I am so livid at my mother.. Am I wrong here
TANNER'S MOM wrote: Well my Mom works for herself and has a trucking business. We do pretty much the same job but she only works a few months a year b/c she has a goverment contract to haul the mail durning Christmas rush only. I mean last year she made 180,000 and that was after paying her help and all her trucks, that was her profit. That might not be alot for some. But she is a retired and so is her husband, everything they own is paid for etc. So, it's nice change in her account.
Well she wanted me to help her this year, but it would mean I would have to take an extended leave of absence or quit my job all together. I told her, I wasn't ready to do that. She was expecting me to just go and stay at her house day and night thru this run..and with 4 kids I know thats not possible.
So, she emailed me Friday and told me if I would come and work with her on the weekends, and do the computer spreadsheets, empty check calls and help her in her accounting program she would pay me $500.00 a day.. $1000.00 a weekend.. and I was thinking oh shoot ya.. Thats Christmas Money I won't have any worries. I had talked to Randy and told him what was going on etc. We were already makeing arrangements for me to go down there. I talked to my ex husband and told him I would need him to take Britt and Justin durning those weekends..and Randy was looking at his work schedule. He had to work 2 weekends out of the 8 she needed my help.
So, I email her and tell what I have lined out etc. She emails me back and tells me Tanner can't come and stay the weekends with me in her home durning that time. That she will be working and doesn't have the time to be a Grandma.
Okay he is 8..it's not like he is on a bottle or has diapers that need changed. I mean come on. he can watch himself. He needs feed of course but heck half the time he does that himself. I am just livid. I wanted to say so bad.. well you didn't have to be my Momma for the first 28 years of my life..whats new..
Am I completely wrong..or is she right? I guess I am just hurt and I was planning on that money..cause now I refuse to go for the principle of the dang deal..
Help ..I haven't responded to her email yet.. what should I say?
Boo&BugsMom replied: Perhaps you should just call her and explain it wont be an inconvenience to have him there. For that money, I'd do it in a heartbeat too, and I'd also be upset as well. If you explain your thoughts then maybe you can make her see it's not a big deal.
Oh, and 180,000 dollars!!!!! Heck! I'd LOVE to make that much! Can I go work for her? 
mom2my2cuties replied: 
I don't really have any advice - dealing with my OWN mother is enough to even make the calmest of person want to commit murder. But I do understand why you are upset and why you wouldn't go - what about the older kids keeping Tanner while you are working so she wouldn't have to bother with "Being Grandma"
TheOaf66 replied: well I understand what she is saying I just don't think she said it very well. She is going to be swamped etc and was I think just trying to warn you ahead of time, but the way she worded it was terrible. I guess I would just tell her what you said..he is self sufficient etc.
TANNER'S MOM replied:
Well, I don't know that I want to leave my children all alone for a weekend.. which is why I told my ex he had to watch Brittany and Justin. I mean to be honest a 16 year old girl alone scares me more and needs more supervision then my 8 year old son.
I mean I know she isn't used to having children and maybe we were disposable for her.. but mine aren't. I can't believe she said that about 4 days.. u know..
mom2my2cuties replied: OH! I thought your older ones were going with you. Sorry I misread that part.
gr33n3y3z replied: I cant see why you cant take your kids with you
Maybe if you tell her ok Mom here is the deal the kids come or I cant do it
Good luck but the money does sound good
Kaitlin'smom replied: Well being as she has not been your mom for 28 years, she deffinalty has NO clue how an 8yr old would be. Thoese were deffinalty horrible words, and a hard pill to swallow that she just does not know that your son is more than capable of fending for himself. Hon for that kind of money I would HAVE to do it, like you said christmas would be easly covered (and then some for me). However I see what you mean those words stung. Is there friends he might be able to stay with? I woudl deffinalty let her know what you told us, he dont need his diper changed or to be hand fed. My only question with you both working all weekend would he get board?
TANNER'S MOM replied:
Well the getting bored thing.. I am sure he can entertain himself with movies and computer games.. etc.. just like at home.
I know the money is killing me.. then the guilt.
If I work all week to make a living..and then don't even see my son on the wekends what kind of mother am I. I mean she pretty well expects me to get there Friday when I get off and stay until Late Sunday...it's just a day job..she wants me there 24/7 durning that weekend..
It would be different if she wanted me to come and do my work and leave.. I am about 2 hours from where she is..
mom2my2cuties replied: Could you guys possibly swing a hotel for those weekends??? Might make it easier for you to bring Tanner.
Would give him something to do during the day and stuff and as long as he is pretty responsible and wouldn't leave the hotel, then there is no reason he couldn't stay there and relax during the day and then you guys spend time together in the evenings.
Cece00 replied: Well, even though I think she is overestimating how much time an 8 yr would require, I would probably do it if I were you, if talking to your mother does no good. Its just one week/weekend...maybe he has a friend he'd like to go stay with for the weekend?
Kaitlin'smom replied: tough call then....
what kind of mother are you? a GREAT one. I know the guilt feeling but sometimes we have to do things to get ahead that we may not want or like life happends and does not mean your a bad mother just a mom who wants the best for her family.
mom2my2cuties replied: Ditto to what Di said -
But also -
Tanner might miss you for a little bit right now - but MAN he is going to be so excietd when you spoil him with all the money you are making 
mckayleesmom replied: Can Tanner stay with your dad on the weekends? Maybe go on fishing trips and stuff with him?
gr33n3y3z replied:
Thats a good idea
My2Beauties replied: Honey believe me I would be so livid too, like you said it's not like he needs constant attention and Tanner is a good boy, he would mind you and he would be good. I would tell her the situation how you can't come on those weekends unless you can bring Tanner and that it would be almost impossible for you to find someone to keep him. But.. Mel, if he does have a friend or someone you trust that he can stay with for those 2 days or during the day until Randy gets home at night on those weekend, I wouldn't pass that money up - that's an awesome Christmas.
punkeemunkee'smom replied: I am sorry she said that! What is wrong with these people???   Girl you know how I feel about the $$$ IT IS GOOD-no debate there but what about the rules and lines that come with it? I agree that Tanner could stay at a friends house but I know your desire to have him with you too-in case he needs you. He is 8 and can do his own deal but at the same time he is 8 and he still may need his momma! That money would be tempting me too-shoot I am ready to make the drive myself! Here is an idea I will come babysit for gas $$$ and a place to crash for the weekend! Oh and a job for Bill I know that this hurts but in the long run gifts at Christmas won't replace Tanner feeling unwanted by Grandma if you push her into letting him come with you and she treats him like crap while he is there....Girl you know you shouldn't jump on rope bridges and you and your mom still have a rope bridge relationship....If she jumped on Tanner out of irriataion while you were there I am afraid it may ruin any more communication between you two....  Kay I am done now 
TANNER'S MOM replied:
Abbie you are right.. It's a rope bridge. I guess maybe I could have someone watch him.. Maybe Nana.. but dang I don't know if I can not see him durning my work and then leave him for that much time. I have never left him like that really. I mean one time I left him.. but I drank alot to help himself.
You know how it is when it comes to our babies.. the Momma bear comes out!
I will think this over.
We can't fish in winter Brianne..lol But to be honest my Dad and I have had a falling out and haven't spoken since the first week of September..and I really miss him. But I can't be the one to make the call he needs too. Tanner misses him too..and it makes me cry to think about it.
Hillbilly Housewife replied: See if you can arrange a sleepover at his friends house. For that money, I'd go in a heartbeat... and besides... how often will you have a chance to make 8000 with a snap of your fingers?
Heck I'll do it for half that. 
CantWait replied:
Hopefully this is the case. I can totally see your point though. My goodness when Robbie was 8 years old, I think even 7, I was pregnant with Anthony and completely exhausted and he was able to fend for himself 3/4 of the time. Horrible, but like you said, they need bottles and bums changed.
hawkshoe replied:
I agree. I don't think she was being rude. She just wanted you to know that it was going to be a lot of work and she would feel bad not being able to do things with her grandson. It is really hard to say some things via e-mail because it is often taken the wrong way. You should call her and let her know that your son understands that you and she will be working the entire time and that the only way you can do this is if he can come with you. Good luck.
holley79 replied: I don't ahve any advice but I hope you get it figured out. I dont' think there should be a problem with Tanner beign there. JMO though.
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