How long have you been together?

kimberley wrote: and what is your secret to the success of your relationship?

kimberley replied: Jamie and I have been together for almost 3 years, married for just over 2 years.
i think my idea of what keeps things going is a truck load of patience and understanding, acceptance, and honesty. communication and loyalty are right up there too!

~Roo'sMama~ replied: Well Scott and I have only been married 2 years (almost) and I still think of us as sort of newlyweds.
I agree with Kimberly's list of things that make a relationship work ~ that and the advice Jennifer (3littleladies) and her hubby gave us: never say the "D" word (divorce) even jokingly.
Also I'm not willing to stay mad very long about anything, so we get our problems resolved pretty quickly most of the time instead of letting them get worse.

MomToMany replied: Shane & I have been together for 4 years now, married for about 2 1/2 years. Kimberley hit the nail right on the head with what keeps us going. I wish I met him a long time ago, and that he was the boys' father instead of my X.

5littleladies replied: Jason and I have been married for 8 years and we've been together for 10.

I think there are so many things that make our marriage strong, some that I may not even be aware of. I'd say that Kimberly listed almost everything that I would have listed. A few more things I would add-Like Sara said, we don't use the word divorce-not even jokingly-for us it just isn't an option. I also think there are many times when we could not have gotten far without a sense of humor. But the most important thing about our relationship is that we-as a couple and as individuals-put God first above everything else-I think because of that we have gotten though things that otherwise may have broken us.

And of course it helps that we just plain love each other very, very much.

jcc64 replied: Dh and I are high school sweethearts- we've been a couple 24 years (gasp), and married 14 years. God, who the heck knows what the secret to any marriage is. I think it's important to always bring something into the marriage that the other person wants, needs, isn't as good at. For instance, dh is very shy, quiet, and socially remote by nature. I'm outgoing, social, and communicative. We balance each other out. Y'know, the whole yin yang thing, I really believe in that. I think you need to be intellectual equals, and while I know of marriages with differing social/political consciousnesses, I personally couldn't be married to someone that isn't on the same page as me.
And last but not least, always let him have the remote.

MomToJade&Jordan replied: My DH and I will be married 4 years in May. Everyone has had pretty good pointers so far as to how to make it work. I think you also need to know when to fight your battles and when to just walk away and let things cool down. It hasn't been all rosey and we have had our moments so when the tension gets high we both know that we need to calm down before we discuss anything.

TANNER'S MOM replied: My Dh and I have been married for 7 yrs and been together for 8 1/2. The secret to marriage is never giving up. That man has drove me crazy. And I have him too. I have made some really stupid mistakes, and I have been wrong many times. Don't be afraid to admit when you are wrong, and always say you are sorry. Sometimes, I know I am RIGHT, but right for me isn't right for everyone. He is right for himself too.

Don't sweat the small stuff. Who cares if the laundry is done, or the dishes. If DH asks me to sit down beside him and talk for awhile, I do. That can all wait but he can't.


I have been married before and so has he. But for me this time is "different". I feel a level of love and devotion I have never felt before. I do feel he is my soul mate.

I still get chills, and my breath still gets caught in my throat when he catches the corner of my eye, and he winks.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: We have been together for nine years. We have been married for 7. I agree with what everyone else has said. Scotty and I just work so well together. We put God first, we put each other before the children and even though we have been through a lot we have allowed our experiences to bring us closer. He is my best friend and I couldnt' imagine relying on anyone other than him for support (initially.) I like what Jeanne said about balancing each other out. That is so true of our relationship. He compliments me very well and we agree on pretty much everything. Of course every couple has their moments and we have had our share of these 'moments.' It is easier now to look at a situation and decide what is important to argue about and when we just need to let go and walk away. Apologies come easier over the years and I think father time can teach you more than any advice you would get from a book. Scotty and I have really bonded and our love just grows everyday. I never imagined I could love him this much....imagine what the next 30+ years will look like.

All of this aside from the honesty, loyalty, trust, patience, love and communication.

coasterqueen replied: I voted 10 to 14 because this August 2005 will be 13 years that we have been a couple. We will actually only be married 8 years this May 2005, though.

Sometimes I wonder what keeps us going. We just couldn't imagine life without each other no matter how rough times get there's always something great that balances it out....sometimes it just takes us a bit of time to find it .

ediep replied: we have been married for 5 years but we have been together for 11 years.

Patience, understanding, honesty

mammag replied: We've been together for 14years (Since I was 16) and married for 10. The best 14 years of my life!!!

loveydad replied: I've known her all her life. We've been married 1 day.

We don't go to bed mad, but we don't scream at each other till the fight is over. I noticed when I was fighting most is when I was fighting for survival because of "you" statements "You started this whole mess!" "Yeah, well YOU are the one who lied to me..." You isn't a good word. I've learned to say "I'm upset about the way this started too, but I don't think it's either of our faults..." and stuff. Now that doesn't always work...

A&A'smommy replied:
that is EXACTLY what dh and I decided on before we got married

we have been together for two years and four months and married for almost two years.

Mommy2BAK replied: John and I have been together since I was 15. so five years, but we have only been married for on year.

momof2girls replied: 13 years for us, and I have known him since I was 16 we were friends got together much later.
We were friends first so I think for us, that makes it easier.
Laughing, respect and trust are keys.

Boys r us replied: We've been together for going on 6 years, but only married 1.5 years. Huh...I don't think I have a recipe for success..not going well right now..

Kirstenmumof3 replied: DH and I have been married for 10 years, but we've been together for almost 13 years. I think we've stayed together for so long because we are committed to one another and the vows we took. We've had our rough times, but we've always been here for each other. My husband is my rock, I don't know what I would do without him.

3xsthefun replied: We have been married for 5 1/2 years and together for 7 years.

I think what keeps us together is understanding, patience for one another, we are getting better on the communication part (mostly me I've been needing work on it), wanting be together forever! Helping out each other when the other is down.

FroggyJK replied: We have been together for 9 years, married 7 years this April.

Communication, Compromise, Patience

mammag replied: I forgot to put the secret to our success. He is everything to me but most of all he is my best friend. I really like him, who he is, what he believes in. I think you have to LIKE each other as well as being in love or it will never work.

akbutterfly83 replied: I voted newlyweds... we have been togethere alittle over a year... and we will be married for 1 year in April.....

I don't know about all of you... but I don't think I have been together with him long enought to give advice...

But we don't fight, and the D word is not an option.... and wasn't going to be..... that's just how both our familys work..... and how we were raise....

He was married once before he met me... but it was really short.... less then a year...
I don't know much about it, so i keep to myself about it......

but we don't fight all that much, but he does change his mind a llot, du to him being ADD....

But I hink comunication, loyalty, friendship, commitment, and love are all part of ut... everyone has said the rest.....

Josie83 replied: We've been together for eight years an dmarried for a couple of months. We're high school sweethearts too! I don't really know the secret of our success, but I know that I can't imagine my life without him and have never wanted anyone else. We never go to bed on an argument, we have the same sense of humour and basic attitudes and principles, and we have a fantastic sex life! I don't know the sercet, but something just works! xx

texasp3 replied: We've been together nine years and married for five. Why does it work? No one else would put up with us and we know it??

Seriously, we have in common certain important traits that we've never found in another person. Our families are quirky in the same way so we understand each other in unique ways. There was, as he put it, a cosmic click when we met. Not "love at first sight" necessarily... something much less scary... just a solid right-ness.

This is my second marriage, his first. We were almost 30 when we met, and I had a six year old kid. We were both in graduate school and lived 4 hours apart. We didn't have the time or energy to mess around in a relationship that wasn't for keeps, and we couldn't risk my son's heart in something that was just a game. For us it's always been for real, and for keeps.

Now, of course, we often laugh that we're just too dang old to go back out on our own, so we're stuck with each other out of laziness. We laugh about a lot of things. We never, ever lie to each other. We say "I love you." a lot.

He makes me angry on a regular basis, but he also understands me when no one else ever has. He says I don't wilt under the force of his personality, and I make him laugh. And of course, last year, I gave him Gabriel when, at the tender age of 37, he changed his mind about babies! (We're the same age, btw.)

momof3angels replied: John and I are approaching our 10th anniversary of dating, almost 9 years married. It works for us because we are friends first. We respect each other. We also allow each other to be individuals. I have my friends and he has his. We also allow each other to take separate vacations on occassion. I think time apart is why we are able to stay together lol. I let him have his boy weekends and he lets me travel with my girlfriend. Time apart lets us decompress from the stress of marriage and family, and then when we are together we are happier.

dreamweaver82 replied: I met Michael in high school once or twice. Two years after i graduated i met Michael on a dating site and we've been together ever since. It's been over a year and will be 2 in may. We plan to get married sometime next month.

My2Beauties replied: Brian and I have been together nearly 3 years and we laugh a whole lot!!! I think that is key, Brian keeps me rolling, he has a sense of humor about everything (sometimes this can get old) but for the most part I love him for it. We also show each other a lot of affection and say I love you a whole lot!

We argue sometimes but for the most part we alwyas say I am sorry or he says give me a kiss baby! I know he means I'm sorry when he says that Brian is really hard-headed and so am I, so it makes for some pretty brutal battles sometimes (we're both Libras)....

Also I have never felt the way I feel for another man in my entire life! Something about him just gives me the chills. When I think of him throughout the day I smile, when I see him at home I smile (until he pisses me off) and I just genuinely love the guy! I never felt htis way about anyone else (even the guy I dated for 7 years before him, I thought I loved him but it was like puppy love I think now that I am with Brian)!!! It just feels right and I feel like I could be with him when I am old and gray and wrinkly!

amymom replied: We will be married 20 years this May. We met the May before we got married.

We do not have any secret just a strong committment to the vows we took and to keeping our family together. We believe family is very important.

Kaitlin'smom replied: We have been a couple for 13 years this may and married 10 years this past october

what keeps us together? communication, trust, understanding and of course a deep love for one an other. We also dont joke about divorce, we dont ever want to go there, I told him I will only marry once and its for life, he agreed. Now that we have a daughter its even more important to us to keep our family together.

Lollie replied: Hi....

Devlin and I have been together for about 4 years and we will be married for 1 year in April.

We met each other while we were studying at the same University.I cant say what keeps us together but I just know that we are so in love with each other! We get along so well and we are both funny so we keep each other smiling and laughing.He's just amazing! I couldnt think of a better hubby for myself or daddy to my babies!!And we both love our sex life...we are both full of ideas and very creative so that spices things up on that side of our life.

I LOVE MY HUBBY!!!!

mommy2owen replied: Ben and I have been together for 4 years, married for 3.

gr33n3y3z replied: Redchief and I have been married for 21 years woohoo!!
I guess what makes a good relationship is talking and not giving up when you hit a bump in the road.

devinsmommy replied: [COLOR=orange][FONT=Geneva] I have been with my hubby for 4 years... married 3, we have been together cause we made the vow not to be like our parents and walk away.... and we have we talk when we need to, he hugs me when I cry, and boy has he been my rock. I couldn't be half of who I am with out him... Ever since we have met he has encouraged me to be me.

See I was raised in am abusive home so it was hard just to be free, and now I am, but with a partner.

kim62377 replied: Keith and I will be married for 2 years on October 18th, 2005. We have known eachother for 15 years (the best of friends) and just recently figured out we were soulmates. We believe what has made our marriage/relationship so strong is of course trust - and communication. We can tell eachother anything. We are best friends, we laugh together, cry together, get mad together. We are one person. I would not be the same Kimmy without my Keith.

moped replied: Tom and I will be married 2 years June 21/05..................the secret to a relationship - not sure, but when someone does could they please tell me - LOL. We have a pretty good relationship 90% of the time and we love each other dearly.....................Like Ivy said, I have;t been married long enough to know!

littlemama replied: Im not married now. Dave and I have been together for about two years. I have three kids, he has two, older than mine. 9 and 12 yrs. They live with their mother. The secret to a relationship, oh gosh let me know please, lol We have it really rough at times. Argue most of everyday...hey thats why I looked for a moms board To relieve some stress, relate. The stress of my three does put a good number on it. Twins are two, Bre is five...then his with us on weekends.


I was married for almost three years before I met current hubby. Together for six. we seperated when twins were 5 1/2 months. My choice then, I wasnt happy with how things were going, no comunication, married too young I feel (just turned 21) To this day still looking for that divorce he just hasnt passed on any papers yet, lol

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: My DH are going on four years marriage this October, but we've known each other for about 12 years. The secret for our success I suppose is just to always be on our toes about our relationship. To not get too relaxed or take anything for granted. Some people think that things just fall into place once you're married, but we both know they don't. So we make every day special if we can. Which means just a snuggle or checking in with one another at all times. He buys me flowers a lot and I bake him cookies. It's those small things. Plus, we always kiss goodbye and hello. No matter what! I think it's a good example for my DS.

ian'smommy replied:
We will be married f or 6 years in August... We have had plenty of good times and also some rough times that we made it through.... We are going through rough times now in fact. Divorce was never an option for us, but I was so tempted to leave in the last several weeks. I put that temptation aside and we are working on it.... There have been some improvements and some things that we are still struggling with...
If you need to talk about your struggles I will listen...