Homeschooling Thoughts About The Media - From someone that was homeschooled

ataylorm wrote: I have noticed that there seems to be a lot of discussion about home schooling, especially from the Wife Swap show, so I thought I would share my own personal experience for anyone considering it, or wanting to know what "most" people actually do for home schooling.

First a little background:

I was home schooled from the first grade on, with a brief stint in private school in 5th grade, and public school in 7th grade. My parents were Christian, and we did use a Christian curriculum. My parents did give me the option of home schooling, private school, or public school when I was old enough (12-13 I think) to decide.

On to my story:

My parents decided to home school me during first grade after I was thrown out of Kindergarten for cussing out the teacher; apparently I was the little hellion at that point in life. It wasn't really their intention to do it long term, more just during our move from Colorado to Oklahoma and until I was able to have my behavior corrected.

As they continued to teach me, and my brother, they found that I seemed to be learning better home schooling than I did when I was in public school. My dad's job at the time was constantly requiring us to move, (15 times or so before I was 18), so they decided to continue home schooling me.

My parents were not overly religious with the home schooling, nor were they simply skirting the system. We actually worked through a real private school, which allowed me to study remotely. My class work would arrive in regular intervals; I would study the material, complete the quizzes and tests, and my mom would mail them in to be graded and such. This allowed me to earn a real diploma from a real school.

Our home burned down when I was twelve years old (about a month before I turned thirteen). At this time I had to attend public school for a couple of months while my parents fought with the insurance company to get our stuff replaced and such. After this my parents gave me the option each year to go to public or private school, or to stay home. I chose to stay home, while my brother chose to go to a private school. A choice I have never regretted, and would make again any day.

Now that you know a little about my background, let me dispel a few myths about home schooling.

M: You have to be a religious nut to home school your kids.

T: This is a media farce, most home schooling families are religious, but very few are what you might consider nuts. They go to church on Sunday, and don't generally do bad things like murder and robbery, but other than that, they don't fit the nut category. They have TV's, they don't live in communes, their kids are allowed to play with the neighbors, they don't have any assault weapons, etc, etc. My parents were what I would call mild Christians. They owned their own business, had lots of outside church friends, lived in normal Middle America neighborhoods, watched R rated movies with us, etc, etc.

M: Home school kids are socially restricted.

T: Not so, I had dozens of friends, adult and child. I didn't have very many days during a week when I wasn't doing some group activity, either church, home schooling, neighbor kids, etc. There are even home schooling dances, proms, etc. If your active in the home schooling group, or your remote private school, you are not socially restricted, and probably actually have better opportunities than public school students to do things like travel the world with other students.

M: Home school kids don't get to play sports.

T: Again, a media distortion. There are LOTS of sport opportunities for home school kids. Most public schools now are required to allow home school kids to try out for the teams, as well if you go through a private school remote program, you can join their teams, and most major cities have a home school group or two that offer teams which compete against the public and private schools. I wasn't much into sports, but it certainly wasn't for my parents not trying, I was forced to play basketball for years, despite hating it. (I am a bit short for the sport, and because of eye problems, I can't track fast moving flying objects)

M: Home school kids have a hard time getting into college.

T: This is far from true, the fact is that home school kids have a better chance of getting into the best colleges and getting grants and scholarships. Colleges have learned in the last few decades that home school kids tend to be smarter and better at learning. Personally I could have gone to nearly any college I wanted, I was offered full scholarship to MIT and several state colleges.

M: Home school kids can't get a job easily.

T: Well I have been working full time since I was 9 years old (my parents company), and running my own business since I was 12. When I joined the Air Force at 17 1/2, I had all five branches of the military fighting over me when I ACE'ed their entrance tests. When I left the air force at 18 (I was to "independent" according to them), I was immediately able to find a job in the private sector making nearly $60,000 a year, and at the ripe age of 19 I was working for Microsoft.

M: It takes a lot of work to teach your kids at home.

T: If you choose a good program, we used A.C.E. it won't take much of your time at all. Especially once you get past the stage of learning to read and such. I think my mom spent maybe an hour a day helping me until I was 11-12, after that, I did nearly everything myself following the easy to understand guides.

Now a little bit more about me and my experiences.

Home schooling isn't generally a slacker education, my parents were very strict, I got up every morning, and I got straight to work on my school work, and until I was done, I wasn't able to do anything else. My parents required that I did 2 days of regularly scheduled class work every day, and that I make no less than a B+ on everything, or I had to pay for the books/tests and redo them. We didn't have summer break, spring break, or generally any other break. With the exception of a vacation here or there, we generally took our school work anywhere we went, and had to complete it each day.

Now that may sound harsh, but let me shed a little more light. Once I was 10 years old or so, school work generally took me only a couple hours a day. I could generally finish my entire class work before lunch, and spend the rest of the day doing what ever I wanted. By the time I was twelve or so, I was able to do an entire 2 days work in just 2 hours. I was an early bird, and was usually able to finish my school work before most other kids were even getting on the bus.

Home schooling gave me advantages that I would have NEVER had in a public or private school. I was able to work with my parent’s company full time, build my own computer business and best of all graduate high school at the tender age of 14! Now there was one problem with that, I was the only 15 year old in my college, but I also had the best grade in nearly every class.

Personally I feel blessed that I was home schooled. For one, my home schooling allowed me to excel beyond anything the public schools could have hoped for. I was programming computers when I was 8 years old. I was able to sell my software to local businesses when I was 12! And when most kids were just starting college, I was making nearly $75,000 a year working for the largest computer company in the world.

Did I miss out on anything home schooling? Sure I did! I mean there wasn't anyone at home pressuring me to smoke, or do drugs. I didn't have any pressure to have sex, or be super cool. I didn't have any pressure to break any laws, cause civil disobedience, or anything else like that.

So when you think of home schooling, take a moment to forget that 99.9% of the media distorts the truth for a liberal agenda, and think about what it could really offer your children. A better future, a better relationship with you, less pressure to do the wrong things, better opportunities to learn, and so much more.

my2monkeyboys replied: I'm so glad to hear of your positive experience. I am just starting homeschooling my son (pre-k) and am ever doubting my self. I just hope I can do as well with him as your parents seem to have done with you.
Thank you for sharing.

ashtonsmama replied: Thank you taking the time to share all that Andrew! I've long thought about homeschooling my kids, and I'm always looking for stories from adults and older kids who have been homeschooled, so this was great to read! Thank you!

luvmykids replied: I think homeschooling is an awesome option. I wish people could get over the stereotypes and give a pat on the back to the dedicated parents who are able to do it!

A&A'smommy replied: Thank you for sharing!!! I was homeschooled and I had the choice to go to school but I enjoyed homeschooling!!

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Thank you for sharing. I'm still torm on whether I want to homeschool or not. My oldest son is in school now... and he loves it... but there are some days where he comes home with a new word that I don't like.

5littleladies replied: Thank you so much for sharing your experience! It really is nice to hear someone telling the positive side once in awhile. I homeschool my kids and we really enjoy it. I hope our experience ends up at least somewhat like yours-So far it is.

ataylorm replied: You know one of the things I liked best about home schooling, was that in the afternoons when everyone else was in school I got to do cool stuff. I am not sure how old your kids are, and it probably won't mean much to them until they are a little older, but I always thought it was super cool that I could go to the movies at noon on premier days and stuff.

mom2my2cuties replied:
You still think it is super cool that you can go to the movies at noon on premier days

ataylorm replied: Jennifer,

Looks like you have quit the little school going on there. Good luck with it, and glad to hear you are doing good with it. Are your kids old enough to want to socialize? Have you found enough sources for them?

5littleladies replied:
My oldest is 8 and she loves it when we head out the door after lunch when we are done with school and go to the park or the library. We can decide to go on a field trip at a moments notice-we all enjoy that. There are lots of things that homeschoolers are able to do because of their flexible schedules.

5littleladies replied:
Goodness yes! They have kids clubs, soccer, homeschool gym time, etc. We are church goers so they have lots of church friends (and non-church friends too ). It is really a sad misconception that homeschooled kids are unsocialized. What I love about homeschooling is that my kids are not only very "socialized", but since we hang out with other families with kids at various ages, they learn how to interact with people of all ages!

ataylorm replied: That was always a benefit for me as well. My wife seems convinced that it was a disadvantage, because by the time I was a pre-teen I had at least as many friends that were adults as I did that were kids. But then again, I think that had more to do with my business success than home schooling. I mean I was a member of the chamber of commerce before I could drive!

cameragirl21 replied: ATaylor,
Since you posted this yesterday I've been meaning to thank you for taking the time to write out this clearly well thought out and thorough post.
I must say, and I hope I don't offend anyone when I say this that I am by nature, quite a big fan of kids being socialized in a classroom setting and thereby not a big fan of homeschooling. I will say though that I have all the respect in the world for any mom or caretaker who takes the time and energy to take on a project of this magnitude...I can only imagine what a responsibility it is!
I guess my experience with homeschooling goes back to when I was a kid, a teenager to be exact and my next door neighbor's kid started getting picked on in school so his mother took him out and hired someone to homeschool him. She never considered that he had some social problems that needed to be addressed and as a result I was continually amazed at his poor social skills...it only got worse after she took him out of school because he had no one to socialize with, other than his instructor.
I guess I figure (and bear with me because I have an advanced degree in psychology and thereby look at things from that standpoint) that the world is not about mommy and daddy and that getting out into preschool and then regular school is an important part of a child's learning about the world. For me as an only child, it was a rude awakening just to go to college and have a roommate who thought nothing of using my things without asking me...she was the oldest of four kids and they all used each other's things but I had never had to share anything before, not to mention that I had to learn that the world does not think I'm as wonderful as mom and dad do and for this reason I also recommend that people have more than one child. For me social development was and is always paramount.
I will say this though--sometime back, I asked Jennifer (4littleladies) some questions about her homeschooling and one thing that really struck me from what little she told me is what an amazing education her kids are getting...I even commented about it to my webmaster/graphic designer that I work with in my business. There is no question a child can get a more than stellar education if the homeschooling is done well.
It seems as if those who were/are homeschooled see it as a very positive experience so to me that's all that matters. And again, more power to those of you who do it everyday, no way I could do it.

my2monkeyboys replied: The flexibility is such a definite "pro" to homeschooling. Being able to do what you want when you want is so nice! Although we are not part of a church anywhere right now, I've been looking around trying to decide on one to try. That will help with the socialization aspect even more for us. Though he already is part of a weekly homeschool group and is on the local soccer team. And it's true what was said about homeschoolers learning how to get along with people of all ages. Will can and will strike up a conversation with an adult just as quickly as with an older child or one his own age.

edit: I read cameragirl's post after I had posted mine. Just wanted to say, with the neighbor who was pulled out of school for being picked on: I don't think that him being homeschooled after the fact had much to do with the situation or the fact that he had poor socialization skills. I think some people by nature do not have those skills to a great degree, and that it may take more than just sending them to school to help that. The mother may not have helped matters by pulling him out without giving him social opportunities to replace those that he lost. That's why it's important to make sure the children have those opportunities, whether they are in a public/private school or not. I also don't believe that getting bullied in school is helpful to anyone. In the adult world it's not typical for people to steal your lunch money or beat you up in the bathroom. I don't think any child needs to go through that to learn anything. As for having only one child, I can see your concern, but I think that the way a parent raises a child and that child's personality has more to do with the "shock" factor as the child gets out on their own then the fact that they may or may not be an only child.

ataylorm replied: Jennifer,

Sounds to me like your neighbors problem wasn't a lack of social interaction, or a bad home schooling experience, but more a lack of good parenting. I have only known one or two home schooled families that I would consider having a lack of social interaction, and that was because they were very extreme in their religion, and that was a problem with everyone in their religion. But that's probably why their church only had like 20 people in it.

I don't think I had a single day when I didn't have some social activity planned. Whether it was bowling (my sport), computer clubs, group outings, 4H, church, field trips, etc, etc. I was never bored or lonely.

The problems you speak of in your post, come not from home schooling, but more from bad parenting. If you do not spend time with your child and bring them up properly with love, care, and training, then you can't expect them to do ok in the real world. The problem with society today, is that parents rely on the school system to raise their kids because they are to busy to do it themselves, and that is truly what screws kids up.

But that is a debate best left for another day.

ashtonsmama replied:
Let me just say that (in the situation of your neighbor and many other children that are picked on and bullied at school) I 100% completely think that the PARENT, and ONLY the parent, knows their child best, and they should be the only ones deciding on what environment best suits their child. I think that leaving a child in school where he/she will be scared to walk down the halls, or get teased every day, would impair their social development 1000 times more than being in a loving and more productive learning environment at home.

mom2my2cuties replied: I am going to piggyback on what Amanda said.

I was tormented and teased in high school. And it would have been better for me not to be in that place and be able to excell over having to be fearful each day that I was going to be tormented.

ashtonsmama replied:
AMEN.

I was pulled out and homeshooled for a semester when I was in treatment for an eating disorder, and although school was actually the lesser of the two evils (I had abusive parents/step-parents) it worked fine for me.

holley79 replied: Thanks for sharing. I had seriously considered home schooling Annika but because I have to work I don't think it's possible. My SIL just started home schooling her daughter now they are back in the states and all seems to be giong well thus far.

Boo&BugsMom replied: I tried to delete this post, but don't know how...I made an error...oops

Boo&BugsMom replied:
THANK YOU!!! As a preschool teacher of 7 years I see this ALL THE TIME!!! Regardless if someone is homeschooled or in "school" parents still need to do their job and be a parent for crying out loud. Thank you!!!

I'm not sure if homeschooling would ever be an option for us or not, but I must say I have many positive thoughts about it and it's nice to be able to have that option if it were to ever arise, wheras in other country's (Germany) it is not even legal, which is sad.