I am so ticked at DH!!!!

Hillbilly Housewife wrote: So this morning, he tells me to email him to leave him a *list* of things to do today while he's at home doing nothing, without Zach.

So this is what I send:

Could you call your dad to see if my mom could borrow him and his van for one night this week? She needs to bring some furniture home from somewhere...

Take the clothes in the dryer, fold it, and put it away.

Take the hangers and hang them up in the closet upstairs.

Take the towels, wash them, and dry them (by hanging them - No red or purple though!!!!!)

Could you scan a few pictures of Zach's birthday party? I'd like to send some off through email tonight or tomorrow...

Empty the dishwasher (make sure everything is clean - there were a few problems last time) and reload it.

Would you be able to clean out the fridge? If not, it's ok, we can do it together tomorrow evening...we can have Zach babysat.

If you have time still (which you should... ha ha) Could you fold and put away the clothes on the futons? If it needs to be ironed, bring it upstairs on the pink chair, and the ironing board... I can do that tonight when Zach is asleep. (IF he falls asleep... ha ha.) If you have anything upstairs that would need to be ironed...bring it down there too. Do you need anything sewn? Bring that there too.

Play with kitties!

Have lunch... and have a good dinner before you go to work. It's not like we eat dinner together much anyhoo... lol So be healthy without me!

Love you, and call me when you get this!

So I called him a few minutes ago to see how he was doing...if he had started, and if he had lunch yet.

He tells me he hadn't started yet, and that he's been downloading work for his school for the last hour and a half. Me, being horrified at the amount of work they're putting on my honey, asks him what he has to download...he says 2 articles he needs to read for tomorrow.

?!?!

Anyways... he's had problems with his university's library site or whatever, so he's been trying to get thses articles for the last 90 minutes.

So he looks at the list, and tells me it's going to take him all afternoon.

How long can it take to fold half a dryer full of clothes, which is mostly underwear and socks? All the stuff that's already hung downstairs just needs to be taken upstairs...it's already all on hangers....I did that last night!

And the rest?

OMG all this would have taken me an hour at the MOST. And he tells me he won't be done today? I ask him what else he was planning on doing today... he says nothing, why?

Arg!!

I wish he'd do stuff at home sometimes. I do more when I get home that what I leave him in the *lists* that HE ASKS ME FOR.

Yesterday's list only had 5 things on it:
1) change the bed sheets on our bed
2) change the bed sheet in Zach's crib
3) change the sheet on Zach's mattress
4) change the litter in the liter pan (dump in a garbage bag, and pour new litter in pan..whoopdeedoo...I'd do it myself if I weren't pg)
5) put the dishes from Sunday night into the dishwasher

And it took him 2 HOURS!! And he had the gall to complain that I make him do too much!!!!

AAAAARRRRGGGG!!!

It really ticks me off...because I'll do much more than that in a day. Usually I have a load of laundry going while I make dinner...and the dinners I make I always make double, because after dinner I take the time to take the leftovers and put them in baggies or tupperware for the freezer. Then I clean up the kitchen and the dining room table, because he's to lazy to bring his own darn plate to the kitchen.

I'm the one who empties the trash...I'm the one who vaccuums, and I vaccuum every day, because of the cat hair, and Zach's leftover food and cookie crumbs.....I dust... I take care of the plants that HE insists the more the merrier, it makes it seem fresher...I take care of the cats - if I didn't scoop the litter pan when I did my laundry every day, it would only get done every 4 or 5 days by him... I clean teh bathrooms... do you think it woul dkill him to lift a finger now and then?

it's like now that he's back in school, he's King Sh!t of Turd Island. He can't take too much time to do anything else, because he's got schoo-ooo-oool

Last year, he was ony working 10 hours a week, and he had 5 classes. He got B's in 3 of his classes, and a C in one of them. He failed a course, too! And I took care of Zach in the evenings... I never pawned Zach off on him to have a night off. I understood that he needed his education, and didn't say anything when he'd take Saturdays to go study at his buddy's house, cmoing back and telling me of this new song on guitars they came up with...(real strong studying there, huh?) so I just did everything anyways.

Well now he's back in school...to take the ONE course he failed last year. It's 2x a week, for an hour and a half. He only works 4 hours on the days he's got school...so he basically has all morning until 10, then from 2 to 4...then from 6 all evening. He's not staying home with Zach yet (starts on the 22nd) so he has all of Tuesday, Thursday and Friday, from morning until 4:30pm, to do whatever the heck he wants...and he complains if I leave him too many items to do, which I do on any given night.

Now I have projects going too...I don't sit around when I'm home. I'm in the process of painting my downstairs bathroom, I'll be done tomorrow, hopefully. Maybe the day after. Next, I'm painting Zach's room. Will he help? no. He's not very good with a paintbrush...tends to spill stuff and paint crookedly... so I wonder if he has the Homer Simpson disease - you know, when if you do something a crappy way..yuo'll never be asked to do it again? So forget about him doing it alone... he wouldn't want to, anyways.

But he's ready to take 3 hours of his busy schedule on a SUNDAY, our ONLY day together, to re-wire his stereo system so that the music can be heard on all florrs, through the phone lines.

ARG!

As if he couldn't do that on one of the days he has NOTHING to do?!?!?!

Sorry for the rant guys... It's ranting to you ro divorcing him!! heh heh!

Ugh.

jdkjd replied: I swear boys have a totally different sense of how long things take to do. If they would just, maybe, possibly do more thing at one time, maybe it wouldn't take them so long.

We can run the dishwasher, do laundry, and take more than one thing upstairs at a time-why can't they?

And rant all you want, we're here for you!

(And for all of the super-wonderful daddies out there, this doesn't include you!)

A&A'smommy replied: hey i can see where you coming from!!! Have you told him how you feel? He should be helping you out more especially since your pg!!!! heres some hugs !!!!!

chloe&tysmommy replied: hey, come to think of it I think my dh has the 'Homer Simpson' disease too...LOL.... thats exactly what he does, makes a mess of whatever hes doing because he knows I will get mad and say 'here let me do it'.

and for your dh hopefully things work out for you

Whats he going to get done when he has Zach at home???

Mommieto2Girls replied: You should copy and paste this to him. I think he needs to be enlightened. That's awful what you are going through, your supposed to be relaxing more while your pregnant. I think you have to stick up for yourself a little more and get your point across with him better.

amynicole21 replied: I think it was probably shock from the sheer length of the list, not taking into account that the majority of the stuff on there is ridiculously easy to do! Guys see a lot of things on a page and freak out. And I agree with everyone else, multi-tasking is not their strong suit Do they just sit and watch the dishwasher until it's finished or something? Geez!

Hillbilly Housewife replied: About multi tasking.... heh heh I even, as a joke, one time, sent him a list detailing everything he could do at one time. Let me find it...


Hi;

I made up a little list...AND, for your convenience, they are actually in the order they should be done, saving you time and steps. This will save me about 15 minutes when I get home... Enjoy.


1) put away clothes in baskets upstairs, then take the green baskets downstairs, with the clothes on the floor in it. Empty pockets please!!
2) change load in washer (dark clothes I put in this morning) HANG STUFF UP instead of putting it in the dryer!!! (you can put in stuff like underwear, or light pieces of clothing - nothing thick or heavy, takes too much energy - and it will only take about 20 minutes, instead of the whole cycle - Saving costs!!!!)
3) take towels (not white ones) and put them in for a wash
4) scoop litter
5) bring clothes from dryer upstairs and fold
6) put away clothes that you just folded
7) change load in dishwasher (if it's not full, don't have to turn it on)
8) wipe down (scrub, with cleaner spray) the kitchen counters and the stove
9) pick up all baby toys and put in clear plastic bag with the mats (already has toys in it)
10) would you be able to move the desk that your computer was on into our room, where the baskets you should already have moved were?
11) put my computer on the desk you just moved, for now
12) change the bed sheets, and bring them downstairs
13) while you're downstairs, check on the loads, change...

Now I realize that some people may think I treat him like a child... but he actually ASKS me for these lists. It's not everyday anyways...but it's like the end of the world when I actually do send him one.

I HATE HATE HATE that he absolutely HAS to sit and watch whatever he's downloading..download. If I'm downloading someithng... i don't sit there and watch it for 10 minutes... i do something else. Ugh. Multitask! Come ON!!!

I dread the day where he will start having Zach all day. I keep telling him *you do know that you won't be able to do noghint all day? You actually have to do things like Read to him and sing to him? play games wiht him? Take hijm outside? *

he keeps saying Yeah yeah....

I'm very very nervous. He's a great father, loves playing with Zach.... but he usually never plays with him a whole day at a time... the most is like 2 or 3 hours alone with him... lol *I*'m the one who's always alone with him!!!


I've told him how I feel so many times... I've tried everything to get him to do stuff around the house. I've even done the *close my eyes* game...where I pretend nothing bothers me. I didn't TOUCH anything for a whole month.

I swear...if you would have seen my house at that time, you would have called social services, it was so gross. I'm thankful we didn't have Zach then...it was just the 2 of us and our first cat. It was absolutely disgusting. I got tired of it after a month..and MADE him help me clean it up. Eww. I still get the shivers... I'm happy we didn't get any bugs though.

Whenever I talk to him about that kind of stuff...he's ok for a couple days....but then he's right back to the Homer he was before we talked...

UGH!!

At least he called me to suck up - he did all the stuff on my list, told me *you were right, it only took me about an hour* (not counting the time it took me to write my first message...THAT took me like 15 minutes! heh heh!!)

He even asked me if I wanted him to pass the vaccuum. I almost fell... lol

Hillbilly Housewife replied: And I do do all kinds of things for him... like iron his stuff and sew his stuff... and the big one is cook....he can, but the most fancy thing is freezer stuff that just goes in the oven... like fish sticks.

I don't even bother asking him to do it...explaining it to him would take 3x as long as me just doing it... lol

coasterqueen replied: I'm pretty lucky, Dh will help out for the most part. But he does freak out about lists. He'll do what is on it, but never to my standards

Men, they just can't multi-task and they never will.

MomToMany replied: Lots of hugs for you! I'm right there with you! If it doesn't have to do with "outside", it's my responsibility. We have wood heat, and he thinks that because he cuts & splits firewood that he's God or something (he uses a chainsaw and a gas-powered splitter). LOL, I've been tempted to say "Where's your ax??".

It wouldn't do me any good to leave a list for him; he'd claim that he couldn't understand what I meant. He's never really been by himself with the kids, so I don't really know how that would go. Hmmm...there's an idea!!!

I KWIM about it taking them 3x as long to do something! It took DH (the one time he did it) an hour to fold a basketful of clothes, not counting the time to put it all away (which is something I hate to do). Of course he didn't do that, he folded them so I guess that was enough work for one day .

I've pretty much given up on him helping; maybe if I get his dad to tell him to help, then maybe he would. He calls his dad at least 3x a day, and as soon as he shows up here, he has to run outside to see what he's doing (they share a big garage/workshop here). it's SO annoying that he still talks to his dad more than me in a day !

Sorry for making this an epic novel.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: What is it about men and having to get togehter to watch each other grunt over some piece of junk?

Whenever DH has anyone over...they run and hide into the computer room... I donb't see them for hours. I've brought them drinks and cookies and popcorn and stuff to munch on...but their online gaming parties just plain suck for me.

I wouldn't mind doing stuff in the house if DH didn't sit on his butt all day. But he's home, he does nothing... irks me, because I have to work 5/7 days... and I watch Zach pretty much all day Saturdays... Sunday is our only day together, and he usually finds someith gbetter to do, like golfing withhis dad. 18 holes...so it takes them like 4 - 6 hours because they're too *manly* to rent a cart.

Ugh.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: (((HUGS))) I know just how you feel. DH doesn't do anything around the house. He figures since I am a SAHM that I should do it all. It is irritating, but the house isn't clean enough for him and I tell him he can do it himself if he wants it done his way. He keeps quiet for about a week.

MEN!!!!!!!

Heather replied: (((HUGS))) I hope you get a well needed break sooon. Shame on DH.