Help - boyfriend leaving - single 19 yr old mother to be

FrogFeet wrote: Recently I have discovered that I'm 8 weeks pregnant.. I'm only 19 and my boyfriend is 16. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 months (not long.. I know). But it feels like we've been together forever. I just told my parents... they're upset but being extremely supportive about this. He told his parents and they're blaming this on me. They're saying that I tricked him into having a baby. They're feeing his head with lies and he's torn... so he asked for a 'break' but claimed that we will get back together. I'm heart broken, I don't want to go through this alone. My boyfriend has suggested abortion or adoption... I've looked into those options and I've decided to keep the baby. His parents made him break up with me and want nothing to do with this. His mother was pregnant when she was 16, she out of all the people I thought she'd be a little bit more understanding and supportive... I'm lost... I don't know what to do.... help..

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I'm so sorry he is leaving you. I think maybe right now he might be feeling very overwhelmed by everything! He's only 16 and he is probably looking at all of the things that he will loose, not gain once this baby comes! Give him and his family time to adjust and they might just come around.

aspenblue1 replied: I am sorry he is leaving you. ITA his parents are probably telling him all the things he will have to give up. Maybe they will all come around. My friend just went through having a baby on her own and the man is 35 and decided that he didn't want another child after she became pregnant. Just try to stay positive everything will work out.

FrogFeet replied: I'm trying to stay positive. Last night I went into his work to talk to him. I was crying and he told me he loved me with all his heart... that his heart is telling him to stay with me but his mind is telling him to leave me. Before his mom yanked him out of school yesterday morning, everything was fine. We both were excited about this. We both were working on the fianical plans, living arrangements... and we were talking about names. His brother and his mom told him that I faked pregnancy before with an ex's brother who they claimed I have dated. This is untrue but he doesn't know who to believe - what reasons do they have for lying to him? I believe his family is trying to protect him, and I respect that. BUT for them to feed him lies and have him to believe such bull**it is killing me. We're on a spring break right now and I'm not allowed to see nor talk to him for the whole break. This is tearing me apart... We've never gone a day without talking before so a whole week sucks. We work together but we won't be able to talk too much while working... I'm going insane! I'm tempted to show up at his house and yell at his mom for tearing us apart for her own selfish purposes... Sorry...

ediep replied: that is a tough situation....wish I had some advice for you. Try to relax...all this stress isn't good for the baby or for you! (((Hugs)))

Good luck!

kimberley replied: showing up at his house and freaking out is the worst thing you can do. you have to remember that his family really doesn't know you that well and they are only trying to protect their son. if you show up there on a rampage, you are just going to give his mom more reason not to like you or trust you. i was 23yo when i got pg. my ex was 26yo. he broke up with me too and suggested abortion and told me i was selfish to have the baby alone and he was gonna move to new york. i said it was his choice but i was having the baby. after he had time to adjust to the idea of being a parent (a couple of weeks) he came back to me and decided to be there for his child. it is just really shocking when you are so young and it is a surprise pg and you haven't been with the person that long. give it time. i know it's hard but it's what you have to do. he is very young. having a baby is the hardest and most rewarding job you wil have in your life. surround yourself with people who love you and will help you care for the baby. read pg and parenting books, work, hang out with friends... just try to stay positive and keep occupied so you are not dwelling on not seeing him. stress is not healthy for you or the baby. his family will come around in time. ((((hugs)))) and we are here to talk whenever you need to.

coasterqueen replied: ((HUGS)) I wish I had some advice for you. Just try to give him the time he may need to adjust to this since he is only 16. Hopefully he will come around and do what he thinks is best, even if that means defying his parents advice.

FrogFeet replied: Thanks... this means a lot. Hopefully I'll see him at work tomorrow and maybe things will be less awkward. Thanks guys

A&A'smommy replied: Oh hunny! I was 17 when I got pg and my husband (now fiancee then) was 20. We had only been together for five months so it was really hard at first! He is really young so its going to be realy hard for him. But he needs to stand up to his parents because it is his baby too. I'm not really sure what to tell you, except that I understand you dont want to be alone! My advice is to stand up for what you believe in and tell him he needs to do the same! I'm sorry your in such a difficult situation!! ((((BIG HUGS))) If you want someone to talk to you can email me or pm me!


edited to say: UH I'm sorry I didn't see your last post! UGH I would be extremly mad at his parents they way they are acting is extremly immature. Do you have a pg test center around there or somewhere, where you can get proof that you are pg? If you do that then maybe you can PROVE to them that you ARE pregnant. Geez this is the last thing you need right now I'm sooo sorry you are going through this!

paradisemommy replied: i was gonna suggest the same thing as jessica (along the same lines)..look up in the yellow pages of your phone book for a pregnancy crisis clinic - they are there to help you deal with your pregnancy and should also give you another test to confirm your pregnancy. i went to one when i was pg with my son and it's a non-profit company so they won't charge you and are there to help you. i think i would feel alone and abandoned too if i were you but at least you have the support of your parents which is a big deal. i would just back off and let him try and figure things out for your own. when you talk to him at work just reassure him that his parents are telling him lies and that they don't even know you and have no right to be making up such bad stories of you and if he wants to know the true you to go talk to YOUR parents. hang in there. it'll get better.

CantWait replied: I'm so sorry you're going through this right now, however we're there for you if you need us. In the worst case, there are options, but I really think your bf just needs time to adjust to the idea of having a baby

pinka_star replied: I'm really sorry you're going through this right now. When I became pregnant when I was 19 my boyfriend at the time was cheating on me. I walked in on him, and of course we ended our relationship that night. I told him I was pregnant and he told me it wasn't his.

I hope your boyfriend can stick up to his Mother about this. It would be a shame for you to go through all this by yourself. I know how hard it can be. Good luck honey, and please keep us updated!!! *hugs*

FrogFeet replied: My boyfriend, his mother and I had a long talk the other day. We are all upset about this. His mother apologized and she told me she loves me like her own daughter and she's just scared. I understood where she was coming from so we talked for a few hours... and we've come to the conclusion where no one is angry at anyone. My boyfriend and I have messed up, and our mistake has caused both of our families to suffer because this affects everyone not just us. She's letting us talk but says we both should focus on our jobs for now and at the end of the week we all could do something, and I think it sounds fair. My boyfriend and I work together so we see each other a little bit if we work the same shift, so there are no complaints.. thank you for all your help!

CantWait replied: I'm so glad that you guys could all resolves the issues. Now you can focus on you and baby. H&H 9 months

A&A'smommy replied: I'm glad you guys have everything worked out! That is wonderful! I hope that the rest of your pregnancy is uneventful! I'm wishing you a happy and healthy nine months! ((HUGS)) Please keep us updated on everything!

pinka_star replied: I'm really happy you worked things out!!!! It'll make the next 9 months easier on you.

FrogFeet replied: the next 9 months won't be as special... I miscarried yesterday at work.. or I think I did.. I'm going to check tomrorow. Mom wants me to go in for an ultrasound to see what happened n so on.

A&A'smommy replied: oh sweetie! im soooo sorry!! Ugh sorry i stuck my foot in my mouth! (((BIG HUGS))) I hope you will keep us updated!!

FrogFeet replied: what's there to keep you updated? i lost it... i screwed up and i feel like sh**

Julie (jem0622) replied: Tanya...sweetie...I am praying for you. We genuinely care about one another and want to know what is going on. I recently miscarried and it was tough. Even after having three kids (one I relinquished for adoption when I was 18). It was hard. Do not blame yourself if you truly miscarried. Bleeding can happen. I hope that you did not miscarry.

There are gals here who have miscarried. Some have had angels born still. We can listen and talk with you. Please don't feel that you can't talk just because your situation may have changed.

I am glad that your boyfriend's mother took a step back and made it a lot less about her and put the focus where it belonged.

HUGS

Julie

A&A'smommy replied:
ITA! And I will also keep you in my prayers. And like Julie said we all care about each other here, no matter what we are here for one another. I asked you to keep us updated because I want to know that YOU are okay!

kimberley replied: i am so sorry for your loss. Julie is right, there are a lot of us who have lost a baby and we are here to support each other during a very difficult time. they say 1 in 4 pg end in m/c and there is no reason for it. it is not your fault. sometimes, it is just not meant to be. just know we are here for you if you need to talk.

aspenblue1 replied: I am so sorry for your loss. We are here if you need to talk.

FrogFeet replied: Last night I went into the hospital with my mom.... things seem to be okay but they're still concerned so today I have an ultrasound in half an hour and I need to pee Mom won't let me.. lol ..They said heavy bleeding and clotting after 4 days isn't good... I'm scared... but they say I shouldn't be scared... :S:S

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I'm praying for you! I had a lot of spotting and heavy bleeding with my last pregnancy. Everything turned out fine and we never did find out why it happened! Please try not to worry!

Elle replied: Oh dear, I hope you and your baby are alright. Please tell us when you have news... I'll be praying for you.

FrogFeet replied: Hmm, yeah.. the baby's gone.. the fetus is at least... The ultasound went good.. nothing's left inside me... feels like I did something wrong and that I killed it.

A&A'smommy replied: (((((BIG HUGS))))) If you need to talk to someone we are here for you! ((((((BIG HUGS))))) And it is NOT your fault, these things happen sometimes!

FrogFeet replied: I know.. I know these things happen... that's what my boyfriend's been telling me.. but it still hurts ..

A&A'smommy replied:
I have no idea what your going through sweetie! I wish I could say something to give you some comfort! ((((BIG HUGS))) Just know that you have TONS of people who love you and are willing to be there for you for whatever you need, and it sounds like you b/f is a wonderful guy! ((((BIG HUGS)))

BTW I hope I'm not saying to much and making you uncomfortable or anything!

pinka_star replied: Oh my gosh, I am SO sorry. I was thinking about you earlier and wondering how you were doing. I'm sorry you're going through this. *Hugs*

Guest_angelhair replied: I am so sorry, I had 2 miscarriages and it was so tough. I went through a lot of emotions through it all, schock, a deep sadness, guilt, anger and swung back and forth. there is a sight on this forum called precious angels for those who have been through it. you are not alone

Elle replied: I'm really sorry... I don't know what to say...

*~*Rebecca*~* replied: I am so sorry to hear of your loss.