Gosh! - I'm very confused!

MommyXsTwo wrote: Let me give you all a lil back round to what I am about yo tell you. I was living with my bf for a while before his brothers had to come home to live because they had problems with their gf's. So, I had to move to my mom's for a few days. Well, after being at my mom's from Sunday until Wednesday, I got bf sick and wanted to go back. So, I get to his house and went into his room to wake him up to let him know I was there. He was all great and fine with that. Then, that night he wanted me to call someone for a ride so I could go back home. I didnt get a ride, so I stayed the night again and he was okay with that. Then, the next day, he asked me if I was going to call for a ride again. I couldnt find one, so he asked his dad (he lives with his parents) if he could take me home and he said that he wouldnt because it was fine that I stayed there since I had a job orientation that next day anyway and it would not make sense to take me home and have to be dropped off again that next morning. So, Andrew got all made and went storming out the door. I thought I would give him a lil time to cool off and he would come back and talk to me when he was ready. Well, he didnt talk to me for the rest of the night. So, the next morning before going to my orientataion, I left him a note saying I was sorry for whatever I did and asked if we could talk when I got home. Well, after I got home, he was still sleeping and I guess I had some stuff in his room and when he woke up he opened his door to his room and all of the sudden I see my make-up bag and hoodie flying across the hallway floor. I thought to myself, "Uh...okay....what just happened?" He then walks out of his room and walks outside to have a smoke, so I follow him and ask him if I can ask him a question. He said it depends on what it is in a VERY snotty tone of voice. So, I ask him if him and I are threw. He said yes. I asked him why and all he said was, "just because! dont bother me anymore!" That was Saturday morning and we have barely said a single word to eachother since then. We have barely been in the same room as eachother. Okay, now am I the only one that is confused here? I am still living there, but it is so awkward! I would move back with my mom, but she lives 50 miles away and I like and want to keep my job. I plan to move out when I get the money. But, does it seem like he was just using me? I am just so confused! How can you get tired of someone so fast and just turn off feelings like that?! I just dont know....

moped replied: How long have you been with him?

MommyXsTwo replied: I was with him for almost a year.

moped replied: So not the father of the kids???

MommyXsTwo replied: No. Thangs didnt work out with him awhole diff. story.

moped replied: Well, it does sound strange, but I wouldn't push it with him right now, he is obviously upset about something right?

MommyXsTwo replied: Yeah, and being very childish! Just because I wouldnt leave and go home that night, he broke up with me?! I mean, come on!!

moped replied: Sounds a bit crazy but obviously something is upsetting him. Maybe jsut give him soem time to settle...................I am not much help - sorry

gr33n3y3z replied: Its alot more then just bc you didnt go home

A&A'smommy replied: its seems like there is more than that too me too!

mckayleesmom replied: Ok...He lives at home with his parents correct? You stay there correct? Well now his brothers are back and that house is probably full. Could he possibly be getting told stuff by his parents about you staying there? I personally know that if I had alot of kids moving back home and my sons girlfriend and 2 kids were there also..I would have to say something...NO OFFENSE...but he might be getting stressed over it because he is probably hearing it from both ends. That might be why hes getting peeved every time you decide to spend the night...he might be feeling like he needs to break up with you instead of telling you how it should be..kwim? Yes..you might want to live with him and he might really want to live with you,,,but thats his parents home and 10-1 they are starting to get annoyed..especially since all their own kids are coming back home....Sorry if I was blunt...Ive seen it happen in my own family. Also you said before that you don't have a licence and that can take a toll too..driving you around and such with your babies. I suggest just giving him his space and working on yourself and your kids living arrangements. He might come around. Right now it sounds to me that you are expecting him to take on alot...drive you around...help with kids...place to live..etc. Just take care of you and your babies for now. Get your licence...job ..place to live established that way you don't need to rely on a man.

JAYMESMOM replied: I definetely belive something else is going on. I would give him time to cool down. If you are there were are your kids? I would suggest going to FIA and seeing about low income housing or any other kind of assistance you could get so you can get a place of your own.

As much as you may love him, etc. You need to focu on you and your kids.

amymom replied: Brianne said it best:
In another post you mentioned being with him less than two months. So I am going to sound harsh now: You have two kids, They are your responsibility, I say give this guy up, whether you are with him a year or less than that it is time to take the bull by the horns so to speak. I know you really like your new job, but it was situated around this new guy working out. I don't have all the details, but when raising kids, family support is important and it seems like Mom 50 miles away is too far. If your kids Dad is around, can you be near to him, Does this new job have potential, does it pay alot or is it entry-level, can you get a similar job somewhere else. I think this is a perfect opportunity to sit down and reevaluate what you are up to, what are your goals, what is next for you. Make decisions based on what's ahead, not behind.

I am sorry if I sound harsh, but I am trying to answer your question. I advise young mothers to 'give up' dating, be celibate, for a specific period of time, take care of noone but your kids not you and then you can know you can do it and you won't fall for just any guy who can't take care of you. You will find a guy to take care of you like you deserve.
PS: Period of time is of your choosing it should be five years but definetely NO LESS than one year.

Ok I am off my soapbox now.

Maddie&EthansMom replied:


This is very true. I normally don't give this kind of advice, but I totally agree what she said. Your kids need to be your priority. Be true to yourself and don't worry about a man right now. You don't need a man do you? You can get further ahead without one IMO.

luvbug00 replied: Hi,

I am also a young mother and i agree that the kids should be first. But I also know what it's like to be alone and it stinks. I think this guy may not be right for you. I also think he feels heat for having you and your kids there. Just save up and get out. I think that you should not forget about yourself. If your not happy the kids won't be happy. good luck

MommyXsTwo replied: Thanx for your replies. Him and I are getting along now but we are going to take things slow. And I am not putting anything on him. He does not have a license either. He explained to me that I didnt do anything wrong and that it was his parents getting on him about getting a job that made him upset and he took it out on me.

Not much time to type but thought I would update you all.

mammag replied: If you don't mind me asking....Is there a reason you don't have your license? I can't imagine taking care of 2 kids that young and having to rely on others to get around....