How a i going to get Myself out of this??

mummy2girls wrote: Jenna asked for a ipad for christas. We are going to get her one and My MoM is going halfers with us. We told her if we get her this she wont get anything else frM us.... She says thats ok MoMMY santa will get e things... UGH!!! Santa cant afford anything else after we spend 500 on this ipad....

MommyToAshley replied: We have an iPad and Ashely uses it, but we are very careful that she only uses it under our supervision. It is fragile and if dropped, you are out $500. I would not buy Ashley her own iPad even at her age, but this is just my own opinion. If it were me, I'd wait on the iPad until she got older, unless you make it a family gift.

amymom replied: I agree with Dee Dee about making the ipad a family gift instead of one person gift.

However, to answer the question, we explained to our kids that Santa only buys what Mom & Dad can give the money for and what Mom & Dad tell him is ok for our family to have. Otherwise we were unable to explain how their cousins got over $3000 worth of gifts and they did not. Or how some families would get nothing if we did not contribute to the Angel Trees. So we came up with a budget and Santa and Mom/Dad were allowed only so much. Now we don't have that concern. Good Luck with this, Shelly.

coasterqueen replied: Yikes! That is a predicament (sp?) you are in. Will Santa buy me one too? I want one but Ryan said they are a waste of money since we both have iPhones AND we have many many computers in the house, lol. The girls both have their own computers to use and a mini computer for movies. If they knew it existed, though, they'd want one too.

mummy2girls replied:
She will be only using it under our supervision as well, and On the bus ( she goes on the city bus with Marcus every day) on the way to school and back.And then when at school she gives it to arcus and he brings it to his work... she will not be able to bring it up to her rooM alone etc...

lovemy2 replied: Way too young for an ipad if you ask me - maybe an ipod touch to start with? Have you used one of those things?

stella6979 replied:
I agree. There is no way I would get something that expensive for someone so young, especially something that could break so easily. Heck, I'd have a hard time parting with that much money on something for myself.

bluebear replied: I wouldn't. You can't even play flash based games on them.

mummy2girls replied:
yes i have

mummy2girls replied: ok i know you have your oppinions and i knew i would get it posting this. And thank you for the oppinions BUT that being said i didnt ask if she was too young i asked how i aM going to get out of this predicaent on santa... And suggestions on that would be wonderful, if not then just leave it at that:)

mummy2girls replied:
She plays with My iphone all the tie so i know she would get soething out of the i pad. And we can download eductaions apps on there for her. And it wont get broken because teh rules behind it is... she uses in our supervision. never alone and when she is done we put it away. She is very good at listening to rules when we give the so i know she wont steal it and play on her own. Because if she does then no warnings no second chances, its gone...

amymom replied: Shelly, One thing we did and still do to put more under the tree is to wrap up items we would buy anyway. The kids always get food items under the tree, Lots of them, cookies, cereal, candy... items we would buy anyway, but these are theirs. One of the first things they open is something they can snack on while unwrapping other gifts. Like granola bars or cereal. I even one year had Santa put some things in the freezer. These items are always a treat for my kids. And they don't break the budget.

I still stand by explaining to the kids that Santa has a budget based on family circumstances. Otherwise, I found it impossible to explain the disparity in what Santa brings one family and what he brings another. I am also not big on buying big items for Christmas, we make big purchases together as a family, which it sounds like you are doing, since Jenna is aware that this is being purchased.

Again, Good Luck Shelly, it is never easy, but it is not the things that they remember, it is the love that is behind it. And I know there is lots of love for your kids!!

luvbug00 replied: I have 2 words for you my friend..Dollar store! lol!
I'm not going to state my opinion because it doesn't matter, not my money.
The pad looks like it would be great for the trips and such. I'm guessing marcus or you would hold it between uses. Let's face it, the thing is awesome, awesomely intense and honestly your gonna use it more then she does. At that age, electronic devices only hold attention for so long. Even mya gets frustrated with her Itouch after an hour.
anyhoo back to my dollar store idea. I say just grab a couple stocking stuffer there and your done!

mummy2girls replied:
Yes she uses it when we are in the saMe rooM as her, and on the bus trips into school and back. She goes on the city bus with Marcus everyday. And then he takes it froM her and it stays with hiM. When we go on our vacation in august she will use it on the plane. And long car rides. There are rules attached to the ipad and we sat her down and explained it to her. She is not to bring it to her rooM:) And yes ill use it when she isnt i sure...LOL

MommyToAshley replied:
and then you get upset when no one replies to your posts...you can't have it both ways or expect people only to reply and say what you want to hear.

luvbug00 replied: you know how people say that they wouldn't be harsh if they didnt care. It's true, we dont want to believe that is love but it is.

Shelly you have always been a liked member and we like hearing about your children and were thrilled when you got married.

I think the concern here is much what my mother had with me. I used to get mya big ticket items and do other things with her. My mom would ask me " what did she do to earn that? what does she have to look forward to getting? when she is 16 and already has her hair dyed, piercings and tattoos then how can she express herself? rebel? when you have already done it all for her, there is nothing for her to achieve and nothing to earn"
Now my mother is as strict as the German stereotypical mother. But the crazy lady had a point. had i only listened. Now my kid wants a huge sweet 16 and car for free when she grows up.
Harsh as she was she did it out of caring. Anytime anyone on here expresses a harsh opinion it is out of caring. we hope you take it that way and not as an attack.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: I'm confused. You guys have one that she already uses, and she's asking for her own?

I'd tell her Santa isn't rich.

stella6979 replied:

luvbug00 replied: Vay, I think she is referring to once she gets her one. I don't think they have one already.

youngmomofone replied: Easy - don't get her one. Let me ask this, what is your reasoning why you would want your young child to have one?

As far as the Santa thing goes I can't help. My daughter does believe in Santa, but dh, me, and my parents all agree that the only technology things she will be getting is leapfrog/vtech. She is getting the reader this year and that's as far as we will go with that. We will wait until she is around 12 to start letting her get more expensive things. At that point she won't believe in Santa any more.

mummy2girls replied:
Dee Dee I did not ask for the oppinions of is it too expensive of a gift. I asked how I can get Myself out of the predicaent about santa. I just felt I was being looked down because I wanted to get jenna this gift. She deserves this gift... She has been through alot and has coMe on top of her class now and is above her grade level and classMates. straight a student and such... I just wanted ideas on how to tell Jenna about santa or get out of it.

I actually bothered by the fact i get no responses or barely any with alot of stuff i post on here about Jenna, Me or things that are happening in My life. I feel hurt to be honest because I caMe to this foruM when she was 4 Months old and I always got a support froM everyone. I feel as if i have been pushed down the list and no one cares. Thats how i feel. And then I also get the other extreMe of getting juMped on and alot of critisisM. Its hard to feel as if i aM not a part of a faMily i use to...

mummy2girls replied:
ouch

mummy2girls replied:
I have an iphone...she wants a ipad

mummy2girls replied:
Jenna since age 4 was diagnosed with severe speech, severe gross delays and fine Motor delays. Occupational issues, asthaMa etc etc etc. She was put in a ABC headstart progra and was there for 3 years. bottoM of her class behind alMost 2 years in her age developent. She cae out of the prograM and we Mainstreaed her.... She is on top of her class, straight A student, Abover her grade level and age developent, speech delays GONE, Motor delays GONE! She deserves this. My o is going halfers so we are not cashing out the whole aMount.

mummy2girls replied:
We have not given her a gift like this ever. She earns her Money, we dont give her things like this All the tiMe, she knows she has to earn things. we are not going to let her get this, get that, because she wants it. She has earned this!

and yes i know i was liked but i dont feel it anyore. Sorry but its how i feel

luvbug00 replied: trust me when i say that you are liked.

I never said you give her things all the time.

your missing the point.
the point is a gift like this is really huge. Where do you go from there with gift giving? it's like getting a house before ever learning how to pay rent on an apartment.
In this case skipping the 200 touch and going all in for the pad.
That's great she does her own chores or whatever to get $ it's awesome and mature of her.
however maybe she can save it for the Ipad of her time when she is older. (i'm sure they will be ten times better and she will feel more accomplished knowing she paid for it with her hard earned money)
your already taking her to disney world, that alone is gonna be an awesome trip and memories. She has made great strides and this trip is a wonderful reward for taht.


i dunno.
I wouldn't even get this for mya at 16 or 18, She would have to buy it.

bluebear replied:
huh??

I would wait for the ipad because they're releasing a new one come May with more support, and a webcam.

bluebear replied:
I like where you're going with this.

MommyToAshley replied:
I did not criticize you for your choice to get it for Jenna, but I was giving you an honest opinion from someone that has an iPad.... we have two actually. And, I was just letting you know that they are very fragile and I would not even buy one for Ashley at her age (8) and she is used to being around tech devices and caring for them, but it is still a very fragile and expensive device. She is allowed to use it if my DH is sitting right beside her. And, yes we have them in protective cases. So, I was not criticizing your choice, I was just giving an honest opinion based on personal experience from someone that has one.

To be honest, you are the one that came across as attacking others by saying that you didn't ask for opinions as to whether or not you should get the device. So, if your responses have gone down on here, you may want to look at how you react to others when you don't hear what you want to hear. No one was attacking you or saying anything negative about your choice, just their opinion... you can take it or leave it. I said something similar in Karen's thread about Megan and the iTouch. I just gave my opinion and Karen can disagree as she knows her child better than I do, but she didn't take it as and attack and get snippy by saying she wasn't asking that. I did not mean to question yours or Karen's decision (and I am sorry if anyone took it that way), and I am sure no one else did either. But, as someone that has these devices and struggled with same decisions myself, I thought it would be HELPFUL (not critical) to offer a suggestion/opinion. But, with the response I got, I will be hesitant to offer an opinion in the future.

MommyToAshley replied:


I can see your point, and sometimes I think I am guilty of going overboard. I had a very humble upbringing as well. We didnt' have a ton of money and when my parents bought me something, I treasured it and valued it. What I valued even more was something that I bought with my own money. Sometimes I think that we spoil Ashley too much, even though she has to buy most things with the money she earns other than birthday and holiday gifts. I never had as many toys and electronics that she does at her age. What did we do before the DSi and Xbox came along...LOL.

mummy2girls replied:
yes Dee Dee but i was asking what i should say to her about santa.. not if i should get it and 95 percent of the people were telling Me that and not answering or helping with My predicaent. But no worries.

I feel as if this place is not the saMe as it was. I LOVED coMing here and enjoyed every Minute but now i feel that if i say soMething this will happen. I dont like that!

And going in a different route here. Jennas dad is not doing good, his health is getting worse and his kidneys are failing.... he had ore tests done and the doc is telling hiM that its not good.... So i guess i aM just uptight and My anxiety is just up there and i aM snapping. I have to coMe to terMs that within 4 years I aM going to have to sit My little girl down and tell her daddy died.... My friend of 10 years is pretty Much dieing and I cant do anything about it! He wont let Me donate a kidney if IM a Match. he feels that he doesnt want Me to put My life at risk as I have 2 girls and a husband. I guess i AM just at a place right now that when soMeone says soething i look at it the wrong way, i hear it the wrong way and i speak it the wrong way! I know thats not an excuse but....

MommyToAshley replied:
I am sorry, I didn't know about her dad. I hope they find a treatment or kidney for him. I can understand being stressed, and we all make mistakes and say things we don't mean sometimes... but just like family, we fight and make-up. But, it's a give and take thing, and just like family, and you may not always hear what you want to hear, but that doesn't mean no one cares.

coasterqueen replied:
Hun, honestly if you wanna get her an iPad, do so. You don't need to listen to anyone else but yourself. Heck you should hear all the things said to me when Kylie got a 4-wheeler. (not here, but IRL). I could give a crap less what others think about what I buy her.

I only said what I did above because DARN IT! I want one.

Honestly I see it no different then the mini laptop DH bought for our girls. They use it all the time, but under the supervision of adults. The mainly use it to watch movies, but they get on there from time to time to the internet. I don't even remember what it cost, but I know it wasn't cheap. We bought it for them when their mini dvd player quit. They even take the thing in their playroom and use it when they play school.

I just honestly don't know how to tell you to get out of this predicament, except to tell her economy is bad so santa isn't buying as much...which is what I'm telling my girls. They'll still expect more no matter what I say and even years when they did get more, they still expected more. It's in a kids nature, so says my husband. So you can't win. Just know inside that you are giving her a lot and that's enough. Right?

coasterqueen replied:
Didn't bother me any.

coasterqueen replied: Oh and this isn't directed really to anyone, but I did want to say this. As far as these things getting broken, you know what we can say kids won't break it or don't get a kid one because they'll break it, but my husband and I have broke more things we never thought we would -- moreso than the kids. Our iphones have been broken 3 times. Ryan dropped his in a parking lot trying to get it out of his pocket. Mine was in my purse, I bent over to hand toilet paper to Kylie at the riding stables and mine slipped out of my purse onto the concrete floor and shattered. I don't even remember how the other one broke. So seriously, we ALL can break them. My husband is more of a clutz than anyone I know, so I'm used to things getting broken. Everything we've own has been broken at least once - and I'm not joking!

So yes kids can break them, but so can I.

A&A'smommy replied: Well honestly I don't see anything wrong with buying her an ipad, we have one and both of our kids play with it. Under surprivision. They do make otterboxes for them which I HIGHLY reccomend!! Also they are using them a LOT in schools, in fact Jeremiah just went to an educational technology conference and learned LOTS of way to use them in schools. So it could be REALLY good for her!!

ZandersMama replied: ITA with going to the dollar store, and also getting things she would be getting anyway. Things like bath stuff all wrapped individually, hair stuff from the dollar store, clothes.

I would love to be able to get an ipad for the boys, they have so many apps for autistic kids. They are using my ipod all the time now. In a few more years though because they just don't take care of things yet.

amymom replied: Shelly,
I told you two things i do what do you think of either of them? How would Jenna feel about them. It really worked with my kids, when we told them that we gave Santa the money for what he bought and that is why they didn't get as much as cousins, and why we needed to help the kids on the angel tree etc. Also, the shampoos, toothpaste, etc are all under the tree not in stockings. It all works well for us.

Good Luck with it.

mom21kid2dogs replied:
I thought your response was spot on Anne Marie. We had to navigate those water with . . . .of all things . . . . .the tooth fairy. My brother pays $10 a tooth.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Oh I see, my mistake. I didn't realize she was using an iphone, not an ipad. i get so confused with all this i-stuff.

I'd tell her that if Santa spends money on this, he won't be able to spend money on other things for her, so she can choose some things that she'd like, but that she can't have eveything she watns if she gets the ipad.

msoulz replied:
That sounds good to me too. Santa has a LOT of kids to take care of so he has to have a budget too!

jcc64 replied: A little late to the "party" as usual, but imo, ipads in general are kind of unnecessary. Dh, a geekie techie who is addicted to all things Apple, bought one, but mainly b/c he does an insane amount of reading on his iphone, and at 45, thinks the larger screen is easier on the eyes. Other than for that, I don't see why an ipod touch wouldn't suffice in Jenna's case. It's more portable, cheaper, and less fragile.
Regarding the hurt feelings stuff, I'd have to agree with Dee Dee. If you make a post, you can never be sure what direction it will take, and having been on this board as long as most of us have, we all know this and should accept it as the price of doing business online. We all care for you, Shelly, and the lack of traffic on here lately probably has much more to do with the fact that people don't always respond to your posts than anything truly personal. I'm sorry you're having some problems in your life, and I hope that things get better for you and your family.

holley79 replied: I would just tell her Santa has a budget just like any family. He has a lot of children he has to buy for and therefore if he purchases her a "BIG" gift then this is all she gets. Maybe if you had started your post with, "Jenna wants a big gift for Christmas and when I told her that would be all she was getting then she said XYZ" maybe then you wouldn't have opened yourself up to the opinion of the iPad.

I know you don't want opinions but please hear me out, don't base her Christmas present buying on "hardships" in life. If she is keeping straight A's go get her an ice cream. If her father is having medical issues take her to the park just the two of you and start preparing her now. I did not have an easy childhood as has many of us here but my mom never "substituted" if that makes sense. If you can personally afford to purchase your child an iPad then by all means have at it.