I am highly disturbed with this infor - As a Floridian, and a mother

C&K*s Mommie wrote: I did not know this, but my instructor for one of my classes tonight was telling us that in Florida (she was not sure about other states) it is a law that any child of any age can walk into a doctors office to request three alarming things without my consent as their parent:

1) Birth Control
2) STD treatment
3) psychiatric meds

Whether the physician will write a Rx for any of this or not is the next highly disturbing thing, but for my child to walk into a doctors office and recieve information without my being present is shocking. To say the least. Due to patient confidentiality laws there is not a thing that I can do as her parent to request info on what the treatment was in the event I recieve a bill for it.

Do other states have similiar laws regarding minor children?

mom2my2cuties replied: Sadly, this is the case in most states

redchief replied: Unfortunately there is no consent necessary in NJ at this time. The parental consent law was struck down last year by the courts. Legislature is working on a revised state law, but odds are the courts will once again strike it down.

quinnandjacob'smom replied: I don't know about NY but holy cow! That's just crazy

PrairieMom replied: I don't know the laws here for sure, but that sounds about right. I'm not one bit surprised. The whole thing is nuts IMO.

kit_kats_mom replied: As a non abusive (physically or emotionally) parent who hopes to have an open line of communication with my children when they choose to become sexually active, I don't care for the law. However, I totally understand it. Sadly, there are many, many families where the children are not able to talk to their parents about these types of things, for fear of major physical or mental injuries. Even good kids make mistakes.

Hypothetically, say a 16 year old boy from a fundamentalist family with authoritarian rule by an alcoholic father has sex with a girl. He gets an STD. Does he tell his dad, who's instilled a sense that sex is dirty and bad and risk being thrown out of the house (or worse) with the devil after him? Probably not. He'd most likely suffer through it and pass the std on to others creating an epidemic, or just get very sick. Same with the psychiatric meds. No Dr. worth his salt is going to just perscribe something without having the kid see a shrink. If the same boy is having suicidal thoughts, his dad is likely to tell him to "snap out of it" or send him to church to talk to the priest. If it's a chemical imbalance, no priest will be able to help him. Then he kills himself? I'd rather he find someone who cares before that happens.


The law is in place to protect those kids who's parents are not there for them and I'm glad that someone with some sense is looking out for them.

luvbug00 replied: I do not beleive there is a parental concent law here but i have this to say.

THANK GOD! because i know one too many minor who should have

A. at least 6 kids

B. in a phyc facility

c. or have their organs damaged by clymidida. ( sp)

Sorry I'm all for minor having access to this stuff.

I know kids who's parents could give a d*** if their kids have panic attacks because they are in denial themselfves and girls in hs who should have pumped out at least 6 kids by now and one's who would have otherwise not have told their parents if there was somthing wrong "down there" .

lisar replied: WOW I live in florida I knew about the STD and the birth control but not the other. Thats crazy.

kit_kats_mom replied:
ITA. IMO I'd much rather the girls have birth control than abortions...which is oftentimes what they do. Trust me, I knew these girls in HS. And if those weren't available? Newborns in dumpsters? Who on earth would raise, or pay to raise, all of those unwanted kids? That's a whole other issue and I hope it doesn't start any problems with this thread or anything. I understand that some churches have issues with BC but frankly, it's the lesser of two evils and if the kids are going to do it anyway then by all means, I hope they protect themselves.

C&K*s Mommie replied: In general, we as loving parents all may want the best for our children, many of us hope to continue the open lines of communication with them as they mature and grow, this is not always the case though. My mother and I still are and were very close when I was growing up, but I would be ashamed to admit to her some things in my past.

The line between loving and non loving home where the parents do not give a d*mn is not that significant IMO when it comes to the poor decisions our kids make. Take for example the rampant illicit drug use of suburban kids. They may have loving homes where the parents gave a d*mn but kids make poor choices some with greater consequences than others. Or a child who has a single mother who is working 3 jobs to keep their heads barely above water and off the streets, they may make the same poor choices in life. In either case the child may be too ashamed to tell their parent of what is happening in their life. So while in truth these laws may have been put on the books to protect those that need protecting there are loopholes that allow the best loved child to slip in and recieve care. I am appalled & angered that there are doctors who prescribe meds to anyone coming off the street asking for it. Let alone potentially to my child who can get on prescription meds just by the asking.

My thoughts are random now, but I hope this makes sense. We all want the best for our children, but who is to say that my otherwise minor child is able to make the decision to get on birth control at the age of 10, when she is not legal to vote for another 8 yrs? Who is to say that my child is able to be put on psychiatric drugs at the age of 12, and I have had no say in this? This is outrageous to me!

Any child who is sexually active but still has enough wherewithall to know to go get checked for STD's many praises to them for thinking ahead to their future by being checked for STD's. I give them that. But prescribing meds to my child without my consent is beyond me.

C&K*s Mommie replied: Thannks Cary for not opening the doors to another subject as this could fall into. I understand.

I understand too that some churches have issues with BC too. I only know very little about it, but the bigger issue I have is the prescription psych meds. Among the three non-consent issues listed this is the biggest to me.

jcc64 replied: I am in complete agreement with Cary. Very well said.

kit_kats_mom replied:
Drs aren't just going to stick an 8 year old on an anti pschyotic for no good reason. At least not a good dr. Typically, they will do historys, and try meds in addition to counseling. Shoot, I'm 35 & had to practically beg my Dr to give me anti anxiety meds. If a child is having mental or emotional problems and is seeking help elsewhere because they are not comfortable enough to talk to their parents about it, then IMO it's ok. Chances are, those who are, the most anxious and mentally scarred kids, are that way because of their parents. Perhaps their parents don't know any better or perhaps they don't care. I think that if a kid realizes that they have a problem (excessive agression, suicidal thoughts, insomnia, anxiety etc) and is able to obtain help in dealing with it, it's a good thing. Plus, someone will have to pay for the meds and dr visits. The parents will most likely find out sooner or later anyway.

luvbug00 replied: I see a reason to be disterbed by this Nicole. but I've seen first hand kids who need to be seen and arn't and so they go themselfs. a 14 year old boy friend of mya's aunt has panick disorders and anxisity and just becasue his mom doesn't give a hoot about him he doesn't get the help he needs so HE will go to the free clinic and get what he needs to fix himself. Sad his mother couldn't care less but even sadder if he had no acsess to the meds and ended up hurting himself because he couldn't get his hands on the meds.

As fas as STDs had a friend in hs got clyamidia and we went to the free clinic ( i think we were 16) and she got meds and was checked again and was ok. Now if she had not gone clamidia can RUIN your reproductive system . She wan't about to tell her mom she has had sex. So without this ascessablity she could be in reproductive he*#.

I agree not even treading on the young pregnancy thing. just wanted to say.

Boo&BugsMom replied: I don't know about WI, but I'm unsure I should even get into this discussion. My philosophy is you make the bed you lay in. I'll just leave it at that.

As far as the consent thing, I would be disturbed by it, esp. the mental drugs because there are so many teenagers who think they are depressed and aren't. It's just hard being a teenager, period. And I think it'a hard for some teenagers to see that line. JMO!

grapfruit replied: From a "Dear Abby" Letter:

DEAR ABBY: I am extremely shaken by a recent experience, and I want to share this with other parents who may one day find themselves in a similar situation. My daughter, "Mary," is almost 18 and in the 12th grade. We have always had a close relationship. She has always come to me to talk about what's going on in her life -- friends, crushes, school, just about everything.
A few months ago, Mary told me about a terrible situation concerning one of her classmates. "Jill" had just learned that she was pregnant and was frantic. She told Mary that she couldn't tell her parents because she was afraid of a violent reaction.

Mary was so worried about Jill that she came to me for help. After hearing the story, I encouraged my daughter to tell Jill to talk to her parents. I never imagined what would happen next.

I knew from things Mary had said that Jill's parents were hard on her, but I didn't know the extent of her problems at home. When Jill took my advice and told her parents she was pregnant, her father beat her so badly she ended up in the hospital and lost the baby.

Abby, you can't imagine how terrible I feel about this. Jill will never be the same, and I feel I am to blame. I wish I had known how to protect her from a dangerous and violent situation at home.

I hope you will share this letter with other concerned parents and give your thoughts on this heart-wrenching problem. -- SHOCKED AND SADDENED IN SHERMAN OAKS, CALIF.

DEAR SHOCKED: Please stop being so hard on yourself. You advised your daughter's friend to do what most other parents would have. What you failed to take into consideration was the fact that many teens live in homes where there is violence, abuse, drug problems and incest.

A year ago here in California, there was an attempt to legislate "parental notification" into law. Fortunately, it was voted down. It's teens like your daughter's friend who would have been harmed by this kind of law. They certainly cannot go to their parents -- and I have never believed that the law can successfully force this kind of communication with the home.
Of course parents want their children -- regardless of age -- to come to them if there is a crisis. And I am told that seven out of 10 teens who find themselves pregnant do exactly that. However, those who don't usually have a good reason for not doing so. Teens like the girl in your letter need counseling and care, not laws forcing them to face abusive parents. I'm glad you wrote to me. Your sad story is a lesson for other well-meaning adults.



Sad...

holley79 replied: Well fortunately a decent doctor is not going to just give out psyc meds. If the child comes in and says they are going to harm themselves then the parent will be notified because the child/ teen is going to be baker acted.

It's really sad the parents have no rights to know. I would hope I have a good enough relationship with my daughter she can come to me in the event she needs any kind of help.

A&A'smommy replied:
ITA I hope that my children KNOW they can talk to me about those things...

Anyway its a good law with good intentions.. and like many other laws will be abused. JMO

MommyToAshley replied: I hope to have a good relationship with Ashley and have the lines of communication open. With that being said, I am sure there are things that she won't want to tell me during her teenage years, no matter how good our relationship will be.

I don't agree with the law at all. While I understand the reason for the law, I don't agree with it. If these children are living in such a violent home, they need more than just free birth control without fear of their parents finding out. Maybe a better solution would be to provide a safe haven for these kids, counseling for the teen or the entire family, etc. Instead of helping to get at the root of the problem, this law puts a band aid on it. And, it allows doctors to practice medicine on my child without my knowledge... I have to say that I don't agree with it at all.

Boo&BugsMom replied:

C&K*s Mommie replied: Dee Dee put my thoughts best into written words.

I seldom can gather my random thoughts together enough to make any sense, but I am happy that others can and can say what I really intend to say, but in short.

gr33n3y3z replied: Here teens can go to the clinic and get what they need and the county pays for it exam to the pills

Is it a good Idea I'm all for it but I rather my daughters come to me and we go to a Dr outside the clinic bc we dont need the help for one and I rather them have a better Dr well at least at our clinic they are so so and your treated like a assembly line there.

Cece00 replied: I'm with Cary on this one.

Even though I will talk to my kids about sex and STD's and all of that, and I will happily get my kids birth control (the pill, condoms, whatever...), I'm glad that these teens can go & get meds/treatment for STD's and meds for birth control. Teen pregnancy needs to be stopped as much as possible.

I'm not really crazy about the psych medications BUT I can see some good in it, for kids whose parents just dont give a crap about them & know they need some help.

cameragirl21 replied: while i can see why this law would be disturbing and distressing, ultimately i agree with Cary on this one.
the brother of a good friend of mine has a 12 year old daughter who suffers from depression and needs to be on some kind of meds for it but her dad thinks having a psychiatric disorder is a negative stigma so he refuses to take her to see a shrink and she basically floats through day after day miserable instead of enjoying her soon to be teen years. her dad seems to think that not taking her to a shrink somehow makes her emotional problems nonexistent but that is not the case--treated or not, she still suffers from clinical depression and still needs to be treated.
i think laws like this may be a necessary evil for children like my friend's niece.