Has anyone done the Cry it out - or Fereber method

moped wrote: or any sort of sleep schedule with your child.........I have and it has changed my life, it wasn't Ferber method but a course I took in my city and it worked - he does sleep 12 hours and naps as much as he should for his age.

I was reading on the internet some people that had some very strong feelings towards all these methods......

Any thoughts anyone?

coasterqueen replied: I have very strong feelings against the Ferber Method/Cry it Out...especially for me and my family personally.

I'm glad it worked well for yours though.

Boys r us replied: I'm adamently opposed to crying it out as well for my kiddos! But that's a decision we all have to make and decide what works for us and it sounds like this works for you! Which is great!

MomToMany replied: I'm also against the CIO/Ferber method. It's too cruel for our children. To me, children cry for a reason, and shouldn't be ignored or forced to comfort themselves. I believe its our job as parents to comfort them whenever they need it to give them a strong sense of trust. They won't get that when they are CIO by themselves with no one answering their crying.

moped replied: Good points -

For Jack, he never slept - EVER......it was wierd, and he hardly cried at all - now he seems excited to go to bed and we haven't heard crying for over 3 months.

coasterqueen replied:
I know what you mean about them not sleeping . My almost 28 month old still does not sleep through the night. She slept through the night maybe 4 times so far. She's up at least several times a night too. I figure by the time she's a teenager...I won't even need sleep by then and I'll just make sure she doesn't get any by then either.

Kaitlin'smom replied: I am also aganist the CIO method. It was not for me, but I also dont rush to her at every little sound/cry/wimper. I have learned when she needs me. Coures now she just calles me if she needs me.

I am glad it worked for you, for it it was a constant routine that has really helped her sleep most nights through.

kit_kats_mom replied: I'm pretty much against letting kids CIO too. That said, if my situation had been different (working outside of the home) I would have had to do something but I'm not sure what that would have been.

I let my DD cry in the crib twice for nap times but it was more because I'd had it and I figured letting her cry was better than letting her see the steam coming out of my ears KWIM? She only cried for 5 mins or so though before I went and got her. I felt guilty for days both times.

moped replied: I was 33 when I had Jack and I honestly did not realize sleep would be my and his biggest issues - WOW!!!!!

A routine is so important!

My sister has a 1 year old and she has never had a problem with him sleeping ever - so of course I thought mine would be the same - LOL.........NOT! Her baby is soooooo good and always has been.

coasterqueen replied:
Yeah I know how that is. Routine is important, I agree but it still doesn't work with some stubborn ones....like my DD . We've had the same routine since she was about a year old and it hasn't worked. Well I guess I should say we've tried to change it a bit here and there to get it to work and it doesn't. She goes to sleep easily now but staying asleep is a different story.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: When you have a strong willed child like I do, CIO does not work. Maddie would only get louder. We still can't ignore her at bedtime. If we ignore her she gets worse.

When Ethan was first sleeping in his crib I let him cry for a few minutes for the first couple of nights. Some nights nothing worked. I held him, rocked him, and knew he was just overly tired so I put him in his crib and let him cry. I was worried about it, but read somewhere that babies get uncomfortable and frustrated and 'need' to cry just like most adults need a good cry. It is okay for a baby to cry, but not to lie in there and scream their heads off for most of the night. I only had to do this twice and both times he cried less than 2 minutes before he drifted off to sleep. Now he goes to bed just fine. He loves going to bed and never makes a peep. I didn't use a method, I just used my instincts. What you have to remember is that all babies and situations are different. One method doesn't work for everyone and we all have to do what works for us.

MommyToAshley replied: I researched both sides of the issue, and while there is evidence from experts to support both sides... I decided against it. I wouldn't be able to handle it, my heart would just break and I would feel so guilty. I decided it wasn't the best solution for our family. But, everyone has to do what works best for them.

My2Beauties replied: I had this discussion with someone last night and while we do have problems with Hanna sleeping through the night, I wake up with her at least 2-4 times and my fiance is a softy about bringing her into the bed with us but I still will not let her cry it out. I will let her wimper for a couple of minutes thinking maybe she is doing tha tin her sleep, because she does sometimes and she goes right back to sleep, but if she starts crying really loud and I hear her standing up in her crib I go right int here. I think letting a child CIO is cruel, they count on us for comfort and if you let them CIO then they can't trust in you enough IMHO!!! That is just my 2 cents, I'm glad it worked for your family. I considered this method when I read about it but then every other book I read was completely against it and went into detail as to why it's not a good idea for a baby!!! I still have sleep issues with my DD but I will just deal with them for now, I can't stand to her my baby cry! Oh yeah and when they cry for long periods of time they swallow so much air that they can throw up really bad...I just don't think them laying in their bed swallowing air and possibly throwing up in that position is a good idea KWIM

moped replied: I have heard of them throwing up - luckily Jack never did any of that......he maybe cried 5 minutes the first night and 2 the next and now nothing at all......he really needed sleep and I needed to give it to him and ME!!!! But I agree, I couldn't handle them throwing up - that would kill me

Maddie&EthansMom replied:
That sounds like Ethan. My ped (and most would disagree) told me that I need to be rested in order to do my job (as a SAHM). I agree that rest is vital. Maddie is high needs and with an infant that needs me to be on my toes all day I really needed my rest. I was slipping into depression FAST and I had to do something. That is why I say that the situation is different for everyone. Some people can handle way more than others. I'm one that can't handle so much. Not to mention I have a DH who works all the time and isn't around to help out. It wears you down after awhile. Ethan also had reflux so I couldn't let him cry too much. It worried me silly.

moped replied: Yep, Jack was colicky and I waited until that subsided......the first few months were so hard, I never slept and Tom was working shift work at a golf course so he wasn't around..............it was a hard summer and I felt I had to do soemthing to give both Jack and myself what we needed..........now he is too easy and so much fun to be with.

He gets his 6 months needles today - I hate that. I ususally make Tom tkae him into the room, but he can't today - so I am it!!!!!

YUCK

gr33n3y3z replied: The Dr told us to make sure he wasnt hungry and a dry diaper and told us to let him cry it out if it werent for my hubby I could never have done it by myself but he only cried for 10 min. and lasted only 2 nights after that never had any problems

jcc64 replied: Did it to my 1st born- I was stupid and I unquestionably did what all the relatives told me to- back then there was no internet, message boards, etc. There were books, of course, but most pointed to the CIO method, and there weren't any other new moms I could bounce things off of at the time. I can still remember his heartbreaking screaming, and I will never forgive myself. Yes, it worked, mainly b.c it broke his spirit and he gave up. Learned my lesson the hard way, at my son's expense, and practiced AP with the next 2. Firmly against ferber or any other CIO, but like Aimee said, every child/family/circumstance is different. Glad it all worked out well for you.

jdkjd replied: I don't believe in CIO for babies under 4-6 months but when for us, we knew at a certain point that Kiera could go through the night without needing to eat. So at 8 months, we started giving her bottle an hour before bed time and then doing bath/storytime and then getting her relaxed and sleepy and THEN laying her down.

She would sit up and we would lay her back down. If she sat up more than two times, I would walk out and come right back in and lay her down (repeatedly) until she stayed laying down. Then I would pat her.

After she learned to stay laying down and went to bed without the bottle, she slept through the night. It was wonderful.

So we let her cry a little, but at 8 months and 20 lbs, I felt she was ready.

loveydad replied:
I'm sorry, but I agree with MomtoMany. I want m kdis to know that if they cry I'll be there, even at nighttime. That being said there has been times where I just could not deal with the incessant crying (specially tracy, she had colic really bad) where I'd put her in her crib or swing or whatever and just basically let her do her thing. I just cant stand listening to them cry and knowing theres nothing I can do, you know ? You'd think I'd be used to it by now, and I am when they're crying because they're angry or hungry or whatever and i'm working on it, but not when they're lonely and upset in their cribs.

A&A'smommy replied: I tried it once after getting really frustrated because she would not take naps but I couldn't stand and I just held her and now she takes her naps a lot better most days!

elvisfan replied: Well, my oldest has been a good sleeper from the get go. Ds2 has never slept thru the night and he's 3 1/2. (OK i think he slept thru the night 2 times!) ANyway, we still have to sleep beside him and he wakes up sooooooo many times a night. I agree that when he's a teenager at least I won't have to sleep beside him! Dr. says I got him into the bad habit of going in every single time he would start to cry a little. He has acid reflux and he will throw up if he cries for too long.

Now ds3 was still waking up at 11months old and Dr. again said I was getting him into this habit. So I did CIO thankfully it was only 15min of crying for a few nights and ever since he's been sleeping perfectly. I would've never let him cry for hours or anything like that though. That's excessive.