I am so UPSET......................

jen wrote: with my mom. She is mad at me because I am not having my sister be the Godmother, instead I have already asked my bestfriend since 1st grade. How can she think that it is in ANY way her decision. My sister is unthoughtful and inconsiderate. She didn't even come to My DH birthday party that was planned for months because she said she didn't get a "written" invitation. She never shows up for anything on time and she does drugs and parties every night of the week and hasn't had a job for 1 1/2 months and is NOT looking!. I love my sister just the same, this is just who she has decided to be and I have tried to my wits end to change her.

My mom thinks I have no right to judge her and that she should be the Godmother because she is going to "straighten out" one day. OKAY! but for now she isn't and what is my bestfriend of so many years, chopped liver???

She had me crying my eyes out lastnight, my dh had to call her and tell her to stop and she hung up on him! She told me that just because I have moved on and gotten my life together doesn't give me the right to sit back and hold judgement over my sister..............I am not judging her I am worried about her, I think she is going to get killed doing drugs or drinking with these people she hangs around. I don't want to be waiting at our church in front of all our family for her to show up and then she doesn't because she partied to hard the night before. I told this to my mom. I also told her that I couldn't understand why her and my dad aren't doing anything about it. They deny she has any problems and say they are done raising her, she has to make her own decisions.

I am just so upset, if it isn't one thing it is another. I also haven't told my sister that she wouldn't be the Godmother. I really don't think she will care. She hasn't been around me much since I got pregnant. My friend is so excited and honored and knows how special it is to me and DH. If she does care I don't want to hurt her feelings but I really think she will understand. I just don't know what to say to her.

Kaitlin'smom replied: your mom has no say you have to think of your baby not what your sister might do one day. I am sorry you mom feels like she has to but in, stand your ground on this and try and explian to her its not that your judging her its just you have to do whats right for your baby, and if your sister does get it together someday than you might reconsider her but until then its your choise not hers!

aspenblue1 replied: I can't believe you mother would say that. It is not her decision who the godmother is and you should pick whoever is going to be the best not who you are related to.

~CrazieMama~ replied: I understand to a point where your mom is coming from. That she is done raising her and she is now an adult and can make her own decisions. But that is it. I know that was a hard decision to make, maybe not, but your sister will understand. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but she eventually. My sister did this too. She and her DH have decided to make her DH's sister the godmother and not me. I understand though. My only job is babysitting for her and collecting child support. I am a single mom. But your mom really needs to be put in her place. I know, that sounds mean, but sometimes in order for someone to see how things really are, they have to be told straight out. I do hope all works out for you.

coasterqueen replied: (((HUGS))) Jen. That stinks that your mother said that! She has no right telling you who should be your baby's godmother at all! I wish I could say something to make you feel better but I don't Go with your gut on this and stand your ground.

amynicole21 replied: I was just going to say the same thing as everyone else. This is totally your decision. I'm not certain, but doesn't being a godparent mean that they would raise her if something happened to you guys? Why would you want someone you don't trust completely raising your child?? Hang in there sweetie. This is the first of many battles you are going to face regarding raising your child, unfortunatly.

mummy2girls replied: I know what you feel like in a way.. for me its not my mom but my sister. I chose my brother and arons sister to be the godparents. Becuase growing up he was closest to me and aron is really close to his sister. My sister didnt like the fact i didnt choose her. But you know what you have to look at the whole picture and the future also. Other than her being so close to you(your friend) you kniw that if anything should ever happen to you and DH (God forbid) you know that your baby will be cared for! The fact your sis does drugs is scarey. alot of drug addicts say they will stop but alot never do. There are mnany that do but there are many that dont. Do you want your baby growing up in an environment like that? its tough when desicions have to be made and family are involved..good luck and many hugs!

CantWait replied: shame on your mom. Who you pick as godmother of YOUR baby is your decision. You're right for picking your bestfriend. Being a godmother is a big responsibility, and you need to pick someone who's going to be there for your baby and be able to have a positive influence on their life.

kimberley replied: ugh... it is your decision and doesn't your mom know what the function of the godmother is???? if your sis is out drinking and doing drugs and shirking responsibility b/c she is too hung over to deal with it, what kind of role model will she be?

just tell your sis she will always be an auntie but it is important to you to have your friend play an integral role in your baby's life. she will understand.

good luck and let us know how it goes.

MomToJade&Jordan replied: Like the others have said this is your decision and that should have been the end of the story. Apparently your mother has forgotten the reason of a Godparent. I'm sorry, but I wouldn't make someone a Godparent based on the faith that they would straighten out someday. I think that making your trusted friend a Godparent is a good idea. Your Mom just needs to leave alone.

A&A'smommy replied: awww im soo sorry!!! I would definitly make it clear that it isnt your moms business!!! And not worry to much about your sister since she doesnt worry to much about you! But you have to go with your heart and what you know is best for you and your family!!! GOod luck and i hope things dont get even more aggravating for you!! You definitly dont need that not with you being pg!!! ((((((HUGS))))

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I can relate to the mom pissing off the pg girl thing!! LOL! My mother has been a pain towards me this entire pg. She wants everything to go her way. Just like she was with my wedding. So, I do it my way and in the end she sees that I was right....and she was not. Sorry you are upset. Stick to your guns and keep your BFF as your godmother. Your sister doesn't sound like she has done much to deserve that title/privilege in your life....nor your child's. It's bad enough that she has the title/privilege of "Aunt". Sorry to be so mean, but she hasn't proved anything to anyone.

jem0622 replied: This isn't the only thing your Mother will guilt you on. Be strong and you do what you feel is best. Period.

HUGS