How do you handle invites for one but - not the others?

luvmykids wrote: I know this is common and I've explained that as they grow up they are going to have different friends than the other, etc but Colt got invited to a bday party (for Macie's namesake, Walker ... glad to finally know where that comes from!) and Kylie isn't. They play together at the Moms Day Out so Kylie doesn't really seem to understand that they aren't both invited since she thinks she and Walker are friends too. And Macie is pretty upset too.

I know now that I shouldn't have blurted it out but at the same time, it is a fact of life so how do you teach them to deal with it?

MamaJAM replied: Since Kylie feel that this is her friend too and is upset -- maybe you could plan an event for you and her to do while the party is going on. I know it's hard when one is invited but not others -- but, it's simply a fact of life....the smaller a deal you make of it - the easier it will be on everyone.



Oops...typed the wrong name.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: Is it an Only Boys party? If it is then I would just try and explain that to Kylie if not I don't know how I would handle it. I probably decline. I understand that they have different friends but if Kylie is excluded for reasons unknown I would be upset especially since they play together too. I think standing up for family is a way more important lesson than having different groups of friends!

gr33n3y3z replied: what I would do was this
I did something special with the ones that were not invited
Good luck

jem0622 replied: I have a problem with the fact that they both play with this person and only one got the invite. Is it due to age? This one is closer in age to one of your kiddos?

I explain that it is a party for x's friends and that they will have their turn too. It is not easy. Not one bit!

If it is possible for you to drop your invited child off at the party then maybe you can do something special with the one who is not invited?

luvmykids replied:
I haven't called yet, they left a note for me when I picked the kids up. But good question, that would make it a little easier! And him and Colt (it turns out) are constant playmates, where Kylie knows him more by association, kwim? I had to find all this out from the teachers, I hadn't heard Colt mention him and all this time that Macie has called herself Walker and I ask where she got that Colt always just said "Oh, he's a cowboy"

I totally understand the parents being able to invite one other kid instead of 2 or 3 and since Colt is his buddy it makes sense, I just hate the thought of any of them feeling left out.

ashtonsmama replied: That's a hard one...and it will come up alot more I'm sure, it's just a fact of life. But not much advice here, I'd just say to do what Judy said and plan a special outing or thing to do while the party is going on, and just try not to talk about it too much, and tell Colt to try to keep his excitement down a little since the girls weren't invited...KWIM?

Good luck Monica!

ilovemybaby replied: I am not much help... I am going to be inviting my cousin Alisha to Abbys 2nd Birthday but not her brothers. I can't handle them. They are very naughty and run wild. Can I say... no discipline? Anyway, it's a 2 year olds birthday and Alisha is 2 in June. So I am inviting her. But her brothers are like 4, 8 and 10.
And Abby was invited to a 5 year olds birthday party not long ago and it was just too much for her. So I don't really want older kids at Abbys party that are going to run around and possibly break her new toys or knock her over KWIM?

I hope you find a way to explain it so they understand. It must be hard though.

Nina J replied:

holley79 replied:
ITA

My brother and sister use to get so mad I would get invited somewhere but they wouldn't. Mom would make it a point to explain things to them but also try and plan a little something like, Ha Ha big sisters gone and we get to do something.

C&K*s Mommie replied: Totally off the subject of this post, but where did the name Walker come from?? Did you finally figure it out?

luvmykids replied:
Apparantly this boy who is having the birthday party is named Walker. But I didn't know that, because Colt knows him from Mothers Day Out and my kids aren't there very often. In the past I've asked "Who is this Walker?" and all they say is that he's a cowboy. Turns out he's Colts buddy and they stick to each other like glue. Walkers parents left a note saying that Walker really loves Colt and says he's his best friend and wants him to come to his party.

C&K*s Mommie replied: how sweet!!

I agree with taking the girls off to do something special, while Colt enjoys his time at the party. Having a 'girls only day out'.