Had a talk with the kids from work... - about the "fat" comments they made

CAMSMOM1 wrote: I took Mel's (tannersmom) advice, and had a talk with the kids from work, about the comments they made about me being overweight.

(One of the boys, Frankie, wrote me a apology letter.)

I sat them down, and told them how they hurt my feelings when they called me names. How much I do for them, and how much I care about them. I talked to them about the power of their words, and how it can really affect a person's feelings. That we all have our faults, and none of us are perfect.

I asked them, "Have any of you been teased before by someone?" And all of them said yes, but one. One was teased about his weight, the other boy was teased about his height, one of the girls said she was teased about her buck-teeth. And we talked about how that hurt them, and how it isn't nice.

We talked a lot about RESPECT, gossiping, appearance and how each person is unique and different, but it's the inside that matters. And no matter how mad you are at someone, it doesn't give you the right to make fun or gossip.

We had a loooooong talk, about an hour. And they did a lot of the talking, and it was nice to get some feedback, and allow them to share. One of the boys, Chris, started crying, because he's been stressed out with homework, tests, and his home life. And another boy, Frankie, started crying when he apoligized to me. He was the one who wrote me a nice apology letter.

I think, or I hope, that this taught them a lesson. And I believe they walked away, with a better understanding of things. They are great kids, but they are kids...and I know they didn't mean to hurt me. But it has inspired me to start losing weight, and feeling better about myself.

And they all said at the end, what a cool teacher I am, and how much I mean to them.

MM'sMama replied: Ann! Thats so great I am so proud of you! I know that took a lot. WTG! And you gave them some great outlooks on it and a lot of understanding. I'm sure it really made them sit and think. Good for you that is so wonderful!

Nina J replied: I think you did great, you should be proud. This is something they will probably remember in years to come, and it will hopefully stop them from making comments that can hurt in the future.

And, good thing's can come out of bad things. Good for you for getting motivated about losing weight. You definatly are the coolest teacher I know

amynicole21 replied: Yay! I think you made an impression

holley79 replied: Glad it got worked out. That is something that will follow them for the rest of their lives. It's wonderful that you are able to make an impact.

Mom2BNTN replied: Ann, I know confronting thh kids about their fat comments wasn't easy, but I am so proud of you for being the adult in that situation and for giving the kids a lesson in life they might not have learned anywhere else. You really did the right thing!! Now the kids will have a lot more respect for you and hopefully for others as well. WTG ANN!!

JP&KJMOM replied: That is great Ann. Hopefully the kids will think about your conversation before they do something like that again. I know it made you feel better also.

MiniMomy replied: Ann, you did great! I would be honored to have a teacher like you!

CosmetologyMommy replied: I am so glad everything worked out and the kids realized what they did was wrong!

Crystalina replied: ITA with MiniMommy, I'm sure you are a great teacher and I would love to have my children in your class. Too many teachers would just sweep somthing like that under the rug and lesson learned ....nothing.

ilovemybaby replied: YAY! Good on you. I'm glad they listened and that your words meant something to them. They sound like pretty good kids in the end...

Kated replied: Im glad you had the talk with them and everything is better!

CAMSMOM1 replied:

Thanks for saying that, that was very sweet.

I knew this gave me a good opportunity to talk to them about some "life lessons". We had a really good conversation, I knew I didn't want to lecture them...just talk about it, and we hit some really good topics, and I think they learned a lot. And I realized even at their age, the type of stress they are feeling with everyday life, and how much pressure they are feeling from school, homework, parents, friends, ect. And we were comforting each other, and everyone walked away feeling a lot better about things, and more understood.

They also said I'm the only teacher they've ever been able to "talk" to like this, and that they consider me a friend, and a cool teacher. They are great kids, actually if I had "favorites" that's what they would be. I guess that's why it hurt at first, because I do favor & care about them. But it's all worked out now, and we ended up having a nice afternoon together. This is my last year with them, since next yr they'll be in Jr. High. So I wanted to end this year good, and I think we all have more respect & understanding for each other.

Bee_Kay replied: Ann-
I am glad you took the approach that you did. It shows what a wonderful person/teacher you are.
So many teachers would resort to punishment, not showing the children the harm their words can inflict.
I believe that children should be held accountable for their actions and they cannot learn if they aren't shown consequences.

Good for you for turning the tables on them and asking them if they've ever been the victim of teasing, gossip, ect. I am sure it made them think.

So many people under estimate the intelligence of even young children.

So, hats off to you! Good job!!

CAMSMOM1 replied:

Two of the boys were grounded by their parents. The boys decided to tell their parents what happened, and because of it, they grounded them. But I had a good talk with their parents, in front of the boys. I do agree that they have to be accountable, and I'm glad their parents did step in. I knew if I punished them at work, all it would do was make them angier and not ressolve the issue. But I did tell them that if they want all the freedoms I have gave them in the past, then they have to earn it. It's not just freely given, if they decide to gossip about me, talk back to me, ect, then they aren't going to get their way. They are so used to getting whatever they want, without thinking if they have earned it. kwim? They have been giving a lot of attitude to my teachers lately, and that has to stop. So they know there are boundaries, and even though we had a good talk, they have to follow the rules, just like all the rest of the children. They've been in my program for 5 years, and they think they are to cool to be there anymore. I told them they don't have a choice, their parents have to work, and they can't stay home alone. So since they have to be in childcare for another year, they might as well make the best of it.

kayla's mama replied: Glad that your talk with the kiddos went well

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Great job Ann! You should be super proud of yourself!

kimberley replied: good for you. you taught them a very important life lesson.

ashtonsmama replied: GOOD JOB teacher Ann!!!!

I'm so happy you used what was pretty hurtful and turned it into a good learning tool for them...and how sweet that Frankie wrote a letter...

I'm so happy it worked out like this-you're teaching them a valuable lesson most teachers just ignore...

gr33n3y3z replied: It sounds like you did a great job Ann