How much would you fork out?

CantWait wrote: I'm suppose to be in a wedding in August (actually the MOH) for a good friend I meant while overseas, but it's getting pricey and I'm not sure I really want to spend so much to go over.

$2500 for flight
$600 minimum for hotel, that's for four days no taxes.
Dress and shoes which she seems to be going with already before I've said anything to on whether I'm can actually do this.
Car rental
plus food

The amount I'd be spending for JUST ME to go to this wedding, my WHOLE family just spent on a trip to Poland. I kind of feel like if I go than I'm taking a vacation away from my kids.

She's not my best best friend, in fact I'm kinda starting to resent her. She's so self consumed with her life since she's met this guy overseas, that she doesn't hear or acknowledge anything else that's going on around her. I told her about both m/c and she hasn't said anything to me about either, not so much as a sorry to hear .

When do you say NO it's too much?

mckayleesmom replied: Um..that sounds like it is getting awfully expensive. Personally I think I would have nixed it at $2000 dollars..that is alot of money.


As far as this maybe taking a vacation away from your kids...I wouldn't guilt yourself over that. You are an awesome mom and your kids have already seen more then most people would see in a lifetime.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: Yikes! That is a ton of $$$! I would say if she is not a really close friend I would back out! I would just keep thinking about how much I had spent to get there and probably have a miserable time wishing I had spent it doing something with my family anyway!

gr33n3y3z replied: 2000.00 for the flight alone is to much I would not even do it
No friend would expect you to spend that kind of money on their wedding if they do they are so self centered and then you don't need them to be your friend lol

moped replied: I wouldn't be forking out anywhere near that much........doesn't sound like you want to do it anyways.....right?

DVFlyer replied: It all depends on how wealthy you are. Rich people spend more than that on lawn maintenance for their mansions.

If it was me?? I would not spend that much.

cameragirl21 replied: Well, I think that is a lot of money and my first thought was, "no way!" but then I realized that nowadays, destination weddings are quite common where the whole bridal party and guests fly out to Hawaii or Orlando or Key West or the Bahamas, etc and I imagine that gets pricey for everyone but it's like a big vacation for all involved.
I deal with brides all the time and they are ALL self consumed, just planning a wedding these days will lead people to tune the rest of life out BUT I think not acknowledging the m/c or any loss of a friend close enough to be your MOH is unforgivable and honestly, that would seal the deal for me.
If it weren't for that, my question to you would be--do you want to go? If you want to go and have the bucks then taking a few days or so away from your family won't be the end of the world...but only if you want to go.
I personally would tell her how you feel about not acknolwedging your loss, etc, and tell her that this is too expensive for you and your family right now and see how apologetic she is about not being a good friend and also if she offers to pitch in to cover some of the cost.
Very often, tragedies help to determine who our true friends really are. Would I spend that much for a good friend? Absolutely! Would I spend that much on a "friend" who really isn't? Well, it wouldn't even be about the money...I wouldn't want to be MOH for free for someone whom I don't consider a friend. I've photographed enough weddings to have them down to a simple science and have to say that no matter how many I go to, it is still a very powerful day and the bridal party should only consist of the closest of friends to share that day.
So to me, it's not about money, it's a question of if you want to share that moment with her and if I were you, I wouldn't.
edited for a typo

coasterqueen replied:
I agree! WOw, that's a lot just for the plane ticket and for one person! We are going on a cruise late summer with 2 other families and we could all get plane tickets for that price. I'd say it's WAY too much money - even for a really good friend of mine, I'd be that cheap.

My2Beauties replied: I wouldn't even consider it with that type of money involved even if I had it to spend, not even on a close friend I'd say I love you but I'm sorry I'm not spending that much money! But that's just me.

stella6979 replied:

BAC'sMom replied: That's way more than I would spend. JMO of course

Kaitlin'smom replied: I agree I would not spend that much. the flight alone would be the deal breaker. your talking about spending around 4-5 grand for a wedding that you dont even really want to go to.

DillsMommy replied: If it were me, I'd feel bad, but I'd probably have to back out. It just seems like a ton of money. If she's a good friend, then she should understand. If she isn't really a close friend, then I wouldn't spend that much to be in her wedding anyway. Good luck!

luvmykids replied:
ITA. My own wedding was barely over 5K!

My3LilMonkeys replied: The flight alone is WAY more than enough for me to say sorry - can't do it.

wcs40110 replied: Yea. Wouldn't be able to do that. My friends don't want to pay 100 for their dresses let alone all that.

wcs40110 replied: and I think I am only spending like 3k on my wedding and my mom says I am over doing it to show up my friends.

CantWait replied: You guys are right and I knew it long ago. I emailed her last night, still waiting on a response, will let you know how it goes. Should be interesting. Now that it's said and done, I don't feel bad about it.

Thanks

Crystalina replied: Nope. I wouldn't even entertain the thought (unless it was my sister and then I'd still have to think real hard).

My sister just recently dished out a TON of $$$ to attend her best friends wedding, not to mention all the extra stuff she "had to do" since she was MOH. Well...needless to say less then a year later they are divorced and my sister is still left paying off all the expenses she had to endure for this wedding. The girl is already with another guy (she was cheating on her dh with this guy) and is now engaged to him.

CantWait replied:
NICE

Needless to say I guess her friend won't be making that mistake twice.

CantWait replied: Well she wrote back and seemed very understanding, told me about some stuff going on with her, but as I was expecting still didn't mention the m/c Yup I think I'm glad I'm not going.

Mommy2Isabella replied: I am glad you found a decision that worked best for you.

I think that the fact that she hasn't mentioned a THING about your M/C's is horrible. Self consumed or not as someone who is supposedly close enough to be a MOH you should unconsume yourself long enough to ask how they are doing. JMHO!!

Save that money and go on another Vaca with your family, you will have more fun I am sure!!

MommyToAshley replied: Sounds like you made the right call. I bet it feels like a huge relief that has been settled.

CantWait replied:
Yes it does.