Found out babysitter is a racist - contains offensive material

Celestrina wrote: Last week my babysitter's mom was in an accident, so she was angry and upset. After she told me about the accident she started talking about how her former neighbor couldn't afford our neighborhood anymore and had to move. Apparently the previous owners left the house a mess. She helped her move and clean up. She then started off on how the previous owners were black and left the kitchen full of grease "because you know how black people love their fried chicken." Now I have to be concerned, what is she teaching him, or at least saying in front of him? I don't know what to do. She seemed perfect - she lives only a block away, has a son about Ben's age, and does well with him. It was hard enough to find a regular babysitter.

amynicole21 replied: Ugh. I'd have to find a new babysitter if it were me - of course my DH is black so it kind of pushes the issue That's still an issue that I wouldn't want my children exposed to if I could help it

C&K*s Mommie replied: As a black woman, I know how it is, and respect everyone's opinion. Even if I am the target of it, or other black people are. I am not one to get up in arms about opinions. KWIM?

I would be concerned anyhow, about what she may be saying around your child. Not so much that I would take my girls out of that care immediately. It may just be that she has negative stereotypes against other people, and that is fine. I think we are all guilty of that in some fashion. But I would not advance and take Ben our of her care, though. Unless you see other signs that a bigger issue is made by being a b*got and thus is teaching your son things deemed inappropiate in your eyes with it. If she were to cross the line, and teach him things--- then you as the parent should step in (IMO) and remove him. Until then, it may be something that she vocalized but normally keeps to herself. KWIM?

kimberley replied: yikes, that is not something i would tolerate. tbh, i would call the sitter on it. i would explain that i didn't want my kids exposed to racism of any kind and if she were unable to comply, she could find a new job.

good luck with your decision.

luvbug00 replied: ditto to Nicole's opinion. we get a lot of the latin comments arround here since this area has LOTS of latinos.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
Ditto to what Kimberley said!

My3LilMonkeys replied:
I too would suggest trying to discuss the situation with her. I know a few people who aren't racists but i have heard them tell jokes with a racial edge b/c they think it's harmless fun - perhaps thats what she was trying to do.

luvmykids replied: No way, not only because it is completely opposite of what we teach our children but because in my experience people who harbor those kinds of thoughts harbor a lot of other thoughts/opinions/views that I don't want my children exposed to. And not only that, but I would feel by not saying anything I was contributing to it, kwim?

gr33n3y3z replied: I do not like that at all
I would sit her down and talk to her about it

kayla's mama replied: I would not tolerate that at all. I think it might be time to find a new sitter if she can't comply with your concerns.

My dad is kinda like that and it just gets under my skin so bad...I told him already that he can't curve his opinionated ways around Kayla when she can understand what we are all saying then Kayla will not be around much.....So we'll see what happens.

Sorry your sitter is being that way

kit_kats_mom replied: I would have to talk to her about it. I mean really, what kind of fool says those kinds of things anymore? Just the fact that she's so stupid to make a remark like that in your company may be enough for me to find another sitter.

And even if the previous owners were black. How does that explain the state of the house that I bought? The owners left it a disaster. It was plain nasty. They were Asian btw. Sterotypically a pretty tidy race from what I understand.

GRRRR I HATE STUPID PEOPLE!!!!

Crystalina replied: We have to remember that children are like little sponges, they absorb EVERYTHING. She may think they are not hearing her but I don't always think my kids hear me either and a week later they smack me in the face with my own words. Don't think they are not listening.
If it were me I would yank my kids out of there and fast. It takes a villiage to raise a child yes, but I don't want my kids learning from the villiage idiot.

Maddie&EthansMom replied:
My thoughts exactly! She must be such a miserable person walking around with all those thoughts/feelings. It isn't healthy.

jacobsmama replied:
I agree.

my2monkeyboys replied: To be honest, I think it was a stereotypical comment, not really racist. I think that in general, black people do like fried chicken. However, a whole lot of white people do to. (Myself included.) Stereotypes come from a generalization, usually based on a "history" of sorts.
It's kind of like the ideas of southern, mountain-living white people not having teeth and marrying their cousins. It's not racist, but it is a rather accurate stereotype based on history 50+ years ago. Or even the ideas that asians are neat, mathematically-gifted people. I'm sure there are some slobs who can't hardly add, but typically the former is more truthful.
I wouldn't absolutely fire her, but just make sure that your children are exposed to many different people, so that stereotypes aren't formed.
I don't imagine it was intended to be hurtful or mean, but I don't know this person. You will have to make that call, based on your experience with her.
I hope I have not offended anyone, as it was not my intention.
Good luck!

NEWMOM05 replied: That's a hard one. I would sit her down and feel her out. What did she mean by it? Then see how you feel. KWIM?

Bee_Kay replied: Wow, that is a terrible thing to say.

I am ashamed to admit that I live in a racist town. Small town, predominately (sp?) white. The strange thing is that I dont get why ppl are racist, because there are hardly any other people of different races here

I just say that most of the people here are racist ignorant hicks!

I hope nobody feels negatively towards me or my family for what I am about to say...... but here it goes.

When Ashley was very young we were watching TV and there was a black lady in the Miss America pagaent. Ashley blurted out "She's not very pretty". I asked "Why?" Ashley said "Because she is dark".

I came UNGLUED! I have family that is native american and also a step-neice that is milato (sp?). I pointed out this out to Ashley VERY harshly and I told her that if she feels that way then I will march her precious @$$ to our family members homes and she can darn well say that to her face. I admit that I made her feel really bad and I am not proud of that..... but I don't tolerate racist feelings or racist comments around me or in my home.

It worked like a charm. I don't know where she learned it, but she doesn't feel that way.

That kind of crap just p*sses me off to no end.

I wouldn't tolerate it !!!

MM'sMama replied: UUUGGGHH! That there is my #1 peeve I can't stand racism!!!! I agree with what the others have said!

CosmetologyMommy replied:

Brias3 replied: Like someone mentioned, if she's "brave" enough to share her negative opinions like that with someone outside the family, you hate to think what other negative feelings she harbors!

I'd DEFINITELY relay my concerns to her....that is, if you decide to even keep her around.

C&K*s Mommie replied:

Edward's Mommy replied: I don't understand racism. Maybe it's because my mom is half spanish and half black and I was taught to be proud of who I am. My mom tells me not to tell people I'm part black and I asked her why, she said this "Because they'll treat you different." I told her this "I'm not going to deny what I am, if they treat me different, that's their problem not mine! I'm not going to hide who I am to accommidate(sp) someone else." Of course, when I did tell people, they didn't believe me because of how white I look!

jcc64 replied: I'm not sure talking to her about it will really change anything. She is who she is, and isn't likely to change for your benefit. Most racists don't think they are racists, kwim?
The question you need to ask yourself is if you want your child to be in a position to be influenced by someone with these sorts of thoughts? Where there's smoke, there's fire, and even if the chicken comment was mildly innocuous, you can be certain there are darker, uglier thoughts that have gone unspoken. It's not the sort of spirit I would want my child around.

MamaJAM replied: I'm sure that's a hard choice to have to make. But - you've got to know that if she made those comments to you - she's almost definately saying the same types of stuff in front of your child. If your son spends a bunch of time with her - he's bound to pick up on here feelings (and possibly believe them).
Good Luck

ashtonsmama replied: That's ridiculous!

I'd hire a new one, I know it may be hard to find someone new in your area, but I'd rather work harder to find a nicer unbiased babysitter than have my child being brought up around someone who talked like that!

JMO.

redchief replied: I don't know that sitting her down to talk about it would do any good. I would have been taken aback by the comment too.

I'm not writing the rest of my answer because it would be an extremely unpopular opinion.

MommyToAshley replied: At the very least, I would talk to her about it. But, if it were me, I would find another sitter. Other than yourself, this person spends the most time with your child. Her views and opinions will definitely have an affect on your child.

Kated replied: OMG I would of smacked her. Tat is so freakin; rude and un-called for. I hate peopel like that! Cant we all just get along.

Momtoatween&teen replied:
Very well put!

Cece00 replied: I have to agree that I think it was more a "stereotypical" comment than racist. I feel that way esp b/c I live in Louisiana, where racism (from ALL races, not just white ppl) is pretty prevalent.