I am new here. - Coping

MOUSER wrote: I am new here and new to pregnancy. I am 23 and have been married for 4 years. I miscarried 1 year ago at 5 weeks. Currently I am 7 weeks. What I wanted to know is how you cope with the emotional,financial and not knowing what to expect when your expecting your bundle of joy. I know that I want children, I have always wanted children thats why this sudden onset of anxious, uneasy feeling has thrown me for a loop! Is this normal is it hormones please help?

mckayleesmom replied: Hi Im Brianne 22, My dh is Leithan 25, we have been married for almost a year and we have a beautiful 3 month old daughter Mckaylee Grace. I also miscarried before Mckaylee when I was about 2 months pregnant. I would have to say that alot of the anxiousness that I had when I was pregnant with Mckaylee was honestly because I had miscarried before. And I also have to say that until the day that she was born and I saw her for myself I was constantly paranoid. The best advice I could offer you is to calm down and just think positive. And don't try to self diagnose yourself with stuff you read, and don't believe everything you read either. I think that had alot to do with my paranoia. Anyways, if you need anyone to talk to , you can email me at annebri99@yahoo.com. I know you will find this site really helpfull. I wish I would have known about it before I had Mckaylee. Hope to see you around..Congratulations on your little one on the way..

supermom replied: Hi - I'm Beverly, and I have 4 with one on the way in about a week and a half. I think some of the feelings of anxiety and paranoia are perfectly normal, we all worry about our children when we are carrying them. I also miscarried at about 2 mos of pg between number three and number 4. My X didn't want any more children, so we never tried again, but that thought was still there in the back of my mind when I got pg with my new DH. And it is true, even though you have one more successful pg, you still think about whether or not your child will be born OK.

The best advice I can give you is to try to relax, don't stress too much. Remember, there are FAR more successful pg than not, and the odds are definately in your favor. And Brianne is right, dont' self-diagnose, and don't believe everything you read, and I would like to add don't believe everything that every one tells you, either. Trust yourself, trust your OB, and try to find out about things before jumping to conclusions. It is much better to find out the facts first, and then go from there.

If you want to talk to anyone, we're here - and welcome, I think that you will find everyone here very friendly and helpful.

alice&arik replied: Hi! My name is Alice and i am a single mom to my baby boy Arik.I never had a miscarriage and don't know if this helps. I had a lot of that anxiety when i was pregnant. The 1st month or 2 all i could think was why me and why didn't i prevent this. How was i going to afford it. I cried a lot not knowing how everyting was going to work out. but i eventually saw the positive side and realized i had to do my best. I just thought of how cute and pretty him or her was gonna be, i couldn't wait for maternity leave! it is normal to have the anxiety and i think it is mostly hormones, it was for me anyway. His father was living with me but died in a car accident when i was 3 months pregnant. I had a lot of anxiety after that. I couldn't hardly cope with any of it. But i made it through. Arik just turned one on Friday. Maybe this is too much info, if it is sorry, it still helps to talk about it once in a while.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: CONGRATULATIONS AND WELCOME TO THE PARENTING CLUB! I think what you are feeling is all normal! Given your previous miscarriage you probbaly don't want to attach yourself to the baby just yet! Give it time and you will soon be enjoying this pregnancy!

Looking Forward to getting to know you!

MomToMany replied: Hi MOUSER! Welcome to the forums and to pregnancy! I'm 26, married, and PG with #5 (due March 20, 2004). This one was quite unexpected . Just try to relax, and do everyday things to keep your mind off of it for awhile. I know, it sounds impossible, but it does help. Your body is still adjusting to being PG, and once you get to 12 weeks, things should calm down a little bit, hormone-wise. Everybody else gave good advice, too.

Good luck, and come here anytime!

amynicole21 replied: Welcome! I was just talking to my friend about this last night. She's 23 weeks and beginning to freak out about the responsibility of becoming a parent. I think it is completely normal to be worried about this. After all, it is an entirely new chapter to your life. It is only natural to be apprehensive. Try to focus on the wonderful aspects of becoming a mommy. Also, talk to your DH/SO and family/friends about your feelings. It is amazing how getting your worries out in the open somehow diminishes them. Congrats on your baby!!!

ediep replied: Congrats and welcome!!!

Its normal to feel anxious about being pregnant and becoming a parent. I was very anxious throughout my pregnancy and even now, I still tend to be a worry wart!! Try not to stress out too much and definately talk to your OB about any worries that you have.
Relax! Once the baby comes, there isn't a lot of relax time!!

Mommieto2Girls replied: Hi, welcome,

What everyone said is really good advice. It's all normal to go through but try to relax and enjoy your pregnancy and I wish you the best.

Schnoogly replied: Hi and welcome! My DH and I were married for 5 years before we decided to try. I'm 28, so is he. I was never really sure if I was ready, and we decided based on my career-timing to try when we did. To be honest you can never really be READY, so don't worry about that. Financially, emotionally, etc., it just works out. I worried constantly that I wasn't ready to give up my very spontaneous life, my sleeping in, my being able to lay in bed and read a book all day or take off for the weekend at a moment's notice. But now I have this sweet wonderful baby who is so much fun! I'm certainly never bored anymore!

Being a mom is the hardest thing I have ever done. I don't think it's for everyone. But you do get used to it, and it gets a lot easier. The first couple months are pretty tough! But it's also wonderful. It's a whole new life experience, one you will never forget and which will make your life so much better and richer and different. It's normal to be anxious about it, but try to think about the fun parts--you get to go shopping!!!

Steph

MommyToAshley replied: Hi Mouser and Welcome!

Congrats on your PG!

So glad you decided to join us. And, as everyone has already stated, what you are feeling is normal. I was much more paranoid with my second PG because I had a son who was stillborn at 5 months. Losing a child does affect your PG, but you should try to relax. I know -- easier said than done. I also called my OB/nurse ALL THE TIME. I didn't care, it helped to put my mind at ease. I think they understood especially given my history. I even went in for an ultra sound the week before Ashley was born because I hadn't felt her move the entire day. (But, everything was ok). So, don't be afraid to call your OB or the nurse on staff. Also, I think you will find this group of ladies (and a few dads) very supportive and helpful. THey sure put my mind at ease!

Nice to meet you and looking forward to getting to know you better!

MomToJade&Jordan replied: Hi Mouser, welcome and congrats.

I'm Carrie-Ann and the first time Mom to Jade who will be turning 1 on the 30th. I had two miscarriages and I felt anxious during my pregnancy with Jade. She was conceived right after my last miscarrige. I knew I was pregnant, but I kind of shrugged it off. I didn't want to get excited about something I might loose. When I finally took the test it was positive right away and I knew I had to go to the Doc. We had no clue how far along I was so they scheduled an ultrasound. Well to my suprise I was 14 weeks and had made it through the first trimester. You are going to be anxious about no matter how much you want a baby. Some of it is hormones and some of it might the fear of losing another one. I know that is how I felt while I was pg with Jade. I would ask God after every appt. that I remained pg if I could just make it to the next and thanked him after everyone I made. Before I knew it I was a Mom. You will be fine and you will learn so much about yourself after you have your child. Just remember if you have any concerns this is a great place to be. Welcome again and goodluck.