I REALLY want a divorce...

TeagansMom609 wrote: Well, it finally happened....I have totally lost all feelings that I have ever had for my husband. Most of you know our history, or should I say his history. (alcohol,etc.) Well recently we have been fighting ALOT. Everyday. Im just horribly miserable being with him. He just isn't what I wanted. When we first met I got pregnant after 3 months of being together, then we got married when Teagan was 7 months old. I got married for all of the wrong reasons and now its kicking me in the you know what..

Im not attracted to him in any way shape or form. Im happy at work, then I come home and im in a horrible mood. Its all very sad since we have two kids together. I just keep daydreaming about this perfect man that im going to meet one day and how great life will be to be with someone I really want to be with. I cant say I have ever been in love and would really like to have that with someone one day.

The really tough part of this whole thing is, neither of us can afford to split up. He cant go back home to his parents, I cant afford to live on my own. We just bought a new van a few months ago, and we have day care expenses out the ears. I feel stuck. I HATE feeling stuck.

Sorry for venting, im just sitting here by myself, not knowing where he is or who is with because he went out earlier to "go get his mother a mother's day card" and hasnt come back since. That was 3 1/2 hours ago. I even told him I already bought her one. I tried calling his cell and he didnt answer. He always answers unless he is drinking. So I guess thats what he is doing.

Im so tired of living like this. This constant unhappiness is going to end up killing me.

gr33n3y3z replied: Sorry to hear this Kelly
No one couldnt say you didnt try thats for sure.

jacobsmama replied: I'm very sorry that you are going through this and feeling so stuck. It sounds like you have tried everything you can and I don't think you can make yourself be attracted to someone especially if they aren't trying to be attractive to you KWIM like going out and drinking or leaving for long periods of time Just remember that you are a great mother and you have to do what is best for you and your children.

luvmykids replied: I'm sorry to hear you're going through this , you're right, feeling stuck is miserable! Hope somehow things work out and you find happiness.

C&K*s Mommie replied: I hope you can find peace and happiness too one day. Most of all with yourself, but eventually in someone too.

kimberley replied: i am sorry hon. btdt a couple of times and it surely isn't easy. it will take time, but just try to keep moving forward with your life with the kids, whether he is there or not. i wish i could help. i am here if you need a shoulder or an ear.

A&A'smommy replied: I'm SO sorry Kelly I don't even know what to say..

AlexsPajamaMama replied:

Cece00 replied: I'm sorry.

Are you sure you couldnt get help with stuff, like child care assistance through the OFS?

I am sure if you looked into it, you could find ways to get yourself "unstuck". Then maybe you could move on.

lisar replied: I think if you think it will make you happy then do it. We all know you have tried. But you cant change someone who doesnt want to be changed. Good luck.. We are all here for you.

CantWait replied: Kelly I'm so sorry. You're a beautiful young woman and you deserve better from him then what's he's giving to you.

ashtonsmama replied: I'm so sorry it's been so hard. It may be the best for you right now with the addiction, etc. and having the kids...it's so stressful to have fighting in the house all the time...prayers coming your way hun.

kayla's mama replied: I'm so sorry Kelly that you are going through this You so deserve better than what he is able to give you!!! You are a very beautiful woman, I'm sure you can find happiness with someone

MyLuvBugs replied: I'm so sorry Kelly....That really sucks right after having a baby and all. Have you talked with your parents about it all? Or have you looked into just separating from each other?

luvbug00 replied:

asweetnectarwomb replied: I'm so sorry to hear that, dear...

My pray that one day you'll get your happiness...

everybody will...

DVFlyer replied: Sorry to hear about your unhappiness. You deserve to be with someone who (most of the time ) makes you happy, but I know how hard it is to make decisions like that when you have kids.

PrairieMom replied: