. Other places, I take her blankie (favorite comfort object) and put it where she can see it but not reach it and then sit down and talk to her calmly until she stops. Other family members deal with them differently.

5.) Did they ever cry so hard it seemed like they were hyperventalating? Only when she's overtired or sick.

6.) How often do they have tantrums? And how long do they last? (like 20 min, ect) Rarely - maybe 1-2 times a month. They usually only last 5-10 min for us.

BAC'sMom replied: 1.) Did their tantrums seem to get worse around their 2nd birthday? All my children started way before they were 2 years.

2.) Is this a phase? When do they grow out of this? Yes it's a phase. They will grow out of it, but don't think it stops at 3 or even 4 years. Those will be some trying times too.

3.) Do they act up more with you? Do they act better for one parent and not the other? Yes defiantly!

4.) What works best for a 2 year old? Sometimes ignoring, sometimes time out. Ann you will have to try different things to see what works best for you.

5.) Did they ever cry so hard it seemed like they were hyperventilating? Yes and it scared the hell out of me too. DS #1 would bang his head when he got mad, he would also bite too but ONLY BITE ME. DD would scream till you thought she could not breathe, and do this weird crab crawl on the floor. But she never threw fits when my Mom or DH was around. I think they both thought I was crazy when I would try to explain her RAGES. Now with DD #2 who will be 2 on the 17th he’s my thrower. Remote controls, toys you name it whatever he has handy. He also gets destructive and starts taking all the cushions off the couch and throws them on the floor. And genially acts like a total sh*t when he does not get his way.

6.) How often do they have tantrums? And how long do they last? (like 20 min, ect) Daily, hourly anytime they are limited, don’t get what they want. Or are shown they have boundaries

Just remember it’s temporary it will pass. If you need anymore tips please don’t hesitate to PM me. I am going through this too but for the 3rd time. I have found some things that work might be better to tell you privately than on the board.

jem0622 replied: My answers (I've been through it twice and will once more (x2 GULP)):

1.) Did their tantrums seem to get worse around their 2nd birthday? Yes

2.) Is this a phase? When do they grow out of this? No, the dynamics of their tantrums just change. This is only the beginning and it is important to be consistent in how you handle it.

3.) Do they act up more with you? Do they act better for one parent and not the other? It's the same for both of us.

4.) What works best for a 2 year old? A couple options. Redirection (my preferred method for a 2 yr old), time out (clip him in the high chair/booster chair), or put him in his crib (if he is still in one). If he is flailing (sp) then you can sit with him in your lap with arms firmly wrapped around him. Say nothing or whisper something in his ear until he calms down totally.

5.) Did they ever cry so hard it seemed like they were hyperventalating? Yes. My 3 yr old gags and almost pukes sometimes. Ah the drama

6.) How often do they have tantrums? And how long do they last? (like 20 min, etc) Cannot put a time frame on it. Depends on the circumstance. Do not try to reason with them it will only get worse. Ignore or do one of the things mentioned to resolve it.

luvbug00 replied: 1.) Did their tantrums seem to get worse around their 2nd birthday?

Mya started at 3

2.) Is this a phase? When do they grow out of this?

boys , I don't know , Girls, NEVER!:emlaugh:

3.) Do they act up more with you? Do they act better for one parent and not the other?

yep

4.) What works best for a 2 year old?

steady routine and disapline

5.) Did they ever cry so hard it seemed like they were hyperventalating?

yes and I ignore it becuase it's all overdramatics.

6.) How often do they have tantrums? And how long do they last? (like 20 min, ect)

Mya had them all the time and I ignored as many as possible and she got the hint.

CAMSMOM1 replied: Thanks guys! I've been at my wits end! I get sad thinking about how sweet he used to be! Sure he still has those wonderful moments, but now the tantrums seem to rull his life. I miss the times we would dance around and sing, or play together nicely.

But at least now he does apoligize, say he's sorry & give me a big hug. I think he realizes he is out of control. Like someone said, trying to reationalize with him just makes it wrose.

I've heard that if you put him in timeout in his crib, that they start hating to be in there? I try to put him in timeout in a cornor, but he doesn't stay there long.

I know they say you shouldn't let them get up from their timeouts until they are done crying. But this seems to take forever.

If I ignore him he'll just come up to me and make a bigger scene. So I try walking away, and he'll follow me! So that doesn't seem to work.

I wonder why he just does this with me???? Why is he on his best behavior for everyone else? Maybe cause he knows he'll get away with it with me? But I'm the one who's the closeest to him. You would think it would be the other way around?

Thanks for the tips. Hoping to get more. The more I can learn about this the better.

MyBlueEyedBabies replied: 1.) Did their tantrums seem to get worse around their 2nd birthday? Yes, and progressively worse at 3

2.) Is this a phase? When do they grow out of this? It has to be a phase. I have only seen a handful of adults throw tantrums When do they outgrow it. Katy is starting to get better at almost 3.5

3.) Do they act up more with you? Do they act better for one parent and not the other? Definately worse around Dh and me. They are both pretty good around others

4.) What works best for a 2 year old? FOr my 2 yo...putting him in his room until he calms down

5.) Did they ever cry so hard it seemed like they were hyperventalating? Yes

6.) How often do they have tantrums? And how long do they last? (like 20 min, ect) Matt truely one a day and usually fairly minor...he is really good. Katy (3.5) 5 a day and hers will be the hyperventilating complete freak outs

ammommy replied: 1.) Did their tantrums seem to get worse around their 2nd birthday? They got pretty intense at about 20 months.

2.) Is this a phase? When do they grow out of this? It is a phase and I don't think they actually out grow it, the tantrums change. Wait until he's three and mouthy

3.) Do they act up more with you? Do they act better for one parent and not the other? Goodness, yes. Both kids act out much more for me than anyone, although Dad is a close second

4.) What works best for a 2 year old? For us, it's been consistant time outs. We use the step for time out because you can make a child sit anywhere. I once made my son sit next to a tree at the park for misbehaving. Boy, did I get weird looks. Consistancy really is the key here. You have to stick with it even when it's inconvenient (like at church, that's always fun)

5.) Did they ever cry so hard it seemed like they were hyperventalating? My daughter does. She will even cry so hard that she gags. I just go in, get down to her level, and talk very quietly to her so that she has to calm down to hear me. So far, that's worked.

6.) How often do they have tantrums? And how long do they last? (like 20 min, ect)
That's a tough one. They last anywhere from 1-15 minutes in our house.

Good luck. This can be a tough phase. What's helping me get through it is to figure out what is triggering the tantrums and try to stop them. Hunger, tiredness, and boredom seem to be the most frequent triggers

giffmom replied: I am glad to know that there are other mothers feeling the same way that I do. Jamison throws his temper tantrum with DH, me, my mother, MIL, and my grandmother. What I am worried about is that I am about ready to have our 2nd baby and I dont know what I am going to do with him and his temper tantrums. I try to just ignore him or sometimes I swat his behind but nothing seems to work and this has just started about 3 months ago. I hope that he grows out of it soon. Jamison has a bad habit of holding his breath and tha tscares me to death when he does this. Any advise?

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I think the TT's start around 15 months, at least that's when Wil had his first tantrum and it seems to get worse every day! Yes, he has hyperventilated before and he seems to be worse with me, but I've seen it a bit more often lately with DH. My family isn't around enough to notice if he's better with them, but I imagine he would be. I figure I'm in for it for awhile - so I'm offering my shoulder for you if you offer your's to me, k?? And BTW, we have set up the Pac n Play in the corner where Wil goes for time-out. A friend taught me to say "NO, that's 1" meaning warning #1 and then "NO, that's 2"...and when you get to three, they go in time-out. It seems to be working a little, but takes time.

CAMSMOM1 replied:

Rae, I'm here for you! It's good to know I'm not alone in this.

And thanks for the great tip on the Pack & Play. And the warning system. That sounds like it might work!

Nina J replied: 1.) Did their tantrums seem to get worse around their 2nd birthday? With Emily, it was just before her second birthday.

2.) Is this a phase? When do they grow out of this? After a month or two, she settled down a bit and had less tantrums

3.) Do they act up more with you? Do they act better for one parent and not the other? She acts up more when she's with her dad, I think it's because he lets her get away with anything

4.) What works best for a 2 year old? If she's naughty we give her time outs, if she does the same thing again straight away after she gets a time out then we take away something she plays with alot for awhile.

5.) Did they ever cry so hard it seemed like they were hyperventalating? Nope.

6.) How often do they have tantrums? And how long do they last? Not very often anymore, maybe every few days. She gets over it pretty quickly, like in a few minutes because I try to ignore it. If Chris is around, she'll go on for half an hour because he doesn't ignore her.